dontomaso Posted October 18, 2003 Share Posted October 18, 2003 What up everyone.. Here's the deal. My girlfriend and I broke up about 1 year ago. We dated for 9 months and it was great but neither of us ever fully committed to the other. We broke up because she moved to New Zealand for 6 months. When she returned to the States, she was on the other side of the country. When she first left I did not want to stay together with her but then I started missing her a lot and wanted to get back together (God knows why.. she was half way across the earth). She did not want me at this point, so I broke off contact. When she got back to the US, we started talking again, but just as friends. Things were going well, until we had a big blow up. Now she won't talk to me at all. I am so frustrated. I feel like I spent an entire year trying to be friends with her only to have it disolve because of one argument. It's been so long since we broke up it doesn't seem right that we can't just make up and continue to grow our friendship from across the country... any opinions out there.. thanks! Don T Link to post Share on other sites
VASH THE STAMPEDE Posted October 20, 2003 Share Posted October 20, 2003 This thread looks awfully familiar. What type of argument was it??? Did you start it??? Was there anything said to emotionally hurt her?? Just give it a couple of days and call her back,APOLOGIZE for anything you may have said wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
dontomaso Posted October 20, 2003 Share Posted October 20, 2003 Thanks for your interest VASH... Well... yes... some hurtful things were said. As is the case with this stuff, the point of contention was the reason for the break-up itself. Honestly, at the time of our break-up, I did not know the reasons why I didn't want to stay together; I just knew it wasn't right. In retrospect we should have talked about it all then, but rather than do that, she skirted the entire issue by going to see her ex boyfriend before she went on her trip to NZ. It obviously hurt me a lot when she went to see her ex though I didn't voice it at the time... and thus I skirted the issue as well. Nevertheless, the pain grew as time went on and became a huge point of contention. Our most recent fight started when she said that she still missed her ex (the same one she went to go see). It still hurt me to hear this but I asked her to tell me about it because total honesty is the only way for a real friendship to exist. As much as I asked her to explain it to me, she would not say anything about it except that she could tell her girlfriends and not me. That really upset me, so I told her in an email some of the reasons why we could never be back together. These reasons had become more apparent over the course of the past year though I never said any of them because there was no point in bringing it up... until she brought her exboyfriend up. The email I wrote her was not malicious. It was very thoughtful and it hurt to write, but I thought that I might as well be as honest as possible. The email was as much an apology as it was an explanation. Since that time, I have tried to contact her but she will not take my calls. The few occasions when I have gotten through to her she hung up immediately. I'm pretty sure any chance of friendship is ruined. I can never call her again knowing that I might be hung up on. It's too painful and I've tried too many times. The reason I've tried so hard to be friends is that she told me she always wanted to be friends when we broke up. With hindsight, it feels like that might have been a cliche line at the time, and in reality, a lie which has caused this whole ordeal to drone along much linger than it should have. It's so hard to tell now. I can't tell where the truth ends and the lies begin. It really does not matter either. All that matters to me is that we both respect each other enough to clear the air, apologize to each other, and be there to support one another as life winds along... Link to post Share on other sites
dontomaso Posted October 20, 2003 Share Posted October 20, 2003 Thanks for your interest VASH... Well... yes... some hurtful things were said. As is the case with this stuff, the point of contention was the reason for the break-up itself. Honestly, at the time of our break-up, I did not know the reasons why I didn't want to stay together; I just knew it wasn't right. In retrospect we should have talked about it all then, but rather than do that, she skirted the entire issue by going to see her ex boyfriend before she went on her trip to NZ. It obviously hurt me a lot when she went to see her ex though I didn't voice it at the time... and thus I skirted the issue as well. Nevertheless, the pain grew as time went on and became a huge point of contention. Our most recent fight started when she said that she still missed her ex (the same one she went to go see). It still hurt me to hear this but I asked her to tell me about it because total honesty is the only way for a real friendship to exist. As much as I asked her to explain it to me, she would not say anything about it except that she could tell her girlfriends and not me. That really upset me, so I told her in an email some of the reasons why we could never be back together. These reasons had become more apparent over the course of the past year though I never said any of them because there was no point in bringing it up... until she brought her exboyfriend up. The email I wrote her was not malicious. It was very thoughtful and it hurt to write, but I thought that I might as well be as honest as possible. The email was as much an apology as it was an explanation. Since that time, I have tried to contact her but she will not take my calls. The few occasions when I have gotten through to her she hung up immediately. I'm pretty sure any chance of friendship is ruined. I can never call her again knowing that I might be hung up on. It's too painful and I've tried too many times. The reason I've tried so hard to be friends is that she told me she always wanted to be friends when we broke up. With hindsight, it feels like that might have been a cliche line at the time, and in reality, a lie to make me feel better. The problem is I really did want to be friends and still do. It's so hard to tell now. I can't tell where the truth ends and the lies begin. It really does not matter either. All that matters to me is that we both respect each other enough to clear the air, apologize to each other, and be there to support one another as life winds along... Link to post Share on other sites
VASH THE STAMPEDE Posted October 20, 2003 Share Posted October 20, 2003 Just move on . I think she probably just playing with you head . If you can't move on, DON'T call her it will only prolong the issue. Find other interest. Link to post Share on other sites
dontomaso Posted October 20, 2003 Share Posted October 20, 2003 For shizzle... It's just ashame that two people can't work something so simple out. It makes some of the world's greatest problems seem, well, much greater. Link to post Share on other sites
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