NoIDidn't Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 NID, I agree with you and think that Lizz is pretty settled in her ways, and I don't pity her at all. I'm actually indifferent to her, except for the reasons she acts the way she does. She reminds me of an old-maid school teacher I once had, no emotional involvement, lack of respect and a rather poor view of humanity in general. The difference is that the teacher hungered for knowledge and LIzz hungers for sex. Very interesting poster. I'm pretty indifferent to her threads on these matters as well. She's not looking for anyone's permission. I don't pity her either. She enjoys the life she's created as well as she can. Sure there's probably a story behind it, but she'll never tell. And this is the last time I'll post about *her* in the third person. LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Reggie Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 If you'd read my post and understood it, you'd know that I was saying that some people have those needs for intimacy and emotional connection filled to overflowing in OTHER aspects of their lives, without needing to parasitise them off lovers. This is on topic, how? Resorting to name-calling when your argument fails might work in the playground, but adults don't fall for that kind of stuff. BTW since I am my H's spouse, it's pretty nonsensical that I would demonise myself, don't you think? Well, I understood it, O. It just made no sense,IMO, and was unrealistic(just like your constant demonizing of his Bs and incessant need to declare to the world just how wonderful everyone thinks this is. It is BS.) . The life you describe seems pretty sad and empty. Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 Well, I understood it, O. It just made no sense,IMO, and was unrealistic(just like your constant demonizing of his Bs and incessant need to declare to the world just how wonderful everyone thinks this is. It is BS.) . The life you describe seems pretty sad and empty. so it made no sense to you, ergo you didn't understand it, and feel the need to insert a bit more of an ad hominem attack on me while you're at it? And you say someone else's life sounds sad and empty? Wow! Link to post Share on other sites
boldjack Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 NID, I agree. Goodnight Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted May 7, 2009 Author Share Posted May 7, 2009 :lmao: :lmao: "sad, lonely existence... :lmao: :lmao: keep rationalising that to yourself, if it keeps you warm at night! Some people choose that lifestyle because they are FULFILLED - because they're NOT feeding off lovers for their intimacy and affirmation needs, which they get elsewhere (friends, work, family, etc). They need lovers for sex only, and don't want the inconvenience of having to be someone's social worker and cook and cleaner and spawn incubator. A great many M people lead "sad, lonely existences" - check out the marriage boards, or listen up to work colleagues, or maybe even look in the mirror - which their damaged pasts led them to "choose" because they haven't the balls to claim their lives and live them out to the full - whether alone, partnered, or - as Lizzie and other OWs like her do - with an array of part-time arrangements to suit their own particular circumstances. It takes far more balls and life courage to walk the "path less travelled" than to fall into a safe, boring way of life. People who are truly damaged are far more likely to opt for the latter. Well said.. You nailed it!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted May 7, 2009 Author Share Posted May 7, 2009 O, Her "relationships", I'm not interested in, it's her seeming lack of respect for anyone, and absence of emotional bonding, that I find interesting. I don't see anything different with my 'relationships' than any other FWB relationships.. they're the same.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted May 7, 2009 Author Share Posted May 7, 2009 You have a point, even so I still think that I will stand by my previous post. I have never heard of anyone deliberately choosing prostitution or any form of surrogate as a lifestyle, with out some unpleasant background. Oh well.. if it makes you feel better to think that I have some 'unpleasant background'.. then so be it.. I know I don't.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted May 7, 2009 Author Share Posted May 7, 2009 I cannot agree with this. Humans want an emotional, intimate connection, IMO and this lifestyle does not provide that. O , I'd say you need to look in the mirror. Your posts are always so full of boasting and demonizing your screwed up H's spouse. The allegations that everyone is so overjoyed with yiur marriage demonstrate your insecurtiy and bitterness. You really think so??? Link to post Share on other sites
boldjack Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 To term your "relationships", with these MM's as FWB's is exactly what I'm talking about. A "friends with benefits", relationship implies friendship, which implies a certain level of respect, transparency, and emotional bonding, these qualities are noticeably missing from your posts. Maybe it's just that your idea of friendship is skewed. You have said in past posts that you recieve "favors" in return for sex, I tend to think that you have a provider/client relationship instead. Lizzie, I also want you to know that i'm, in no way, morally judging you, I'm the LAST person to be judging anyone. Perhaps the term "unpleasant background" was wrong. I believe in "cause and effect". There are reasons that you are the way you are. Though, like the other poster said, you probably wouldn't tell me , anyway. BTW, have you ever had a deep, committed, honest relationship with ANY man? Not counting immediate family, of course. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted May 7, 2009 Author Share Posted May 7, 2009 To term your "relationships", with these MM's as FWB's is exactly what I'm talking about. A "friends with benefits", relationship implies friendship, which implies a certain level of respect, transparency, and emotional bonding, these qualities are noticeably missing from your posts. Maybe it's just that your idea of friendship is skewed. You have said in past posts that you recieve "favors" in return for sex, I tend to think that you have a provider/client relationship instead. Lizzie, I also want you to know that i'm, in no way, morally judging you, I'm the LAST person to be judging anyone. Perhaps the term "unpleasant background" was wrong. I believe in "cause and effect". There are reasons that you are the way you are. Though, like the other poster said, you probably wouldn't tell me , anyway. BTW, have you ever had a deep, committed, honest relationship with ANY man? Not counting immediate family, of course. It's strange that my posts come through as being disrespectful for men.. it's sooo far from the truth... I do respect men and women.. this is odd.. but this is the internet.. I honestly .. truly believe that there is NOT always a reason for our lifestyle choices but I understand . .and can see that some people HAVE to over-analyse and absolutely FIND some reasons for such and such behaviour... sometimes there are ONLY choices that suit us.. don't you think? Anyway.. yes I was in one long term relationship... for a total of 29 years with the same man.. then I lived 5 years with another guy... so I know what I want and mostly what I don't want ... I'm very satisfied with my choices.. and it works for me... Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 Since we're analyzing Lizzie, I'll throw in my two cents. I agree with Boldjack that I find you, or perhaps more accurately the persona you project on LS, interesting (in a "clinical" way, not the other kind). Your views and attitudes are ones I don't generally encounter, at least in a woman your age (no disrespect intended!). I don't find you disrespectful towards men, just emotionally detached. So I get what Boldjack is saying: the men in your life can't be called "FWBs", because I can't see any evidence of the friendship aspect. But it's your life; you're certainly smart and experienced enough to live it as you wish. Link to post Share on other sites
boldjack Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 Do you really think that I'm over-analyzing? Maybe so. As far as respect, you seem to be juggling several men at once, so the resulting lack of honesty, implies a lack of respect. Though perhaps you withhold your respect for those men you don't sleep with. I guess it's just curiosity on my part. Your life seems just like mine used to be. That's why I find you so interesting. Of course, you're wrong. There are always reasons(sometimes not apparent) for our actions, nothing happens in a vacuum. Lizzie, you are certainly a wonderful woman, and I wish you the best.................Jack Link to post Share on other sites
Gamine Posted May 11, 2009 Share Posted May 11, 2009 OWoman, there is a considerable amount of resentment and anger in your posts and a seemingly never ending one-upmanship that is unnerving. In response to another post of mine referencing God, you have spoken in contempt referring to an afterlife in the same vein as fairies and storytelling. I cannot help but to also believe that your anger points to unresolved issues in your life as well. After all, if you were at peace with your life you would be sharing something joyous and grounded. Instead, I see jabs at intellectual acrobatics trying to out do everyone at every turn. This, I do not understand. You also make reference to counseling others so I am deducing that you are a counselor of sorts. What bothers me most is that this anger seems to be directed at genuine kindness and good feelings... and that any 'belief' in anything... almost a joke to you. If your life was/is the way you always wanted it to be one would believe that you would be at peace... not so angry. You seem so angry and almost contemptuous towards anyone who holds that which is good, true and beautiful dear and close to their heart... as if anyone who does so is a chump. You found your husband and you are now a married woman, so why are you clinging to OWoman as your tag? What are you trying to convey? What is your hidden message? It is not my intention to be disrespectful to you in any way, OWoman. I simply do not understand the intense anger. Link to post Share on other sites
Gamine Posted May 11, 2009 Share Posted May 11, 2009 Anyway.. yes I was in one long term relationship... for a total of 29 years with the same man.. then I lived 5 years with another guy... so I know what I want and mostly what I don't want ... I'm very satisfied with my choices.. and it works for me... Perhaps this is not a lifestyle chosen by a free spirit with no need for ties, but someone who is in search of that which was unattainable previously when her heart, time, and true spirit were engaged. It feels as if what is being spoken is a relinquishment of her expectations from men. As if the investment made in men was anything but reciprocated and that the defiance is an avenue to regain lost power. Link to post Share on other sites
broknhearted Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 almost lost it today.. Or maybe ... yes.. any other OW working with their MM... Are you encountering any problems? *sigh* it is difficult working with them huh? i work with my mm too. kinda opposite of your situation, i'm his boss and he's much younger. it was a lot of fun at first, sometimes gets to be a nuisance though. he tends to follow me around like a puppy. and yes, people notice little things like that, the stares, the winks, everything. i've tried pulling back, but he always has some excuse to hunt me down. don't get me wrong, i love him like crazy but.... he is married and i don't see that ever changing. i think he's the kind of guy that thinks its ok to have another woman tucked away, just so long as the wife don't find out. i've been in this R for a year and a half and it does bug me that i have about as much a clue now as i did a year and a half ago as to where this R is going. well, pretty sure i know. no where. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted May 12, 2009 Author Share Posted May 12, 2009 brok.. how old are you? what is the age gap? Link to post Share on other sites
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