Looking_4_normal Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 So I decided to try the whole online dating thing and started talking to a really nice guy. We've been talking via e-mail for about 5 days now, and pretty much have each other's life story. But he is already talking about how he likes me a lot and want's to take me home with him in the summer to meet his family, and wants to take me on trips with him and so on. And he wanted to spend the whole weekend together for our first meeting ( I of course suggested a one day first meeting which he was ok with). Just wondering if he is being clingy, or am I just reading too much into it? Should I even go ahead with meeting him or should I end it before it even starts? Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
windows Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 wow he really knows how to express his feelings. He said all these things to a woman he's never met and only known for 5 days? Now tell me if that sounds like something you or your friends would normally do? Just be warned. Link to post Share on other sites
sotired Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 I'd run for the hills. That's too much too fast. Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 He has never seen you and he doesn't know if you are going to be as attracted in person. You have known him for 5 days and he is talking about all of these things? He sounds desperate and at the very least quite impulsive. I would be so freaked out by him I couldn't go through with meeting him. The writing is on the wall - if he is like this now when he is putting his best foot forward - what is he going to be like if you get involved further. Holy crap! Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 Your WORST problem ( amoung many ) is you have never seen HIM. Now he may be a 350 lb man sitting at the computer screen with stains on his threadbare t-shirt .. He might be a hottie but believe me there is a REASON why he is pushing SO fast for a girl he never really met. Meet him. ( If you must ) Before you do - have ZERO expectations- that way , if he's cute and it works out you won't be half as dissapointed. What guys makes life plans with a girl he never met ? Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 How did you respond? That's a lot of things to bring up over a few conversations. If you didn't give put the breaks on clearly then, but instead were encouraging him, he may have just gotten carried away. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Looking_4_normal Posted April 21, 2009 Author Share Posted April 21, 2009 Well I hope my responses didn't inadvertantly lead him on. I basically told him that we would start with a meeting ( made sure to use that word instead of date) and go from there. I sort of tried to avoid responding too much too that stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
endorphins Posted April 28, 2009 Share Posted April 28, 2009 this person is NOT desperate, he is just open and friendly, its more than I can say for most people on here with their ill-mannered advice. So what he told you his life story, he obviously comfortable with you. Ok, so he asked for more than a day, there is nothing wrong with that, all you have to do is say no.. simple. The guy just wants to spend time with someone he obviously wants to get to know. Im tired of all these people being so cynical and negative. I say go for it, follow your gut instincts and have a bloody good time! unless you dont have the power to say no and walk away... Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted April 28, 2009 Share Posted April 28, 2009 this person is NOT desperate, he is just open and friendly, its more than I can say for most people on here with their ill-mannered advice. So what he told you his life story, he obviously comfortable with you. Ok, so he asked for more than a day, there is nothing wrong with that, all you have to do is say no.. simple. The guy just wants to spend time with someone he obviously wants to get to know. Im tired of all these people being so cynical and negative. I say go for it, follow your gut instincts and have a bloody good time! unless you dont have the power to say no and walk away... You don't see the RED FLAGS here ? He has never met her and wants to spend the weekend with her and meet his family. Most * normal * people want to meet and go on some dates and THEN determine at some point that they want their partner to meet the family , ect. While it sounds sweet and out of a fairy tale , she has NOT met him , knows nothing really about him to spend the weekend. This takes time. * Cynical * ? Hardly. What if he is not what he represents to be ? A Smart women would meet him and then OVER TIME make the decision to spend MORE time with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Starbright_SB Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 Uhhh, ok i'm not going to judge if he's desperate or clingy or whatever. That being said his behavior sounds like a more extreme version of my ex boyfriend. Ex for a reason. He first became very jealous. then clingy. then he started trying to control everything i did and tried manipulating me into doing what he wanted. then when his attempts failed, it became verbally abusive. when i broke up with him i had to stay at a friends house becasue he would not stop calling or showing up at my house at 3 am, and he backed me into the side of my house once when i wouldnt hug him like he demanded. That is my bad experience, and i am not saying that you will have the same one, but keep in mind that it is very strange for someone to try and push a big step in a relationship before the relationship has really even started. Why does he need to rush things? take care! Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 Uhhh, ok i'm not going to judge if he's desperate or clingy or whatever. That being said his behavior sounds like a more extreme version of my ex boyfriend. Ex for a reason. He first became very jealous. then clingy. then he started trying to control everything i did and tried manipulating me into doing what he wanted. then when his attempts failed, it became verbally abusive. when i broke up with him i had to stay at a friends house becasue he would not stop calling or showing up at my house at 3 am, and he backed me into the side of my house once when i wouldnt hug him like he demanded. That is my bad experience, and i am not saying that you will have the same one, but keep in mind that it is very strange for someone to try and push a big step in a relationship before the relationship has really even started. Why does he need to rush things? take care! I think if you would have continued with this relationship there would have eventually been physical abuse. ( I realize he was already getting forceful and pushy with you ) Thats where the controlling gets out of control and the fists come out. They do this because they are very insecure. I had a bf/husband who spent years accusing me of seeing people ( not true ) Youcan never * fix * them and their insecurities. The best thing to do is RUN ! Link to post Share on other sites
sugabug001 Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 Sounds insecure and as if he must be pretty desperate..Anyone that would want to move that fast would be sending me all kinds of warning signals..I think that might almost be enough to scare me off..I would at least do what I need to do to slow things down a bit..Who knows it the life story he told you is really about his life....Give it some time--play it safe..... Link to post Share on other sites
sugabug001 Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 I would play it safe and slow things down lots..A guy that wants to move that fast sounds desperate..And who knows if the life story he told you is really about his life..I hear warning bells on this one..sorry Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 I used to use online dating services when I had greater difficulties in the dating arena, and I think that's the point: men who use online dating services generally do have issues meeting women face-to-face. You can expect insecure, clingy guys on dating sites -- it comes with the territory. Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki Sahagin Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 I would still go ahead and meet him. If you have a problem with anything he is saying, then just say no. Or just tell him, I feel you are being a bit too full on. There may be a dark, more sinister aspect to his character as others here have highlighted. There may not. He may just have got carried away in the moment. Meet him so at least you have a 'real-life' perception of him. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 Me thinks you likely won't be that pleased. Based on my internet experiences ( no more , no thanks ) . A vast majority are much shorter , much heavier , much NOT looking anything like their picture. Or if they are hot , they are carrying around alot of issues, Usually SERIOUS ones. Like ADD, Tourettes ( total of 6 met ) or deeper worse issues you could NEVER fix. You might be one of the rare ones but really DATE the guy , ok ? Don't say you are in love....so soon...the skeletons come out later. Link to post Share on other sites
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