Should American men stop dating American women?

[loser101]

You didnt have a relationship with these women

 

Why are you making it a virtue that they had no strings sex with you within 24 hours?

 

I dont want a gf like that

 

Im glad im in America

 

you are so narrow minded. you can have sex with someone straight away and still have a relationship

[You'reasian]

And here is another thing, I didn't even have any sort of "game" or "seduction method" to pick up the German and Turkish girl. I didn't put on poofy cologne, talk about random bull, use pick-up lines, or any of the other tricks American men have to go through just to get to second base. I was in the bookstore where I met the German girl, I talked about German history, and boom, got a date, dinner, movie, and sex within 24 hours. No hassle. The same with the Turkish girl. I talked about Turkish culture with her and we went from there. Every and I mean EVERY American guy knows the whole, "just be yourself" line American women give is bull. So we come up with all these elaborate and nauseating rituals (like waiting at least 2 days before calling her, which is something I didn't have to do) just to hold their attention. With the German and Turkish girl I was myself and *gasp* IT ACTUALLY WORKED!

 

Your post speaks alot of truth.

 

Here's more food for thought:

 

European women live in a society with less random violence and violent crime (although I'd wager domestic violence is probably the same in both continents) - because of this, they live at ease with males. You can go to a book store, chat up a girl, be on the same page and the next thing you know - the two of you are on a smokin hot date.

 

Go to an equivalent book store here in the states, strike up a conversation with a girl and her response is often - why are you talking to me? I don't know you - i'm just here to buy books - I don't care that you attended XYZ university and ran the ABC triathlon lol

 

American women have their guards up and unfortunately, for good reason - their protection. European women do not have to worry about this.

[loser101]

Your post speaks alot of truth.

 

Here's more food for thought:

 

European women live in a society with less random violence and violent crime (although I'd wager domestic violence is probably the same in both continents) - because of this, they live at ease with males. You can go to a book store, chat up a girl, be on the same page and the next thing you know - the two of you are on a smokin hot date.

 

Go to an equivalent book store here in the states, strike up a conversation with a girl and her response is often - why are you talking to me? I don't know you - i'm just here to buy books - I don't care that you attended XYZ university and ran the ABC triathlon lol

 

American women have their guards up and unfortunately, for good reason - their protection. European women do not have to worry about this.

 

actually I don't agree with this. London is very relaxed when it comes to dating/sex/morals/etc but you can't chat people up in bookstores.

 

I think it largely depends on alienation in that particular city - not so much in the whole society. smaller European cities are friendlier, people are more approachable, larger ones are not so much. I don't think that's related to crime though, or not necessarily

[Chicago_Guy]

So just to be clear, American men are bitter because they have to fork over some money to go out with a woman. The horror.

 

American men are also bitter because a woman doesn't spread her legs the second he might want her too. Despite the prevealing overwhelming ideals that men call women "sluts" who sleep with men easily. Again, the horror.

 

Oh but wait it gets better. American men want women to have no expectations of any American men otherwise she is an awful, selfish human being. American men are allowed to lust after hot women and talk about these things with their friends and have a certain ideal expectations of attractivness for women. But if women have expectations for the amount of money a man makes, or what kind of job he has, she is more shallow them him. His shallowness is better and more justifyable then hers.

 

American men = resonable mature, perfect adults who offer women the greatest respect and are willing to put forth energy into women.

 

American women = selfish, worthless, whores who just care about money and actually have the nerve of not spreading their legs or feeling honored when a man pays for a date.

 

You know, it doesn't bother me that you had a great experience with other women in another country. It's not going to bother any woman. What do you hope to accomplish by posting a thread though that tears down American women and puts you on a seat of greatness above them? Do you really think you succeed more as an American man, are more fair, are more resonable, then American women? cause I hate to break it to you but problems between men and women are still the same problems you will find all over the world. I also hate to break it to you but women alone don't cause all the problems.

 

Seems to me that you are whining more about how you might acutally have to put some work into respecting a woman. Seems to me that you jsut want everything to come your way easy. Don't want to spend a drop of money on a girl, want her to spread her legs easily, don't want to put in any effort in respecting her or giving her the things she might need. Sorry, but the gender that is coming off spoiled and selfish here isn't American women.

 

I disagree with what the OP wrote - I personally wouldn't want a slut, although maybe some of the other posters would prefer that. However, I think that all men really want a woman is attractive and who appreciates them and doesn't expect them to kiss her ass or pay for everything. I am not implying that you are like that, but there are many, many women like this especially in big cities, so I totally understand why guys get jaded.

 

I know that sometimes ugly dudes can have an attitude of "I wish these women would just give me a chance," thinking that they can wow a woman if she just got to know them. You know what, if a girl is wishy-washy on me from the start, I'd rather not even date her at all because it will probably be a big waste of time and money. This is actually why I prefer it when women chase me at least a little bit to get my attention before we start dating.

[Chicago_Guy]

I do agree with some of the women posting on this thread - it's not just American women who let themselves go. There are a lot of fat and lazy dudes in this country. America has one of the most overweight populations in the world. It's neither healthy nor attractive.

[You'reasian]

actually I don't agree with this. London is very relaxed when it comes to dating/sex/morals/etc but you can't chat people up in bookstores.

 

I think it largely depends on alienation in that particular city - not so much in the whole society. smaller European cities are friendlier, people are more approachable, larger ones are not so much. I don't think that's related to crime though, or not necessarily

 

American friends of friends of mine have met women in large European cities with ease - they would probably agree with what the OP is saying.

[Untouchable_Fire]

European women live in a society with less random violence and violent crime (although I'd wager domestic violence is probably the same in both continents) - because of this, they live at ease with males. You can go to a book store, chat up a girl, be on the same page and the next thing you know - the two of you are on a smokin hot date.

Go to an equivalent book store here in the states, strike up a conversation with a girl and her response is often - why are you talking to me? I don't know you - i'm just here to buy books - I don't care that you attended XYZ university and ran the ABC triathlon lol

American women have their guards up and unfortunately, for good reason - their protection. European women do not have to worry about this.

 

I always thought the crime rate in europe was WAY higher than in the states.

 

Here are Interpol 2001 crime statistics (rate per 100,000): 4161 - US

7736 - Germany

6941 - France

9927 - England and Wales

Thus the US has a substantially lower crime rate than the major European countries!

 

I think it is our Homicide rate that is higher. A woman's chance of getting assaulted and raped in Germany is nearly double that of the U.S.

 

So, I think all of this Anti-American Women stuff is mostly bullcrap. Americans in general have some cultural issues to grapple with, but I don't think we have it all that bad.

[c-riouz]

This is actually why I prefer it when women chase me at least a little bit to get my attention before we start dating.

 

Which is what I did with the king of my heart and it's worked wonderfully so far.

 

PS: I'm German and most of what the OP wrote is a bunch of crap. Yes, one thing is true: we generally don't expect the men to pay for the dates and rather go dutch, or it's like - he pays for the dinner, I'll pay for the movie tickets after that. Personally I'd really feel like I'd owe something to the guy if he paid the whole date - and I don't feel comfortable with "exploiting" people, so I insist on paying for myself until we know each other better, or are together. So yes, the mentality is different in that aspect.

 

But as for the rest the OP wrote - gimme a break.

[You'reasian]

I

 

I think it is our Homicide rate that is higher. A woman's chance of getting assaulted and raped in Germany is nearly double that of the U.S. .

 

Yeah, I think domestic violence is as much of a problem their as it is with us.

 

So, I think all of this Anti-American Women stuff is mostly bullcrap. Americans in general have some cultural issues to grapple with, but I don't think we have it all that bad.

 

I do think that there are women here that are quality women. Told the OP that sometimes you have to explore a bit to find them, but they exist. My general impression is that dating is easier with European women than American - but I'm only talking about dating.

[loser101]

I always thought the crime rate in europe was WAY higher than in the states.

 

 

 

I think it is our Homicide rate that is higher. A woman's chance of getting assaulted and raped in Germany is nearly double that of the U.S.

 

 

the reason why the stats are skewed is that they include major cities. England/Wales would include London, a city of 8 million people, of course there is crime.

 

I very much doubt that a woman in Germany outside some rough cities would be at peril, same everywhere in the world. come on people, use some common sense

[You'reasian]

the reason why the stats are skewed is that they include major cities. England/Wales would include London, a city of 8 million people, of course there is crime.

 

I very much doubt that a woman in Germany outside some rough cities would be at peril, same everywhere in the world. come on people, use some common sense

 

Domestic violence is as high in Europe as it is in the States - meaning that being attacked or raped by someone they know is the same.

 

However homicide - random attack - is less in Europe.

 

And before we follow the rabbit down the hole, lets keep this about dating American vs European women.

 

Contine

[Trialbyfire]

I'm going to throw out an unpopular theory but let's pretend that all American women are difficult to date. Then, you look at the number of couples, men who ARE dating, men who ARE married. Does that mean the men who are having difficulty finding women to date, are just mal-adjusted to the American way?

[donnamaybe]

I'm going to throw out an unpopular theory but let's pretend that all American women are difficult to date. Then, you look at the number of couples, men who ARE dating, men who ARE married. Does that mean the men who are having difficulty finding women to date, are just mal-adjusted to the American way?

 

Or perhaps just maladjusted, PERIOD!

[moman]

I stopped dating American women 3 years ago and never looked back. Some of my friends think I'm nuts, but only the ones who have never traveled overseas. The ones who have agree with me.

 

American women in general are fatter, lazier, bitchier, ruder, cruder, and more high maintenance than any foreign women. Now, there are good and bad in every culture, but by my rough estimate, about 20% are good here and 80% are trouble, and in other countries, lets say Colombia, about 80% are smoking hot and great, and 20% are just ok.

[You'reasian]

I'm going to throw out an unpopular theory but let's pretend that all American women are difficult to date.

 

Pretend? jk

 

Then, you look at the number of couples, men who ARE dating, men who ARE married. Does that mean the men who are having difficulty finding women to date, are just mal-adjusted to the American way?

 

Let look at men who ARE dating - to see what's working out for them

[Jake Barnes]

I stopped dating American women 3 years ago and never looked back. Some of my friends think I'm nuts, but only the ones who have never traveled overseas. The ones who have agree with me.

 

American women in general are fatter, lazier, bitchier, ruder, cruder, and more high maintenance than any foreign women. Now, there are good and bad in every culture, but by my rough estimate, about 20% are good here and 80% are trouble, and in other countries, lets say Colombia, about 80% are smoking hot and great, and 20% are just ok.

If you go to Latin America of course theyre going to kiss your a**

 

They want to get away from the poverty and the violence and so they see you as their knight in shining armor

 

Im not saying theyre using you, but they might be trying to escape the percieved limitations of their world, just as you are trying to escape the percieved limitations of yours

 

Try dating the Latin women down in Miami who have all the benefits of living in this country and youll see theyre just like everyone else. In fact Ive heard dating in Miami as "swimming in a pool of vipers" and thought that might be a stretch it isn't far off. Maybe its like that in most major cities, but Ive found the girls in Chicago to be a bit friendlier overall

[samspade]

I'm going to throw out an unpopular theory but let's pretend that all American women are difficult to date. Then, you look at the number of couples, men who ARE dating, men who ARE married. Does that mean the men who are having difficulty finding women to date, are just mal-adjusted to the American way?

 

Yes.

 

Since every society has different a different set of rules, traditions, and expectations, if you as a male have not learned how to date within the American model of dating (including understanding American females' behaviors), you are doing something wrong. It is your own fault.

 

Take a look around LS at all the posts from frustrated males who have their hearts broken constantly. They consistently do the wrong thing and expect different results. When they're told they need to adapt and change their behavior, the smart ones do, and the weaker ones let their egos get in the way and continue down the road of heartbreak. Eventually, they may wind up settling down with a bitter, maladjusted female who has finally decided to marry a "nice guy" because she couldn't figure things out, either, but she's desperate to start popping out kids. Or, he'll get online and find an impoverished mail-order bride from Russia that will be his mommy figure/maid/cook/whore, and he'll not have the slightest compunction whatsoever that he's just paid up front for a lifetime of sex with someone who has been hooking in her homeland for years.

 

I remember Stuart Smalley of SNL saying once, "It is easier to put on slippers than to carpet the world."

[samspade]

If you go to Latin America of course theyre going to kiss your a**

 

They want to get away from the poverty and the violence and so they see you as their knight in shining armor

 

Im not saying theyre using you, but they might be trying to escape the percieved limitations of their world, just as you are trying to escape the percieved limitations of yours

 

Dude, this depends on where you go.

 

This may surprise you, but not all people in other countries, even poor ones, are in a huge hurry to move to the USA. Some of them are actually happy where they are.

 

If you go to a favela in Rio or a ghetto in Mexico City, you will probably find the type of woman you described above - someone desperate to get that passport.

 

But there ARE middle and upper class women in latin countries, and just because they find you attractive does not mean they are using you to get to the States. These women won't kiss your a$$, but they will, by virtue of cultural differences, behave in a more affectionate manner than a lot of American women.

[moman]

If you go to Latin America of course theyre going to kiss your a**

 

They want to get away from the poverty and the violence and so they see you as their knight in shining armor

 

Im not saying theyre using you, but they might be trying to escape the percieved limitations of their world, just as you are trying to escape the percieved limitations of yours

 

Try dating the Latin women down in Miami who have all the benefits of living in this country and youll see theyre just like everyone else. In fact Ive heard dating in Miami as "swimming in a pool of vipers" and thought that might be a stretch it isn't far off. Maybe its like that in most major cities, but Ive found the girls in Chicago to be a bit friendlier overall

 

There are some looking for a visa sponsor, but most are not. It's not the cesspool of poverty or violence that you describe. There are some areas of our major cities just as bad if not worse. At least in S. America, a couple twenties will get you out of almost any problem.

 

I agree wtih you 100% about Miami, but that's due to them being "Americanized", I currently have 2 Latina friends in Miami who are actually good and dont' act like the ones you describe. However, many of them in Miami think they are a prize because so many guys go around with their toungues hanging on the ground around them.

 

My experiences have also been played out in England. Women in Paris are a little tougher. In Asia they're wonderful, like S. Am.

[You'reasian]

When they're told they need to adapt and change their behavior, the smart ones do, and the weaker ones let their egos get in the way and continue down the road of heartbreak.

 

I agree with this.

[MissConduct]

There are some looking for a visa sponsor, but most are not. It's not the cesspool of poverty or violence that you describe. There are some areas of our major cities just as bad if not worse. At least in S. America, a couple twenties will get you out of almost any problem.

 

 

 

Dude, South American women are definitely skinnier than American women, fine I'll give you that but they are MORE materialistic than any American woman. You haven't the faintest clue what you are talking about. South American women put on a great act, you have no clue how they talk and what they really want when the walls are down and they don't have to put on an act infront of gringos. NO CLUE!

 

 

What's wrong with wanting everything to come easy in a relationship?

 

 

Nothing, as long as you understand that easy come but also easy go!

 

I have been to Germany a few times my friend is from Cologne, been to Dusseldorf, Essen, Berlin, Munich...I have talked to her friends and seen people there first hand and I see the way these women think. The culture is very different and these women are somewhat cold and pragmatic when it comes to sex and love they take it or leave it and don't delve too deeply into attachments so it's is really easy for them to also detach. They seem to find it normal to get bored of one guy in particular and easy to move on when the mood strikes them.

 

I found out my friend left her boyfriend of 15 yrs (she did not want to marry did not see the point) high and dry, they had two children together and she left him for someone younger, more successful and a lot more exciting wealthier man because "it was time to move on". I had called for her one weekend and her ex answered the phone and he sounded like death on the phone, I asked what had happened and in his broken English he told me she had left him for another man and that she was off traveling with him in the Mediterranean he was with the children and barely holding it together.

 

When I finally spoke to her, with a smile on her face (she makes any situation sound like she is talking about changing the toilet paper role in the bathroom "well eet was empty soooo it vas time to change eet, yah?) she said "yes I met someone that I have so much fun with so I left him, the children will be fine"

 

Funny thing was I met her in France many years ago she was traveling with friends and her boyfriend was back home, we totally connected and became great friends she later came to my hometown to live for a year and her boyfriend was still back home but she would date other men here like it was not a problem at all. Then he came here to live with her for the remainder of the year and they went back to Germany as if nothing. I found it so bizarre.

 

A few of her friends same thing, a married friend of hers left her husband for an Italian man she met in Morocco on one of her "girl trips" with her friends.

 

As long as you are OK with being with someone who believes love has a short shelf life even in the grand scheme of things when forming a family, then knock yourself out and definitely pursue and easy woman!

 

I dated a German man I met in my travels, he confirmed a lot of women in Germany are very pragmatic when it comes to love. He liked the "warmth" of North American women, ohhh the irony! I was shocked to hear of North American women being refered to as "warm", so that must tell you a lot about German women!

[Jersey Shortie]

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It seems that some of this search to find women from other cultures and blaming American women is some type of escapism which has a lack of confidence underlying it

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I think that was perfectly said. [/sIZE][/FONT]

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What I like about Aussie men is their emotional openness and gentlemanly ways, even with the gruff and sometimes rough exterior. The women I like for their blend of femininity and feral sexuality. It's an interesting place

 

Yeah, the accents are pretty cool, and, interestingly, they liked my Cali "accent" as well. Differences are cool, I guess.

 

I know one Australian man very well and he is exactly as you described. That's funny though that you say it's more of just the way Aussie men are in general. I actually am highly attracted to guys like that. And there are American men that can be like that too.

 

 

 

What's wrong with wanting everything to come easy in a relationship? You act like a relationship should be challenging, frustrating, and hair-raising.

 

I think relationships should be give and take. You have to work with the opposite sex, hopefully there is a part of you that is eager to meet their needs. It doesn't seem to me you are describing a situation where you want anything to be expected of you. If women have low expectations they are easier to please right? It's too bad I guess that women do have a measure of expectations and I don't think in MOST cases, even in America, those expectations are outrageous. I don't think relationships should be frustrating and hair raising. But I know enough to understand that relationships are challenging and rewarding. And nothing is challenging and rewarding if you don't put effort into it. You seem to want to be lazy, and not put any effort into it while the girl falls into yoru arms all smiles and has no expectations of you. *shrug Most women arne't out for your money. Most women jsut want to feel like women and want some kind of sign that you aren't in it for yourself only.

 

See, you've been conditioned by the American social system to think paying for yourself on a date and having sex on the first date without a bunch of hassle is "being easy". In your opinion that's a big no-no. I don't have a problem with her paying for herself and not being a prude about having sex on the first date.

 

Why don't you try asking me what my view points on this are instead of dictating what you think they are? Just because I disagreed with alot of your resoning doesn't mean I don't think women should never pay or that sex on the first date is always bad. I am willing to pay for a date, I don't have sex on first dates though because I want a man that is raelly into me and not just for the sex and that is something that takes time to see. And while I am willing to pay for a date, I want a man that doesn't feel the need to whine because he might have to pay for one too.

 

German women believe independence is about being responsible for yourself and making your own decisions. American women think independence is to challenge men because in their messed up mind men are always trying to "take advantage of them".

 

Hunny, every woman in the WORLD wants to challenge a man.

 

Perhaps American women feel like men take advantage of them because more American men do actually do that then not. Women didn't get that way on their own.

 

 

SamSpade:

Take a look around LS at all the posts from frustrated males who have their hearts broken constantly.

 

yes, women never get their hearts broken on or have frustrations and disappointments..or maybe you just don't care about that side of it?

 

 

Anyway...While growing up We had TONS of exchange students live with us for months at a time..men, women, older and younger. I never found the men from other countries to be overwhelmingly masculine. The French men were a little feminie to me. And the girls were not overwhelmingly feminine. We had Spanish, Germans, French and Russians stay with us. I think people that tell themselves that other cultures are so much better are living in a fantasy world..the grass is always greener where ever you live.

 

 

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[St. Nick]

You didnt have a relationship with these women

 

Why are you making it a virtue that they had no strings sex with you within 24 hours?

 

I dont want a gf like that

 

Im glad im in America

You can keep all those stuck up prudes. I'm glad you want 'em so badly. Now I won't feel so badly when I throw 'em away with two hands because there will be guys like you willing to call last years trash treasure.

 

Also, it wasn't no strings attached sex. I sincerly need to emphasize that the American rules, values, and norms of dating ONLY APPLY TO AMERICA. The values and norms when it comes to relationship to other countries is much different, sometimes completely different. If you took a trip out and got some culture other than American culture you'd feel a release and wonder how you could have lived your life like such a stuffy provincial for so long.

Agreed, so so soooo agreed.

Right on!

 

Most of the people on here are giving excuses for American women, "you don't like a challenge, any woman who gives it up within 24 hours is a slut, all American woman aren't materialistic".

 

Why should I want to be "challenged" when it comes to a relationship? What's wrong with wanting everything to go smoothly and end up falling into place? There are so many barriers and headaches just to start out a relationship that it's no wonder the divorce rate is so high.

 

Me, personally, I just want it simple: we meet, we date, we get to know each other, and we have sex. No pickup lines, no waiting X amount of days just to call her, not worrying about am I coming on too "desperately", no worrying picking up the check, and none of the complications of worrying about sex. Trust me, man, I am headed back to Germany for some more.

Will your response to me be different, depending? Interesting.

Yes, it will be different based on gender.

[samspade]

yes, women never get their hearts broken on or have frustrations and disappointments..or maybe you just don't care about that side of it?

 

I was answering Trialbyfire's question about maladjusted American men. You are scanning for statements that piss you off when taken out of context. Nice try.

[MissConduct]

If you go to Latin America of course theyre going to kiss your a**

 

They want to get away from the poverty and the violence and so they see you as their knight in shining armor

 

 

 

Exactly!

 

 

But not necessarily want to leave their countries, a good majority of South Americans love their countries love their culture they are very nationalistic and don't want to come to North America because they are so family oriented and into making close friendships and ties they have no desire to leave their countries. What they do want it so marry the rich gringo so that they can afford the finer things in life in their own environments.

 

These women all look so good and super take care of themselves in South Amerian countries because their main goal is to land a rich sugar daddy. It's no secret they are VERY open about this.

 

What fools some of you guys are thinking these women are humble and there to serve you and take care of you. They want to improve their lives and if you can do that for them and on their terms and territory, then great! If not they have no use for you. It just so happens that the average guy here who makes average money is like a king down there because of the exchange rate.

 

Get a clue dudes!