yes Posted October 18, 2003 Share Posted October 18, 2003 I think I posted here about the discussion I had with my parents regarding their parenting (i was criticizing their overparenting - not even aiming to make me an independent person, basing everything on their approval, etc). My mother was very mad at me, told me i'm an ungrateful brat with delayed development, etc. Allright. We talked a little bit after that, then we had a small fuss where she started yelling at me for something i didn't think was worth yelling about, which I expressed and walked off. So since then, she talks to me like she wishes I wasn't there. She says hi-bye and replies to my questions if I say something, otherwise she doesn't even look at me. Literally like i'm a stranger she hates but cannot kick out of the house for some reason. I have to admit i've been feeling relieved after that fight about parenting - it's like a weight has gone off my shoulders. The whole scheme of them being brilliant parents, doing everything possible for me, and me not making anything much out of it, to their disappointment, is gone from me. I've been enjoying everything I do more, even though i don't like her treatment of me. It seems like she's giving a choice - either she's so close to me that I can't see myself, or she's just not talking to me. Silent treatment is her usual punishment whenever one of us does smth she considers hurtful. Usually she just gets over it within a week or so. This time, it's been about a week and a half. I'm not sure if I should stick to what i've been doing - i.e. minimal polite communication, or ask if she's always gonna treat me as if i'm standing on her foot from now on. But then she may say she's waiting for an apology, and I don't think I have to apologize ... -yes Link to post Share on other sites
VASH THE STAMPEDE Posted October 19, 2003 Share Posted October 19, 2003 I think I read your last post,If I recall correctly you are an only child. Being an only child, your parents are going to be over protective and always want to know what you are doing. I know being smothered is kind of sickening ,but they are your parents . I would (If I was you)apoligize and just let them know that I don't need their help. Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted October 19, 2003 Share Posted October 19, 2003 mmmm..you're both being passive aggressive. silence will not help you here - you don't have to apologize, but start the dialogue back up. can you ask her to address you directly if she is upset? once you have stated: "i am willling to talk and work things out," there is nothing more you can do and you can leave the situation with your integrity intact. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yes Posted October 19, 2003 Author Share Posted October 19, 2003 i don't really want to start up another discussion b/c i'm just going to be called an ungrateful unstable brat again... but i do try to establish regular communication - i simply act normal. hopefully it'll balance out - i hope she realizes that while i wasn't 100% correct, she's not totally right either. i hope she can see that we CAN have a good relationship with more distance. it's already happening with dad - he's letting me be yet we have great conversations all the time and share information and sentiments. -yes Link to post Share on other sites
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