MagicRat09 Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 So I've decided to stop putting money in the broken vending machine, so to speak, cut my losses and move on. I'm not contacting her, didn't answer her last few messages. Keeping busy, staying off Facebook, working out, writing, seeing other people. Told my other friends I'm available to be set up and looking at the online dating sites. All good, except that emotionally it's a bit of a struggle. Violent mood swings. Anger, sadness, bitterness mixed with euphoria and elation. Also terrible guilt, because if you see my other posts this person who turned me down wants me to stay in her life and give her tons of attention anyway. She wants all the benefits of a BF without having to reciprocate or make a commitment. (Doesn't sound like something to be guilty about I know.) Guess I just need guidance on my escape route. Link to post Share on other sites
Charles1978 Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 Guess I just need guidance on my escape route. I think you just need some validation that what you did was right. That you aren't being looked at by her or her friends in a negative light because of what you are doing. When I moved on from my situation, I saw her friends a couple weeks later... you know what they told me? They said that I should have done it sooner... that they were proud of me for taking that step... that it is an attractive quality in a guy to make such a move... and that they were glad I put her in her place. Those weren't my words, and I told them I didn't even want to talk about it because it really wasn't important to me anymore... which it isn't. And ultimately, she bagan pursuing me, as it kind of seems this girl is doing to you. We had a talk at her request, and I told her that I am no longer interested. It's empowering, and it is how I feel. It's almost like a cat and mouse game. But the bottom line is that now, you are in control of the situation... not her. Meet new girls. Start hanging out with old ones, etc. That's what I did, and it made me wonder why I wasted so many thoughts and so much time on that girl. I've met some great girls since. You'll come to the same conclusion eventually. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MagicRat09 Posted April 23, 2009 Author Share Posted April 23, 2009 Thanks Charles I know you've been there recently and your advice is a great help. My attitude is changing dramatically before my eyes, I can barely catch my breath. It's empowering. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MagicRat09 Posted April 24, 2009 Author Share Posted April 24, 2009 So I didn't answer any of her facebook messages last weekend.... Midweek she mailed me some artwork she was working on, I wrote back "nice work" and that's been it. Distancing myself feels alternately terrible and great. Depends on how much I can distract myself. Work has been horrible and there are family troubles too, so it's a REAL challenge to stay strong. Link to post Share on other sites
OldEurope Posted April 24, 2009 Share Posted April 24, 2009 Children! Facebook is a tool of the devil! Okay...seriously...Magic...If you have not yet read Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius's Meditations, please do so. It will change your life. It will teach you how to handle anything that comes your way with grace. OE Link to post Share on other sites
Author MagicRat09 Posted April 24, 2009 Author Share Posted April 24, 2009 Facebook is a weapon in the wrong hands! I know Will take your recommendation OE thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
Charles1978 Posted April 24, 2009 Share Posted April 24, 2009 I'd also suggest hiding her stories on FB. Out of sight, out of mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MagicRat09 Posted April 24, 2009 Author Share Posted April 24, 2009 I'd also suggest hiding her stories on FB. Out of sight, out of mind. Yeah I did... It's for the best right now. Those things are salt in a wound. Hell, I expect all her FB pictures with me and her together were salt in someone else's wound, deliberately so. Link to post Share on other sites
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