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Should I give up?


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I’ve been living with my housemate for two years; during that time I thought we had become good friends. A year ago we started sleeping together in a completely non-romantic casual way with which we were both fine with. However because of this we started to have some more emotion based discussions, over the course of this year he has told me that he doesn’t really care about anyone, doesn’t like to be close to people and doesn’t care if he stays friends with me. His whole attitude is ‘I just do what I want regardless’ and ‘don’t take anything I say personally or seriously because it’s always a joke’.

He takes the piss out of me constantly, is quite rude to me and does things he know will wind me up – last week he removed me as a friend on facebook for no reason. It is incredibly immature and attention seeking, whilst he may be laughing I am not. I feel like he doesn’t respect or value me – that I am just a walking joke to him. He has always been anti-social and despite us having a lot of shared interests he actively avoids doing anything with me, he is very self-centred – the conversations we have are on his terms about him, he rarely shows an interest in mine or others lives. I have spoken to him about all of this and his reaction is always the same – either he shrugs and says 'don't take it personally' or ‘I’m joking’, and I believe him I am certain he doesn’t mean to hurt me but at the same time how can you have a friendship with someone who never sees it seriously?

 

We move out in a few months time and I’m struggling to decide what to do. Despite his annoyingness I enjoy his company, we have some excellent conversations and he means a lot to me. One part of me is very attached to him and doesn’t want to lose him from my life and the other is constantly pissed off with him and tired of playing the games. I don’t know whether I should try and keep his friendship or whether despite the pain in the short-term I should cut him off. I’ve never lost a friendship that I valued before and I feel it is a bit of failure to do so but I guess there has to be a point where you realise you are putting more in than you’re getting back?

 

We haven’t slept together in a few months now and although that is an element in our friendship I don’t think it has anything to do with what’s been happening.

 

Thanks for listening

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Island Girl
He takes the piss out of me constantly, is quite rude to me and does things he know will wind me up

 

I feel like he doesn’t respect or value me – that I am just a walking joke to him.

 

he actively avoids doing anything with me, he is very self-centred

 

the conversations we have are on his terms about him, he rarely shows an interest in mine or others lives.

 

 

Read your quotes from above.

 

Then, how do you feel about keeping someone like that around you in any capacity?

 

Because when I read them I thought I'd keep anyone like that FAR away from me and my life.

 

He sucks.

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