still trying to fix the porn issue I created - any ideas?

[taylor]

My husband works in management. He and his colleauges have to entertain out-of-town businessmen from time to time. Some come in from neighboring states. Some come in from overseas...Germany, China..etc.

 

It doesn't matter where they come from, their age, their marital status, or their profession...THE FIRST THING they want to do when out on the town is GO SEE NAKED WOMEN.

 

My husband said the married men are the most excited about it...the singles not as much. They act like they are going to Disney...hungry with anticipation.

 

But the protocol at my husband's place of employment is entertain with dinner and then cut them loose on their own. And most do find their way to the strip clubs on their own.

 

Do you think these men's wives are running to the nearest strip clubs for lap dances while their men are halfway around the world getting lap dances from naked women half their age?

 

If they were running out to get lap dances from naked men, how would their husbands feel about that? I could just hear the phone conversation:

 

Husband: Hi Honey. I"m at the strip club. This Double D just got done smashing her p**** in my crotch. I'm so horny right now. How are you?

 

Wife: Hi Honey. I'm so happy for you. Me and the girls are down at Mac's. Gotta go..."Big Dick" is naked and coming my way. Love ya.

[Jersey Shortie]

Wow, Taylor did a great job of explaining things.

 

Unfortunetly, I don't think it will draw men out to trying to understand or put themselves in women's shoes.

 

Apparently, as a woman, you just don't matter very much to a man. I wish that wasn't the message i was getting but time and time again, that proves to be how men see it. What matters is him and his sexual desires and needs.

 

 

She is saying that if she can practice self-control in getting her emotional needs met that he should be able to practice self-control in getting his sexual needs met.

 

Exactly, if I am able to use self control and not satisfy my needs as soon as i need it, why can't a man? Please answer me that Mr. Lucy. Why are you unable to use self control but women are expected to?

 

 

I don't think that a man's sexual needs can be equated to a woman's emotional needs.

 

A man's sexual needs are short-term, whereas a woman's emotional needs are more continuous.

 

Women have sexual needs and desires that are just as strong as mens, so they need both sexual and emotional needs met - whereas most men just need the sexual ones, granted there are some metro guys that need the emotional stuff too.

 

A man's seuxal needs are continuous too darling, I hate to tell you. Even after you satisfy a man, he will still need more again at some point. Just like a woman's emotional needs. And taylor explained the rest very well as far as men and emotional/sexual needs go. Regardless, are men unable to use self control? Or do they just not want to because *they* are what is most important in the relationship?

 

 

 

Well, in my case it's none of the above. My wife is simply 200 to 2000 miles away several times a year for weeks at a time. As I've said before, if it's a choice between sex with someone I love or a picture of sex, my preference - and that of most men - is clear.

 

Mr. Lucky

 

Actually, it's obviously not clear because here *you* are and here *we* are confused by what men do and what men tell us is true. they contradict each other. You claim you want one woman to care of and turn around and go and seek more. Would you be happy with masturbating to images of your wife naked while you were on these trips? You never answered the question about self control. Are you unable to use self control? Wouldn't looking at sexy images of your wife solve the issue of being able to masturbate to something that turns you on AND keeping yourself satisfied while your wife is away? Please don't ignore or gloss over these questions. You're answers woudl be helpful.

 

Do you think these men's wives are running to the nearest strip clubs for lap dances while their men are halfway around the world getting lap dances from naked women half their age?

 

Exactly, they are at home doing his damn laundry or whatever household chore needs to get done while he is allowed to run off and flirt and get excited over other women half their age. Why do you men even bother? Apparently women are pieces of crap to many men with no importance other then to be his entertaiment when he needs it. Even the women you choose to marry and pretend you want to be committed to. What the hell do you men want from women? You certainly don't want to respect us, or give us a fair chance, or show us you care. All the men out there married or committed running off to strip clubs for "business" or "bachelor parties" or to be with their "boys"....all the women out there that think their men give a damn about respecting them when what men care about is satisifying themselves first.

 

So yes Mr. Lucky, please preach on about how "clear" it is what men really want. Despite how many women on here express their concern, hurt and unresolved issues about the messages men give and the messages men "say" are true. Which do yo uthink is stronger? A man's word or his action?

Seriously, please tell me what you believe is going to have more affect? It's not his word when his actiosn prove to be so vastly different.

 

What is clear is that what most men seem to want is to have it both ways and not to be expected to use self control or act like men. Seems what men want is for their women to indulge them like school boys. Women matter very little. What is most important is men and their sexual desires. You don't deserve to have needs as a woman and yo udon't deserve to be treated with respect in the name of what a man "needs" to undulge in.

[Scottdmw]

Porn is a tough issue for men. It is addictive, just like drugs, or at least I find it so. I've spent the last 5 years trying to stay away both in and out of relationships and have mostly succeeded, but it's not easy. I do this so that if the day comes when I do get married, it will be easy for me to stay away then when it really counts.

 

The problem is men get into it when they are single because they think it's not hurting anyone, then they get married and find it's difficult to give up even when it does seem to be hurting someone.

 

Another part of the problem is our culture is very sexualized and soft porn is everywhere. It's a lot to ask of a man to say, "we're going to put pictures of half-naked women _everywhere_ to sell you things and juice up movies and TV, but you have to have self-control and not go look at the fully naked women". If women want to see a decrease in men's porn use I think they should encourage society as a whole to emphasize sex and nudity less.

 

Scott

[Jersey Shortie]

Porn is a tough issue for men. It is addictive, just like drugs, or at least I find it so. I've spent the last 5 years trying to stay away both in and out of relationships and have mostly succeeded, but it's not easy. I do this so that if the day comes when I do get married, it will be easy for me to stay away then when it really counts.

 

The problem is men get into it when they are single because they think it's not hurting anyone, then they get married and find it's difficult to give up even when it does seem to be hurting someone.

 

I think that's very true. Nice insight.

 

If women want to see a decrease in men's porn use I think they should encourage society as a whole to emphasize sex and nudity less.

 

Scott

 

So again, it's all women's responsiblity to have greater control and more morals while men do what? Sit back and whine about how tough it is to not look at porn and expect women to carry the load? Don't you think it would be more productive to include men to encourage themselves and each other to do their part? I am sorry but it's not just a matter of what women should be doing while you justify what men do. Men have a responsiblity themselves.

[taylor]

Another part of the problem is our culture is very sexualized and soft porn is everywhere. It's a lot to ask of a man to say, "we're going to put pictures of half-naked women _everywhere_ to sell you things and juice up movies and TV, but you have to have self-control and not go look at the fully naked women". If women want to see a decrease in men's porn use I think they should encourage society as a whole to emphasize sex and nudity less.

 

Scott

 

Sometimes I wonder if men really listen to what they are saying.

 

It's alot to ask of a man to have self-control?????

 

Why? Adults practice self-control every day. It's what being a mature adult is?

 

Why can't he practice self-control? Is someone holding a gun to his head telling him to do otherwise?

 

They don't practice self control because they don't want to...not because they can't.

 

Don't mean to pick on you, personally, Scott. It's just that men say this all the time, ad nauseum.

 

But tell me this, if your wife or gf did what men do...lose the self-control and indulge in porn, lap dances with naked men...how would you feel about it?

 

And could you accept her reasoning for it...I have a hard time with self-control.

[Mr. Lucky]

Would you be happy with masturbating to images of your wife naked while you were on these trips? You never answered the question about self control. Are you unable to use self control? Wouldn't looking at sexy images of your wife solve the issue of being able to masturbate to something that turns you on AND keeping yourself satisfied while your wife is away? Please don't ignore or gloss over these questions. You're answers woudl be helpful.

I won't ignore your questions Jersey, even though (and despite your obvious intelligence ) I don't think you process the answers outside your predetermined mind set and biases. If by "self-control" you mean abstain from masturbating in my wife's absence - why? Even at my current middle-aged state, I'm still very "ready" for her return. As I've said before, I'd much rather be with her than with the one-handed alternative.

 

If by "self-control", you mean limit my scope via sexy images of her, it's simply not an option for me as the pictures or videos are something she's not interested in doing. We've talked about it and she says it's a combination of her Catholic upbringing (two family members are nuns) and her fear that someone else would somehow see them. It strikes me as funny as she's not inhibited in other ways.

 

Every woman that I've been in a serious sexual relationship with has had the ability to close their eyes and, under the right conditions, bring themselves to orgasm. I envy them as that doesn't work for most men, me included. Vive la difference...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Scottdmw]

I think that's very true. Nice insight.

 

 

 

So again, it's all women's responsiblity to have greater control and more morals while men do what? Sit back and whine about how tough it is to not look at porn and expect women to carry the load? Don't you think it would be more productive to include men to encourage themselves and each other to do their part? I am sorry but it's not just a matter of what women should be doing while you justify what men do. Men have a responsiblity themselves.

 

Whoa there, I never said it was all women's responsibility. I just said this is something they could do to help the situation, if they wish.

 

Hopefully you can see that I'm trying to practice self-control and "do my part".

 

Scott

[Scottdmw]

Sometimes I wonder if men really listen to what they are saying.

 

It's alot to ask of a man to have self-control?????

 

Why? Adults practice self-control every day. It's what being a mature adult is?

 

Why can't he practice self-control? Is someone holding a gun to his head telling him to do otherwise?

 

They don't practice self control because they don't want to...not because they can't.

 

Don't mean to pick on you, personally, Scott. It's just that men say this all the time, ad nauseum.

 

But tell me this, if your wife or gf did what men do...lose the self-control and indulge in porn, lap dances with naked men...how would you feel about it?

 

And could you accept her reasoning for it...I have a hard time with self-control.

 

I'm not trying to defend men who lose self-control. Hopefully from my other statements you see I believe men _should_ exersize self-control, and that as a man I'm trying my hardest to avoid it even when I _really_ want to. It is a major effort and I'm not sure you appreciate that. For me it is much harder to avoid porn than it is, for example, to avoid eating that pint of ice cream. It is much easier to convince myself to do that needed exercise than it is to convince myself I need to stay away from porn.

 

I do think men are biologically more vulnurable to porn because they are more easily stimulated by visual cues, so it is harder for men than for women to exercise self-control in this area. Do you not think that's true?

 

I'm not asking for a get-out-of-jail-free card here. I'm suggesting that there are things we could do to make porn usage less prevalent.

 

Scott

[taylor]

For me it is much harder to avoid porn than it is, for example, to avoid eating that pint of ice cream.

 

I hear what you are saying Scott. But look at it this way for a moment.

 

If you had a pint of vanilla ice cream (porn) AND hot fudge sunday with whipped cream and a cherry on top (wife)....how hard would it be for you to choose the sunday over the vanilla ice cream. If your wife is A#1 in your book, how hard would it be to stay away from #2 (porn)?

 

qIt is much easier to convince myself to do that needed exercise than it is to convince myself I need to stay away from porn.

 

Maybe because there are bad consequences to not exercising (get fat, look bad, feel bad, poor health, can't get dates) but there are no bad consequences to looking at porn..except maybe listening to a wife's complaints about it which can be easily remedied by letting it go in one ear and out the other.

 

I know this is over the top, but bare with me on the analogy:

 

If a man could be arrested for looking at porn or if it was immediate grounds for divorce, do you think men would have an easier time practicing self-control?

 

 

I do think men are biologically more vulnurable to porn because they are more easily stimulated by visual cues, so it is harder for men than for women to exercise self-control in this area. Do you not think that's true?

 

I think porn is designed to make insecure men feel secure in their manhood. The porn industry preys on vulnerable men who can't practice self control.

 

Women have their vulnerabilities, too. Women are very insecure when it comes to body image. So what do the food and fitness industries do? They prey on vulnerable women, convincing them they need to drop 50 or 100 pounds, to be attractive. Who buys into all these diet pills, crash diets, and goofball exercise equipment but the weakest of the weak..the most desparate.

 

Same with porn.

 

If you are strong in your manhood, you can exercise self-control, regardless of the visual stimulation.

 

If I don't want to eat a pint of ice cream I don't buy it at the store.

 

Same with porn. If you don't want to look at it, don't buy it. Don't get in your car and drive to the strip club.

 

Out of sight. Out of mind. That's how you practice self-control.

[Scottdmw]

I hear what you are saying Scott. But look at it this way for a moment.

 

If you had a pint of vanilla ice cream (porn) AND hot fudge sunday with whipped cream and a cherry on top (wife)....how hard would it be for you to choose the sunday over the vanilla ice cream. If your wife is A#1 in your book, how hard would it be to stay away from #2 (porn)?

 

Agreed. It should be obvious that a man is going to be happier staying with his wife. Why do men fall away from that so often?

 

 

 

Maybe because there are bad consequences to not exercising (get fat, look bad, feel bad, poor health, can't get dates) but there are no bad consequences to looking at porn..except maybe listening to a wife's complaints about it which can be easily remedied by letting it go in one ear and out the other.

 

I know this is over the top, but bare with me on the analogy:

 

If a man could be arrested for looking at porn or if it was immediate grounds for divorce, do you think men would have an easier time practicing self-control?

 

I think porn is designed to make insecure men feel secure in their manhood. The porn industry preys on vulnerable men who can't practice self control.

 

Women have their vulnerabilities, too. Women are very insecure when it comes to body image. So what do the food and fitness industries do? They prey on vulnerable women, convincing them they need to drop 50 or 100 pounds, to be attractive. Who buys into all these diet pills, crash diets, and goofball exercise equipment but the weakest of the weak..the most desparate.

 

Same with porn.

 

If you are strong in your manhood, you can exercise self-control, regardless of the visual stimulation.

 

 

I am trying to agree with you--I'm not sure why you are arguing. Porn is bad stuff. Men should stay away for their own good and the good of the women they interact with. It sounds like you have personally been hurt in your experiences with men who use porn.

 

Remember, I'm one of the relatively few men at least on this board who really is going to agree with you about this. I'm trying to share with you that it's an issue I personally have a lot of trouble with. Your arguments about why you think it shouldn't be difficult are not going to help me the next time I'm tempted to look at porn.

 

 

 

If I don't want to eat a pint of ice cream I don't buy it at the store.

 

Same with porn. If you don't want to look at it, don't buy it. Don't get in your car and drive to the strip club.

 

Out of sight. Out of mind. That's how you practice self-control.

 

That was kind of my point--it's easier for men to practice self-control if porn is really out of sight. But, when soft porn is on the cover of Cosmo in every grocery store, and in many mainstream R-rated movies, not to mention at the click of a mouse on the computer, it's not quite so out of sight. If we reduced those temptations it might help.

 

Scott

[taylor]

Agreed. It should be obvious that a man is going to be happier staying with his wife. Why do men fall away from that so often?

I am trying to agree with you--I'm not sure why you are arguing. Porn is bad stuff. Men should stay away for their own good and the good of the women they interact with. It sounds like you have personally been hurt in your experiences with men who use porn.

Remember, I'm one of the relatively few men at least on this board who really is going to agree with you about this. I'm trying to share with you that it's an issue I personally have a lot of trouble with. Your arguments about why you think it shouldn't be difficult are not going to help me the next time I'm tempted to look at porn.

That was kind of my point--it's easier for men to practice self-control if porn is really out of sight. But, when soft porn is on the cover of Cosmo in every grocery store, and in many mainstream R-rated movies, not to mention at the click of a mouse on the computer, it's not quite so out of sight. If we reduced those temptations it might help.

Scott

 

I apologize, Scott, for coming off argumentative. Not meaning to. I do appreciate your thoughtful posts and your ability to see the other side of the porn issue. It is the rare (and might I add, the mature man) that can do this. No wish to alienate you ...please.

 

Never been hurt by porn...like I said, it really does not affect my personal life in any way. If I project, again, I apologize.

 

I guess I do get fired up about it sometimes, though, because I can truly empathize with women who do have to deal with porn in their daily lives. Actually, I empathize with all women who struggle with self-image which is perhaps the REAL issue here. I don't think women would be half as sensitive to the porn issue if men were focusing their attention on old, ugly or fat women.

 

But society will never change.

 

12 year old boys will continue to hide the playboy magazines between the mattresses and 12 year old girls will continue to gaze in the mirror trying to figure out how to make herself physically attractive.

 

So, you are right. The day our society, men and women, no longer exalts the virtues of physical beauty, is the day the porn issue will become a moot point.

 

But, like I said, this will never happen.

 

******

 

And yes, I agree with you that men's weakness for visual stimulation makes porn a nearly irresistable commodity. And having it so easily available...at the click of a mouse...and in such surplus...makes it difficult for even the most disciplined guy to refrain from. Add peer pressure to that as well. So yes, I can see your point on self-control. Society does not make it easy to practice.

 

The same can be said for other addictions so prevalent in our society, don't you think? How hard is it for an alcoholic to refrain when alcohol is available everywhere you turn. New casinos are being built every day for the gamblers' pleasure. And 10 year olds can buy drugs at school.

 

I think the only addiction that seems to be hit hard by society's new attitudes is cigarette smoking..the ban in public places and workplaces, the medical costs of failing health, the new treatments to kick the habit, and the exhorbitant, prohibitive costs to purchase a carton I think have all played a role in reducing the power of this temptation.

 

It will be many years before society tries to dampen the powerful temptation of porn. It's bringing in too much money now and the real cost to society has yet to be felt.

[Jersey Shortie]

I won't ignore your questions Jersey, even though (and despite your obvious intelligence ) I don't think you process the answers outside your predetermined mind set and biases.

 

 

That's okay, I don't think you process the answers outside your own predetermined mind set and biases.

 

If by "self-control" you mean abstain from masturbating in my wife's absence - why?

 

That's the core of the problem. Men don't think they need to deny, control , or work on themselves when it comes to sexual temptations, visual or otherwise. We live in a world that excuses male desires and one that tells women to control theirs.

 

 

 

If by "self-control", you mean limit my scope via sexy images of her, it's simply not an option for me as the pictures or videos are something she's not interested in doing.

 

 

But what if it was? Would that be enough for you? If your wife is as great and better as you say she is, could you be happy with the images of her and not need to seek out other porn?

 

Every woman that I've been in a serious sexual relationship with has had the ability to close their eyes and, under the right conditions, bring themselves to orgasm. I envy them as that doesn't work for most men, me included. Vive la difference...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

And it's been proven that women are more prone to want to include their mate in that fantasy. Women fantasize about their partners an things they could do with them. While men rather shove their mates out the door because nothing beats something newer and fresher. It's better to be the fantasy with men then the reality.

[Mr. Lucky]

And it's been proven that women are more prone to want to include their mate in that fantasy. Women fantasize about their partners an things they could do with them. While men rather shove their mates out the door because nothing beats something newer and fresher. It's better to be the fantasy with men then the reality.

Which circles back to your consistent underlying premise - that something about the male nature is (in your mind) inherently evil, dark and debased. As opposed to women, you pose that we are weak, selfish and self-centered in our thoughts and actions.

 

It's too bad that, heterosexually speaking, you're stuck with us ...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Jersey Shortie]

Which circles back to your consistent underlying premise - that something about the male nature is (in your mind) inherently evil, dark and debased. As opposed to women, you pose that we are weak, selfish and self-centered in our thoughts and actions.

 

It's too bad that, heterosexually speaking, you're stuck with us ...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

 

 

Actually Mr. Lucky, that's YOUR consistent underlying premise. Not mine. I never once said anything that siad men were dark, evil and debased and women were perfect. You said it.

 

I DO think men are weak, selfish and self -centered WHEN it comes to things like porn and strip clubs. But I also think men have the wonderful compacity to be SO MUCH better then they are in this day and age. I don't know but it seems to me that alot of men are just passive and passionless. Rather retreat behind their computers to feel something that isn't really all that passionate to begin with.

 

Come on, be realistic please. Porn doesn't require anything of a guy. It doesn't require that a man be a man while it makes him feel like one. Being able recgonize the poor things each gender does is a FAR cry in saying they are evil. :confused:It seems to me that you are unable to have a discussion being realistic about male issues and female issues. There are many things I think women could do better in their personal relationships as well and many things I think women do that ares selfish. But I TRY not to do them. Men seem to not care that they do them.

[Els]

I know I'm sorta bumbling into the middle here but...

 

Don't you guys think that all this porn issue would be solved if people would:

 

1. Agree that each relationship is unique and look for what works for them and not project onto what ALL men or ALL women should do, and

2. Work out a compromise on BOTH sides?

 

For example, if there is a man who watches a non-excessive amount of porn and the woman doesn't like it, then they could talk about it and the woman might agree to be more open-minded to it while the man agrees to only view it when she's unavailable/not in the mood for sex. Otherwise he will have sex with her instead.

 

Seems easy to me.

[Jersey Shortie]

What exactly is he compromising on by that situation???? He still gets porn and her. He gets to have his cake and eat it too. Who cares what the woman wants? Men certainly don't really seem to. It always comes down to how the porn seems to be just as important or more so to men because men are willing to give up relationships for it apparently.

[Els]

Both are compromising because they're meeting halfway.

 

It would be akin to him not liking her girl-nights-out to the bar, and her compromising by limiting them to a couple of times a month or bringing him along once or twice if he wants to.

 

It would be different for each relationship, of course.

[Brulee]

He told me that it is non of my business what he chooses to look at. As a matter of fact we are most likely going to split. He cannot handle me telling him what to do - he has a chip on his shoulder.

 

I spoke with another man about this subject, yes he is interested, so maybe he lied about his opinion. He told me that he thinks porn hurts a relationship -that a man will not be satisfied with his mate if he is looking at porn, always comparing. That love should mean a lot more, that a man should cherish his woman. That no woman can compare physically to 20 years olds when they are mid forties. He said that neither can a man in his 40's. He said that men should look at the 20 years olds as if they were his daughters.

 

(I wonder is he was pulling the wool over my eyes, because he has an interest in me.)

 

In the heat of the porn argument, my man told me I should leave and get my things out of his house - that he does not love me, but he loves one of my dogs, and that he is going to go away by himself for a week. It hurt really, really badly. I do not know if he was just so angry that I was trying tell him what to do (he has a big issue with "nobody tells me what to do)., or if he really means he does not love me.

[Brulee]

I told him that I still love him, and that is not what I want to happen. I do not know if he is really leaving me or not at this point. But if he does go away for a week (he said he was thinking of doing this), or if he does tell me tonight to really get my things out of his house, I will be broken.

[Juniper22]

He told me that it is non of my business what he chooses to look at. As a matter of fact we are most likely going to split. He cannot handle me telling him what to do - he has a chip on his shoulder.

 

I spoke with another man about this subject, yes he is interested, so maybe he lied about his opinion. He told me that he thinks porn hurts a relationship -that a man will not be satisfied with his mate if he is looking at porn, always comparing. That love should mean a lot more, that a man should cherish his woman. That no woman can compare physically to 20 years olds when they are mid forties. He said that neither can a man in his 40's. He said that men should look at the 20 years olds as if they were his daughters.

 

(I wonder is he was pulling the wool over my eyes, because he has an interest in me.)

 

In the heat of the porn argument, my man told me I should leave and get my things out of his house - that he does not love me, but he loves one of my dogs, and that he is going to go away by himself for a week. It hurt really, really badly. I do not know if he was just so angry that I was trying tell him what to do (he has a big issue with "nobody tells me what to do)., or if he really means he does not love me.

 

Wow I'm sorry he is upset that you have an opinon about the porn and wants you to leave over it. Maybe its what you should do. Tell him see ya and enjoy your life with the computer screen. I think it goes way deeper than the porn, especially with him wanting you to leave.

[blair08]

"My man told me I should leave and get my things out of his house."

 

"that he does not love me, and is going away for a week by himself."

 

This is NOT about porn, just a symptom of a bigger issue. I think everything he said to you above should speak volumes, way more so than the porn he is watching. Sorry, but I have to wonder, if he is really going away for a week BY HIMSELF.

[Mr. Lucky]

I know I'm sorta bumbling into the middle here but...

 

Don't you guys think that all this porn issue would be solved if people would:

 

1. Agree that each relationship is unique and look for what works for them and not project onto what ALL men or ALL women should do, and

2. Work out a compromise on BOTH sides?

 

For example, if there is a man who watches a non-excessive amount of porn and the woman doesn't like it, then they could talk about it and the woman might agree to be more open-minded to it while the man agrees to only view it when she's unavailable/not in the mood for sex. Otherwise he will have sex with her instead.

 

Seems easy to me.

Makes perfect sense. I think this how the vasy majority of reasonable couples handle most things, porn included...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Mr. Lucky]

In the heat of the porn argument, my man told me I should leave and get my things out of his house - that he does not love me, but he loves one of my dogs, and that he is going to go away by himself for a week. It hurt really, really badly. I do not know if he was just so angry that I was trying tell him what to do (he has a big issue with "nobody tells me what to do)., or if he really means he does not love me.

Doesn't his approach seem a little extreme and a lot manipulative? Seems like all he has to do is play the "split" card to get his way. If you give in here, hard to see how your relationship will ever be between equals.

 

Regardless Brulee, if porn is such a dealbreaker for you, wouldn't you be happier in a "porn free" relationship with someone that feels the same way you do about it ???

 

Mr. Lucky

[Jersey Shortie]

Makes perfect sense. I think this how the vasy majority of reasonable couples handle most things, porn included...

 

Mr. Lucky

 

Mr. Lucky, I hate to tell you but you aren't even resonable when it comes to this topic. You, like most men, just care about still being able to have porn in your lives because that's what is important to you. Regardless of what your partner does for you. As long as you have some amount of porn in your life, then your obviously happy.

 

By the way, you always back out of the discussion when it gets too difficult for you and comment on something much easier for you to reasonate with.

[taylor]

Brulee,

 

I agree with Blair08. Sounds like something more is going on.

 

Aside from the porn issue, how is the rest of your relationship?

 

Him telling you he doesn't love you and to pack your bags..well, that's not a good sign...unless he is just extemely childish and melodramatic when it comes to conflict.

 

Where is he going for a week?