mclovin Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 What do you think about a bf going to a strip joint with his buddies? Also, if this is "okay" does this mean I obtain the right to go to a club/bar or a male strip joint and have a similar interaction with other men? Just curious on others perspective. Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Each individual has different opinions about what's "right" in this regard, and no one is wrong. I personally think strip clubs are fine. It's a bit silly to buy a lapdance though, such a horrendous waste of money. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mclovin Posted April 23, 2009 Author Share Posted April 23, 2009 yeah, I know there are different perspectives on the whole strip club issue. I fall somewhere in between. Generally, I don't think it's a big deal. But in some respect, I kind of feel if somewhere down the line I want to do what I want to do---go out, have flirtacious fun, etc with other men, he should not hold it against me. Also, we are moving in together soon. I am young, but I've already been married (now divorced-fairly recently) and I'm just taking precautions. I felt like things between my bf and I were wonderful, but I notice we are becoming complaciant little by little. I guess it's just the combination of everything-growing complaciant, moving in together (soon), him going to strip joints, me feeling...questionable about pursuing other men. I just don't want to go through the whole commitment thing, because most of that goes nowhere but down the toilet. The whole strip joint thing just opened my eyes to other things that may be warning signs, that is all. So I just wanted to see what others thought and experienced to get some outlook on the matter. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 it's fine as long as he's not in the damn champaigne room. but hey what you so nervous about you trust him right? It's what you want right? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mclovin Posted April 23, 2009 Author Share Posted April 23, 2009 Chrome= What did you mean exactly by it's "what I want?" If you mean in regards to the strip joint, my feelings are ambivelant. I really can't reach a conclusion on it. I think if it's for a bachelor's party or going with a group of friends including gf and w's then it's ok. I'm not nervous about his actions. I'm kind of keen to seeing what other's think of the situation in general. Plus, I'm curious how men would view my right to have the same type of interaction with other men. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Chrome= What did you mean exactly by it's "what I want?" If you mean in regards to the strip joint, my feelings are ambivelant. I really can't reach a conclusion on it. I think if it's for a bachelor's party or going with a group of friends including gf and w's then it's ok. I'm not nervous about his actions. I'm kind of keen to seeing what other's think of the situation in general. Plus, I'm curious how men would view my right to have the same type of interaction with other men. Well what I mean is that he may be a man with very bad habits and quirks but that's what you want when you enter a relationship with them. Do you want him going to strip clubs or do you really want him not to? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mclovin Posted April 23, 2009 Author Share Posted April 23, 2009 Well, since this is somewhat annonymous. I would have to say, I am not comfortable with it. Truthfully, if I went to a place where I had the opportunity to look at naked (straight and willing) guys is that okay? The guy he is going with is from Vegas and commonly goes to prostitutes. I'm not untrustworthy of him, I just feel he's showing a side to him I've never seen. I'm also a little scared of our commitments. I'm not ready to be committed and deal with this stuff. I've already been there and done it. I just don't feel like going through this again. Link to post Share on other sites
Alex_M Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 I'm a guy and I wouldn't do this if i was with a girl, utter disrespect in my view. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Well, since this is somewhat annonymous. I would have to say, I am not comfortable with it. Truthfully, if I went to a place where I had the opportunity to look at naked (straight and willing) guys is that okay? The guy he is going with is from Vegas and commonly goes to prostitutes. I'm not untrustworthy of him, I just feel he's showing a side to him I've never seen. I'm also a little scared of our commitments. I'm not ready to be committed and deal with this stuff. I've already been there and done it. I just don't feel like going through this again. Your kinda hypocritical right here. lol. Your scared of commitments but your not ready to be commited and yet your moving in with him??? WTF do you not see that is very backwards, moving in with someone is a big step! if your not ready to take it then why are you? I dont think you like his friend because he is very shady. and you fear his friend can influence him to do bad ways by example right? Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey Shortie Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 I'm not nervous about his actions. I'm kind of keen to seeing what other's think of the situation in general. Plus, I'm curious how men would view my right to have the same type of interaction with other men. Why don't you get a job for the night at the joiint he is going to. When he shows up with his friends you can dance around on stage for them and then you can truly have the same interaction with men that he is having with other women by going to a stip joint. Link to post Share on other sites
shoesies05 Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 you deff. shouldnt be moving in with him!!! you are saying you dont want to commit- and lemme tell you, that is very much a committment. You should know this if you were married- its like once you live together a lot of the privacy goes away. Seems like you arent ready for that yet. About strip joints... i go to them occassionally when i am really drunk. And yet, i hate the idea of my bf going to one. Id say go with your feelings on this one, tell him if you are uncomfortable with it and discuss it. If hes stuck on going to the strip joints, maybe come to an agreement about how often or who with... or whatever works for the BOTH of you, this is about more than one person. Also assess how important this is to you, and think about why he is going. Most guys probably go just because its nice to see some tits and ass... Maybe give him your own private little strip sometimes? Im sure he'd like that! Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 What do you think about a bf going to a strip joint with his buddies? Also, if this is "okay" does this mean I obtain the right to go to a club/bar or a male strip joint and have a similar interaction with other men? Just curious on others perspective. I personally don,t see anything wrong with a guy going to a strip joint once in a while with some friends.. BUT.. it should also be OK for you to go to male stip joints.. what's good for him HAS to be good for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mclovin Posted April 23, 2009 Author Share Posted April 23, 2009 Your kinda hypocritical right here. lol. Your scared of commitments but your not ready to be commited and yet your moving in with him??? WTF do you not see that is very backwards, moving in with someone is a big step! if your not ready to take it then why are you? I dont think you like his friend because he is very shady. and you fear his friend can influence him to do bad ways by example right? Chrome- You're right. I know. I'm feeling one way one minute and another the next. Not sure if it's me or him, maybe both. For weeks, things go great and he'll mention some kind of commitment and I'm ready. Then stuff like this arises and I'm questioning if I'm seeing another side to him. This is really his one and only friend. Eventhough he's miles away, my question is, if this is what he choses to do with his friend or future friends, this shows poor character. This side was not revealed as the opportunity never quite ceased. But I believe Alex above stated he viewed it as disrespectful. I agree. I can understand some situations like ba parties, or going with other couples together, etc, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mclovin Posted April 25, 2009 Author Share Posted April 25, 2009 I spoke to him about how I feel. I told him I felt "uncomfortable with the idea that he is going to a strip joint" but he is "free to go if he choses to" however, I did say if he "gets a lap dance ('cause I know what those are REALLY like), then our relationship is over". I made it clear I don't care if he goes out to a regular bar. I just reached a point where I thought, hey, who cares, this is HOW I FEEL. We either get past it or we don't. Anyway, after our discussion, he is NOT going and glad I asserted myself rather than using my usual passive-aggressive behavior. lol! Link to post Share on other sites
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