Overseer13 Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 Ok so...My gf and I have been dating for 3 yrs and 6 mos. For the past 8 mos I have been living in another state to go to college. This past christmas we broke up for a short period of time (about a week) and during this time she was seeing another guy. We started going back out a bit before I came back. I went back to the other state for second semester. We have been great for the past 4 months. I was thinking about proposing this summer. Last night, she confessed that while we were broken up, she had sex with that guy only once. Now I realize why he has been bugging her, wanting to talk. She refuses to talk to him. What should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 You don't have to do anything. I would ask her what she wants to do now..... If she wants nothing more to do with him, she must make it very clear. If she does not know whether she would like to be with you, or him, then I would break up with her and tell her to make her mind up. I have seen on this forum the phrase "once a cheater, always a cheater". How are you feeling about what happened? Link to post Share on other sites
Zeta4PhiSius Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 TaraMaiden- They were broken up. She got together with another guy while they were broken up. They were not on a break. She didn't cheat. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 Thank you, yes, I did read. But the only reason she has confessed now, is because this other man is harassing her. This would have stayed secret, and I am only guessing, but I think the only reason she confessed, was because of her fear that this other man would reveal it.... I am simply wondering really what overseer13 feels about this. I was assuming (and you are correct, it is an assumption and perhaps unwise) tht he cannot be feeling very good about it at all. So I was wondering what this has done to their relationship, and what he feels like doing..... I should write better..... _/l\_ Link to post Share on other sites
LonelyTiger Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 What should I do? I'd love to help but I'm not sure exactly what you're asking. What should you do about what? If you weren't together when your girlfriend slept with somebody else, she has been completely open about it and she refuses to talk to him now, it doesn't sound as though she's done anything wrong. I can understand your concern if this other guy is still bugging her and upsetting her. If that's the issue, you could ask her if she'd like you to help her in some way with this. If you're having second thoughts about proposing because she had sex with someone else (when she wasn't with you), I would think you just need to talk to her. Tell her how you feel about what happened. She sounds like a very open, honest person and will therefore probably be happy to put your mind at rest if she can. Link to post Share on other sites
BUENG1 Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 Ok so...My gf and I have been dating for 3 yrs and 6 mos. For the past 8 mos I have been living in another state to go to college. This past christmas we broke up for a short period of time (about a week) and during this time she was seeing another guy. We started going back out a bit before I came back. I went back to the other state for second semester. We have been great for the past 4 months. I was thinking about proposing this summer. Last night, she confessed that while we were broken up, she had sex with that guy only once. Now I realize why he has been bugging her, wanting to talk. She refuses to talk to him. What should I do? Do you think she was seeing this person before you broke up. Do you think she planned the break up so she could hook up with him? If not I don't really think she did anything wrong. This doesn't mean that can't be upset or uncomfortable with happened, or that you have to propose, or continue your relationship. You're not married or engaged and haven't made any promises to anybody(besides to be exclusive, while you are dating) with regards to this relationship. What makes you upset about what happened? Do you think she pursued a romantic relationship before you broke up, still involved with him, or are just upset she slept with the guy? Personally if the relationship is going well and you believe you want to spend the rest of your life with this person than I would try to get over it. But that's your call, you don't need a justification to not to want to continue. Link to post Share on other sites
Cherished Posted April 19, 2009 Share Posted April 19, 2009 I think there is a problem. If she was in love with you, she wouldn't have jumped into bed within being broken up for only 1 week. I would forget her, to be honest, and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Overseer13 Posted April 20, 2009 Author Share Posted April 20, 2009 Thanks everyone...The main thing is that I just feel a bit disgusted with her...but I think we are going to work through it. She feels awful about all of it, and has promised that nothing will ever happen again. As for him...I am now debating whether to confront him or not. He tries to talk to her probably once a week, and he lied and said that while on vacation to the place I am living, he saw me cheating on her with another girl. If i was in the same state as him, I'd prolly knock him out, but its kidna hard when im about 10,000 miles away. Link to post Share on other sites
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