Scorpio13c Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 For all you hurting souls, post here why you feel you will never be happy again since your breakup. I propose you WILL feel better & think that other "Lsrs" will tell you the same. It just needs time... ) Scorp Link to post Share on other sites
Peter_pan Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 why? because the person you lost your virginity to is now with a new guy. and what you had is forever gone. what if you never meet some one you regard as better Link to post Share on other sites
Author Scorpio13c Posted April 22, 2009 Author Share Posted April 22, 2009 why? because the person you lost your virginity to is now with a new guy. and what you had is forever gone. what if you never meet some one you regard as better That's the reality we all live with. Link to post Share on other sites
BW007 Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 Really? You are really mourning your lost virginity? C'mon. Maybe it wasn't the right guy forever and ever, but at least you experienced being a sexual person.It is just part of adult life. To beat on yourself for lost virginity is just not worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
BW007 Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 Whoops, sorry, thought you were a girl....my bad. Dude congratulations, you are a non-virgin! Link to post Share on other sites
vessv6l Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 The way she put on a cute face and snuggle into me, the way see would look at my with her eyes, the way she seemed so devoted to me, the amount of things we had in common, the way we seemed to share thoughts, how she used to be so happy to see me at anytime, you get the idea. Dont think ill find those things in another person Link to post Share on other sites
Dreaming69 Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 I hear what yr saying vessv6l, same for me as well. I could nearly melt evertime I looked at her, they was she adored me. It felt so natural when we were together. Waking up next to her put a smile a mile wide on my face, and the fact I've never felt love for any other girl as much as I did this one... And it kills me everytime I think I can never be by her side again... Now I've been through some breakups in my time and I've gotten over all of them no problem, but I tell you, this one I'm not so sure about. I thought she was the one, and I hate that!.. Why are we still not together?? cause I think the universe is just F***ING with me!!... I truly beleive the chances of finding what I had with my ex are so slim that it won't happen, not that I wont be back out there having a major crack at it!...Im not trying to sound negative, but holy ****, people like this just dont come along every day that have that sort of impact on you. It crazy,.. to love like that and lose it hurts so bad ! Link to post Share on other sites
vessv6l Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 Yea dreaming69, spot on, Exactly the same with me. I though we would grow old together. never for a second thought i would be here looking back Link to post Share on other sites
DJMarky Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 I hear what yr saying vessv6l, same for me as well. I could nearly melt evertime I looked at her, they was she adored me. It felt so natural when we were together. Waking up next to her put a smile a mile wide on my face, and the fact I've never felt love for any other girl as much as I did this one... And it kills me everytime I think I can never be by her side again... Now I've been through some breakups in my time and I've gotten over all of them no problem, but I tell you, this one I'm not so sure about. I thought she was the one, and I hate that!.. Why are we still not together?? cause I think the universe is just F***ING with me!!... I truly beleive the chances of finding what I had with my ex are so slim that it won't happen, not that I wont be back out there having a major crack at it!...Im not trying to sound negative, but holy ****, people like this just dont come along every day that have that sort of impact on you. It crazy,.. to love like that and lose it hurts so bad ! Sounds like I wrote it myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Peter_pan Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 lol so the conclusion is that we will never get over them! or if we do, we wont find anyone better. great ! now i can sleep at night... Link to post Share on other sites
PinkRibbon Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 I loved it when he would pat my leg when we were on the motorcycle. I had been in a wreck before and it still kinda scares me and he could feel when I tensed up and he always would pat and rub the side of my left leg. Always made me feel instantly better for some weird reason. He would sit and play on the laptop and rub my legs at the same time while I would read a book or watch a tv show. I couldn't wait to get home everyday to see him and I would wait for our first phone call of the day. And I believed and trusted him enough to think we would be forever together regardless of anything. I was wrong. I trusted him enough to argure with him about something (our one of 3 arguments in our relationship) and he left because of an argument. No cheating, no lying he just left. My daughter trusted him. He would take her to school sometimes and get her McDonalds on the way and she would text him and ask could he get her so she could be a car rider and he would then take her for egg rolls. He was really great and he left us for a silly silly argument! Link to post Share on other sites
PinkRibbon Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 lol so the conclusion is that we will never get over them! or if we do, we wont find anyone better. great ! now i can sleep at night... Lots and lots of Ambien!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Chinook Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 For all you hurting souls, post here why you feel you will never be happy again since your breakup. I propose you WILL feel better & think that other "Lsrs" will tell you the same. It just needs time... ) ScorpActually Scorpio, whilst I am in agreement with you, I don't think this is appropriate in the coping forum. A lot of people unfortunately cannot cope that well in the initial stages of a breakup and they find it very very difficult to see beyond the immediate situation. It is simply impossible to see six months down the road to that sunny day when you feel better/happier. A lot of people can only deal with their emotions 'in the moment' and those fluctuate wildly... so whilst I understand what you posted and I think it's brightly optimistic, I also think it is unfair to try to hammer it home to people who are trying to get by. Just my 2p. Link to post Share on other sites
TheBigCow Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 Okay guys I'm in a similar situation. Some of you might have read my post a little while ago but the general gist is that girlfriend I'm madly in love with completely out of the blue with no warning leaves me for another guy after 5 1/2 years. I'm still burning really hard like you guys and I think the answer to all this might be a little bit more depressing than we would like it to be. Keep in mind I'm having one of those days where I don't feel almost suicidally depressed, so it might be hard to swallow my optimism. We would all like to think "you'll find someone much better who you will love much more" or "you deserved may better, you're better off without her!", but in reality this might not be true. Maybe we will never find something better and maybe we just had the happiest times of our lives... but if that really is the case then you must have been pretty happy with this girl.. and so be thankful for the time you did have! Personally I think the key is (and you can disagree if you like) acceptance. Accept that maybe you will never have anything better. Its really horrible to consider that possibility but in the back of your mind you know its just that, a possibility. But this doesn't mean you can't be happy. No one feels sorry for the rich family who looses their fortune to be brought down to a middle class family, we expect them to accept it and just alter their expectations of life and be happy without what they have.. we can do the same. The thing I'm trying to get across is if you try and appreciate and be content with what you do have then you can be happy even knowing the things could be better. Still, I'm not saying this is an immediate fix, the loss is quite unbearable to deal with and I'm still in tears often asking myself where I went wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Chinook Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 TBC, acceptance takes some time to come. It does come in the end. It comes at the end of the grieving process. Once people understand their grief and understand what is happening to them and can make sense of the situation, acceptance is a lot easier. Happiness also follows shortly afterwards. Link to post Share on other sites
TheBigCow Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 I'm no way near there really... but knowing that acceptance is the goal at least gives me something to try and gear my thoughts towards when I'm feeling positive enough to control my thoughts. Link to post Share on other sites
Chinook Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 Same here my friend. Unfortunately, I'm in no mans numbland where my thoughts desert me on a regular basis... self-protection I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 TBC, acceptance takes some time to come. It does come in the end. It comes at the end of the grieving process. Once people understand their grief and understand what is happening to them and can make sense of the situation, acceptance is a lot easier. Happiness also follows shortly afterwards. So very true Chinook. Great post! Mea;) Link to post Share on other sites
EmperorR Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 I've been through this before so I know it does get better, but the process is long tedious and it sucks. I'm still clinging to false hope using nc to get her back bla bla, then I will fade into doing NC for me, then I will get angry at her dumping me, then I'll accept it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Scorpio13c Posted April 23, 2009 Author Share Posted April 23, 2009 I've been through this before so I know it does get better, but the process is long tedious and it sucks. I'm still clinging to false hope using nc to get her back bla bla, then I will fade into doing NC for me, then I will get angry at her dumping me, then I'll accept it. This is one reason i posted this thread. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Scorpio13c Posted April 23, 2009 Author Share Posted April 23, 2009 TBC, acceptance takes some time to come. It does come in the end. It comes at the end of the grieving process. Once people understand their grief and understand what is happening to them and can make sense of the situation, acceptance is a lot easier. Happiness also follows shortly afterwards. This is another reason why i posted this thread. Thanks Chinook, you to will be fine! Scorp Link to post Share on other sites
Dreaming69 Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Im still going through the grieving process, like I never have before, and I have to say it has felt like hell on Earth and that it will never end. I honestly feel like a broken man right now. I have literally freaked my family at my erratic behaviour and wanting to isolate myself fromt he world. All while yr ex is no doubt enjoying their new love interest, which in some way is what I find the hardest to accept. I'm just proud of the fact i managed to conceal from her how bad I actually am. I certainly hope I can come out the other side as alot of people on here say they do. From reading so many posts on here alot of people have been through worse than myself, and I don't know how some of them did it!.. certainly some strong souls out there to gain inspiration from! Link to post Share on other sites
stace79 Posted April 27, 2009 Share Posted April 27, 2009 I will tell you all why we will be better off. Because some day, whether you want to accept it or not, you will realize that the best person for you is one who doesn't hurt you or leave you. You are better off because, if you open your eyes and heart to see it, you will learn things about yourself during these imperfect relationships. And these things help you to become a better person for "the one". We all want to be loved by somebody so badly that a lot of times -- myself included -- we haven't cared if it was the RIGHT person loving us; the person who would love us as much as we loved them; the person who would treat us at least as good as we treated them, if not better. I spent three years of my life chasing after someone who never really made me that happy. I ignored my true personality to suit what he wanted, because I thought he was the only one who'd ever really love me. But even if he were the only one to ever love me, I was still miserable! Some of us learn independence early on, even in the teen years. Some of us it takes well into our 30s or 40s. Some of us have a failed marriage or two, or children. Eventually though you have to learn that a person who doesn't love you fully is not worth crying over or beating yourself up mentally for. You have to learn to sit with the pain, because it won't just go away. But then you have to learn to be happy with your own life, minus anyone else. Because that's really all you have to count on. Link to post Share on other sites
BillClam Posted April 28, 2009 Share Posted April 28, 2009 Edit. 'Net is being wacky, will finish later Link to post Share on other sites
Sam Spade Posted April 29, 2009 Share Posted April 29, 2009 Okay guys I'm in a similar situation. Some of you might have read my post a little while ago but the general gist is that girlfriend I'm madly in love with completely out of the blue with no warning leaves me for another guy after 5 1/2 years. I'm still burning really hard like you guys and I think the answer to all this might be a little bit more depressing than we would like it to be. Keep in mind I'm having one of those days where I don't feel almost suicidally depressed, so it might be hard to swallow my optimism. We would all like to think "you'll find someone much better who you will love much more" or "you deserved may better, you're better off without her!", but in reality this might not be true. Maybe we will never find something better and maybe we just had the happiest times of our lives... but if that really is the case then you must have been pretty happy with this girl.. and so be thankful for the time you did have! Personally I think the key is (and you can disagree if you like) acceptance. Accept that maybe you will never have anything better. Its really horrible to consider that possibility but in the back of your mind you know its just that, a possibility. But this doesn't mean you can't be happy. No one feels sorry for the rich family who looses their fortune to be brought down to a middle class family, we expect them to accept it and just alter their expectations of life and be happy without what they have.. we can do the same. The thing I'm trying to get across is if you try and appreciate and be content with what you do have then you can be happy even knowing the things could be better. Still, I'm not saying this is an immediate fix, the loss is quite unbearable to deal with and I'm still in tears often asking myself where I went wrong. I like that a lot. Moreover, "somebody better" is basically impossible concept, since you can't compare people on a continuum, they're just qualitatively different. So you can be happy, it just won't be the same. If so, whether you feel that it's not as good is almost moot. It's just so different. I think continually adjusting your expectations is key. Link to post Share on other sites
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