He left today...

[SophieA]

Hi all. If you've read my posts before you know that my boyfriend and I have been together for a little more than 5 years now. He was accepted to med school in the caribbean and he left today. He will be down there for 20 months or so.

 

I can't. stop. crying. I will be visiting him in about 8 weeks when I go visit and he will be coming up here for a few weeks in August. I guess I am just looking for a little support today. Does this get any easier? Saying goodbye, I mean?

 

I keep telling myself that we have such a strong foundation; I shouldn't be sad or worry about him meeting someone new. Is it normal to feel like your s/o might find someone new in their new place? I also tell myself that as cliche as it sounds...what is meant to be will be.

 

Gosh, now I just feel like I am rambling. I just need a little support or some words of encouragement if you can spare any. Thanks everyone.

[Island Girl]

I felt the same way years ago when my husband left.

 

I felt like our relationship would fade away because I wasn't with him.

 

And that if we spent an extended period of time away from each other that our relationship would just fall apart.

 

Or he would get too lonely (or too horny) and the distance would be too hard for him.

 

But it wasn't the case.

 

Our relationship got WAAAAAY stronger than it ever had been.

 

I cried of course. I think it is natural to do so.

 

I'm here and listening if you just want to vent.

[LonelyTiger]

Hi Sophie. Sorry you're feeling so sad at the moment. I totally empathise with how you're feeling and I'm sure lots of others here do too.

 

If it helps, I think it does get easier.

 

My husband left to take a new job abroad in August and the first day was hell! I couldn't stop crying. Actually, the first few weeks were a total nightmare.

 

He's been home twice since then. He's just been home for one wonderful week and he left today too.

 

It is very difficult saying goodbye to the person you love but if you've been together for five years then you obviously do have a strong foundation.

 

20 months isn't as long as you might think and if you're seeing him in eight weeks and again in August you have some wonderful reunions to look forward to.

 

If there is anything going through your head that's worrying you or upsetting you, talk to him about it. Make sure you're both happy with the amount of contact you'll be having and stay involved in each others lives as much as you can. You will probably find that your relationship gets stronger.

 

Today was the third time I've had to go through the 'airport farewell' and, even though I already miss him like crazy (he left 12hrs ago) I am getting used to saying goodbye. I'm sure you'll find things get easier for you too.

 

Cry as much as you need to and then get busy with your life - the time will fly by and you'll be together again before you know it.

[Els]

I can so totally empathize!

 

I think most of us here know what it feels like to say goodbye... and the actual goodbyes never really got easier for me, although I'd gradually get used to his absence and learn to be content with Skype, playing games together, and little things like that.

 

You WILL feel better soon, I promise!

[Bearandsue]

I know this feeling so well. The first time my SO left the first time. I laid in bed and cried for a whole day. We lived together for 6 months. I think that day was the worst day of my life.

 

It will get better and I always say that this distance will only make your relationship stronger. Once you have a good foundation and a future plan. Stay strong.

[SophieA]

Thank you all so so much. IG, you're truly an inspiration.

 

I've been wavering between total confidence and serious worry for the past two weeks leading up to his departure. We talked through it all though and he's just so encouraging. I hope I can adjust (QUICKLY!) as best as I can to this distance and his super busy med school schedule. I suppose I should be happy that we've worked it out so hopefully we won't have to go more than 8-10 weeks between visits.

 

Tonight I am going to a friend's house to grill out so hopefully I can stop the tears by then...

 

Thanks again everyone. You're all caring, wonderful, helpful people.

[LittleTofu]

I can empathize with you... My boyfriend is in Australia for med school as well. He's been gone since February 1st. So, nearly 3 months have passed, but the night before he left, I was in tears. It's nearly impossible for me to go and visit him since I have work and am also in the midst of trying to get into medical school as well. I stayed up all night, waiting for him to come back online (if you don't have Skype, get it!) so that I could at least talk to him.

 

I CAN tell you that it does get easier, but the waiting is the challenge. Having said that, just take time to talk about your day. Don't demand too much from him, in terms of time. Med school, as you probably already know, is hard work and he'll need that time to study. I was pretty demanding and it led to some arguments. Not what you want to spend your time talking about. I guess it's more difficult for me since I live in Canada and he's in a completely different time zone.

 

I was lucky though... in order to make me feel better, he bought me a digital photoframe and we also got couple rings (we're Asian.. it's a big thing ). I also stole shirts from him (teeheehee), so I feel better when I have his things around me. I gave him letters to read on his 20+ hour flight.. and he later told me he was in tears. But time does pass... even though I'm still looking at 7 months. And that's really all we can hope for, isn't it?

 

Stay strong.