Should American men stop dating American women?

[alphamale]

We can like all sorts of guys but the guys that we fall in love with have the sexual appeal plus the character to match that.

thats the biggest crock of bull**** i've heard in months

[Woggle]

If character mattered to women why do you see so many utter scumbags who practically have women fighting over them?

[carhill]

Charisma. Character does not define that quality.

[alphamale]

If character mattered to women why do you see so many utter scumbags who practically have women fighting over them?

indeed, in general the men who have the greatest sexual appeal also have the least amount of "character"...

 

and the same applies for most women

[marlena]

indeed, in general the men who have the greatest sexual appeal also have the least amount of "character"...

 

It's the all the attention that they get. It turns them into narcissists and we all know what they are like.

[MissConduct]

thats the biggest crock of bull**** i've heard in months

Oh ok, speak for women why don't you. And coming from a person who used this criteria to determine a woman worth dating that is really interesting:

 

Through out this we're drinkin' and getting hammered then decided to go to a bar. Had a few more and this woman (Lisa) like totally changed personality, she was dancing about and getting all touchy-feely with me. It was like two different girls ...and she's a fairly small girl, weight wise, probably 125 lbs and 5'4".

 

Man this woman could down the drinks, holy crap, she was keepin' up with me....she became more and more outgoing the more she drank. Pretty funny. I guess we're going out next weekend.

 

Is there anything I should be on the lookout for?

 

Is she an alcoholic? She was fairly meek before the booze kicked in but afterward she became a lot more forward and direct. I mean more so than the average person.

 

Then, after the date was a flop and asked why you went out with her the response is:

 

indeed, she had that whole wierdo vibe about her but whe was attractive and in good shape and worked for a large well known accounting company so i figured what the hell

 

So let me see if I understand what you are saying, basically you went out on one date with a woman who you based completely superficial criteria on and you blame women for not basing the dating criteria on character alone?

 

This woman saw you as friend material yet she is supposed to overlook the fact she does not feel physical or mental chemistry for you to fall in love with your character alone? When you are doing the exact opposite to her?

 

You men expect women to settle for a good heart and a good character and to forgo any other aspect of the man so long as we realize how well he has worked at becoming a good character of a man when you are AS superficial as they come when picking women?

 

Having a good character is what seals the deal, but attraction is what opens the door. Don't be a hypocrite everyone uses that criteria to pick mates.

And attraction does not have to be universal it has to be for that particular pair of people, what is hard is meeting someone who you are both on the same page in terms of finding each other attractive in every respect.

 

Stop fooling yourselves that it should happen any other way for women, when you as men operate in the exact same manner. :rolleyes:

[loser101]

Women do not place a premium on a man's character during the dating phase. Its more about emotional connection, chemistry, attraction etc.

 

A man can do something that he normally does without qualms as a good character trait and its completely dismissed by a woman or in some cases misinterpreted as trying to show something that he isn't, as Record Producer said some number of posts ago - another reason why quality guys sometimes do not connect with certain women.

 

Ladies, why so many complaints about men being jerks, cheaters etc? Why aren't you with the nice guys?

 

you can't make sweeping statements like these about women and then expect to be looked at as an individual yourself.

 

there are women around that very much judge a man's character from the beginning as one of the key aspects of dating. you get shallow people and you get those with depth. same rule applies for men.

[gopher]

I think Woogle that you stuggle with those issues, not that they cripple you. But they do affect you, probably both negatively and positively. Most of us would like to do with a little less of the negative.

 

Anyway, I would like to see American men say what *they* can do to change the dating fate or what they think *they* do that contribute to the dating fate. Instead what I see is alot of the blame game.

 

Agreed JS and the same should go for women. How many threads are there on LS where women have been treated badly where both women AND men try and help them through it. On the flipside, Alpha posts his thread about a wacky chick and women come to the wacky chick's defense, I guess because she is a fellow female.

[Sam Spade]

Our mothers are probably a big reason why so many men here feel the way they do. She was the first woman to ever betray and abuse me and I learned at a very young age how many women can be.

 

It's not just your mother though. The baby-boomers are the crappiest parents (and generation ) the world has ever seen .

[carhill]

Hey, thanks for that

[Trialbyfire]

If character mattered to women why do you see so many utter scumbags who practically have women fighting over them?

Why do so many men fight over women who are emotional drama queens? Let me guess, it's all about their "passionate" natures!

 

Come on people. Don't just judge with your eyes and then pull the all-encompassing drastic generalizations, such as American women this and that/or American men, this and that. Grab a brain. You all have one!

[Sam Spade]

Hey, thanks for that

 

I was just trying to edit the post to say "except carhill" , sorry, dad!

To avoid another sweeping generalization war, let me clarify that my disdain for the boomer generation is based chiefly on the specific, and hopefully not too common, breed of aging self indulgent hippies that rather be "friends" than parents to their children, and who think that they are still relevant just because they attended a rock-concert in the 1960s:eek:.

[Jersey Shortie]

They probably get bad vibes from you. Look at how negative you are about the male population in general. Not a personal attack, but maybe you need to have a better outlook on your male counterparts before you go and try to snag one. Why are you so bitter towards men? Is it because you aren't much to look at?

 

I love how later in this post you make reference to how foreign women have less expectations and date a man because they like him for who he is and here you ask me if I am bitter because I must be ulgy. So men are allowed to have shallow expectations but women aren't. You go on and on about hot your girlfriend is but you seem extra sensitive to women that might want a man that has alot of money.

 

By the way, Mr. Dream, You're a couple years younger then me and have more bitterness at your age then I did at that age.

 

 

 

 

I remember one post where it was about what goes through a women's head when a guy sees them naked, or I think it was the other way around, the guy being naked, I can't remember..but your reply was littered with worry of not being prepared or nice to look at. What's the deal?

 

Yes, I do worry about what my body looks like. I work out regulary but I will never be super hot. Since men spend alot of their time looking at other mediums to gratify themselves to, It will naturally be something that will concern me when being in a spot to be more vunerable with a guy. Especially the harsh critisms about women, looks and aging that are littered on LoveShack from some men.

 

 

On a different note, these men aren't disrespecting their mothers because their mothers grew up in different times. A time where the media didn't focus so heavily on what's attractive, what's not, and on how to pick and choose your SO.

 

And you think men of this generation haven't been negatively affected? That it is only the women of your generation? Please. Or is it that you jsut don't care about the issues women face when it comes to men of your generation but you want them to care alot about the issues you face?

 

 

These men are talking about modern American women who're snobby with a huge ego and sense of entitlement,

 

News flash. Snobby and huge ego and sense of entitlement are running rich through the blood of men, equally as it can with women. It just shows it's face in different ways. Please don't pretend or fool yourself that somehow men have escaped unscathed in society and have turned out to be generous, kindly men, full of respect, love and life for women while women have become some kind of robo-snobo.

 

"...obviously (he wouldn't be bitching about some broad from the 1970's).."

 

You don't think men and women had gender issues in that time period???? It was the 70s for the love of god.

 

 

...the ones who are single and in the dating scene with ridiculous standards. The ones who will turn a perfectly genuine gentlemen away because he feels that each party should pay their way the first date, or perhaps because he didn't open the door for her, or pull her chair, or some other small thing. These men are complaining about women who throw the whole thing away because of one small annoyance, and then turn around and complain about what a douche the guy was.

 

How do you know these women are throwing it awy for one small annoyance?

 

The OP simply found dating abroad more successful.

 

He found hooking up mor successful, not dating. Lets not confuse the two.

 

 

This does not mean that he's going to wake up with pussy bumps on his dick, or that the women he's hooking up with are whores. Its crazy all the slander these women are getting from offended American Female posters.

 

The only nationality getting slandered around her are American women. Apparently we are damned if we do and damned if we don't. We are suppose to like a guy for who he is while he picks us based on our hotness factor, we are suppose to not like when a guy pays or opens a door for us even if it makes us feel more womanly, we are suppose to have no standards at all an smile and spread our legs if a man says "hello" and treats us with some small amount of favor.

 

The OP is not wrong for wanting to enjoy his dating experience. Not saying it isn't possible in America, I've had some success here, I'm sure someone else can to. But overseas its alot more fun and genuine.

 

Had alot experience dating overseas in your 20 years on this planet huh?

 

I think yo uare living in a fantasy world to think that other nations don't encounter gender issues.

 

 

The girls over there aren't so snobby and they aren't looking to throw you against a barrage of tests and **** to please their entitlement complex, they just want to enjoy your company.

 

Spanish girls aren't so snobby, French girls are another bag of worms. Funny how desperately you just want a woman to enjoy your company, not have any shallow reasons to like you yet you go on and on about hot hot your girlfriend is and how it's okay if you like women for this reasons..not jsut you but men in general. Seems like men want women to like them for who they are but they want women to reach a set of standards that are shallow themselves.

[MissConduct]

Seems like men want women to like them for who they are but they want women to reach a set of standards that are shallow themselves.

 

Bottom line!

 

 

The whiny message is "women don't care about a man's character they only want chemistry to initially date a man" Then when they speak of their own experiences they list off the most trite qualities for selecting a date. The character of the woman is never factored into the process and in some cases the very poor character of a woman is even overlooked for a chance of one date with her because she looked good enough.

 

But of course WE are the superficial ones.

 

 

All you single whiny men out there complaining women don't care about your good character go date the little chubby girl or the little average ugly girl next door who has a GREAT character, if you should only base your dating on character alone. There are millions of women who fit the bill, what are you waiting for?

 

This entire conversation is stupid, as a guy making some of the ridiculous comments on this thread I don't know how you can even take yourselves seriously when you are so two faced in your approach to dating. I hope you don't expect us to take you seriously. :lmao:

[carhill]

I was just trying to edit the post to say "except carhill" , sorry, dad!

LOL... no worries. The "shoe fitting" analogy is not lost upon me. I can't argue because I have no children to refute your claim with. I do see your point. Our generation definitely has its issues...

 

All you single whiny men out there complaining women don't care about your good character go date the little chubby girl or the little average ugly girl next door who has a GREAT character

 

I did this, for the better part of 20 years. TBF and I had a conversation about the dynamic upthread IIRC. Outside of a few genuine nut cases (and I can tolerate a lot before I say that), their attraction dynamic and perceived character were mutually exclusive. IOW, they were of good character but didn't find me attractive.

[Jersey Shortie]

American women should only date Australian Men. They know how to treat a woman like a woman.

[MissConduct]

American women should only date Australian Men. They know how to treat a woman like a woman.

 

 

Yeah but Aussie accents are so goofy. I don't think I could listen to that all day long. And actually I would beg to differ they are very much into the "lad" mentality. I really don't think they have anything on NA men.

 

I did this, for the better part of 20 years. TBF and I had a conversation about the dynamic upthread IIRC. Outside of a few genuine nut cases (and I can tolerate a lot before I say that), their attraction dynamic and perceived character were mutually exclusive. IOW, they were of good character but didn't find me attractive

 

I'm sorry but I don't fully understand what you are saying. Also I have no clue what all those acronyms mean? Can you please explain?

[mr.dream merchant]

I love how later in this post you make reference to how foreign women have less expectations and date a man because they like him for who he is and here you ask me if I am bitter because I must be ulgy. So men are allowed to have shallow expectations but women aren't. You go on and on about hot your girlfriend is but you seem extra sensitive to women that might want a man that has alot of money.

 

By the way, Mr. Dream, You're a couple years younger then me and have more bitterness at your age then I did at that age.

 

 

 

 

Yes, I do worry about what my body looks like. I work out regulary but I will never be super hot. Since men spend alot of their time looking at other mediums to gratify themselves to, It will naturally be something that will concern me when being in a spot to be more vunerable with a guy. Especially the harsh critisms about women, looks and aging that are littered on LoveShack from some men.

 

 

 

 

And you think men of this generation haven't been negatively affected? That it is only the women of your generation? Please. Or is it that you jsut don't care about the issues women face when it comes to men of your generation but you want them to care alot about the issues you face?

 

 

 

 

News flash. Snobby and huge ego and sense of entitlement are running rich through the blood of men, equally as it can with women. It just shows it's face in different ways. Please don't pretend or fool yourself that somehow men have escaped unscathed in society and have turned out to be generous, kindly men, full of respect, love and life for women while women have become some kind of robo-snobo.

 

 

 

You don't think men and women had gender issues in that time period???? It was the 70s for the love of god.

 

 

 

 

How do you know these women are throwing it awy for one small annoyance?

 

 

 

He found hooking up mor successful, not dating. Lets not confuse the two.

 

 

 

 

The only nationality getting slandered around her are American women. Apparently we are damned if we do and damned if we don't. We are suppose to like a guy for who he is while he picks us based on our hotness factor, we are suppose to not like when a guy pays or opens a door for us even if it makes us feel more womanly, we are suppose to have no standards at all an smile and spread our legs if a man says "hello" and treats us with some small amount of favor.

 

 

 

Had alot experience dating overseas in your 20 years on this planet huh?

 

I think yo uare living in a fantasy world to think that other nations don't encounter gender issues.

 

 

 

Spanish girls aren't so snobby, French girls are another bag of worms. Funny how desperately you just want a woman to enjoy your company, not have any shallow reasons to like you yet you go on and on about hot hot your girlfriend is and how it's okay if you like women for this reasons..not jsut you but men in general. Seems like men want women to like them for who they are but they want women to reach a set of standards that are shallow themselves.

 

 

Well let's not take what I said out of context, which is pertaining to this thread. The OP's concern isn't men. He never once brought up men. So why place words in his and I's mouth? And yes I've been overseas, I'm a military brat and I dated outside of the American Military Base.

 

Forming a post made of angry assumptions gets you nowhere Jersey. I wasn't saying you MUST be ugly, I was asking if that's maybe your case for being bitter. Like I said before, stop putting words in people's mouth. All of your argumentative rebuttals hold no ground because they're all assumptions. I never once did exclude men from the cons of the American Dating game. Find it in my post where I came out and said "this excludes men". Let me help you ahead of time, I didn't.

 

If you would READ what I typed without covering it in your aura of miserable hatred for men, you would see that I agree that the dating game in America is ****ed up for both genders. Yeah my GF is hot, who the **** cares. I didn't say people need to stop being heavy on looks. Looks is what sparks that initial attraction. But people often ruin good things because they're so caught up in these media pressed expectations and standards of the opposite sex. It applies to both sexes.

 

Everytime a guy expresses his taste for this type of girl over another here you come curling up on the floor, spewing forth all kinds of feminist man hating bull**** as if Hulk Hogan decked the **** out of you and left a "Bitches Aint ****" indent on your forehead. And if you were really hard pressed about defending women you'd get on these female posters about calling chicks sluts like you've done in the past to male posters. But you're not. You're just the resident man hater of Loveshack that I had the misfortune of even interacting with. And you wonder why homeboy ducked you.

 

Deuces.

[Chicago_Guy]

American women should only date Australian Men. They know how to treat a woman like a woman.

 

Aren't you the woman who was attacking other posters for writing that they prefer foreign women over American women? You apparently also prefer foreigners!

[Sam Spade]

 

 

All you single whiny men out there complaining women don't care about your good character go date the little chubby girl or the little average ugly girl next door who has a GREAT character, if you should only base your dating on character alone. There are millions of women who fit the bill, what are you waiting for?

 

 

Average certainly does not mean ugly, so spare your breath. My girlfriend would qualify as average by most common standards, and perhaps even a bit round-ish (though at 5'2" and 120 lbs she's waay ahead of the curve in the sea of fatness that is america), but that's irrelevant, since she's the cutest thing to me.. The point is that it is precisely her qualities and character - sweet, feminine, caring, composed, accountable etc. , and apparently lost to the stereotypical american bitch - that attracted me to her. Oh, and she's asian, but I guess that's a coincidence . If I was stupid enough to dismiss her solely based on her 'average' looks, that would have been a huge mistake, and I bet I'd still be stuck going on dates with butch, 'fierce', cows with poor manners that can do no wrong . And I'm generally a person who gives generous benefit of the doubt . So looks have little to do with the complaints I hear about here . Pretty or not, if their attitude and character are crap, I want no piece of that action .

 

The quintessential american woman is contained in the following quote from a female friend of a friend i witnessed this year:

"My boyfriend is in BIG trouble if he doesn't get me a card, chocolates, and foot massage on Valentine's day.".

[MissConduct]

Average certainly does not mean ugly, so spare your breath. My girlfirnd would qualify as average my most common standards, and perhaps a bit round-ish .

 

 

Considering you have always referred to your g/f in almost all your posts as someone who barely makes the cut, I don't find it surprising that you post with such disdain for women as a whole. You criticize her every time you make a distinction to her physical attributes that clearly don't make the cut for you. But on the same token you cut up ALL women with one wide stroke, just because they are American. You just sound very unhappy because you didn't get what you think you deserve. You are not convincing at all otherwise Sam Spade.

 

And to the part about "round-ish" at 5'2" and 120lbs get your head checked. How much is a woman supposed to weigh at 5'2", 5 lbs?

Maybe you should be dating a hamster they are really light.

 

My boyfriend is in BIG trouble if he doesn't get me a card, chocolates, and foot massage on Valentine's day

 

And she is right, if you can't even do something special for your woman one time a year, then who needs you?

 

Same for birthdays, and special occasions. I would do the same for a man and would never let a special occasion go by without celebrating it with him, he should do the same. Women love chivalry what is the big secret here?

[Cherry Blossom 35]

American women should only date Australian Men. They know how to treat a woman like a woman.

 

Oooohhh.....I must agree :love:

[mr.dream merchant]

Considering you have always referred to your g/f in almost all your posts as someone who barely makes the cut, I don't find it surprising that you post with such disdain for women as a whole. You criticize her every time you make a distinction to her physical attributes that clearly don't make the cut for you. But on the same token you cut up ALL women with one wide stroke, just because they are American. You just sound very unhappy because you didn't get what you think you deserve. You are not convincing at all otherwise Sam Spade.

 

And to the part about "round-ish" at 5'2" and 120lbs get your head checked. How much is a woman supposed to weigh at 5'2", 5 lbs?

Maybe you should be dating a hamster they are really light.

 

 

 

And she is right, if you can't even do something special for your woman one time a year, then who needs you?

 

Same for birthdays, and special occasions. I would do the same for a man and would never let a special occasion go by without celebrating it with him, he should do the same. Women love chivalry what is the big secret here?

 

 

Who needs you if you're going to make a big deal out of one day of the year?

[MissConduct]

Who needs you if you're going to make a big deal out of one day of the year?

 

 

Exactly!

 

I am fine not meshing with men who think like you as I am sure you are fine not meshing with women who think like me. I avoid lazy self centered men who are non-chivalrous like the plague, they are not for me. But I am totally fine with that, and I understand some men are less romantic and thoughtful. There must be some woman out there who appreciates that. It's not me.

 

But I think it is easier for me to find a man who is chivalrous and thoughtful than it is for a guy who is not to find a woman who actually likes that.

[mr.dream merchant]

I respect that, but it is a bit much to call a man all of that for one day out of the year. I think this is exactly the attitude the OP was referring among certain American Women. A man could break his back keeping you happy but god forbid he let's one day of the year slip and now he's:

 

"lazy self centered men who are non-chivalrous like the plague"

 

?

 

Hopefully that isn't the case. And if it is, the OP's point is clearly proven. Btw, it isn't my way of thinking. I just think a women is extremely fickle if she blows her gasket over one missed day out of all the other occasions where her man has done a great job at making her feel special. Again, hopefully that isn't the case with you. But if it is, refer to the second sentence of this paragraph.