drunk text messages, update, told her

[benjamens]

hey guys, thanks for all your replies about my little drunk text message debacle. I ended up telling her last night, it was eating away at me so bad that I felt like i let her down so i was pushing her away. it was either lose her that way or tell her and risk losing her. she said she loves me and forgives me, that she understand it was a drunk screw up and that it wont happen again. She says she still trusts me and that itll be okay but I know itll be an uphill battle. where do i go from here? i cant lose this girl, she is the love of my life. thanks

[AAlike]

hey guys, thanks for all your replies about my little drunk text message debacle. I ended up telling her last night, it was eating away at me so bad that I felt like i let her down so i was pushing her away. it was either lose her that way or tell her and risk losing her. she said she loves me and forgives me, that she understand it was a drunk screw up and that it wont happen again. She says she still trusts me and that itll be okay but I know itll be an uphill battle. where do i go from here? i cant lose this girl, she is the love of my life. thanks

 

I don't know man this seems like best case scenario - you spilled your guts and she seems cool with it.

 

just don't eff up again and you should be fine!

[Mimolicious]

Depending on the phone you have... there is a "Drunk Dial/Text blocker" app. Buy it and use it, because I am sure that if you F up again, it's more like "down-hill".

[D-Lish]

I don't think you should have said anything. Sure, she might say she is okay with it at the moment... but believe me when I tell you she will dwell on this. You've just given her reason to be insecure and suspicious of you.

 

It may have unburdened you- but you have just placed that burden on her. It always amazes me when people say "the guilt was weighing heavily on ME"... Which means, the process of relieving the guilt is about the person with the guilty conscience, and not the person the information will lay a burden on.

 

You didn't cross the line, you say you have no plans to do it again, you've learned your lesson, etc. That's great- but now she has to process this information. trust me when I say it hasn't hit her yet- but it will... everytime you fight, everytime you go out on your own, everytime your phone beeps you have a message, she will think of it.

 

I think burdening her was unnecessary and even a bit selfish. I'm glad you feel better, I am guessing her self esteem will take a hit on this.

 

If you had crossed the line, I would be saying something different,

But you didn't. I am not sure what the relationship will gain from exposing this indiscretion- just the fact that you made a bit of a deal out of it sort of shows her that this was something significant to you (as a woman, that would be a warning sign for me).