my boyfriend doesn't like my boobs

[imonyourside]

Throughout the five years we have been dating my boyfriend has never really shown an interest in my chest.. (36B mind you).

I always just thought he wasn't a boob guy. UNTIL I found lots of porn of women and their webcams with JUST their boobs, BIG boobs.

 

And then I talked to him about it and he wouldn't really come forward with it but I am just not up to par. My size is just not good enough for him.

 

Now I know we have been together for so long it shouldn't matter. I know it doesn't affect the way he sees me. But it makes ME feel undesirable. How can I get over this?

[sotired]

Do you have any other problems in your relationship?

 

Does he find you attractive otherwise?

 

I just don't see where this is a big deal if this is the only issue. I'm sure you wish he had a 13" penis, but we take what we can get....

[Dexter Morgan]

Maybe you should tell him his penis size isn't good enough for you.

 

he sounds like a superficial c##ksmoke.

[JackJack]

Maybe you should tell him his penis size isn't good enough for you.

 

he sounds like a superficial c##ksmoke.

 

I was pretty much thinking the same thing.

 

You could always tell him you noticed that since he seems to have a preference for big boob porn....you're going to start viewing, guys with really large d*cks. That is assuming he isn;'t all that well endowed to begin with.

[sotired]

I'm not willing to call the guy a douche just yet....Maybe he is just fascinated with big boobs. It doesn't mean he thinks less of his girlfriend for not having them. If he's straight up telling her she needs a boob job or slobbering over big tits in public...then that's one thing....But maybe he just has a boob fetish and the porn fulfills that?

 

I think really big boobs are more freak show than anything. But I'm not a boy...what do I know?

[Dexter Morgan]

I was pretty much thinking the same thing.

 

You could always tell him you noticed that since he seems to have a preference for big boob porn....you're going to start viewing, guys with really large d*cks. That is assuming he isn;'t all that well endowed to begin with.

 

I actually had a friend long ago that criticized his gf's small boob size, although not to her, just to us guys in the group.

 

I asked him, "do you have a 9 inch d!ck?". Of course the typical response by a guy might be, "you know it!".

 

But he asked what my point was. I said, "cuz unless it is, maybe you ought to be less picky about boob size."

[Lizzie60]

from what I read.. it's not clear if he actually TOLD her he didn't like her boobs..

 

one more thing.. it's not just about the size.. I have seen boobs that, even though they are big, are just awful because of their shape..

 

IMO I rather have smaller boobs that are nice than big boobs that are atroceous...

 

Most porn stars have nice big boobs.. unless they are fake.

[JackJack]

I'm not willing to call the guy a douche just yet....Maybe he is just fascinated with big boobs. It doesn't mean he thinks less of his girlfriend for not having them. If he's straight up telling her she needs a boob job or slobbering over big tits in public...then that's one thing....But maybe he just has a boob fetish and the porn fulfills that?

 

I think really big boobs are more freak show than anything. But I'm not a boy...what do I know?

 

Well, I agree, and I see your point. I was actually joking with her about looking at larger guys...but if the OP was a little more secure within herself it might not bother her to much I'm not saying its right, just saying this might stem more from a lack of her own self security. However, I'm sure if you love someone you are wanting/hoping that person to love ALL of you, not just parts. It seems he has a preference for something she doesn't have. So I'm sure that is bothersome to her.

[AAlike]

Throughout the five years we have been dating my boyfriend has never really shown an interest in my chest.. (36B mind you).

I always just thought he wasn't a boob guy. UNTIL I found lots of porn of women and their webcams with JUST their boobs, BIG boobs.

 

And then I talked to him about it and he wouldn't really come forward with it but I am just not up to par. My size is just not good enough for him.

 

Now I know we have been together for so long it shouldn't matter. I know it doesn't affect the way he sees me. But it makes ME feel undesirable. How can I get over this?

 

well, as far as his lack of interest in your chest - I won't get too graphic but have you tried to incorporate your boobs into some foreplay? he might be all about it but might not act on it in fear that you might think that it's weird or something.

 

as for you not being good enough - see, when these issues come up with woman comparing themselves to what their guys spank to, I just don't think that they quite realize how primal and fleeting our sex drives are. what I find "porn sexy" and actually sexy are worlds apart. Much like your boyfriend, I've viewed many a scene with some girl with cartoon "46JJ" breasts or something like that - I certainly don't go for women like that in real life. what gets me off in real sex is completely different than what does so in porno. a good analogy is eluding me right now, but I can assure you it's two different worlds. I remember a friend of mine telling me a hilarious story - now this is a good looking guy, quite the womanizer, with a beautiful girlfriend...he was at the gym one day and was doing stretches in an exercise class and could see up the shorts of a 200-plus pound woman, and he told us all that he had a monster erection through the whole session and pleasured himself the instant it was over - and he used this as an example to prove the fundamental difference between male and female sexuality. that would NEVER happen with a woman - not that an attractive woman couldn't be into a larger man, but she certainly wouldn't be into JUST the sight of his junk sticking out of his pants. now, if he went home and told his GF about this, i'm sure she'd do the same thing - "oh, you're into big girls, go find one" - etc. etc...and it'd be totally inaccurate. porn for guys captures that erratic, fleeting, ADD-esque nature of our sexuality.

 

as for why he's not willing to discuss with you - it's probably because in these situations women do not understand the separation of porn and real life, they try to bring it into reality, which is both inaccurate and frankly, embarrassing for us. I mean, what is he supposed to say, "honey, I love you, but yes, I would prefer that you had a 54GGG chest"?

 

plus part of the appeal of porno is that it is supposed to be kind of "secretive" or dirty...and i bet even you girls who avidly watch porn with your guys aren't aware of a far raunchier one that he keeps to himself!

[AAlike]

Maybe you should tell him his penis size isn't good enough for you.

 

he sounds like a superficial c##ksmoke.

 

but he didn't SAY this to her. if he did, then yes, I would agree.

 

she made an assumption by comparing herself to porn - something that never ends well.

[Trialbyfire]

Well, I agree, and I see your point. I was actually joking with her about looking at larger guys...but if the OP was a little more secure within herself it might not bother her to much I'm not saying its right, just saying this might stem more from a lack of her own self security. However, I'm sure if you love someone you are wanting/hoping that person to love ALL of you, not just parts. It seems he has a preference for something she doesn't have. So I'm sure that is bothersome to her.

I think the OP should focus on whether her b/f loves and is committed to her. After all, she's a composite of all her parts, internal and external. Hell, milk cows have the biggest set of udders in existence. It doesn't necessarily make them attractive!

[JackJack]

I think the OP should focus on whether her b/f loves and is committed to her. After all, she's a composite of all her parts, internal and external. Hell, milk cows have the biggest set of udders in existence. It doesn't necessarily make them attractive!

 

Yes, and that is my point about her wanting him to love ALL of her, not just certain parts. ALL of her meaning inside and out as well.

[Trialbyfire]

Yes, and that is my point about her wanting him to love ALL of her, not just certain parts. ALL of her meaning inside and out as well.

Understood and agree.

 

Put it this way, the breast porn he's viewing are just that, a set of breasts. He's not interested in having a relationship with a set of breasts...

[JackJack]

Understood and agree.

 

Put it this way, the breast porn he's viewing are just that, a set of breasts. He's not interested in having a relationship with a set of breasts...

 

Yep!

 

Hey imonyourside, look at it like this...those big boobs he is viewing, when those women are older, the boobs will be all sagging and hanging down to their knees and will need a wheel barrow to tote them around. Well assuming some of those big boob porn isn't women with fake ones! But, I'm just saying....

[Trialbyfire]

Ahahahaha....wheel barrow porn!

 

See OP? There's always a funny side to everything.

[carhill]

Do you have any other problems in your relationship?

 

Apparently:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t142738/

[JackJack]

Ahahahaha....wheel barrow porn!

 

See OP? There's always a funny side to everything.

 

Ha!

 

Now TBF, don't you be goggling "Wheel barrow" porn!

 

I would die if they had that...hell they have everything else it seems.

[sotired]

Apparently:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t142738/

.

 

Ok...Granted I just read the first sentence which says "my boyfriend of a four year relationship has just recently told me he has cheated on me three times with three different women in the past three years"

 

 

Again....What is it with people who stay with cheaters and then b*tch about porn???

 

Your small breasts are the least of your problems....

[carhill]

Yep, on LS, it always pays to read the backstory. I listen to my instincts when reading OP's and this one caused me to search....

[Trialbyfire]

Ha!

 

Now TBF, don't you be goggling "Wheel barrow" porn!

 

I would die if they had that...hell they have everything else it seems.

JJ, you stop enabling me!

 

"Wheel barrow porn" = flap, flap, flap v. fwap, fwap, fwap!

 

That makes perfect sense carhill. People rarely are concerned about solely the one issue of physical "imperfection". Insecurities are usually rooted elsewhere. If the OP had a happy, secure, trusting and respectful relationship, these small issues wouldn't be of any significance.

[cn283]

well, as far as his lack of interest in your chest - I won't get too graphic but have you tried to incorporate your boobs into some foreplay? he might be all about it but might not act on it in fear that you might think that it's weird or something.

 

as for you not being good enough - see, when these issues come up with woman comparing themselves to what their guys spank to, I just don't think that they quite realize how primal and fleeting our sex drives are. what I find "porn sexy" and actually sexy are worlds apart. Much like your boyfriend, I've viewed many a scene with some girl with cartoon "46JJ" breasts or something like that - I certainly don't go for women like that in real life. what gets me off in real sex is completely different than what does so in porno. a good analogy is eluding me right now, but I can assure you it's two different worlds. I remember a friend of mine telling me a hilarious story - now this is a good looking guy, quite the womanizer, with a beautiful girlfriend...he was at the gym one day and was doing stretches in an exercise class and could see up the shorts of a 200-plus pound woman, and he told us all that he had a monster erection through the whole session and pleasured himself the instant it was over - and he used this as an example to prove the fundamental difference between male and female sexuality. that would NEVER happen with a woman - not that an attractive woman couldn't be into a larger man, but she certainly wouldn't be into JUST the sight of his junk sticking out of his pants. now, if he went home and told his GF about this, i'm sure she'd do the same thing - "oh, you're into big girls, go find one" - etc. etc...and it'd be totally inaccurate. porn for guys captures that erratic, fleeting, ADD-esque nature of our sexuality.

 

as for why he's not willing to discuss with you - it's probably because in these situations women do not understand the separation of porn and real life, they try to bring it into reality, which is both inaccurate and frankly, embarrassing for us. I mean, what is he supposed to say, "honey, I love you, but yes, I would prefer that you had a 54GGG chest"?

 

plus part of the appeal of porno is that it is supposed to be kind of "secretive" or dirty...and i bet even you girls who avidly watch porn with your guys aren't aware of a far raunchier one that he keeps to himself!

 

 

OMG, that's the best way of explaining male sexuality right there! And your right, a perfect example is when my bf and I are hanging out on the couch and I unhook my bra he gets an erection. At that point he's ready to go. As much as I love him and think he's hot if he were to take his shirt off, or even pants for that matter, I'd catcall him (a thing we do) and keep watching tv.

[Mahatma]

I like big boobs, but my girlfriend is also a b cup.

 

However, she is a small person (5'2") and her boobs do fit her body. While I absolutely love big boobs, her boob size is so completely insignificant to the rest of our relationship, or even her body really.

 

If you were to look at my porn history, I also usually liked big boobs.

 

That was what I was thinking as I was reading this story. However, I do remember reading your other post back in January and your boyfriend is just scum. You think you love him and he is "the one," but really you are just so used to having him in your life, the thought of your life without him just does not probably feel right.

 

Please leave this guy. Your boobs should be the least of your concern.

 

If my girlfriend ever cheated on me, it would be hard for me to break up with her too. However, I would never forget it. If I was having sex with her, I would think about when she cheated on me.. and every time I wouldn't be able to get a hold of her, I would think about it. It wont go away.

 

Once willing to cheat... always willing to cheat.

[AAlike]

I like big boobs, but my girlfriend is also a b cup.

 

However, she is a small person (5'2") and her boobs do fit her body. While I absolutely love big boobs, her boob size is so completely insignificant to the rest of our relationship, or even her body really.

 

If you were to look at my porn history, I also usually liked big boobs.

 

also very well put, sir.

 

 

Please leave this guy. Your boobs should be the least of your concern.

 

If my girlfriend ever cheated on me, it would be hard for me to break up with her too. However, I would never forget it. If I was having sex with her, I would think about when she cheated on me.. and every time I wouldn't be able to get a hold of her, I would think about it. It wont go away.

 

Once willing to cheat... always willing to cheat.

 

I agree with this 100% - your reaction to the porn is probably just another side effect of being cheated on - otherwise I doubt that you'd find it so threatening and make the assumption that you're not good enough physically. and while I think that it MAY be possible to mend a relationship after a single episode of cheating (although rare), I don't think that it's possible after THREE such episodes.

[AAlike]

OMG, that's the best way of explaining male sexuality right there! And your right, a perfect example is when my bf and I are hanging out on the couch and I unhook my bra he gets an erection. At that point he's ready to go. As much as I love him and think he's hot if he were to take his shirt off, or even pants for that matter, I'd catcall him (a thing we do) and keep watching tv.

 

right - however that difference is magnified even further because he'd be getting that same erection if the vast majority of women were unbuttoning their bra in front of him!

[Mahatma]

OMG, that's the best way of explaining male sexuality right there! And your right, a perfect example is when my bf and I are hanging out on the couch and I unhook my bra he gets an erection. At that point he's ready to go. As much as I love him and think he's hot if he were to take his shirt off, or even pants for that matter, I'd catcall him (a thing we do) and keep watching tv.

 

 

Nope, a horrible way. You can NEVER explain a whole population's sexuality with a paragraph.

 

If I take off my shirt, my girlfriend gets wet and is ready to go.