Should American men stop dating American women?

[MissConduct]

Superficial people should be with superficial people.

 

Agreed!

 

I am not interested in numbers, only people. I want to get ahead in life, and I can't do that with dead weight or a traitor in the midst. So far, my impression of American women is that they would prefer to assert themselves at a very high-price, or cash out when things are in their favor rather than work together to get ahead. Maybe they are too selfish and materialistic.

 

I'm sorry that has been your experience with women, but it seems you have your standards as well. When a woman states her standards she is called names like frigid, a bitch, materialistic and the list goes on and on. When a man has standards, he is just a man after the best possible thing for him. Why the double standard?

 

And don't kid yourself about the grading system everything in life is graded on numbers of value, even people. You do not pass grades unless you get a decent mark, you do not get a job unless you score above the competition, the more you nurture you relationships with your family and friends the better relationships you have, and you do not get to talk to a you do not get to be a desired part of society unless you can exchange numbers($) for goods. People grade people all the time. Our existence is based on comparisons from what we know and experienced in the past to the needs we form based on that as well as what we can offer in return.

 

So to tell yourself that "people aren't numbers they are people", sure they are people not numbers but you need a point of reference to know what is good and what is not good for you. If you don't grade people then you would not have the standards you just expressed for qualifying a "good woman". And believe me what you did up there is qualify.

I just took it a step further and added a number to it, for easier comprehension.

[FleshNBones]

So to tell yourself that "people aren't numbers they are people", sure they are people not numbers but you need a point of reference to know what is good and what is not good for you. If you don't grade people then you would not have the standards you just expressed for qualifying a "good woman". And believe me what you did up there is qualify.

I just took it a step further and added a number to it, for easier comprehension.

Dependable and trustworthy are not numbers. Those are two qualities I as well as most other guys really can't afford to compromise on.

 

The problem with competition is there is always someone better. There is always someone who is faster, stronger, taller, wealthier, more cultured, etc. The grass will always be greener on the other side.

[MissConduct]

Dependable and trustworthy are not numbers. Those are two qualities I as well as most other guys really can't afford to compromise on.

 

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Are you kidding? Of course they are you just rated those qualities a 10. And they should be at the top of a person's "wants" list, if they are looking for a quality human being. How can you know you need someone who is dependable and trustworthy unless you can compare it to someone who is not. If you look at someone who does not possess those qualities you will more than likely think they are inferior in terms of what they can offer. What is inferior on a number scale of 0-10?

 

Now if you base your criteria on whether a person spreads their legs quickly and pays for their way at the movies then your basing it on low qualifications. Exactly how much does it take to spread your legs? Not much at all. But how much does it take to be trustworthy and to be dependable and to stick to your word? Apparently a lot more because it seems to be a well sought after honed quality to have.

 

Both are quantifying a person's worth they are based on different criteria but it doesn't take a genius to see that one criteria is for 0's while the other is reserved for 10's.

[FleshNBones]

Are you kidding? Of course they are you just rated those qualities a 10. And they should be at the top of a person's "wants" list, if they are looking for a quality human being. How can you know you need someone who is dependable and trustworthy unless you can compare it to someone who is not. If you look at someone who does not possess those qualities you will more than likely think they are inferior in terms of what they can offer. What is inferior on a number scale of 0-10?

You can use whatever works for you. I don't think people should be reduced to numbers. I take this as seriously as the beauty pagent.

 

I don't know any guys like me, and I don't think I really fit into any category. Does an unknown become a 0?

Now if you base your criteria on whether a person spreads their legs quickly and pays for their way at the movies then your basing it on low qualifications. Exactly how much does it take to spread your legs? Not much at all. But how much does it take to be trustworthy and to be dependable and to stick to your word? Apparently a lot more because it seems to be a well sought after honed quality to have.

I've never had sex myself, but that is not a priority. I am in no rush, and I certainly won't compromise myself to get it. I think character is more important than the number of partners.

[MissConduct]

You can use whatever works for you. I don't think people should be reduced to numbers. I take this as seriously as the beauty pagent.

 

I don't know any guys like me, and I don't think I really fit into any category. Does an unknown become a 0?

 

No, the unknown becomes X.

Guess mathematical equations was not your strength.

 

Flesh you are getting caught up in semantics, the point is people grade people's worth against what they can offer in return. Forget the "numbers" think in terms of qualities.

[Jaytb]

I'm not merely talking about the character of American women but the dating system American women want the men to go through. It's a tedious, overdrawn system where dating feels more mechanical than natural. The whole system feels like a job interview, rather than something real. I don't care for none of it, and the majority of American men don't care for it either.

 

well I understand the frustration, it's just that American women are a tremendously large and heterogeneous group. Many are going to exhibit characteristics that you don't like and many are going to exhibit ones that you like. Plus dating foreign women usually presents its own challenges and inhibitions. Misunderstandings are very common in these relationships, I know because I'm in one.

Also there's no need to denigrate American women or put Foreign women on a pedestal.

[clv0116]

Plus dating foreign women usually presents its own challenges and inhibitions. Misunderstandings are very common in these relationships ....

 

Yes, you are 100% right on that one. It takes some very careful and thoughtful reflection to figure out some of those miscommunications. At least it's not due to a deliberate cause, unlike many western-style women.

[clv0116]

.... the point is people grade people's worth against what they can offer in return.

 

You're correct, but when *I* said something like that castigation was the order of the day. "You just want to have YOUR needs met" was a typical response.

[Jaytb]

At least it's not due to a deliberate cause, unlike many western-style women.

 

If you mean the games and those "tests" that they put you through, I can totally understand that. It's not all Westerners though, and I'd wager some foreigners would do the same. And don't forget men do the same. Overall the environment of dating is a very clouded and uncertain place. It makes genuine people difficult to come by.

[Jersey Shortie]

Im just trying to reconcile all of the women in this country who are nurses and teach our kids and are doctors and first responders and then go home at night and put dinner on the table and put the kids to bed with the slags these guys are talking about

 

Like I said we're just spoiled our fathers would smack us

 

Excellent point. Weren't some of these men raised by American women? I hope they realize by putting down an entire nationally, they are by default, also disrespecting their own mothers.

 

I don't need to find another such woman. I've been emailing her and the Turkish girl since I came back to the States. I plan on going back to Germany before the year is done. So if I lost touch with either or both I'd end up finding one just like her when I arrived.

 

 

So it's great you found a girl you connected with and had a good time with that is in another country. But if you're really all that happy about it and got life all figured out, why are you wasting your time condemning American women? that's the irony here. I am starting to think this has less and less to do with any true and honest feelings on American women and really has to do with the hurt and frustration that the men here might have experienced and are lashing out like little boys. On one level, I get it and sympathize. On another, where you use your negative experience to belittle a whole nationaly of women, women that have made families, work hard, have your children; you really need to have someone knock you up the head.

 

Not once in this thread have I heard any of the men that are complaining about American women stop to think what THEY, as an American man, bring to the table. Not once have I heard one ask what American women might have cause for issue about. Do American men think they are perfect? That they have grown into responable adults and that someone this is as escaped women? You do realize that you were raised largely by a woman in most cases right? An American woman none the less. Perhaps it's time for real men to stop pointing the finger and whining and looking at their own actions and interactiosn with women that cause such negative results.

 

All in all, if women of other nationalities are more agreeable to you, that's cool. But then why are you still here in America? And why are you still so obviously hurt by American women?

[Woggle]

Our mothers are probably a big reason why so many men here feel the way they do. She was the first woman to ever betray and abuse me and I learned at a very young age how many women can be.

[gopher]

Excellent point. Weren't some of these men raised by American women? I hope they realize by putting down an entire nationally, they are by default, also disrespecting their own mothers.

 

 

 

So it's great you found a girl you connected with and had a good time with that is in another country. But if you're really all that happy about it and got life all figured out, why are you wasting your time condemning American women? that's the irony here. I am starting to think this has less and less to do with any true and honest feelings on American women and really has to do with the hurt and frustration that the men here might have experienced and are lashing out like little boys. On one level, I get it and sympathize. On another, where you use your negative experience to belittle a whole nationaly of women, women that have made families, work hard, have your children; you really need to have someone knock you up the head.

 

Not once in this thread have I heard any of the men that are complaining about American women stop to think what THEY, as an American man, bring to the table. Not once have I heard one ask what American women might have cause for issue about. Do American men think they are perfect? That they have grown into responable adults and that someone this is as escaped women? You do realize that you were raised largely by a woman in most cases right? An American woman none the less. Perhaps it's time for real men to stop pointing the finger and whining and looking at their own actions and interactiosn with women that cause such negative results.

 

All in all, if women of other nationalities are more agreeable to you, that's cool. But then why are you still here in America? And why are you still so obviously hurt by American women?

 

This is a great point...what are the women of LS doing to raise boys who aren't like the adult males most of them seem to dispise?

[Jersey Shortie]

*Your* mother Woogle...Not "ours". My mother is a fabulous lady dedicated to her family and raised my brother to be a great man. She is an American woman and a fabuulous one more worthy then any of the men on here expressing their disdain for women of their same nationlity. My father is a good man but was always working. She did most of the raising.

[You'reasian]

Women do not place a premium on a man's character during the dating phase. Its more about emotional connection, chemistry, attraction etc.

 

A man can do something that he normally does without qualms as a good character trait and its completely dismissed by a woman or in some cases misinterpreted as trying to show something that he isn't, as Record Producer said some number of posts ago - another reason why quality guys sometimes do not connect with certain women.

 

Ladies, why so many complaints about men being jerks, cheaters etc? Why aren't you with the nice guys?

[Woggle]

*Your* mother Woogle...Not "ours". My mother is a fabulous lady dedicated to her family and raised my brother to be a great man. She is an American woman and a fabuulous one more worthy then any of the men on here expressing their disdain for women of their same nationlity. My father is a good man but was always working. She did most of the raising.

 

That is your mother but my mother and many other mothers are not so great. Most are not as bad as mine but I know many men who grew up being raised by these 70s feminist types and it screws a man up. He either becomes a super sensitive man who is emotionally like a woman or he rebels against it and in the process probably ends up having trust issues with women. I chose the latter.

[Jersey Shortie]

You'Reasian, do you know how many men have told me on first dates that "I am nice" and am "normal" unlike another chick they went out with..blah blah blah....but never called me back again?

 

You think men are placing a preium on a woman's character right off the bat? No, they want the hottie that sparks attraction in them. Men don't base their partner preferences any more logically or selflessly then women.

 

I'm cute but apparently I don't spark that crazy lust men feel for wanting to go out with a woman again.

[Jersey Shortie]

That is your mother but my mother and many other mothers are not so great. Most are not as bad as mine but I know many men who grew up being raised by these 70s feminist types and it screws a man up. He either becomes a super sensitive man who is emotionally like a woman or he rebels against it and in the process probably ends up having trust issues with women. I chose the latter.

 

Welcome to being an adult! All our parents make mistakes dude. When you hit a certain age, it's time to woman/man-up. Many mothers probably weren't so great but many were. Many fathers weren't so great but many were. My dad is a good man but he has issues and my first life experience with a man was with him. Obviously I am affected by that, the good and the bad. I struggle with those things, not really trusting men either but I do recongnize that I am now and adult and any of the issues I may have gotten from experiences with my parents are now my issues to try and overcome or keep blaming my parents for. I am not perfect an sometimes I get angry with my dad, and I kow it affects my relationships with men but I do know that *I* am in encharge of thsoe issues now that I am an adult and I can make a choice about them. But holding on to all that and blaming your parents into your adult years, well then we all might as well still be 12 years old emotionally.

[Woggle]

I don't let these issues cripple me and in many ways I am glad for my up bringing because it prepared for the world. I didn't have a nice and perfect childhood only to be thrown out into the cold world. I was on my own from day one and it made me the man I am today.

[carhill]

I didn't have a nice and perfect childhood only to be thrown out into the cold world.

 

Beaver Cleaver is over-rated, trust me

[Jersey Shortie]

I don't let these issues cripple me and in many ways I am glad for my up bringing because it prepared for the world.

 

I think Woogle that you stuggle with those issues, not that they cripple you. But they do affect you, probably both negatively and positively. Most of us would like to do with a little less of the negative.

 

Anyway, I would like to see American men say what *they* can do to change the dating fate or what they think *they* do that contribute to the dating fate. Instead what I see is alot of the blame game.

[Woggle]

I think Woogle that you stuggle with those issues, not that they cripple you. But they do affect you, probably both negatively and positively. Most of us would like to do with a little less of the negative.

 

Anyway, I would like to see American men say what *they* can do to change the dating fate or what they think *they* do that contribute to the dating fate. Instead what I see is alot of the blame game.

 

I think I am just real and not negative. I tell it like it is.

 

If American men knew we would do it. It seems that what women want seems to change by the hour and if men can't somehow read their minds we are in the wrong. I think that men should just do what makes us happy and a woman can take it or leave it. There is no way we can win with most of them so why even try?

[alphamale]

don't know if i should post right now as i just came off one of the worst dates in my life. i may be biased

[mr.dream merchant]

You'Reasian, do you know how many men have told me on first dates that "I am nice" and am "normal" unlike another chick they went out with..blah blah blah....but never called me back again?

 

You think men are placing a preium on a woman's character right off the bat? No, they want the hottie that sparks attraction in them. Men don't base their partner preferences any more logically or selflessly then women.

 

I'm cute but apparently I don't spark that crazy lust men feel for wanting to go out with a woman again.

 

They probably get bad vibes from you. Look at how negative you are about the male population in general. Not a personal attack, but maybe you need to have a better outlook on your male counterparts before you go and try to snag one. Why are you so bitter towards men? Is it because you aren't much to look at? Did some douche hurt you a long time ago? Whatever it is, you're beating alot of men with someone else's stick, or maybe your own stick. I remember one post where it was about what goes through a women's head when a guy sees them naked, or I think it was the other way around, the guy being naked, I can't remember..but your reply was littered with worry of not being prepared or nice to look at. What's the deal? Every guy out there is out to do you wrong, or so it seems that that's the general message you're putting out.

 

On a different note, these men aren't disrespecting their mothers because their mothers grew up in different times. A time where the media didn't focus so heavily on what's attractive, what's not, and on how to pick and choose your SO.

 

These men are talking about modern American women who're snobby with a huge ego and sense of entitlement, obviously (he wouldn't be bitching about some broad from the 1970's), the ones who are single and in the dating scene with ridiculous standards. The ones who will turn a perfectly genuine gentlemen away because he feels that each party should pay their way the first date, or perhaps because he didn't open the door for her, or pull her chair, or some other small thing. These men are complaining about women who throw the whole thing away because of one small annoyance, and then turn around and complain about what a douche the guy was.

 

I'd like to think the OP meant some American women and not all of them. The message he was trying to get across is that dating overseas, especially in Europe, is alot more laidback and it doesn't feel like your tip toeing through a mine field, and I don't blame him for enjoying it, dating shouldn't be such a nerve wracking experience. But all that challenge and stress is incorporated into the American Dating scene, or so it seems. The OP simply found dating abroad more successful. This does not mean that he's going to wake up with pussy bumps on his dick, or that the women he's hooking up with are whores. Its crazy all the slander these women are getting from offended American Female posters. The OP is not wrong for wanting to enjoy his dating experience. Not saying it isn't possible in America, I've had some success here, I'm sure someone else can to. But overseas its alot more fun and genuine. The girls over there aren't so snobby and they aren't looking to throw you against a barrage of tests and **** to please their entitlement complex, they just want to enjoy your company.

 

To be fair though, there's snobby bitches in every part of the world. In Europe, the dating scene is more relaxed. In America it can be, but its more about doing what's expected which sucks because everyone is their own person with their own way of doing things. The media has ingrained in our heads things our SO should do and now everyone walks around with romance novel expectations of their SO which usually leaves said party at great levels of disappointment. Not everyone is perfect, and that's the main problem with dating. People want perfection.

[carhill]

don't know if i should post right now as i just came off one of the worst dates in my life. i may be biased

LOL, don't hold back. You know we love American women

[MissConduct]

Women do not place a premium on a man's character during the dating phase. Its more about emotional connection, chemistry, attraction etc.

 

Yes we do!

 

How do you think that emotional connection and chemistry of attraction happens, just from admiring the shoes he is wearing?

 

We can like all sorts of guys but the guys that we fall in love with have the sexual appeal plus the character to match that. Chemistry is important to keep us interested and open to the idea of finding out more about the person, but having chemistry with someone is not the same as loving them. We need to get to know them better to fall in love. That is what dating is, you need a basic level of chemistry as an incentive to keep you there. Why else would you be dating otherwise?