For those who moved on: how long did it take to forget?

[theoneandonly]

Let's define the day you forget as the day thinking about your ex stops hurting or you stop thinking about her at all, as the case might be.

 

How long were you together?

Did you keep in touch?

Did you meet someone else that made you forget the ex?

What do you think you could have done to make it shorter?

[Juristhea]

My previous relationship was with my fiance

 

How long were you together? - 1 year and a half

Did you keep in touch? - After the break up, no.

Did you meet someone else that made you forget the ex? - No. I moved on on my own terms. The new guy came along a few months after.

What do you think you could have done to make it shorter? I don't know, probably when I went out of touch and left him alone to be with the one he cheated on me for.

 

Why? did you break up with your ex recently and had a hard time moving on? There are really no solid advice for moving on, but you can get some ideas here: http://dating-advice.suite101.com/article.cfm/how_to_move_on_from_a_breakup

[sallymax]

I was in a 15 year marriage, and losing that was painful. The best friend turned worst enemy during the divorce was also a difficult reality to live with. Even though the marriage wasn't great, we had been close in our own way, and had made a lot of dreams together.

 

But making new friends, and having new activities, pursuing dreams I've always had, and interests that have always tempted, really helped.

 

I did meet someone last year and had an instant kindred spirit/soul mate connection which also helped. The contrast between that and what I had lived in made me grateful the marriage was over. The new person was a lot younger though, and now that's ended due to reality constraints.

 

Currently, I find that a range of friends really helps. The variety of people I know, and all their different strengths and lovely qualities makes me realize the range of possible human facets. The last one is still in the beginnings of loss, and there are a lot of additional factors which make this time difficult, but I spend some time everyday trying to understand exactly what I am reacting to, and balancing that. In general I'm miserable and ecstatic all at once. Hope that helps.

[EmperorR]

For me I don't forget it's just that it's not as painful, it's like if you ever broke a arm and it heals you remember you broke your arm but it doesn't hurt anymore

[BCCA]

I don't think you ever just completely forget. I think that in time, the feelings just fade, or don't really effect your everyday life as much.

 

I was with my ex for about 5 years. We had a couple interactions afterward, but I pretty much didnt contact her, and she didnt contact me either.

 

I'm a big believer that youre never over an ex until you meet someone else. As long as there is some tiny thought in the back of your mind that they might call or want to reconcile, you're still kind of hung up. Usually for me, when I meet someone else I completely close off the idea of ever being around my ex again, but its almost impossible to put them out of your mind for good when youre single.

[Cora]

How long were you together? We were only together for eight months but he was my first love and it was really tough for me.

 

Did you keep in touch? No because he didn't even have the decency to tell me it was over. He just stopped calling, texting, IM'ing, etc... He just disappeared on me with no explaination at all. It was a LDR and he did this right before we were suppose to spend a weekend together. He totally just dropped off the face of the earth. It wasn't until I did some investigating and found out he was engaged to married to a girl he cheated on me once before with and begged me back because he said it was over. It just made me so angry that he was never going to tell me about this and was just going to marry her as if nothing was wrong. I guess he figured I would just go away if he disappeared. 2 months later is when it finally sank in that hey he really is engaged and is going to marry this girl and could care less about me. So I got angry and getting angry has helped me to get over him and that's when I finally got rid of everything I had that reminded me of him and it felt great after doing so.

 

Did you meet someone else that made you forget the ex? No there has been no one else. I did meet a guy a couple of weeks ago and we have been talking a lot and he wants to plan a date this weekend. So far that's all it's really been though is just someone really interesting and fun to talk to. I am just grateful that he showed me that I CAN enjoy another mans company. I never thought I could and if nothing else I will always be grateful to him for that because I have been in a deep depression....still working on that some days.

 

What do you think you could have done to make it shorter? I probably could of gotten over him a lot quicker if I would have stopped looking at his MySpace page every damn day! It got to be an obsessive habit for me until I finally said this has got to stop. I never believed it before but there is hope! You can and you do eventually get over them!!!!

[muneer2908]

it took her 1 month to dump me ... it took me 1.5 years to remove her very thought from my mind which used to be there every ongoing second ... however, still her dumping me haunts like a ghost sometimes ...

 

give it sometime .. you will for sure get over it ... don;t think of suicide

[a_f_w]

I was with my girlfriend for two years, and a few months - we were each other's first partner. She left me suddenly and in a fairly disagreeable way. Tomorrow it will be four full months since that moment, and it seems like a long, long time ago. I don't often care to revisist January/February in my memory.

 

I had my first good day after about a month. Then I had no bad days at all after about 8 weeks. Recently I've got a bit worked up about it all again, but it's nothing much, really.

I'll never ever forget her, or what happened - I still remember the people in my class when I first started school... so it's not she will ever drop from my memory.

 

I'll answer your questions clearly:

> I wish with her for two years and two months.

 

> At first I wanted lots of contact - it was all very sudden and I couldn't handle it at all. The first three weeks were characterised by me trying to scrape up whatever time with her I could (not a lot). Then I started a policy of no contact, and my last communication to her was over three months ago. She has sent a fair number of e-mails, texts and other communications in that time, none of which received a reply from me. I did recently contemplate speaking to her, but decided that no good could possibly come of it. I'm sure I will one day, perhaps in years to come.

 

> In a way - though not a romantic involvement. My girlfriend was my only friend, and I mean only friend. I knew absolutely nobody else in this city. I made a good female friend five or six weeks after the breakup, and I value her enormously. It was a great help to have someone around. Female company was something I missed, as well.

Then later on, in March, I did meet a woman with whom I am somewhat involved now, though I wasn't really expecting it. That was of less benefit to me than I might have expected, though. In some ways it makes me just miss my ex again.

 

> I can't really say I would want to make my recovery any quicker - I think I was very lucky indeed. The first month was by far the worst time of my life so far, but as winter passed into spring, my emotions followed suit, and I feel pretty good these days. It certainly still bothers me, for various reasons, but it doesn't affect my day-to-day life any more.

 

best of luck

[Ingenue]

I don't believe you ever forget your past loves or past relationships. You move on from them.

 

I was with my ex for 5 years. I took about 6 months to heal and become me again. It was a good amount of time. My ex and I have not really remained in contact except for a sporadic email here and there. I didn't need another relationship to move on. I just needed to move on using my own terms and when I let the break-up go mentally and emotionally, I knew I was ready to date again. For me, that was the key. I forgave all of the negative things that he done and when I did that, all of the petty things that had been holding me back, no longer mattered. He wasn't a part of my life anymore and so what he did or didn't do, say or didn't say, didn't matter either.

 

Whether there's anything I could have done to make it shorter is unclear to me. We all have our times to heal and our paths to heal. What works for some, may not work for others. All I can say is when you reach a mental peace about where you are and your past relationship, you'll have moved on.