Greg2716 Posted April 26, 2009 Share Posted April 26, 2009 So I met a girl a while ago through friends. We started hanging out a bit and turned into good friends. Eventually the feeling started to change a bit but I thought it would never work because of the age difference...I had no problem with it, but she was EXTREMELY hung up on it (she's 6 years older). So I said I had feelings, but I thought it would never work and she got irritated that I had assumed we would never work out, so that turned into a bit of an argument and we drifted apart. Fast-forward to today: since the little argument we got back in touch and have hung out a bit the past couple of months and got back to the exact same point we were, only we talked about it and decided to give dating a try. She was very clear that she was incredibly nervous and scared that the physical part wouldn't work out, since she normally had a very passionate, physical start to a relationship and getting to know each other came later....never the other way around. She was very awkward about this. We had the 'friends to dating' discussion last week, and today she calls and says I've been acting strange around her and she feels like we're disconnecting. In reality I've been trying to be careful and not push her physically when she's not ready, but it probably came off a little awkward. She's saying she doesn't know what to think, that she always dates aggressive guys, and is flipping out and asking me for direction in this. She also keeps saying she's terrified about if we kiss, what if it isn't good or if we sleep together, what if the sex is bad? We agreed to let each other decompress and talk again later in the week when cooler heads prevail. Has anyone been through anything like this? Does it sound like I need to just tell her it's not going to work and move on? Should I just say 'screw it' (no pun intended) and next time I see her make a move and see how bad she freaks out? Are we both just not sure how to approach the "friends-to-dating" thing and time is what we need? Is she just not attracted to me and doesn't know how to say it? I'm at a real loss...I have never been through anything like this before. I'm sure the answer may be obvious to someone on the outside looking in... Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
messiah Posted April 27, 2009 Share Posted April 27, 2009 I am in a similar situation. the girl that I am into needs the physical part to happen first then the dating and getting to know each other comes later. Its weird and i did not think that girls could be like that! I really like her and i would rather take her out on dates first then go on to the slamming! but I dont think its gona happen with her so i am just going to move on. I suggest that you just make a move on her and if she pulls out and gets all awkward then thats your answer. It aint gona happen and you best move on. What kind of girls thinks backwards like that anyway? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Greg2716 Posted April 28, 2009 Author Share Posted April 28, 2009 Thanks for the response. I think that's exactly what I'm going to do. I figure the worst that can happen is she recoils and if we weren't meant to be then we know instantly it won't work out instead of dragging things on for longer, right? I just hate the whole cat-and-mouse game and double-speak that women do sometimes. We can't know what they're thinking ALL the time! Link to post Share on other sites
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