still trying to fix the porn issue I created - any ideas?

[Mr. Lucky]

By the way, you always back out of the discussion when it gets too difficult for you and comment on something much easier for you to reasonate with.

What good does it do to argue with you, Jersey? I'm not going to change your mind and you're not going to change mine. Every honest answer I give to one of your posts just invites another lecture on porn=bad, men=porn so men=bad. I understand how you feel and certainly respect your right to be in a relationship that honors those convictions.

 

What I don't understand is why you don't extend the same respect to other posters, me included? Is that enough "reasonate"ing ...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Jersey Shortie]

Well at the end of the day it's a guys world and it's obvious that women are expected to make more consessions then men expect of themselves.

[Mr. Lucky]

Well at the end of the day it's a guys world

In a number of ways, I think you're right. But since I don't like your chances of changing the world, why not focus on setting boundaries that you're comfortable with in your own relationships? Certainly your right to do so...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Jersey Shortie]

Of course I am right. Men don't give a damn as long as they get theirs and screw the women in their lives.

 

Mr. Lucky, if we all did as you prescribed, change would never be made and we would live in a pretty passionless state of mind. Perhaps you are okay with the status que.

[Mr. Lucky]

Men don't give a damn as long as they get theirs and screw the women in their lives.

Interesting that you took exception before when I pointed out that you seem to have disdain for the whole male gender.

 

Perhaps you are okay with the status que.

I guess in this case I am. Porn, like other adult pleasures, is available to consenting adults. Like other grown-up activities - sex, drinking, gambling, etc. - the potential for harm is there. Each person has his or her own decisions to make for both themselves and their partner. I try to understand if others - like you, for instance - make choices different than me as your circumstances, feelings and attitudes might be different. That's what makes the world go round...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Jersey Shortie]

Interesting that you took exception before when I pointed out that you seem to have disdain for the whole male gender.

 

It's not disdain. It's the carelessness that seems to be part of many men out there. Even when i said that it seems to be a man's world you sort of figuratively shrugged your shoulders and agreed. I don't think most men care about giving women in general what they need.

 

 

I guess in this case I am. Porn, like other adult pleasures, is available to consenting adults. Like other grown-up activities - sex, drinking, gambling, etc. - the potential for harm is there.

 

Except in sex , drinking and gambling you are only doing yourself in. Those industries aren't creating stereotypes for one gender over the other. Those industries arne't refering to women in 4 letter words. Those industries don't take the fundemental ways men adn women interact with each other to the extremes. That's why you don't get post after post after post about drinking and gambling that you do porn.

[a4a]

It's not disdain. It's the carelessness that seems to be part of many men out there. Even when i said that it seems to be a man's world you sort of figuratively shrugged your shoulders and agreed. I don't think most men care about giving women in general what they need.

 

 

 

 

Except in sex , drinking and gambling you are only doing yourself in. Those industries aren't creating stereotypes for one gender over the other. Those industries arne't refering to women in 4 letter words. Those industries don't take the fundemental ways men adn women interact with each other to the extremes. That's why you don't get post after post after post about drinking and gambling that you do porn.

 

I think companies like Disney create just as many gender negative stereotypes as porn does.

 

As for porn I don't see all of it demeaning to women. I mean I have seen some Dom's do some interesting things to men in porn.

[Jersey Shortie]

I think companies like Disney create just as many gender negative stereotypes as porn does.

 

And what would those be?

 

Sorry, but while girls grow up with Disney, boys grow up with G.I Joe, batman...superman, or the likes of that. I don't see you pointing out the reprocusions of boys having a hero in G.I Joe.

 

 

As for porn I don't see all of it demeaning to women. I mean I have seen some Dom's do some interesting things to men in porn.

 

No doubt but that's hardly the norm. More times then not it's the women put in a position to be domianted over.

[soserious1]

The woman you've already succeeded in bedding will never be as exciting as the

visions of those you haven't. Wives and g/friends can be useful, after all somebody's got to clean, cook and chase after the rug rats and if she also works full time even better. When it comes to passion and real sizzling sexual excitement though.. wives and long term girl friends get a big thumbs down.

[a4a]

And what would those be?

 

Sorry, but while girls grow up with Disney, boys grow up with G.I Joe, batman...superman, or the likes of that. I don't see you pointing out the reprocusions of boys having a hero in G.I Joe.

 

 

 

 

No doubt but that's hardly the norm. More times then not it's the women put in a position to be domianted over.

 

Shrek... cute story... thought it was hilarious. But the princess was little more than a commodity..... waiting around for prince charming to rescue her then to be traded off to a short guy with some issues.

 

Madagascar - the main female role was a hippo.

 

Any save the poor weak female waiting around for a "man" to save her.... both boys and girls watch these movies.

 

and some women love to be dominated in the bedroom and watch that type of porn. It is fantasy. I am not sure why some people can't draw the line there when it comes to sitting in judgement. Cripes most guys have issues handling 1 woman in bed... if the maid joined in he would be finished in 30 seconds....

 

Porn is fantasy on film...... I have yet to screw the UPS man.

[a4a]

The woman you've already succeeded in bedding will never be as exciting as the

visions of those you haven't. Wives and g/friends can be useful, after all somebody's got to clean, cook and chase after the rug rats and if she also works full time even better. When it comes to passion and real sizzling sexual excitement though.. wives and long term girl friends get a big thumbs down.

 

FANTASY!!

 

Like you will ever stumble across a group of size 4, bisexual, 19 year old campfire girls wearing heels and stocking in the wilderness and just needing to please you!

 

But it is a fun, exciting and of course entertaining thought isn't it.

[Jersey Shortie]

Shrek... cute story... thought it was hilarious. But the princess was little more than a commodity..... waiting around for prince charming to rescue her then to be traded off to a short guy with some issues.

 

And in the end discovered her real beauty and came off pretty strong throughout the whole movie.

 

Madagascar - the main female role was a hippo.

 

And there was a zebra..that must have been a political commentary on black people and white people.

 

 

Any save the poor weak female waiting around for a "man" to save her.... both boys and girls watch these movies.

 

Little girls play dress up for a reason. Little boys play cops and robbers for a reason. I am not saying that little girls can't enjoy cops and robbers but I think you are forgetting fundemental girl/boy interests. Comparing a female hippo to calling women sluts and whores in porn is ludicris.

 

 

 

 

and some women love to be dominated in the bedroom and watch that type of porn. It is fantasy. I am not sure why some people can't draw the line there when it comes to sitting in judgement. Cripes most guys have issues handling 1 woman in bed... if the maid joined in he would be finished in 30 seconds....

 

What does it matter how fast a man would finish in a threesome situation? How does this have anything to do with what we were talking about? I am seriously lost at what you are trying to get out.

 

The point remains. Most men is pretty degrading to women. No man would ever want a woman he cared about in one but is perfectly happy is using a porn film to get off to women being used. Saying that something is "fantasy", no matter how many times you say, doesn't dissproves these ideas.

 

FANTASY!!

 

Like you will ever stumble across a group of size 4, bisexual, 19 year old campfire girls wearing heels and stocking in the wilderness and just needing to please you!

 

But it is a fun, exciting and of course entertaining thought isn't it.

 

Sure...it's entertaining to the middle aged guy with the 40 year old wife becuase that's what he really wants. Screw the 40 year old wife that stood by his side. It doesn't matter if he ever comes across this "scenerio" or not. making that point yo udid above is like saying that the only reason a man wouldn't get in trouble is by default of not encountering it. How you think that makes your argument look any more promising is beyond me.

[a4a]

A man couldn't handle the majority of porn scenarios..... it is fantasy.

 

As for degrading women... porn is not the only thing that does that. Of course depending on what view you take.

 

How often do you see a cleaning product company uses a male to push the product? Only women clean and should clean toilets!

 

Hell tampon ads and birth control ads are demeaning. All chicks have PMS so take this pill.

 

Porn is fantasy. I would much rather have a husband who watches and enjoys porn than one that watches and enjoys my neighbor.

 

I watch porn myself. My H doesn't unless I instigate it.... and most of the time he is a pain in my ass (not a real pain like anal sex) making fun of the porn. He ruins it for me.

[Jersey Shortie]

Really, who care if he could handle the scene or not. That has absolutely nothing to do with the topic at hand. You aren't doing men a great service with that comment anyway. It's like saying by default of his own inability to handle what he truly wants, is the only reason he could hold back from actually getting it.

 

And of course porn isn't the only thing that degrades women. But I don't see cleaning ads calling women sluts while men masturabate over it. Or requiring that the woman cleaning shuld be 18 with implants.

 

If our only choices as a women are 1) looks at porn and thinks about banging other chicks 2) actually does bang other chicks, then I would say that's sad and that I am not the one with the low opinion of men. A person that thinks that's all a man is capable of does though.

[annieo]

[quote=Jersey Shortie;2161147

If our only choices as a women are 1) looks at porn and thinks about banging other chicks 2) actually does bang other chicks, then I would say that's sad and that I am not the one with the low opinion of men. A person that thinks that's all a man is capable of does though.

 

I agree with some of what you have been saying, here and on other threads, however, this last part trips me up.

 

While I don't adore the idea that my husband undoubtably fantasizes about other women (either via porn or via his own imagination), I can't really get all that upset about what goes on in his head because I also fantasize about men other than my h. It doesn't mean I am going to go out and do it, or that I am unhappy with our sexual relationship. It just keeps things interesting in my head. I assume the same is true for most reasonable, emotionally healthy men who are happily partnered.

 

What he actually DOES is another matter (as I have mentioned before, in terms of strip clubs). But as for his thoughts, well, they are his property, as are mine. No matter how upright, faithful and perfect someone may be (or seem to be), you have to accept the fact that you will never really know what they are thinking about. And nor should you. Their behavior is all that really matters.

[Jersey Shortie]

But I am not demanding to know what they are thinking about or that I don't expect it will happen. What I would like to see more of is self control in these releams. I am not demanding perfection but I think too many men justify any behavior because of their sexuality and frankly, I find it crappy.

 

If your a man that chooses to be in a relationship, then really learn to be engaged in the relationship instead of focusing on all the things you don't have. That's really a problem with America all around.