What do YOU think?

[dl8ghtful]

Hi ALL! I've got a real dilemma and I want to tap into the expertise I've been reading here! This is a bit long winded but I need to try to shed as much light as I can.

 

I'm a 35 christian gal and my special friend that I have a crush on is 27. There is a group of us from church that do just about everything together. I know this sounds bizarre but it's true.

 

A bit about our group: we range in age from 20-35 and a good mix of men and women. Some have been married and not and some with kids and some without. My friend and I are the only "unattached" members of the group.

 

There are several in the group that are actually dating each other and yes they STILL hang out in the group on "dates". There are also those that are exploring the possibility of dating each other - like me and my special friend.

 

Here are the few clues that I have:

1. We sit next to each other almost every Sunday at church.

 

2. He responds to all my texts and calls in a timely manner.

 

3. We pray for each other.

 

4. We have gone out to a early dinner/late lunch together (alone!) and he surprised me by paying for the meal! Wonderful!

 

5. I have asked him to house sit for me and he agreed and did a great job!

 

6. He organized a small get together at my house with our "group"

 

7. We are planning on going to go dinner so that I can thank him properly for house sitting.

 

8. We hug pretty often.

 

The big question? Am I misinterpreting a polite young mans intentions? Is he interested? I feel as if he's sending mixed signals. Is there a way I explore the situation without disturbing the delicate balance of our friendship?

 

Thanks!

[WTRanger]

It sounds as if he is interested. I'd say continue on the path you are on and hopefully things will become clearer. I think you might need to go on a few more alone dates to really see if he's interested in you. But from what I've read, all signs are pointing that way.

[dl8ghtful]

Well Thank you to all who have read and especially to my friend who replied. I have an update that may either shed light or deepen the mystery.

 

Well my friend and I are going to dinner alone this Friday night and he's suggested spending the following Friday night watching Titanic at my house and as far as I know it's just the two of us.

 

I'm excited about our dinner tomorrow and I hope things go well although I'm not sure what to expect!

 

An observation that even I can see: It is highly unusual for a young man to volunteer to spend two prime date nights, Friday, with a lady he doesn't consider more than a friend.

 

I can come up with all sorts of explanations to address my observation but this time I think I'll go with my gut and keep my eyes and ears open.

[mark982]

i think you're way over thinking this relationship. he seems to really enjoy your company. just go w/ the flow and enjoy yourselves.

[WTRanger]

Of all of the movies he picks Titanic?!?! Holy cow! Sorry, that just stood out more than anything.

 

I think you might be coming to a fork in the "girl meets boy" road. There are two paths, relationship and friends zone. In almost any meeting of 2 people, you always, always come to this fork. Where do you want it to go? Be honest.

 

The signs point both ways, he could be interested in you as more than a friend or he absolutely loves being around you as a friend. You're probably awesome company to him. Which is fine, but if you have feelings for him then even being close friends can hurt. Because you can't take the next step and you'll always be wanting to.

 

Judging it by Friday's is not a good measure. I spent Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night (all in a row, each week) with one girl for 3 straight months only to find out we were "only friends." So, scratch that one as a measuring tool. It came down to we were friends and we enjoyed each others company as just that, close friends. Unfortunately I wanted more, and even seeing her as a close friend hurts because I'd rather see her as a girlfriend.

 

How does he act when the two of you are alone? Does he stand near you, like ridiculously close to you or is he more distant? How do your conversations go? Do you two talk into the wee hours of the morning or is the conversation forced and strained? What are your thoughts on kissing him? Just lean over and plant one on him. If he doesn't get the clue, then he's not worth your time.