Are we done or not?

[agaimgimp]

Hello Everyone Im a 39 year old male who has found a one in a lifetime friend and beautiful girl.

we have been together for 4 yrs.

our relationship has been very good in the begining but as time went on for me things got worse. I am in recovery from alcohol of 4 years. During this time we have enjoyed tremendous happiness Ive been so happy with this girl that ive had tears in my eyes not believing i could reach a height in my life like this.

but as things went i had a run in with gambling for a bit.

it messed things up caused frustartion and made me the worast idiot i could ever be it made my character defects that i worked so hard to overcome come right out.

well during this time.....

the story goes.

my girl also liked the casino to.

that didnt help.

but to the story we have split up.

she asked me to move.

i agreed with the fear of losing her because i work a different shift so we didnt see each other only on the weekends and in bed during the week. I worked and faought all i could to go on dayshift but i had to wait my turn like everybody else. well heres where it gets ****y one day she suddenly stops coming home from work and says she is working over i believe it and ask no further then pow i find out she is stepping out with friends and then whammo i find an email from a guy who is chatting with her telling her oh baby your warm kisses and hugs were so good. i lost it i was pissed i imediately confronted her and she told me that she was out and he popped a kiss on her lipps after everyone left the bar and it shocked her she told him she was unhappy with me and her and of course he said that he conveniently got over an unhappy divorce and to talk so she wound up in his truck swapping spit hell they even went out to dinner right down the road from were i work. who knows what they did? I cant help but think that they had sex if not the emotion and feelings were at least there my girl is a hotty. Im pissed because she should have told me the truth before doing this and i still love her dearly i pleaded on my knees to ask her to stay. we faught bad i tore up the roses i brought her and everything. then i seen a person come out of her i couldnt believe she was capapble of being she confesed of liking him and everything else. id love to kick his ass but he is garbage. i really dont know what to do i wanted to marry this girl i had a game plan in place and just needed time it was to quick i never had a chance. has my girl been planning things with this guy for awhile? i tell her to please come back hes not right for her but she moved out and i owe her money to i dont want to hold back money i owe but everytime i think of him and her having a good time on my paycheck i say hell no im not paying her crap untill i know shes alone or using it for what she needs. i know hes more fun because he drinks and goes to the bar she likes that probably. how can i get over her and leave her alone how do i know if she still loves me? what if she does come back should i take her back? ive been so torn up over my part and his not helping i feel we had a chance to repair the damage caused in our relationship untill he comes along of course she works with him in a shop. so i cant feel i can compete as i wont see her nearly as much as that ass will.

do you guys think shell dump him or he her? if he gets out of the picture i think i have a chance the more time goes by the better things get for me. I really found someone i wanna share my life with. How do i let my angel go? will she be back? she says she dont love him but wont say yes or no to loving me. i keep leaving stupid messages on her phone very unhealthy for me to do. someone help i need her back but not so soon we do need time apart. i will always love her. it hurts so bad.

[moimeme]

I hate not to be encouraging, but sometimes people don't have what it takes to last out rough periods, and it sounds like you've gone through some extremely rough times. Ideally, we'd all remain loyal and strong through trials, but in reality it can get too hard and people find they have to quit.

 

I'm afraid the outlook may not be good. It is very good that you are working on your issues and it is rough that you might lose this person because of them but don't let that stop you from continuing. We always think we'll never find someone as wonderful again. We usually find someone even better.

[tommyboy]

I read your story and identified with you completely. My issue is a bit different in longevity of the relationship, and the particular circumstances. But it doesn't really matter to either of us probably as we both feel like we had met the one that would complete us and then wham, they can't follow through with the feelings you could have sworn was as true in our hearts as it is in theirs. Its almost like they are unable to stand up to themselves and face whatever it is inside of them to be with us.

 

Unfortunately, I don't know if our letting go of what we both had will help either of us. It is so hard to try and carry on with life when your life as you basically always dreamed of and hoped for feels like it ended. Its like why look or be available to anyone else when you KNOW who "THE ONE" is.

 

I wanted to let you know your not the only one feeling the feelings you are and I am sure by my saying such is no consolation either, but just maybe some how the two of can figure out together what to do to get on with things and who knows what they may bring us one day?