Spark1111 Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 Lizzie, be careful. My WS had an affair with a work colleague, the only sign at work being an occaional shared cup of coffee together, so careful were they. My daughter had a relationship with a man at work (both single) in a slightly senior position in a company that has policy which frowns upon this, so they both took extreme precautions in keeping it underwraps. I work in a company that has many young people (25-35) in its employ and when a spark starts to grow between a couple, it is seen immediately. *NEWS FLASH* Every female office worker in both companies knew or suspected the relationships. Either body language, sexual chemistry, repeated visits to each other's offices, facial animation, conversations, whatever, many, many, women knew. Some women knew before the people in the relationship knew what was growing between them. We must have radar for this. A shocker, I know, but if it is in the workplace, it is much more obvious than the couple even realizes. So much for secrecy. Link to post Share on other sites
Reggie Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 Can this guy buy an "inflatable" which he could store in his office to relieve his tension? He could lick it etc. and it might calm him down. Maybe he could put some of your panties on it or something if he needs olfactory involvement. Just trying to help with this delicate problem.:bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 Since you can easily find a guy elsewhere, why complicate life by shagging someone from work? He might not be the type to back off gracefully, then you are putting your job and reputation at risk over just a casual office fling - seems a bit unwise to me. Don't poop where you eat. Link to post Share on other sites
Stepone Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 i'm sure Lizzie would approve... given you pay her bill when you leave. welcome to the world of Lizzie. Are you a call girl Liz? I don't mean to offend just wonder what sunny meant.. and someone else said something about you having lots more married men. Just curious, feel free not to answer.... either way you look mighty hot and your posts are funny, I love the way you have turned the tables and seem to be using these losers and then coming on here and humiliating them! Refreshing! And how funny that this man gets so hot under the collar by the presence of you he was thinking about leaving his wife there and then.......... which you don't even want him to...whereas most OW only want the one, and the man cling to their wives! Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 What concerns me most is his 'depressed', desperate 'behavior'.. makes me mad.. and the licking,.. the staring at my breasts.. the 'drooling' does turn me off.. not even exciting.. but me think he sees other men around me and it makes him terribly jealous.. The licking motions first, are always gross. Adults should not do that. Men who want to appear attractive should not do that. A man that would assume I would be tempted by that, at work , even if I was banging him - would irritate me. Hate to say it Lizzie - but the writing is on the wall... You are going to have a visual of him making that face , at work. Coupled with the unappetizing behavior....lol. See? The nice thing is supposed to be : They go home. But this guy, you gotta see regardless. Just sayin. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted April 30, 2009 Author Share Posted April 30, 2009 Yes he does go home... and I told him about the 'faces' ... I don't know what's with him.. he goes through phases... sometimes he's just sooo freaken horny, he acts like he doesn't care about anything.. and other times.. I hardly hear from him.. but he's very busy (most of the time in meetings).. but every chance he gets.. he emails me.. or msn or drop by my office.. Link to post Share on other sites
Stepone Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 The licking motions first, are always gross. Adults should not do that. Men who want to appear attractive should not do that. A man that would assume I would be tempted by that, at work , even if I was banging him - would irritate me. Hate to say it Lizzie - but the writing is on the wall... You are going to have a visual of him making that face , at work. Coupled with the unappetizing behavior....lol. See? The nice thing is supposed to be : They go home. But this guy, you gotta see regardless. Just sayin. LMFAO!!!!! Honestly some of you are wasted here, write a book! Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 I have a question for you Lizzie. You seem to have had many of these type of affairs. How do the MM know that you are open to these relationships, or do you offer it up to them? Just wondering what it is about you that the MM know it's OK to act this way around you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted April 30, 2009 Author Share Posted April 30, 2009 to be honest.. it's like everybody else.. they usually approach me.. flirt.. in this case, he asked me to go for lunch.. he complimented me.. you know the same usual bull.. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 to be honest.. it's like everybody else.. they usually approach me.. flirt.. in this case, he asked me to go for lunch.. he complimented me.. you know the same usual bull.. But the starring at you boobs and licking the lips, do find that to be the least bit disrespectful? Are you OK with that? Why does this guy think it's OK to treat you that way? I'm fine with it from my H at the appropriate time, but in the work place, not really. I love sex and enjoy sexual attention, but not from other MM. What I want to know is why these guys treat you this way and you seem fine with it. To be fair, you did say it bothered you but only because you didn't want others to find out. Not because it was disrespectful to you. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 Imagine the boundary of marriage and/or committed relationship being irrelevant; not purposely so, but not even a consideration of psychological importance. Imagine such dynamics don't exist. That's one psychology of such interactions that I've seen in my own mind's eye. Does it describe Lizzie? Unknown. She sends out unspoken signals of availability and men react in accordance with their own perceptions and values. They choose Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 Does it describe Lizzie? Unknown. She sends out unspoken signals of availability and men react in accordance with their own perceptions and values. They choose Makes sense, but as a woman, if she is able to "get" these men to have sex with her just by being Lizzie, then why put up with such disrespectful behavior? Unless, of course, she gets these guys because she puts up with such disrespectful behavior and the MM know she doesn't care how they treat her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted April 30, 2009 Author Share Posted April 30, 2009 But the starring at you boobs and licking the lips, do find that to be the least bit disrespectful? Are you OK with that? Why does this guy think it's OK to treat you that way? I'm fine with it from my H at the appropriate time, but in the work place, not really. I love sex and enjoy sexual attention, but not from other MM. What I want to know is why these guys treat you this way and you seem fine with it. To be fair, you did say it bothered you but only because you didn't want others to find out. Not because it was disrespectful to you. It's done in a 'fun' way.. nothing disrespectful. I just find it 'tacky' not really disrespectful.. he's a 'clown'.. he constantly jokes around.. everyone knows him as being the 'funny' guy around here... he is very funny. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 It's done in a 'fun' way.. nothing disrespectful. I just find it 'tacky' not really disrespectful.. he's a 'clown'.. he constantly jokes around.. everyone knows him as being the 'funny' guy around here... he is very funny. Whatever you say Lizzie. Carry on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted April 30, 2009 Author Share Posted April 30, 2009 Makes sense, but as a woman, if she is able to "get" these men to have sex with her just by being Lizzie, then why put up with such disrespectful behavior? Unless, of course, she gets these guys because she puts up with such disrespectful behavior and the MM know she doesn't care how they treat her. Aahhh come on.. you need to relax a bit.. I don't have to put up with any disrespectful behaviour.. we 'joke' around.. we exchange 'sexual' emails or msn... we have sex together.. so if he sticks his tongue out... it's not the end of the world... I'm not a prude.. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 Aahhh come on.. you need to relax a bit.. I don't have to put up with any disrespectful behaviour.. we 'joke' around.. we exchange 'sexual' emails or msn... we have sex together.. so if he sticks his tongue out... it's not the end of the world... I'm not a prude.. OK, again whatever you say. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 HereNow - I'm not sure if OW always "respect" her MM . If she isn't in love with him and the relationship doesn't require the same emotional aspects as a marriage or even a committed friendship... While I'm sure both insist on boundaries and rules....the whole respect thing like you mean might not be something that comes up. Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 HereNow - I'm not sure if OW always "respect" her MM . If she isn't in love with him and the relationship doesn't require the same emotional aspects as a marriage or even a committed friendship... While I'm sure both insist on boundaries and rules....the whole respect thing like you mean might not be something that comes up. True, maybe I'm using the wrong word. I was just wondering what it is about LIzzie that men feel it's OK to treat her that way. But, she says she likes it, so my question is irrelevant anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 IMO, it's a variant of a "convenient" relationship. It serves a purpose, agreed upon by the parties involved. TBH, even though I might not be able to walk Lizzie's path, I do find her perspective refreshingly honest. It helps me relate to women better, especially in the area of relationship complexity. Sometimes, simplicity is better Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 IMO, it's a variant of a "convenient" relationship. It serves a purpose, agreed upon by the parties involved. TBH, even though I might not be able to walk Lizzie's path, I do find her perspective refreshingly honest. It helps me relate to women better, especially in the area of relationship complexity. Sometimes, simplicity is better I would agree, except for the fact that MM's wife was never given a say in the matter. Lizzie works under the assumption that the affair is somehow "good" for the marriage in some fashion, but in the bottom line, this isn't what his wife signed up for is my guess...she is an involved party and didn't agree to this. So I still don't see the "honesty" in this either...if she wants it honest, she should have him bring his wife to their next "session" to ensure she agrees with this plan as well. Not to mention that Lizzie has never admitted to her MM at work anything about her "second profession"...so there are still continuing lies by omission here too. There's nothing refreshing here to me...he's just like any of the guys she accepts gifts from, but isn't currently paying. The odd thing is...I'm not actually offended by Lizzie's lifestyle, other than the fact that she involves married men. If she were doing all of the same things with single guys...no issue at all. There isn't anyone else impacted by any of this. Link to post Share on other sites
Stepone Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 Not to mention that Lizzie has never admitted to her MM at work anything about her "second profession"...so there are still continuing lies by omission here too. The odd thing is...I'm not actually offended by Lizzie's lifestyle, other than the fact that she involves married men. If she were doing all of the same things with single guys...no issue at all. There isn't anyone else impacted by any of this. These two paragraphs are contradictory. In one you say she is lying to the MMs by omission which is wrong, in one you say you would be okay with it if it was *single* guys she was lying to.... Where is the logic in this? Surely it's less immoral to cheat on a cheat, so to speak. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 She wouldn't have to lie to the single guys...they wouldn't care. But you're right...if she was lying to all of them, that would be equally offensive. Link to post Share on other sites
Stepone Posted April 30, 2009 Share Posted April 30, 2009 She wouldn't have to lie to the single guys...they wouldn't care. But you're right...if she was lying to all of them, that would be equally offensive. Why do the married men care? If anything I'd have thought they'd care less seeing as they have absolutely no leg to stand on if they expect her to be exclusive Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted April 30, 2009 Author Share Posted April 30, 2009 These two paragraphs are contradictory. In one you say she is lying to the MMs by omission which is wrong, in one you say you would be okay with it if it was *single* guys she was lying to.... Where is the logic in this? Surely it's less immoral to cheat on a cheat, so to speak. exactly... they know they're not the only ones.. so it's not really cheating.. and WHO CARES... even the single guys I never promised anything.. so they know it's not 'sexclusivity' so they can go elsewhere too.. we all live in a free world.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted April 30, 2009 Author Share Posted April 30, 2009 Why do the married men care? If anything I'd have thought they'd care less seeing as they have absolutely no leg to stand on if they expect her to be exclusive None of them have ever asked me to be exclusive.. and they know the answer to that one.. They wouldn't dare.. Link to post Share on other sites
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