delajoonal Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 this is the email i got just now from my stbxh: I may be coming back sooner so prepare cause my brother is being an aarse and I may have no where to go. he is staying at his brothers house.... i knew he was up to something with that phone call last night..i KNEW and so did ALL of you...crap! now what do i do? i will rip my hair out! he cannot come back here... i was doing so well, each day getting better, NO tears, etc. plus i think he is dating someone NEW, not the original OW...OMG! this can't be my life...it was going on schedule, i had IT all planned out...oen day at a a time...BUT HE/stbxh, was not in any of them..LOL i need some sleep..LOL please please, any advice, PLEASE:o Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Are you kidding me! He's got no where to stay? Oh Well! Too bad ~ too sad! Sounds like a personal problem to me! He's the one that walked out on you! I'd dead-bolt the doors, bar them with a kitchen chair and go to bed all 'YUM-YUM' under the comforters! Link to post Share on other sites
Author delajoonal Posted April 23, 2009 Author Share Posted April 23, 2009 Gunny... would it be weird if i said i luv u...LOL:D JK no, you just make me LAUGH SO HARD... i knew you would come thru for me! that was so funny... "to bad so sad"..LOL he can sleep in his car..and ya, he did make his decision.. stupid little man...NO exit for D day...how do you spell imbasile..LOL well, i put the alarm on, and locked up...night night stbx jack a**...LOL thanks again Gunny;) Link to post Share on other sites
Author delajoonal Posted April 23, 2009 Author Share Posted April 23, 2009 p.s. just made a nice hot yummy midnight snack too...LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Intricategirl Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Ask for his keys back or have the locks changed. He continues to think of it as home, and nothing says, "You don't live here" like not being able to get in. Link to post Share on other sites
PWSX3 Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Yes change the locks!!!!! Maybe then when he comes over & can't get in he will get a clue:eek: Keep strong & don't let him sweet talk you back into the house. If he does get in then you will just have to move out..... Link to post Share on other sites
Pradajunkie Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Is it possible he's getting legal or other advice to move back in? I'm sure in many states, leaving will affect your settlement in the end. Link to post Share on other sites
seibert253 Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Ask for his keys back or have the locks changed. He continues to think of it as home, and nothing says, "You don't live here" like not being able to get in. Exactly. Also, consult with an attorney as far as your rights as he abandoned your home. Laws vary state to state. As far as where I live, marital property is equally owned. Therefore, what's yours is his, and what's his is yours, so technically if a WS left then wanted to move back, there's nothing one could do to stop it. Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Change the locks -- he abandoned the residence. Where I live, once he is back in it is nearly impossible to get rid of him. But if he left of his own volition then nothing is owed. Also: Have A LOT of fun pointing out how much his life sucks now and how terrible his decisions have obviously been. Anytime he calls -- feel free to offer a lot of these kinds of comments thinly veiled with sweetness. ENJOY HIS MISERY!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author delajoonal Posted April 23, 2009 Author Share Posted April 23, 2009 Islandgirl...LOL...i like yours...LOL...make him as miserable as possible...but with sweet undertones..he won't have a clue..(the idea, right?) ok..so, i live in California, we were told originally that i can't MAKE him stay out of our house, because we had no issues with violence. judge, legals said, "tough it out"...too bad, no violence on record, deal with it! ack! siebert253...BUT, no one told us, IF he leaves on his own, and then tries to come back, that he can or can't come back? so that is what i need to find out? so pradajunkie(LOVE the name) has a point- does anyone know off hand, the California rights to a cheater pumpkin eater? can i change the locks, both our names are on all the papers etc....to everything literallly. i just can't imagine trying to live MY Life with HIM here now... i am doing so well, can i prove some kind of emotional stress, etc.? i can get my therapist to write me a note? something...i can't have him here and then on top of that, galavanting around on dates, etc.... how awful to think he comes home late at night, he was just "WITH" some "chick"...oh NO one should have to live like that...especially after what he as already done to this household and ME with his cheating:sick: gosh, is this all for real? i am still in shock/denial....what happened to my life:o Link to post Share on other sites
Pradajunkie Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 see if this website helps... I skimmed through some of it for my own state. http://www.divorcesource.com/info/divorcelaws/california.shtml so pradajunkie(LOVE the name) has a point- thank you I think it suits me Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Islandgirl...LOL...i like yours...LOL...make him as miserable as possible...but with sweet undertones..he won't have a clue..(the idea, right?) YES. Exactly. "I am so sorry you are going through this. And just think, x months ago we had a roof over our heads and no drama -- and now you have lost your job, you're homeless, jumping around to different relationships with no sense of security. (well placed *sigh*) I just feel for you with how different your life has become. I mean, you have so many challenges going on. It has got to feel overwhelming and that nothing you do helps huh?" i just can't imagine trying to live MY Life with HIM here now... i am doing so well, can i prove some kind of emotional stress, etc.? i can get my therapist to write me a note? I'd see about going the therapist route. You can definitely show emotional duress and further jeopardy if he comes back now. Try to do something immediately -- through the courts. Contact an attorney - or a legal aid office and see if you can get some kind of an emergency order. Link to post Share on other sites
wifesgone Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 I am with gunny 100% on this one. Tell him to go to hell. ALthough in most states even if you change the locks, he can break down the front door and there is nothing you can do about it if it is marital property. Link to post Share on other sites
Author delajoonal Posted April 23, 2009 Author Share Posted April 23, 2009 ok...so i emailed him and said he is NO way allowed to come back...this is NO longer HIS home...when i move into my own cute little one bedroom apartment (actually getting excited to get out of this big house), then he can come back and turn it into a brothel for all i care..until i am gone, he is to stay away from me, etc... so, we shall see what his reply is? like i said, i really have to do more legal home work on this issue... so i better do that now, and i mean now..LOL thanks again all ..what would i do with out you! Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 I am with gunny 100% on this one. Tell him to go to hell. ALthough in most states even if you change the locks, he can break down the front door and there is nothing you can do about it if it is marital property. OK so you live in CA and you cannot legally force him out of the residence. But By God you can go to the pound and yourself a pitbull and one of his old shirts and train it to react and attack to the odor of one his old shirts or smelly old socks! "Sure Honey! You can move back in! Did I mention to you I got a 'puppy'! Link to post Share on other sites
wifesgone Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 ok...so i emailed him and said he is NO way allowed to come back...this is NO longer HIS home...when i move into my own cute little one bedroom apartment (actually getting excited to get out of this big house), then he can come back and turn it into a brothel for all i care..until i am gone, he is to stay away from me, etc... so, we shall see what his reply is? like i said, i really have to do more legal home work on this issue... so i better do that now, and i mean now..LOL thanks again all ..what would i do with out you! Yep you need to get to an attorney and find out exactly what you can and can't do. It will have to be done, and better sooner than later. Link to post Share on other sites
Intricategirl Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 I am with gunny 100% on this one. Tell him to go to hell. ALthough in most states even if you change the locks, he can break down the front door and there is nothing you can do about it if it is marital property. Except file for a harassment order. Tell me you wouldn't feel threatened if the door gets busted down... Just sayin'. (Wow. Right there is where I turned completely evil. Probably shouldn't follow my advice.) Link to post Share on other sites
wifesgone Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Except file for a harassment order. Tell me you wouldn't feel threatened if the door gets busted down... Just sayin'. (Wow. Right there is where I turned completely evil. Probably shouldn't follow my advice.) I agree with you on that one. But that is what I was told. OF course every freakin state is different with this stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted April 23, 2009 Share Posted April 23, 2009 Say that he's a cheating husband and has threatened you verbally. Then get a restraining order. Link to post Share on other sites
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