Why the constant comparison between EA's and PA's?

[Lizzie60]

If women are mostly involved in EA's, who are they in EA's with...if most men only want sex?

 

They are involved with men who are wishing they will eventually get the woman in bed.. unless the distance is too big.. but some are equally involved.

 

 

And if men are mostly involved in PA's, who are they in PA's with..if women only want the emotional involvement?

 

They might be in PA with women who just want PA.. like me.

 

ps.. I meant women, and men ... in general..

 

 

 

 

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[Snowflower]

But while the woman is busy, busy, busy getting emotionally involved, what is the man doing during this time? And who is the woman getting emotionally involved with...someone emotionally detached? She may very well be in an EA, but until he has sex with her, what is he in?

 

 

Since I am woman I can't speak for guys obviously I can only venture a guess. My guess is that the man is basically waiting for relationship to evolve into a PA--in other words...he is waiting to get her into bed. I don't know what he is in but if he is not emotionally involved, it can't be an EA. Again the disclaimer...obviously some men DO get emotionally involved.

 

 

 

Quote taylor: But a man can't be involved in a physical sexual relationship unless the woman is, too. He can't have sex unless she does, too. And once she has sex, she is in a PA, too,..not an EA. If a man is in a PA, a woman is in a PA, too. They both have to cross that line. And I know, from having an EA, that sexual desire is a two-way street, whether they cross it or not.

 

I don't think that an affair ceases to be an EA once the man and woman have sex. It is definitely a PA but the EA is still there obviously--although the whole affair relationship has likely become much more complicated at this point. I would think the affair would be both EA and PA or a combination of the two--whatever type of title you want to give it such as a full-blown affair.

 

Either way...the EA/PA combination IMHO is deadly poison for most marriages. MAYBE a marriage can withstand one or the other depending on the situation and spouses involved but both types of A's in combination...ouch!

 

Now some will argue that you can't have one type of A without the other but I disagree and I won't digress...

[carhill]

Again the disclaimer...obviously some men DO get emotionally involved.

 

Those of us who do are also aware that YMMV, so no worries about disclaimers

 

I think anytime a partner/spouse prioritizes a third party over their chosen committed partner/spouse, it's a recipe for an unhealthy dynamic. IMO, that crosses gender/sexual lines. It's an elemental betrayal of the relationship trust. I assign equal responsibility/effect. YMMV