Should American men stop dating American women?

[samspade]

Why should I want to be "challenged" when it comes to a relationship? What's wrong with wanting everything to go smoothly and end up falling into place? There are so many barriers and headaches just to start out a relationship that it's no wonder the divorce rate is so high.

 

There is nothing wrong with it. The idea that relationships are "hard work" is a myth perpetuated by bitter, angry single people and Dr. Phil.

 

Yes, you have to put in some effort and keep your partner happy. But relationships are supposed to be fun. If you're working hard to keep it together, you're already on the path to losing it anyway.

 

That's not to say that a woman can't be a bit of a challenge during the seduction phase. That's all part of the game and you should be a bit of a challenge, too. That's a little different from deliberately making your relationship a pain in the a$$.

[samspade]

What they do want it so marry the rich gringo so that they can afford the finer things in life in their own environments.

 

Just like a lot of American women. This happens everywhere, in fact.

 

These women all look so good and super take care of themselves in South Amerian countries because their main goal is to land a rich sugar daddy. It's no secret they are VERY open about this.

 

At least they take good care of themselves and are open about it (if your ignorant anti-Latina rant actually is true).

[MissConduct]

Also, it wasn't no strings attached sex. I sincerely need to emphasize that the American rules, values, and norms of dating ONLY APPLY TO AMERICA.

 

 

Ahhh it WAS no strings attached sex. What did you do you went to dinner and some other entertainment and needed up poking her that same night. If that's not "no strings attached sex" then what is? Meeting a woman at a bar and poking her in the bathroom? I mean what? What's less than sex on a first outing? Sex before you even talk to her?

 

 

How many times you think she did this with other men that very same week? She probably had fresh deposits from the last guy inside her when you went in for your piece of action.

 

If it makes you feel special knowing the woman has 0 need to discern between every tom dick and harry out there, when it comes to having sex with men, then vive your extremely low standards!

[St. Nick]

Which is what I did with the king of my heart and it's worked wonderfully so far.

 

PS: I'm German and most of what the OP wrote is a bunch of crap. Yes, one thing is true: we generally don't expect the men to pay for the dates and rather go dutch, or it's like - he pays for the dinner, I'll pay for the movie tickets after that. Personally I'd really feel like I'd owe something to the guy if he paid the whole date - and I don't feel comfortable with "exploiting" people, so I insist on paying for myself until we know each other better, or are together. So yes, the mentality is different in that aspect.

 

But as for the rest the OP wrote - gimme a break.

What part do you disagree with?

I'm going to throw out an unpopular theory but let's pretend that all American women are difficult to date. Then, you look at the number of couples, men who ARE dating, men who ARE married. Does that mean the men who are having difficulty finding women to date, are just mal-adjusted to the American way?

 

Have you forgotten the fact that 50% of those men who ARE married are going to end up divorced sooner or later? It's not just getting into an American woman that is a problem, it is also the problem of staying in a relationship with them without a lot of frustration which is a huge problem.

Yes.

 

Since every society has different a different set of rules, traditions, and expectations, if you as a male have not learned how to date within the American model of dating (including understanding American females' behaviors), you are doing something wrong. It is your own fault.

 

Take a look around LS at all the posts from frustrated males who have their hearts broken constantly. They consistently do the wrong thing and expect different results. When they're told they need to adapt and change their behavior, the smart ones do, and the weaker ones let their egos get in the way and continue down the road of heartbreak. Eventually, they may wind up settling down with a bitter, maladjusted female who has finally decided to marry a "nice guy" because she couldn't figure things out, either, but she's desperate to start popping out kids. Or, he'll get online and find an impoverished mail-order bride from Russia that will be his mommy figure/maid/cook/whore, and he'll not have the slightest compunction whatsoever that he's just paid up front for a lifetime of sex with someone who has been hooking in her homeland for years.

 

I remember Stuart Smalley of SNL saying once, "It is easier to put on slippers than to carpet the world."

Here's the thing same that I want you to take note of: our dating system is the most ****ed up dating system in the entire world. Why oh why is the American system so far in the crapper? Yes, every society has a different a different set of rules, traditions, and expectations, but our society has the most complicated and twisted rules of them all.

 

Example: my friend from Namibia told me he was shocked by all the formalities and rituals of American dating. He said if he sees a girl in Namibia then all he does is just say, "I like you" and then he starts talking to her from there. There isn't any fussing, any beating around the bush, he's not trying to hide that he's "desperate". He's being honest and straightforward. And here's something I disagree with You'reasian and loser about: American society has high crime so women put up a lot of guard. That's not a good enough reason. Africa and Latin America has a MUCH higher crime rate yet those guys don't have nearly as much trouble getting women as we do. Somebody needs to explain why Africa and Latin America has an easier system of dating yet have a higher crime rate.

 

Lastly, I'm tired of the constant talk about if I can't work the dating system in this country it is my fault. Just because I was born in this country doesn't mean I have to like some of the rules in this society and should be able to adjust to it. I was born in a small town in the Midwest and never adjusted to the cold winters and the boring lifestyle. I like warmer weather and a fast-paced city. I never adjusted to this crappy dating system because there was always something extremely moronic and complicated about it. Just because I was born into it doesn't mean I should adjust to it and deal with it. If I was born poor and never liked it is it my fault for hating it and not adjusting to it? No. I shouldn't have to adapt to a stupid system, and the American men who deal with as much stress should not deal with this. That's what this thread is about. All these rituals are STUPID! I just want a relationship without hassle, and soooooo many other American men feel the same way. And it's the right thing to feel too.

[Els]

Wow.

 

Well, just adding my little tip to the thread. If you American girls don't mind your men being rather shy and slightly lacking on confidence and suaveness, you might want to give the guys in my country (somewhere in Southeast Asia) a shot.

 

They expect to be the ones paying on dates all the time, they don't expect to be given sex for a long long time, and they generally try to pander to your whims and pamper you as much as they can.

 

To hell with the American men who act like the OP!

[samspade]

Also, it wasn't no strings attached sex. I sincerly need to emphasize that the American rules, values, and norms of dating ONLY APPLY TO AMERICA. The values and norms when it comes to relationship to other countries is much different, sometimes completely different. If you took a trip out and got some culture other than American culture you'd feel a release and wonder how you could have lived your life like such a stuffy provincial for so long.

 

Don't get roped into an argument with the resident shamers around here. Glad to hear you had a good experience with a foreign girl. They can be a lot of fun!

[MissConduct]

Just like a lot of American women. This happens everywhere, in fact.

 

 

 

We're upfront about it, we don't sell you on the submissive sex kitten act only to find later after marriage we are not like that at all. We ARE sex kittens but we set standards before we deliver, we don't have a need to "entrap" because the difference is that we can take or leave a successful man because we focus on finding our own success, unlike a lot of South American women who focus on looking like a barbie doll to entrap a man. That is their only purpose in life.

 

Life is better in two's with someone of equal value in all respects but we are not driven by this need to escape our social surroundings. We can survive on our own they can't so they will do what it takes to entrap a man, if you like being fooled into love then good for you.

[mr.dream merchant]

I don't care where you're from, entitlement complex is not attractive at all and its a common trait among American women today. Nobody owes you ****, get over it.

[samspade]

Just because I was born into it doesn't mean I should adjust to it and deal with it. If I was born poor and never liked it is it my fault for hating it and not adjusting to it? No. I shouldn't have to adapt to a stupid system, and the American men who deal with as much stress should not deal with this. That's what this thread is about. All these rituals are STUPID! I just want a relationship without hassle, and soooooo many other American men feel the same way. And it's the right thing to feel too.

 

Look man, I understand your frustration. But you can either stay mad, move to another country, or adapt.

 

I know it seems like the balance is tipped in a female's favor in the US, but that's not really true. In fact, you have complete control over the type of women you want to date, but you can't expect to go about it wrong and get the same results. That doesn't mean you have to change who you are, but it does mean that you have to be the man you know you can be in order to attract females.

 

In whatever country you go to, women are looking for the best possible mate(s). Think about it: A woman can date any guy she wants to. They need to be selective and pick the best. YOU have to be willing to be that guy in her eyes, and not just in your own eyes.

 

If you prefer the way things are in another country, more power to you. But whatever cultural differences exist, females are still hard-wired to find worthy genes, and if you act like a chump you will eventually get treated like one, no matter where she is from.

[samspade]

We're upfront about it, we don't sell you on the submissive sex kitten act only to find later after marriage we are not like that at all. We ARE sex kittens but we set standards before we deliver, we don't have a need to "entrap" because the difference is that we can take or leave a successful man because we focus on finding our own success, unlike a lot of South American women who focus on looking like a barbie doll to entrap a man. That is their only purpose in life.

 

Life is better in two's with someone of equal value in all respects but we are not driven by this need to escape our social surroundings. We can survive on our own they can't so they will do what it takes to entrap a man, if you like being fooled into love then good for you.

 

I love angry, xenophobic ignorance. Don't you guys? So entertaining.

[mr.dream merchant]

Look man, I understand your frustration. But you can either stay mad, move to another country, or adapt.

 

I know it seems like the balance is tipped in a female's favor in the US, but that's not really true. In fact, you have complete control over the type of women you want to date, but you can't expect to go about it wrong and get the same results. That doesn't mean you have to change who you are, but it does mean that you have to be the man you know you can be in order to attract females.

 

In whatever country you go to, women are looking for the best possible mate(s). Think about it: A woman can date any guy she wants to. They need to be selective and pick the best. YOU have to be willing to be that guy in her eyes, and not just in your own eyes.

 

If you prefer the way things are in another country, more power to you. But whatever cultural differences exist, females are still hard-wired to find worthy genes, and if you act like a chump you will eventually get treated like one, no matter where she is from.

 

 

That's koo, but I can date any girl I want as well, so if you act like a bitch, you get NEXTED like a bitch. See where I'm going with this? Nobody has to deal with anyone if they don't want to. Alot of these females act like its their way or the highway because their all we got. "No bitch, I can easily get with another chick who's not as snobby as you, and looks twice as better than you." That's the mentality these guys need. Stop acting like she's such a damn privelege because that's when they **** in your cornflakes with their lame ass personality and entitlement complex. "You better pay for my dinner!" The ****? NEEEEEEEEEXT! Call me cocky but **** it, I'm not leaving all the power in the hands of some pair of self righteous pussy lips. **** that.

[MissConduct]

I love angry, xenophobic ignorance. Don't you guys? So entertaining.

 

They have internet connections at trailer parks now?

[donnamaybe]

Me, personally, I just want it simple: we meet, we date, we get to know each other, and we have sex.

 

Have you read any of the threads on here about the number of past sex partners women have had and what men say about that?

 

You guys want to have your cake and eat it too. You want sex on the first date, but then you want to find a woman who has a very low number when it comes to past sex partners.

[St. Nick]

I stopped dating American women 3 years ago and never looked back. Some of my friends think I'm nuts, but only the ones who have never traveled overseas. The ones who have agree with me.

 

American women in general are fatter, lazier, bitchier, ruder, cruder, and more high maintenance than any foreign women. Now, there are good and bad in every culture, but by my rough estimate, about 20% are good here and 80% are trouble, and in other countries, lets say Colombia, about 80% are smoking hot and great, and 20% are just ok.

Good job, bro. Quit listening to all the negativity. Yes, foreign women are generally better in not only personality but looks as well.

I think relationships should be give and take. You have to work with the opposite sex, hopefully there is a part of you that is eager to meet their needs. It doesn't seem to me you are describing a situation where you want anything to be expected of you. If women have low expectations they are easier to please right? It's too bad I guess that women do have a measure of expectations and I don't think in MOST cases, even in America, those expectations are outrageous. I don't think relationships should be frustrating and hair raising. But I know enough to understand that relationships are challenging and rewarding. And nothing is challenging and rewarding if you don't put effort into it. You seem to want to be lazy, and not put any effort into it while the girl falls into yoru arms all smiles and has no expectations of you. *shrug Most women arne't out for your money. Most women jsut want to feel like women and want some kind of sign that you aren't in it for yourself only.

 

 

 

Why don't you try asking me what my view points on this are instead of dictating what you think they are? Just because I disagreed with alot of your resoning doesn't mean I don't think women should never pay or that sex on the first date is always bad. I am willing to pay for a date, I don't have sex on first dates though because I want a man that is raelly into me and not just for the sex and that is something that takes time to see. And while I am willing to pay for a date, I want a man that doesn't feel the need to whine because he might have to pay for one too.

 

 

 

Hunny, every woman in the WORLD wants to challenge a man.

 

Perhaps American women feel like men take advantage of them because more American men do actually do that then not. Women didn't get that way on their own.

 

Here's the problem. I want to "meet her needs" which is to have a fun and soulful relationship with her. But American women think a guy is being desperate when he comes straight out and says it. I want a relationship too. So why is this long, nauseating way of going about it? Yes, relationships are challenging and rewarding. But the fact is that American relationships seem to be the most challenging and the least rewarding than relationships in other countries. And no, I am not lazy, what's so bad about wanting to be able to strike a conversation with a woman without resorting to a pickup line? What's so bad about not wanting to waste time and calling her later that day instead of waiting at least two days? What's so wrong about wanting sex on the first date? What's so wrong about wanting a girl to like a man for having an honest job, irregardless of whether it is a plumber or a physician?

 

Yes, every woman loves to challenge a man. But for American women many times that is ALL the ever do.

 

There is nothing wrong with it. The idea that relationships are "hard work" is a myth perpetuated by bitter, angry single people and Dr. Phil.

 

Yes, you have to put in some effort and keep your partner happy. But relationships are supposed to be fun. If you're working hard to keep it together, you're already on the path to losing it anyway.

 

That's not to say that a woman can't be a bit of a challenge during the seduction phase. That's all part of the game and you should be a bit of a challenge, too. That's a little different from deliberately making your relationship a pain in the a$$.

I agree with everything but the last part. If you mean challenge as in foreplay then yes. But if you mean challenge as in delaying sex entirely for a long time then no. If we both find each other physically attractive then what's the point of this so-called "challenge"? What's with the unnecessary manipulation.

 

Thanks for congratulating me on getting a hot foreign girl. You definitely need to try it. It will open your eyes for the better.

[Trialbyfire]

St. Nick, you're too funny. Good luck with German women. The divorce rates are rising, astronomically and the marriage rates are falling, drastically.

 

You have to love "grass is greener" mentality. The world owes you nothing.

[MissConduct]

Have you read any of the threads on here about the number of past sex partners women have had and what men say about that?

 

You guys want to have your cake and eat it too. You want sex on the first date, but then you want to find a woman who has a very low number when it comes to past sex partners.

 

 

I was thinking the same thing, excellent point. Most guys who are in the dating game and have enough to offer women and who can get women don't appreciate easy women they in fact are the ones putting them down.

 

The thing is, only a certain kind of guy truly appreciates an "easy" woman, it's the kind of loser type guy that never gets any. When he is finally offered some and it comes effortlessly he is so excited he thinks he is in love. The rest of the more selective types are very quick to put down easy women.

[mr.dream merchant]

I was thinking the same thing, excellent point. Most guys who are in the dating game and have enough to offer women and who can get women don't appreciate easy women they in fact are the ones putting them down.

 

The thing is, only a certain kind of guy truly appreciates an "easy" woman, it's the kind of loser type guy that never gets any. When he is finally offered some and it comes effortlessly he is so excited he thinks he is in love. The rest of the more selective types are very quick to put down easy women.

 

 

damn, you're gonna get it from all the guys who wifed up easy chicks, and all the easy chicks. Good luck with that.

[samspade]

We can survive on our own they can't so they will do what it takes to entrap a man, if you like being fooled into love then good for you.

 

I guess I was "fooled" by Colombian girlfriend, who has a master's degree, a better-paying job than I do, and paid her own way to move to the US as an adult. But she only wants to be with me for my passport and bank account, right? I'll let her know that you said she is just putting on a sex kitten act. I'll be sure and tell her everything you said, so we can have a good laugh at how ignorant you are. It'll be like watching Archie Bunker.

[donnamaybe]

damn, you're gonna get it from all the guys who wifed up easy chicks, and all the easy chicks. Good luck with that.

 

She didn't put down "easy chicks."

 

She put down the guys who use and manipulate them, and maybe the guys who can never get a date and get infatuated when they finally get laid.

[donnamaybe]

I guess I was "fooled" by Colombian girlfriend, who has a master's degree, a better-paying job than I do, and paid her own way to move to the US as an adult. But she only wants to be with me for my passport and bank account, right? I'll let her know that you said she is just putting on a sex kitten act. I'll be sure and tell her everything you said, so we can have a good laugh at how ignorant you are. It'll be like watching Archie Bunker.

 

She's not the only gal in the world outside of the US. If you don't think there are gals (or guys) who use people like that, then you're the ignorant - or perhaps naive - one.

[mr.dream merchant]

She pretty much said easy chicks only land the loser guys.

[donnamaybe]

She pretty much said easy chicks only land the loser guys.

 

That might be how you read it, but that's not how I read it. There are good guys out there who don't judge a gal based on her past sexual escapades. In fact, only a guy who doesn't judge a person like that is a good guy.

 

Many guys run about f'ing everything they can get their dick into, but then they turn right around and call those same gals sluts as if, just because your sexual organs hang on the outside, you're somehow free to screw everyone in sight without repercussion.

[St. Nick]

Look man, I understand your frustration. But you can either stay mad, move to another country, or adapt.

 

I know it seems like the balance is tipped in a female's favor in the US, but that's not really true. In fact, you have complete control over the type of women you want to date, but you can't expect to go about it wrong and get the same results. That doesn't mean you have to change who you are, but it does mean that you have to be the man you know you can be in order to attract females.

 

In whatever country you go to, women are looking for the best possible mate(s). Think about it: A woman can date any guy she wants to. They need to be selective and pick the best. YOU have to be willing to be that guy in her eyes, and not just in your own eyes.

 

If you prefer the way things are in another country, more power to you. But whatever cultural differences exist, females are still hard-wired to find worthy genes, and if you act like a chump you will eventually get treated like one, no matter where she is from.

I'm done with getting into serious relationships with American women entirely. They are never going to be anything more than a jumpoff for me from now on.

 

But here's the deal: I'm a single guy with a stable job, getting my masters, and I've got my own place, yet there is still a lot of stress about whether or not I'm suitable for American women. Why should there be anything more? My Namibian friend can find girls easily in his country and he's a cab driver who is sometimes in and out of work. Same thing goes for Russian waiter friend. The women in his country come along much easier too. But in America hell no. The women here are much more demanding and materialistic.

 

True, I'll have to live up to the expectations of a woman in other countries. But will it be as high, demanding, or frustrating as with American women? HELL NO!

That's koo, but I can date any girl I want as well, so if you act like a bitch, you get NEXTED like a bitch. See where I'm going with this? Nobody has to deal with anyone if they don't want to. Alot of these females act like its their way or the highway because their all we got. "No bitch, I can easily get with another chick who's not as snobby as you, and looks twice as better than you." That's the mentality these guys need. Stop acting like she's such a damn privelege because that's when they **** in your cornflakes with their lame ass personality and entitlement complex. "You better pay for my dinner!" The ****? NEEEEEEEEEXT! Call me cocky but **** it, I'm not leaving all the power in the hands of some pair of self righteous pussy lips. **** that.

I'D LIKE TO GIVE YOU A CYBER-HANDSHAKE AND BUY YOU A CYBER DRINK. What will you have? Whiskey?

 

This entitlement just because they are women has got to stop. They give every damn excuse for why relationships with them are a nuisance but they never try to fix their attitudes. That's what sucks about all this. They know the system is ****ed up but they keep spreading **** and trying to pass it off as cake.

[Els]

That's koo, but I can date any girl I want as well, so if you act like a bitch, you get NEXTED like a bitch. See where I'm going with this? Nobody has to deal with anyone if they don't want to. Alot of these females act like its their way or the highway because their all we got. "No bitch, I can easily get with another chick who's not as snobby as you, and looks twice as better than you." That's the mentality these guys need. Stop acting like she's such a damn privelege because that's when they **** in your cornflakes with their lame ass personality and entitlement complex. "You better pay for my dinner!" The ****? NEEEEEEEEEXT! Call me cocky but **** it, I'm not leaving all the power in the hands of some pair of self righteous pussy lips. **** that.

 

Wait, wait. Weren't you the guy whose gf was emotionally blackmailing him to get engaged, and who repeatedly put up with being stood up by her?

 

Or are there two of you?

[mr.dream merchant]

Oh what? You thought that pretty face and your vagina were going to make me jump through hoops? Sorry mami, for every one decent chick that won't do, there's two more prettier, nicer, and less snobby ones who will do.