what does that make me????

[Kaii]

I had a very formal Catholic upbringing complete with Catechism, Communion and Confession. I was a routine churchgoer and just believed because I was told that this is what my family and all Catholics believed.

 

Fast forward 33 years and I have done a total 180. I am teetering on the edge between agnostic and full blown atheist. I believe Jesus was just a man and a carpenter's son. Do I believe in God, I don't even know. I don't think so, when I really think about it. I guess I think we're all "just a bunch of f*cking monkeys" to quote a certain Ernest Cline.

 

It makes me feel sad. I felt happier when I was a "believer". I felt more hopeful when I had something to believe in.

 

I am an Oncology nurse and have seen more death and suffering than most people ever will because of the type of job I do. It really gets to me sometimes. I frequently feel emotionally burnt out.

 

I have small children who have started asking about "God" and "Jesus" and I would feel like a complete liar and hypocrite to spoon feed them the same crap that I was spoon fed as a child...but what is the alternative???

 

"Sorry, Johnny, there is no God and someday you are going to get old and sick and die and that will be it....now go out and play, dear".

 

Is there something wrong with me? Am I wrong about all of this?

[boldjack]

Kaii, Just because you don't believe the underlying mythology, doesn't mean you can't teach the moral precepts. I'm a combat vet and have seen (and caused) a fair amount of suffering also. When you realize that this is the only life you get, you should make it all the better. Treat people nicer, explore more, LIVE more....

[Moai]

What's wrong with telling them the truth?

 

"Nobody can know if there is a god or not but there probably isn't one" and "Jesus is the god of some people. That doesn't make him any more real than Santa." I'd take the opportunity to sharpen their critical thinking skills.

 

Morality is a totally separate thing from religion. And religion is unnecessary to teach it.

[TaraMaiden]

I am Italian and was a practising roman catholic for many years, but now I am buddhist through and through.

I went to school educated by nuns and priests.

We had matins and vespers. we had to recite the rosary on sundays, and I did communion confirmation, everything.

I even considered becoming a nun in my teens!

 

I am very pleased to be buddhist. Very happy, completely fulfilled and I feel no guilt or fear at all.

I am convinced of my own decision, and could never consider practising catholicism again.

But I deeply respect anybody who is deep in their faith whatever it may be, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, if people are happy and convinced, that is wonderful for them and I am happy.

 

It's not for me.

 

As for your children, you should not tell them something that you yourself do not believe. But you should not lie to them either.

 

The alternative is to simply tell them that mamma cannot talk to them about this, because you don't know yourself. It's something you are unsure of.

maybe you can talk about it another time, when you have had a chance to think about it.

What do they think?

 

but do not turn their minds one way or another. Bring them up lovingly and with good guidance, as morally conscientious children. let them decide when they get older....

[josie54]

The alternative is to simply tell them that mamma cannot talk to them about this, because you don't know yourself. It's something you are unsure of. maybe you can talk about it another time, when you have had a chance to think about it. What do they think?

 

but do not turn their minds one way or another. Bring them up lovingly and with good guidance, as morally conscientious children. let them decide when they get older....

 

I agree with Tara 100 percent. There is nothing wrong with your pulling away from Catholicism and finding it no longer makes sense to you. But, from the tone of your post, it sounds like you have lost a bit of hope and meaning in life. That is something you probably do not want to pass along to your children.

 

This could be an opportunity for you to find age-appropriate ways to study different faiths with your kids, and explore religion as a concept in itself, rather than direct your children to believe any one thing. The history and principles behind the world's religions are quite fascinating in and of themselves, and there are books about these religions written for every age group.

 

So, I think an alternative that might work for you is to offer your children that kind of information, direct them in their discussions of how these religions work and why they came to be, and even share your own background and the fact that you're uncertain yourself about these things. And then let them discover for themselves over time what they most believe. In the meantime, you may also be able to develop a belief system that both aligns with your worldview and provides you with a sense of meaning.

[2sure]

I have got to add something here, I'm sorry I missed it when it was new.

 

This subject has me losing sleep at night.

Raised. educated - Catholic.

Non practicing for years - but still find comfort in faith.

13 yr old daughter. Never had religious instruction or gone to church.

I feel bad she has no real faith on hand because, hey everyone needs it.

She has started asking questions deeper than I can answer. AND developing opinions without having enough information...she is curious, feels somethings missing.

 

I have dropped the ball:

 

Last week she asked if we might consider attending a church.

Me: sure - how about that Methodist church right down the street?

Daughter: "what do they have to offer?"

Me: "Chicken - they have those chicken dinners.

Daughter " No, No...I meant, spiritually!

 

So, whose the one needing instruction here.

I suck.

[quankanne]

Daughter: "what do they have to offer?"

Me: "Chicken - they have those chicken dinners.

 

:laugh: isn't amazing how many different levels we are capable of thinking on?

 

to both you mamas – this may seem like a challenge, but to me it sounds like a good thing: Your children are giving you the opportunity of sharing your beliefs, and even though you may not hold to a rigid religious standard, you still have got strong moral values to impart.

 

my thought is that you can explain what you do believe, and why, and how your own upbringing has shaped those beliefs ~ you might not be opening practicing the faith of your childhood, but believe me, the tools you learned through CCD about social justice and the Golden Rule and simply putting others' needs before your own have carried you thus far in life!

 

it's okay to tell others that there are different kinds of beliefs that people hold, and that they can believe as they choose; with your kids you'd probably want to emphasize being good, kind, generous and loving with others because it makes the world a better place.

 

kali, it sounds like your current beliefs aren't helping you reconcile with what you experience on the job, maybe it's time to review what you actually do & don't believe, and formulate a "system" that helps you through stresses like this. I can preach God til I'm blue in the face, but you're the only one who can decide if He fits in the larger plan ... maybe the answer for now is to know that there *is* good out there to balance the bad/wicked/sad?

 

hugs,

quank

[disgracian]

I feel bad she has no real faith on hand because, hey everyone needs it.

This is not true.

She has started asking questions deeper than I can answer. AND developing opinions without having enough information...

The latter especially is very standard behaviour for children. If you look back on your life you'll probably notice the same pattern. Humanity is doomed to repeat most of the previous generation's mistakes. That's just the way it is. Everybody has to learn for themselves, more often than not the hard way.

 

Cheers,

D.

[Ronni_W]

Kaii,

No, there is nothing "wrong" with you. I'm also a lapsed Roman Catholic, and do understand your challenge. For what it's worth, I actually have gained much from the 'Conversations With God' series by Neale Donald Walsh -- didn't think I would but one day gave into my intuition and picked up one that was on sale. (Or maybe it's just that I gave into my love of a good bargain? .)

 

I'm not sure if it'll help with your parenting efforts, but what about looking at it more as a matter of education than a "religion/faith issue"?

 

Perhaps an age-appropriate "comparative religions" book -- give your children the information, and sooner or later they will arrive at their own conclusions and make their own choices.

 

A number of them come up in a "children's books" search of that term, at amazon.com (most also seem to have favourable customer review comments.)

 

2sure's idea of "field trips" to as many places of worship as you can will also provide yours kids with an up-close-and-personal experience.

 

Namaste