RedneckRomeo Posted October 19, 2003 Share Posted October 19, 2003 I decided to keep this short, but if anyone wants to know the background information behind this, I'll gladly share. What kind/how much flirting would you consider to be just, for lack of better term, 'friendly flirting' and when would you call it '"I'm interested in you" flirting' ?? It has to do with a relationship that I'm attempting to start, and I notice a lot of flirting, just wondering where the line is drawn between just plain friendly and being interested. Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted October 19, 2003 Share Posted October 19, 2003 When there's too much innuendo, that's when it's going beyond friendly flirting, or too much playful touching or whatever. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted October 19, 2003 Share Posted October 19, 2003 just ask if she wants to go for a coffee, and watch the reaction. flirting is flirting - there're no kinds of flirting, - not in my book, anyway. -yes Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted October 19, 2003 Share Posted October 19, 2003 would this be friendship relationship or more than being friends? I flirt occasionally with my friend who'm i just got to know on a personal level, i just never realized it until last week that i was doing this instinctively. usually it happens when she brings up something about her physical apperance or shows me pics of her. I always end up saying cute or pretty, always!! I compliment her a lot also...although i wouldnt say its flirting I think she picked it up and saw through me that i have feelings for her, i think thats why our friend relationship isn't going anywhere and we rarely hang out outside of school. I try to improve the relationship by asking to hang out, but she has a true or false excuse...i woudlnt know. Through this experience, I suggest you be really careful with what you tell a girl when you flirt or just in general. It may give off signals that are wanted or unwanted..if it's unwanted, she might just try to push you away or just keep an equal distance from you..in terms of personal get to know level. I noticed that my friend is keeping an equal distance from me. It's hard to tell if she sees through me or not through the flirts, but if you ask me i think she saw through me. It also depends on the other person of how they interpret it. it's strongly on their part whether it's friendly or more. But it's up to you how and when you say it Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted October 19, 2003 Share Posted October 19, 2003 flirting is flirting - there're no kinds of flirting, - not in my book, anyway. There's flirting that you do as play-acting; neither of you has any intention of any relationship, you just pretend to be hot for each other for fun. Then there's genuine flirting where you're interested and trying to gain interest. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RedneckRomeo Posted October 20, 2003 Author Share Posted October 20, 2003 There's flirting that you do as play-acting; neither of you has any intention of any relationship, you just pretend to be hot for each other for fun. Then there's genuine flirting where you're interested and trying to gain interest. Making up a 'type' was the only way I could come up with at the time to describe it. Basically what I meant to ask is if there is certain ways of flirting that a girl will use if she's really interested in a guy that she wouldn't use if she just wanted to be friends? Would you say that there is a limit to waht she'd do or is there something in general or specific that would show whether it is 'play-acting' or genuine? would this be friendship relationship or more than being friends? well, i guess we're just friends at the moment, though i'd love to know her better. Its just all this flirting that she's doing with me that makes it appear to me as something more -- which is why i asked this question in the first place. How DO I interpret all her flirting towards me - should I think of it as friendly play stuff or as genuine? I know some people who have told me stories about girls who flirted with them - yet they interpreted it wrongly - and it was just friendly. Is there something I should watch for to tell the difference? When there's too much innuendo, that's when it's going beyond friendly flirting, or too much playful touching or whatever. oh, lovely innuendo - not a ton of it - yet enough for me to wonder. maybe I should describe the kind of flirting I'm getting - I'll try to keep it short... most of the flirting is non-verbal, but theres enough of that to make up for the verbal. easiest way to describe this is to detail a night for you Most the time I see her is at performances for her band that she's in. I arrive early and when she notices me - usually right away - she'll give a smile and will make her way over, then say hello - normal I suppose. She's asked me a few times before the shows if I'm gonna get up and dance - I always do - sometimes it takes longer than others, but I always get up sometime. If I'm not up right away - she'll either come to me and ask me, look at me and motion me, or once she called me over the microphone to get out there and dance with her. When I'm out there dancing, I've usually got my eye on her, and when she catches me watching, she gives a smile and moves a little closer usually. If I'm not looking her direction, a touch on the shoulder or arm is given, sometimes given a little squeeze, and naturally I react and turn around, she's got the same great smile on her face, looking right at me. That has happend a lot - I mean a LOT. A few times when I was just sitting down, she touched my leg and gave it a squeeze as she walked past. One time I was just sitting, relaxing for a few minutes, she ran into my leg, and turned around to see who she ran into, I told her "Thats MY leg!" playing around - so she walks back to me with a look on her face telling me she's gonna do something - and has a seat on that leg, throws her arm around me, so I do the same with my arm. She always comes over several times each night to dance with me (she likes getting out with the crowd and having fun - not a good night unless they got a bunch of wild dancers out there - hehe) most of the time it is either just dancing right next to me, or else shoulder to shoulder or back to back, never did that great at dancing with her, but one night i was doing better than normal - a wilder than normal night too - and she came up behind me back-to-back, and I kept up with her so she comes around front and we end up doing a little front-to-front grinding - very wild night - what can I say? Oh, and a friend yelled at me earlier that night for not "dancing with the ladies" and then after this happened, he told me "Now thats the way to do it!" - so I guess I did alright in his eyes as well as hers. Nothing really to do with flirting - but I can smell every time she's around - the sweet smell of her and her perfume penetrates the air and finds it way to my nose anytime when she's in the same general area - One time - which is very odd - I smelt her as I paid to get in to another band - not hers - and looked around - but wasn't to be seen - so i figured it was just my imagination or something - but then after I got in to the arena, I found her - and sure enough - she was wearing the same perfume. very odd it seemed - but its a great fragrance - love it. Theres a lot more specific cases of flirting - but thats generally summarizing it. Hope it helps you help me. I guess a lot of it - if it were all by itself - wouldn't mean much to me, as I've seen her dance with others, smile at others, but the touching - that I haven't noticed with others - plus all of it added together, compiled from month after month of weekend shows - just makes me think she has feelings... Link to post Share on other sites
subtitled Posted October 20, 2003 Share Posted October 20, 2003 it sounds like from your tone at the end there, that just from typing that up you kind of confirmed it for yourself that she has feelings for you. From reading that, i would say yes, sounds like it. So why not ask her? what is the worst that could happen? Link to post Share on other sites
Author RedneckRomeo Posted October 20, 2003 Author Share Posted October 20, 2003 I have had myself convinced for the longest time. Actually ever since the second time I saw her band perform, I had myself convinced, but is it just because of my state of mind - because I like her a lot - that i'm concluding she likes me back or is it the real deal?? Of course I have to talk to her and ask her - was actually planning on saying something Friday night - but things came up that were somewhat out of my control and I didnt say anything. I'd really like to know if she has a boyfriend before making a move to ask her out - and I had a perfect plan, but something happened and my confidence was shaken and I bottled up. Confidence is back now - just hope it stays that way, as I figured out what went wrong last time too. Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted October 20, 2003 Share Posted October 20, 2003 based on the description of how you two act around each other, I would say you got something special going on there buddy. Sounds to me like she's showing a lot of interest in you through her actions...being in this case "actions speak louder than words" true. If you have feelings towards her being MORE than friends, i suggest you confront her and ask her if you guys or just friends or more. If you don't have feelings and consider her a friend, i suggest asking her what she thinks about you as a person in general. What she says along with her compliments should there be any, might be able to hint at how she views you...including those special feelings she might have towards you. Also based on what you said, she seems to enjoy your company a lot. I haven't had a lot of friends that did that to me unless they had feelings. I'm doing that towards a friend I like also, so i may be able to relate to your friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RedneckRomeo Posted October 21, 2003 Author Share Posted October 21, 2003 I definitely have feelings towards her - in fact, I'm crazy about her. I'd love to get a deeper relationship with her. Just whenever I want to say something - something happens and I dont get to talk to her enough to say what I want to. I know she enjoys my company - it shows pretty obviously - she's asked about me at times when she didnt see me right away (some reliable sources who told me about her asking where I was a few times) - she's often come around to talk but a lot of times I've blown the chance to chat because of things that were happening around. Could kick myself for a lot of what I've missed... I've got an idea for what I'm gonna do though - so I hope it works out! Link to post Share on other sites
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