calling the OW?

[delajoonal]

ok, i am having a horrible day...can't stop crying...everything is TOO Much!

 

(see original post, divorce?affair? .....

basically my dh had an online EA, not in love with me anymore, wants a divorce, ALL out of NO where, complete shock and surprise, etc...the same ol' song and dance)

 

my mind is going 100 miles an hour...i keep going back to this OW..

she knew MY dh is married and she continued with their EA...

i just want to scratch my own eyes out!

btb, she is married too..and i DID call her husband about a month ago...apparently he arleady knew too..she gave him the same song my dh gave me...anyway....

 

i have ALL her phone numbers, i am a fraction of second from calling her and basically just reminding her of the devastation she took part in in destroying my family:sick:

 

PLEASE...anyone out there today...

stop me, encourage me...i am so darn lost today!

 

i just want to call her and scream (one version)

or

(second version)

just calmly say this is a reminder of what YOU did to me and my family and i am not going to let you forget IT for a VERY LONG TIME!

 

ok...please thoughts, anyone...i am fit to be tied!

 

p.s. i hope everyone is having a better day than me:love:

[searcher]

delajoonal DON'T DO IT!

 

I was 2 seconds away from doing this myself before my husband caught me getting the OW phne number from his cell.

 

I said if I had done it he would have been disappointed and It would have made things worse. This is hus usual manipulative BS.

 

I'm glad now that I didn't. It's wouldn't have made anything better and I think I might have just humiliated myself by showing lack of control.

 

I have a freind who phone the OW several times trying every different approach - trying to reason with her, getting angry at her. She said it changed nothing and didn't make her feel any better and now she wishes she had never done it.

 

Just my opinion - hope it helps. I'm sorry your having a bad day, so am I.

[Intricategirl]

It would be completely useless. Do you think she's suddenly going to realize that she hurt you and feel bad about it? My ex's OW knew he was married and when he said he was going to tell me he was leaving, she immediately pushed him into making plans to meet. They've known each other only a few months, and she's so desperate and so needy that she doesn't even give a damn what he, not to mention a woman he's cared about for 13 years and his children, feels. He's not sleeping well, he's losing weight, and as I told him last night, he seems to be making all the concessions in their relationship. And she already wants him to fly to her place again (fairly long, expensive flight) in June, so they can go to a concert together. And the trip is the day after school ends, and falls on his visitation weekend. He knew I wouldn't switch just to accommodate her, so he's trying to get his mom to watch the kids (grandparents get a full week each year, and he wants to burn it at the first second possible). The man has no furniture in his apartment and can't afford any, but as long as she gets to see him, she doesn't care.

 

And the reason he says he fell out of love with me is because he says he felt like I was taking advantage of him, and that he had to do everything...

 

He hasn't learned a thing about himself, and he'll get bored with her very quickly. Hopefully it's before she moves here, since I haven't heard a thing about her that screams "mental stability".

[delajoonal]

oh, thank you so much..both of you for being so quick...

 

you are BOTH right..i am NOT going to do it.

 

i am a strong confident woman, that my dh turned into a squirmy whiny crazy woman these past few months...i am NOT going to let HIM or HER do THIS to me anymore.

 

THANK YOU so much!

 

btb...she broke it off with my dh about a month ago..

she was afraid of losing her kids, home and business she owns...she said IT was just too much for only having thier 'trist' for only 3 weeks..

yes, 3 weeks, and my dh wants a divorce after 14 years together, family, pets, you name it.. a LIFE together..all for some OW he chatted with online for ONLY 3 weeks...omg! and NOW/ was in love with her...oh please! what a mess!

 

anyway... so bottom line..i am NOT going to call her!

 

this is why i LOVE this place...you are all so amazing, what would i do with out you all:love:

 

have a fabulous day...let's ALL have a fabulous day!

 

i have to keep thinking of good stuff now...my son is here telling me some crazy story about his adventures from last night..LOL..22 years old, so he is having the time of his life...so happy that way, and SO grateful..

i have my little chihuahua, SHE on the other hand, has NOT left daddy's bed, well, his computer room with the spare bed in it that he was sleeping in for some time now...so she is depressed and just lays on his pillow...

breaks my heart. when he came to pick up his ugly clothes a few days ago..he never picked her up, never said anything to her...she is very aware and smart and loving, and he LOVES her to pieces...so it just broke my heart, that HE is so MESSED up right now, he didn't even say goodbye to her:(

so that brings me to BOTH responses..you both mentioned how your dh's have not learned their lesson, so to speak, still selfish, manipulative and that passive/aggressive crap( what is that all about?)

anyway...ok, so i am rambling again..sorry..LOL

take care and THANK YOU AGAIN so much!

did i say i am so incredibly SORRY for you both as well...these men we married...what in the heck happened?

mid life crisis, identiy crisis, both?

ack!

[delajoonal]

p.s. did i mention i can breath now..i was in full on panic mode and couldn't breath...but you both searcher and Intricategirl saved the day:)

thank you.

[Intricategirl]

I'm actually fairly friendly with my ex. I was just as unhappy as he was, but I didn't have the guts to just pull the plug on it. And he treated me very decently in the money/stuff split.

 

And he has the decency to admit that I probably know what I'm talking about when I tell him to be careful. Whether he actually will or not is his problem and her problem. But regardless of whether they split up, I don't want him back. I'm fine being friends with him, but not really interested in dating a "child".

 

Edited to add- it's okay to have occasional doubts and moments of weakness. It happens.

[delajoonal]

intricategirl...i am so happy your D turned out to be what you needed and make you happy...you must be a very strong woman:)

i would like to think i am as well...but these days, i am honestly a mess...i think i should just be kind to myself, i keep beating myself up...but in reality it has only been just over a month, with him moving in and out a few times..he is out at this time...but who knows...as he really has no where to go...

i am thinking about what you said, how you were unhappy to, but didn't want to pull the plug, so to speak...i look back in my journals ( i write everyday for as long as i can remember) and it seems i had some really unhappy days, even stretches of time in the past 4 years...why didn't i pay attention more closely? maybe ALL of this could have been stopped?

anyway, i guess i could go on forever speculating, etc...

but what is done is done...

at this point, i want him back and loving ME

on the other hand

i NEVER want to see him again..and to just get on with MY LIFE:)

so i am still in the 'fresh wound' phase...

i pray i can be as happy as you...VERY SOON...please..LOL

 

thanks again so much..

take care.

[Intricategirl]

LOL! I don't know that I'm all that strong. I feel so weak sometimes. He's been gone for two weeks tomorrow (he was making plans with the OW while I was having a breast cancer scare). And part of me hopes he comes to his senses and wants me back, but I know I wouldn't take him back. In fact, I set up a plan of things I need to see in a guy and see in myself before I'm ready for another serious relationship. And if he ever wanted me back, he'd have to get in line with anybody else.

 

I was SO WEAK when I was with him. I mean, I'm not sure I knew how to get money out of the bank account before, and now I'm juggling 4 accounts, including 3 separate business accounts. He handled the finances, but I've already come up with a financial plan for myself and TOLD him what I planned on doing, rather than asked. Small steps certainly, but lightyears ahead of where I was two weeks ago.

 

I think the only thing scaring me is change. I can't be a SAHM mom anymore, and I need to finish my degree, and I have to learn how to handle the finances and problems with tenants, and raise two kids, and take care of making my own appointments... And there's not a single thing on that list that sounds that bad. He left his wife and ended up with a lot of years of child support/alimony, a long distance relationship that started as an EA, and a 1bd apartment with no furniture and no way to afford it for a while. But I get to finally go back to school, get my law degree, make a ton of money from my commercial property, and take some time to figure out what I want in a guy. I can wish him the best and mean it because I've already won.

[whichwayisup]

Write her letters then burn or rip them up. To email her is pointless because SHE DOESN'T CARE what she's done to you and your family. Sadly, and selfishly, your husband willingly got himself involved with her and yes, she is partially to blame for the affair, but he is the one who said vows to you. Ofcourse, out of respect for your marriage, it would've been nice if she stayed away from him knowing he was married, but obviously she's not that kind of woman.

 

Best revenge is to live life, try to heal yourself and find happiness without your selfish husband. Let him one day look at you and feel full of regret.

[whichwayisup]

And while you're at it, write him letters too. (But rip them or burn them..Only for your own use, it will be theraputic.)

 

He's a real sh*t and not worthy of your tears!

[delajoonal]

whichwayisup...

 

you are right too...

 

HE is mostly to blame..i just thought as a married woman and mom herself, she would have had some respect for just women in general?

i guess NOT everyone thinks like i do..

 

anyway, about the letters...oh boy, if you only knew..LOL

 

like i said, i have been journaling for many many years...

and i mean up to 32 pages a day sometimes...

so i have written SOOOO MANY letters to him , some sad, some saying

"does SHE (OW) know____ about you like i do?"

and some are just plain ol' angry calling him every name in the book..lol

 

i have discovered, i can even pen poems...no kidding...i guess the enormity of these emotions have brought something out in me..

my C says i should write a book...LOL...from ALL my journals and poems...they might help someone else someday, NOT to feel so alone and know that there are SO many of us (unfortunately out here).

 

and yes, i plan on living well...

like intricategirl, my alimony is going to be pretty hefty, as is the pention and 401k's etc. i will get from him...gosh, he was so stupid..if only he were a little more stealth, he could have just kept being marrried to me

(Cheaper) and had his flings, i would have never known...OR would i?

anyway...he really did NOT plan well for himself..

 

he is staying with his brother, they are NOT the best of friends, as a matter of fact, that is why he came back a few weeks ago..his brother said he could not stay at this house anymore, and i found out my dh was sleeping in his car for a few nights, and then working 20 hour days..

i know i know, why should i care..well, at THAT time i did..NOW...no flippin' way...especially after i let him come back, upon respectful agreements, like NO dating, etc...and what do i find...2 movie ticket stubs ...so out on his keester again..LOL

 

so, my problem is, i cannot legally make him stay out of our home, no violence etc., judge said, 'tough it out', since there are no records of violence...because there was none..just emotional abuse..you know?

 

anyway, my very long point..sorry..LOL

is i think he will have to come back at some point..and very soon too.

he literally has NO where to go, and cannot afford a motel, apartment, room nothing...our bills here won't allow the extra out going $$$...

 

anyway...i wanted to also mention to intricate girl just how much we do have in common, how weird, i too was in property managment for years..i loved that job ..you will be fine...tenants are just people too..don't let them bully you..you will do great! boy , i miss that job.LOL

 

and as for the other stuff, taking care of finacials etc...you will do well, i have been in control of our finances our entire marriage and before we were married too...

HE was the one that has NO clue how to balance a check book or budget or anything...he is really bad...LOL

 

ok thanks again so much..i just love chatting and posting..you all are so amazing and help me so much..thanks again:love:

[confused71]

I managed to find OMs number and I gave him a call.I asked him what he thought about the fact that he was helping break up a family.He actually laughed.

He just sounded like one of those player types to me ,someone with all the talk,who will probably move on when hes bored of stbxw.

 

So making that call didnt really help at all .It just made me more upset that she left for a lowlife like him.

[delajoonal]

confused71...

 

i am so sorry you had to hear that:(..ack!

i am still just in shock at how many of us there are out here...

i had NO idea...thought i was in my happy little married world...

never a jealous bone in my body or thought ever...and now this!

 

anyway, i did call the OW H, and she found out emailed my dh and

really let HIM (my dh) have it...cause she had already broke it off with

him...anyway...long story short, her H already knew too...

 

my dh admitted that the feelings he 'had' for OW, were not recipricated...

that actually made me sadder..cause here he just gave up a 13 year marriage, family, life style, etc...all for a 3 week trist online..LOL..OMG!

so it made me think, how stupid IS MY DH..really...and more and more i think...is the memories making me sad...or is it that he is gone, or is the humilation of being left for basicallly NO one now..geesh!

 

well, i did not make that call...SHE knows what she did...i am sure she won't forget it soon...her H will remind her enought with out me calling..LOL

good luck and take care confused71:)

[dgiirl]

My rationale for not contacting the OW, I would be damned if I would give either of them reasons to justify what they were doing. I could see him telling her, or her believing, "Oh I'm so unhappy in my marriage. My wife is so meant to me, blah blah blah." If I called her up, I would have been a crazy lunatic on the phone, which would have given her more reasons to think yeah she is crazy and mean.

 

Instead, I just decided that neither of them were worth my time. I did not want to lower myself or my dignity. Although I cried a lot for months and even years, I kept it to myself. If she is the type of person to chase a married man, and he's the type of person to cheat while married, they both have so disgustingly low morals, I dont want to be associated with either of those type of people and they absolutely deserve each other. But apparently they are meant for each other as they now have a child together. At times that stings, but c'est la vie.

 

I know in my own heart, my life is 1000 times better than it ever was. I would NEVER want my old life back. I just wish they would have been hurt as much as they hurt me.

[Gunny376]

Absolutely you should call her!

 

"Thank you! Oh thank you so much for taking this lying, cheating, two-timing SOB off of my hands! I don't know what I would have done had it not been for you!"

 

Now I can live my life to its fullest, to its top! I can go where I want, when I want, with whom I want! I can laugh again! I can smile again! I can breath again!

 

I can go out and rub a little sunshine on my face!

 

I can find someone who appreciates me for being me! And what I've got to offer a truly good man that has a 'code" honor, fidelity, that I can trust and depend on, to be there for me through the good times and the bad times and when things get tough!

 

Hell I'd even send her a Hallmark Card ~ if you can find the right sentiment for such?

 

The greatest gift I ever gave myself? Was to let HIM have her! The poor Bastard!

[delajoonal]

Gunny...you have done it again...managed to bring a smile even an out loud giggle to this BS!..LOL

 

unfortunately SHE OW, did not want him either..LOL...she broke it off and decided to make her OWN marriage work...kids, house, business, etc..

too much too lose for a 3 week online trist...

 

funny, i had a text message all set up over a month ago, with pics and all, when i first found out...saying just that...you 2 deserve each other, now i can spend HIS Money and not listen to him complaining about what i spent it on...(even at the grocery store, thsi man is such a tight wad..LOL)

the pics were indications that he has some icky habits..LOL

anyway..i never did send it, cause they broke up...

 

however, i do believe there is someone at his work that he is NOW seeing/dating/whatever? not sure...but...

 

dgiirl...i smiled as well reading you post..thinking YA!

she is so right, what the Heck to i need some SOB that has crushed the

covenant of marriage, that I SO deeply believe in...

but then i got the end and read the part where your XH did end up with the OW and had a baby, i cried..i am so sorry, that pain must have been horrific...to be honest, i have been so afraid of hearing those words myself, i would stop breathing all together...BUT on the other hand, my dh never wanted kids..but he also said he would LOVE me and be my husband for life...so much for that.LOL

i am glad you are doing well, and it all turned out best for you in the end.

wish me the same luck dgiirl:)

 

take care all

gnite

and hope we ALL have a Fabulous sunday!

(i know some us dread that sunday day..used to be family day, right?)

we can get thru this:love:

[dgiirl]

Throughout our relationship, my exh said he never wanted kids, or that we should wait till we were in our thirties to have them. Right when 31 came, he was out the door. As the jackass was walking out the door, he then was so gracious to tell me "I always wanted kids, just not with you." wasting 11 years of my life. Finding out he did have a child with her hurt just so much more. But when I really think about it, they are now stuck together forever. I dont know why it's "working" for them, but on the other side of the coin, I think about all the lies they must tell to their family and friends on how they met. What will they tell this child when they are older? Will he ever know his dad was married and had an affair with his mother? It's just secrets and lies and baggage I would NEVER want to live with, or carry around, myself for my entire life.

 

Someone in this thread mentioned how the dumper always trades down. I've heard that before and it always gave me some comfort in the past. I'm not sure if it's 100% true, but at least I know he has traded down to someone who would cheat with a married man, who has no respect for marriage, and would "cry" to get her way (he tried breaking it off but he "broke her heart and she cried").

 

What I've never heard before was how the dumpee always trades up. As for me, I've definitely by FAR traded up. My new guy gives me everything I wanted in a relationship. I wanted a man who treated me like an equal, who respected me as an individual and believed I was capable of doing anything, but also someone who was willing to treat me like a woman, who would protect me as a man does for a woman, and he never ever makes me feel insecure or beneath him. He communicates and he shows his affectionate side ALL the time. He's romantic and sweet. I use to be very envious of other girls. Their guy, and their relationship would always be filled with simple affection and romance. Now, I'm no longer envious.

 

When I look at everything I get in this relationship so freely and effortlessly, everything I've always wanted and never ever got in the past, my only regret is why I didnt dump my exh, and sooner. I wasted sooooo much of my life with the wrong person. I compromised my needs too much in the past. I put up with way too much. I was too young and too dumb to realize I deserved and could get sooo much better.

 

So yah, my ego hurts when I just look at the moment he left me and the way he treated me during and after the marriage. But in reality, my life is better and I would never want my past life.

 

It took me time, effort and determination for a better life, to get here, but I did. I'm 100% sure it will for you too, if you take this opportunity, reevaluate every single thing in your life, decide what works and what doesnt, and make positive changes so you can achieve a fulfilling life. I looked at this situation as a once in a lifetime god giving opportunity to build an amazing fulfilling life and I was not going to waste it. I've seen what divorce can do to people, how they would wallow in self-pity, could become bitter and live a miserable life afterward, and I was determined NOT to live that way. My motto was "He made the decision to divorce, but I was going to make it the RIGHT decision". I was bound and determined to build a new and fulfilling life that would surpass my old life 1000 times fold so I would never want to go back. I've achieved that.

 

You've got a new chance at life. Go live out your dreams!

[Intricategirl]

Ha! Gunny, you rock.

 

Dgiirl, I hadn't thought about the trading down/trading up thing, but I wonder if you're onto something. I think it's because they're jumping in without any sort of personal examination of themselves and why it ended. They are simultaneously mourning the end of the marriage and falling in "love", so eventually, when they think of love, all they can think of is it ending. Self-fulfilling prophecy... Whereas those who've been dumped wonder why someone would do this to them, pick at their every flaw, and eventually decide that they are flawed, but there's no excuse. And in the process, maybe they work on a few of those flaws.

 

Or maybe not.

 

Delajoonal, I'm in property management only because I have to be. I've got a beautiful old commercial building on a small town square, and I got it in the split. I hate managing it, but if that's what it takes to get the rent payments on time, I'll do it.

[PWSX3]

The cool thing about now is all the information you can learn about relationships, marriages, etc. but I feel the most important part is; are you willing to do that hard work to look at yourself?????

 

In my situation I feel my former wife ran from her problems, our problems, etc. Until a person really looks at themselves you will always be running & I feel that is why people trade down, to feel better then the other person.

 

A friend shared this with me. When you go into a bar feeling like a 2, then you will come home with a 2, but if you go in feeling like an 8 you will come home with an 8 & the only way that will happen is work on yourself.

 

It is hard to look at yourself, it hurts but the reward will be so worth it in the end.....

[delajoonal]

happy sunday all!

 

(not really, no sleep and am depressed today)

 

BUT...first thing, come to LS..i knew i would find words of wisdom, caring, and towards a better future...

and Viola`...you are all here, THANK YOU:)

 

dgiirl...your post was amazing, thank you for sharing with us/me.

your new love sounds wonderful...and you deserve it.

 

and you are right, how will those 2 (exh&OW) explain how they met to their children, their grand children, etc....not a happy memory, so something will have to be made up...yet another lie...so those 2 will continute to live their lives in total lies:( sad really.

 

i am so happy you found a man to give you all you deserve and needed.

but i bet it came only after some long hard days of re-evaulating yourself and what you want from life, and relationships?

 

i think that is the point that PWSX3 is making in his post...

now, as the BS's, we have to really look into ourselves and our past relationship, and how and why it got to the point of divorce/infideltiy, etc.

and then evaluate what we now need to do to move on, get emotionally and physically healthier, as the stress of the cheating and divorce can really take its toll on our bodies...

 

so, in a sense, the stbx, actually did us a favor, we can now look at ourselves, and determine what we REALLY want in a relationship, and our futures...we only have so much time on this planet...at the same time, when the wounds are fresh, still only a few weeks into the whole ordeal, it is difficult to SEE the light at the end of this very dark tunnel.

 

but with some time, being kind to ourselves, good friends, and this place LS, we can do it...

 

i have read some posts where the BS has come back to post a year or so later, stating that they were exactly where i am now, never thought they would be happy again or love again...and they are here to say, they did it...the pain is gone, they are happy, moved on, even met new loves..

 

like you dgiirl...so you all keep my hopes high and keep me coming back:)

 

intricategirl, you mentioned about the whole dumper trading down..

OMG! i laughed, because IT IS SO TRUE!

 

i was lucky or not, enough to find out who my dh had the online EA with, her phone numbers, full name etc..she has a business here, and is online, with pics and all her bio's etc...OMG! i cried, at first, because i thought, R U KIDDING ME, my dh is dumping me for THIS! i really hate to be like this, ok, but she is NOT pretty at all, and i would be the first to say when i think a woman is gorgeous, i've never been jealous of other woman.

i would give more detail on what she looks like, but i think at this point, it would be cynical and disrespectful to aLL us women to start pickign upart HER misgivings...i am NOT perfect...but my point, i just can't believe he was going to dump me for HER..ack! really, i am not kidding, that bad.

 

at this point, who cares, they are over....i'm still alone...for now..tee hee.

but i am here to tell you, first hand, IT is true, the dumper DOES TRADE DOWN....

 

sooo on that note, i hope you all have a fabulous day!

i know i am going to try too...today started off with tears, and depression, but LS and getting up and out makes a difference...it is so hard, but it does feel better once i've gotten up and outside and with people, etc.

take care all:love:

[PWSX3]

Cry, be sad, feel the pain, it is all part of the process.....Like they say in divorce care class; there are two ways of going thru a divorce.

1) extreme pain

2) excruciating pain

There is no other way, to heal you have to go thru the pain........So admit it is going to happen, take it for what it is worth & learn from it.....

 

I remember the day when I didn't think I would ever see the end of the tunnel, I didn't even think their was an end but it does get better, you just have to work at it...Like I said before I feel the more you work on what you can do the less you will think about them & it just gets better each day.....

 

Today I had to see my former wife about papers on the duplex & I handed her the papers but she wanted to talk. She still is wondering if the divorce was the right thing to do. She said I didn't give her an answer, which I just said; yes I told you at this time I was not willing to work on it. She replied with; yes but that was the first time. I just just said; my answer never changed.......

 

It feels good like Dgiirl said; when you are happy with yourself things look so much better, but don't expect not to go thru the pain you have to do that.....

 

Good luck, each day will bring a different emotion but that roller coaster does smooth out!!!!

[Intricategirl]

PWSX3, see, and that's what worries me. I've had a couple of moments where it hurts, but mostly, I'm glad it's over. And when I do get upset, I can look back and tie every single time to being scared about the change, rather than the end of the relationship. I don't know if I'm just deluding myself and it will hit later, or if I'm really, honestly glad. I think I'm honestly happy about it, but I'm aware that it could just be my brain trying to protect me. And I DID expect the pain, I just haven't really encountered it yet.

[PWSX3]

PWSX3, see, and that's what worries me. I've had a couple of moments where it hurts, but mostly, I'm glad it's over. And when I do get upset, I can look back and tie every single time to being scared about the change, rather than the end of the relationship. I don't know if I'm just deluding myself and it will hit later, or if I'm really, honestly glad. I think I'm honestly happy about it, but I'm aware that it could just be my brain trying to protect me. And I DID expect the pain, I just haven't really encountered it yet.

Everyone's situation is different, everyone goes through the process different. Just like anger, I went through it a few times.... & I still wonder if there might be a couple more rounds left in me...:laugh:

[delajoonal]

PWSX3....

i was just wondering, since i am fairly new to LS, and not sure of your whole story...it sounds like your exw had an affair and you decided on divorce?

 

if you don't mind, can i ask...was that your first and final thought, to just divorce her? or did you try to do MC? or IC?

 

was the pain and the NO trust thing so huge, you just knew you would never get over it and never have a healthy marriage because you could no longer trust her?

 

sorry, you don't have to answer, if too personal.

 

but, i am still in the 'fresh wound' phase...and still hurting from what my dh did with the online EA, then the million lies that came after it,

the shock and not seeing IT coming in the first place...ALL of it, including, the change this will bring to my plans for the future, dreams, etc.

 

cause intricategirl has mentioned in alot of her posts, that she is NOT in pain, and it has only been a few weeks...she says she is not sure if she is just scared for change or if she really will miss the relationship/marriage?

 

anyway, when do you know?

 

i guess really it is like you stated, that every one is different, recovery time, etc...but when did you know, you just could NOT go back to your wife and the trust was absolutely gone and NEVER to be fixed?

 

i am asking, cause i know my husband, and he is a creature of habit and comfort and i just know in my gut he at some point, will want to come back...the only thing that keeps me saying NO, is all the lies i keep catching him in..NOT so much the EA even...but the lies, and they are stupid weird little lies...that and every time he goes on his computer i inadvertently ask, " what are you doing?", "who are you talking too?"

 

ack...LOL...it is so darn degrading to hear myself sometimes...i NEVER had a jealous thought with my dh...so this is just killing me...it is such an awful emotion...i never knew i had IT in me to react this way...ugh...its gross..LOL

 

anyway...any thoughts or sharing on when you all just knew IT/marriage could not be reconciled due to the TRUST issue?

 

p.s. hope everyone had a nice sunday.

i spent the day on the phone with my best friend...wanna hear something weird...her bf of 14 years, just told her yesterday, that he is not in love with her anymore , etc, etc....we all know the text book story and lines.

OMG! how did this happen to both of us in a matter of one month.

 

anyway...thanks again you are all sweet angels:love:

[searcher]

delajoonal, you and i must me channeling our thoughts from the same place. I have been wondering the exact same things myself. I'm really interested to hear anyones feedback on when and why they knew there was no going back after being left by thier spouse.