violeta09 Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 12 days seems like a lifetime. 12 days without seeing him, smelling him, tasting him. No texting, no calling, nothing. Don't know how i'm going to keep doing it but I know I must. All I wanted was for him to show more interest than in just getting in my pants. I never asked for commitment or for him to leave his wife. He only gave me 10-15 at a time. I realize thats barely time for a quickie but I expected some emotion. We aren't animals that f__k void of any human feelings. What really hurts is that he would rather loose me than even talk about it. I think he was more interested in the chase. Once he got what he wanted and knew I was in love with him, he lost interest or I became scary or a threat to his marriage. I always told him I only wanted his affection. Sure I would have loved it if he played hookey some time to be with me but I always settled for less. Lately he had wanted to see me after work. Picked me up in his car. He wanted to put his hand in my pants while driving. He would only pull over for a BJ. I did what he asked never paying attention to how bad that made me feel. No kissing no touching just right to the point. NO FEELING. Of course he was the only one that had an orgasm. What I wouldn't have given for some tenderness!I had to stop the relationship, because it was leaving me with no self esteem. Many men find me attractive and even he said he thinks I'm beautiful. Maybe my being so accomodating turned him off. He has abandonment issues so I stuck it out for as long as I could. Didn't want to leave him. I was unhappy with him and without him I'm miserable. I will however stand my ground....I MUST.. One day at a time. Cold Turkey, one day at a time... Link to post Share on other sites
DJMarky Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 This guy has a wife, yet he is going round getting blowjobs and ****ing elsewhere, that right there is a red flag. I am sorry you got so involved with someone like that, but I feel even sorrier for his wife. Put yourself in her shoes. Link to post Share on other sites
fofiffs Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 Mark is right about this guy. He only used you to get what he wanted. He wanted nothing more from you than pleasure. Also he does have a wife, men like that aren't looking for a relationship. Just forget about this guy. Find someone who will love you for you not for what you can do for them.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author violeta09 Posted April 21, 2009 Author Share Posted April 21, 2009 your right,and now I've gone from sad to mad. half at him mostly with myself. This has been a major learning expierience. Link to post Share on other sites
Author violeta09 Posted April 21, 2009 Author Share Posted April 21, 2009 thanks for taking the time. Its quite clear that I was for entertainment purposes. never again will that bastard ever enjoy me!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 Good job Vilolet! 12 days is super. Your doing it and you can continue. It appears this guy used you so the heck with him. Stay strong.. and keep up with NC. Soon enough it will get better. Mea:) Link to post Share on other sites
Author violeta09 Posted April 23, 2009 Author Share Posted April 23, 2009 I really appreciate how supportive you always are. Thank you so much... Link to post Share on other sites
fofiffs Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Yeah screw that dude, you'll find some better that will love you for you. Use this as a lesson to never let anyone use you. I can relate because my ex used me till she got on her feet. Scums like that don't deserve good people like us. Link to post Share on other sites
Author violeta09 Posted April 23, 2009 Author Share Posted April 23, 2009 thanks for the support. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Scums like that don't deserve good people like us. She is married too and has a spouse of her own. Atleast that's what is said in another thread in the OW/OM section. Let this guy go and focus on fixing your own marriage. Or divorce so you can find happiness elsewhere. Link to post Share on other sites
Author violeta09 Posted April 23, 2009 Author Share Posted April 23, 2009 yes I'm married as well. I am focusing on my marriage. At least I have history with my hubby. This other guy awoke my sex drive so hubby is smiling from ear to ear. This married guy is out of the picture 4ever..... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 This other guy awoke my sex drive so hubby is smiling from ear to ear. Did you get checked for STD's? How do you think your husband would feel if he knew the truth of why you're so sexual now? It's ALL thanks to another man..NOT your husband. You don't seem too focussed on your marriage, considering you're still hurting and angry at the MM. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Many men find me attractive and even he said he thinks I'm beautiful. Maybe my being so accomodating turned him off. There is something wrong within you if you need validation from other men. Why isn't your husband enough? Have you thought about telling your husband the truth so he can decide if he wants to stay married to you? It seems you had your cake and ate it too - ALL on the expense of your poor unknowing husband. Link to post Share on other sites
Author violeta09 Posted April 23, 2009 Author Share Posted April 23, 2009 it must be great to be you and never to have made any errors. I'm healthy thank you and I did tell my husband. We had many problems and lived together as friends. Now we talked and are willing to try again. I make no excuses for getting involved with someone elses husband. If I have judgement coming to me karma will take care of it. I honestly fell in love with this man at a very dark time in my life. I hope you never walk in those shoes. Don't pass judgement least you be judged. Thanks for the support..... Link to post Share on other sites
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