greatdad Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 Well, the time has come and my wife and I are proceeding with a divorce. Married 19 years and have two wonderful kids. I need to get my head on straight as I realize what's going on. In the mean time, can anyone suggest some good books to read as I got through this process. I need to learn, so that the next time around, I do it right and hopefully make it last. I just can't believe all the great feedback everyone provides and now unfortunately I am now part of the 50% of people who go through divorce. I will post more about my situation at some soon, now's just not the right time. (I probably need all your feedback to shake some sense into me!!) Thanks for the feedback everyone. (I've been "lurking" on here for a long time and just decided that all you good people would have some great suggestions for me!) Link to post Share on other sites
TrustInYourself Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 Who wanted the divorce? What kind of books are you looking for? What are your feelings on the whole situation? You want to be equipped to pick up ladies? You want to be a better communicator to the opposite sex? You want to know what you are in for, with the divorce? Raising children after divorce? Divorce proceedings? Good gravy, there are books on anything and everything. Link to post Share on other sites
delajoonal Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 hi there.. first i am very sorry your marriage did not turn out the way you had hoped:( i am in limbo myself right now...but there are a few books i bought and LOVED...my favorite one so far is: How to Survive the Loss of a Love by peter mcnamara it is not just about losing love from death etc...it deals with losing a husband/wife, job, etc...the author lists many things and reasons this book can helpl with ANY loss. the pages are filled with incentive to keep going..and to be KIND to yourself...and well, i just recommend it HIGHLY! you can get it on ebay for a buck or 2... hope this helps, cause it helps me, i highlight stuff i want to re-read, etc..out of all the books i got this month, that is the one i keep going back too.. it was written by 4 doctors, and is actually a very simple read...but just opens your heart to acceptance and future love, and also just letting yourself grieve, cause divorce is HUGE major loss..no matter what anyone says...divorce is ...well, the enormaty of my seperation is just to painful to put into words...so i this book has been amazing for me. good luck greatdad...take care Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 "Why Men Don't Get Enough Sex and Women Don't Get Enough Love" "1001 Ways To Be Romantic" "1001 More Ways To Be Romantic" "Romance 101" "Why Men Don't Have A Clue, and Women Need Another Pair of Shoes" "DivorceBusting" "How To Satisfy A Woman Every time and Have Her Beg For More" "2002 Things To Do On A Date" "The Five Languages Of Love" "Men Are From Mars and Women are Venus" "When Mars and Venus Collide" ebook, "Women's Infidelity" ebook, "Secrets of the Alpha Male" ebook, "Dating Blackbook" "The Game," by Neil Strauss "Seduction" ebook, "Double Your Dating" "How To Read A Person Like A Book" "How To Give Her Absolute Pleasure" "The Two Minute Lover" "How To Light Her Fire" :p:p:p:p "Parenting Doesn't End At Conception!" "Laundry 101 ~ You Too Can Wash Clothes!" "You'll Survive Until Morning Without It!" "You Too Can Sleep On the Wet Spot!" "Letting Go Of the Remote Control!" "A Man, A Can, A Plan and and Microwave! ~ You To Can Fix Your Own Supper!" "What It Took To GET ME, is what it takes to KEEP ME!" "Date Your Mate!" "Don't Take Me For Granted" "I'm Not Your Very Own Personal VLSS (Vaginal Life Support System)!" Link to post Share on other sites
Liquid Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 The Best Book is "His Needs Her Needs." Period! Link to post Share on other sites
sumdude Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 Anything by Christopher Moore.... not relationship books but right now you could use some big belly laughs. Link to post Share on other sites
boldjack Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 Anything by Spike Milligan is hysterical. You will need a few laughs. Link to post Share on other sites
Author greatdad Posted April 21, 2009 Author Share Posted April 21, 2009 Who wanted the divorce? What kind of books are you looking for? She initiated it, but we both know that we need to divorce and move on to be happy. Basically I need to read up to be a better communicator in my next relationship. It wasn't something that came natural to me. My family was never good at "real" communcations anyway! What are your feelings on the whole situation? Since we've been having communcation issues for so long, at least we started to communicate again to some extent to go through the reasons for our broke down marriage and understand that the changes are best for the both of us! You want to be equipped to pick up ladies? You want to be a better communicator to the opposite sex? You want to know what you are in for, with the divorce? Raising children after divorce? Divorce proceedings? Books to help with communication with the opposite sex would be a good start and raising the kids may be more important! I am a very close with my kids and do everything with them, but when we're apart, I need to make sure I remain that way. Good gravy, there are books on anything and everything. I do appreciate everyones feedback, to say the least. More to come! Link to post Share on other sites
Author greatdad Posted April 21, 2009 Author Share Posted April 21, 2009 Gunny. I knew you would chime in. You can really be an inspiration to us who've lost direction! For that I thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
Liquid Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 Gunny. I knew you would chime in. You can really be an inspiration to us who've lost direction! For that I thank you! Are you getting that book that I recommended? Link to post Share on other sites
Author greatdad Posted April 21, 2009 Author Share Posted April 21, 2009 Liquid... thanks for asking. It's definitely on my list. It won't help the current situation, but it will help me understand how to be in future relationships. I need to get more of a grasp right now on demise of my marriage and how it's going to effect me and my kids going forward. Also to keep peace in the house, while we all live together through this. Link to post Share on other sites
OceanBlue Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends By Bruce Fisher and Robert Alberti It was one of the best for me, as far as working through the whole process. Link to post Share on other sites
burnsrunner Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 I found the book easy to read and jam-packed with insights, information and guidance, the likes of which I have yet to see anywhere else. "Stop Fighting Over the Kids," by Mike Mastracci. Even professionals use this book. The one thing that I loved about is was, it gives lists of Do's and Don's at the end of most chapters that have become easy reference guides for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author greatdad Posted April 23, 2009 Author Share Posted April 23, 2009 I found the book easy to read and jam-packed with insights, information and guidance, the likes of which I have yet to see anywhere else. "Stop Fighting Over the Kids," by Mike Mastracci. Even professionals use this book. The one thing that I loved about is was, it gives lists of Do's and Don's at the end of most chapters that have become easy reference guides for me. Thank you. My STBX needs to read this one for sure! I won't fight over the kids, since their both of ours even after we split. She wants to move away with them and thinks it's OK, if that is what she wants! Argh.... Link to post Share on other sites
imagine Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 She wants to move away with them and thinks it's OK, if that is what she wants! Argh.... Don't know the details. Get a lawyer that will prevent this. Hopefully someone who knows what he is doing. Link to post Share on other sites
MaineBoy Posted April 24, 2009 Share Posted April 24, 2009 greatdad - I feel your pain. I had a similar exerience. I have read two books that really impressed me. Gary Chapman's book "The Five Love Languages" talks nicely about how we all give and recieve love in different ways. He breaks it down into five basic ways that people like to recieve and give love. Knowing your preferences and your mates can make a big difference. The other book was Dr. Gray's book "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus". Men and women have different communication styles and even the meaning of what they are saying with the same words can be different. I am sure there are many others, but I really thought these two stood out. Good luck. PS,, take some time to work on yourself, don't jump back into a relationship. As one of my favorite teachers Jim Rohn says "In order for things to change you need to change, in order for things to get better you need to get better". Link to post Share on other sites
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