Miguelrg Posted April 28, 2009 Share Posted April 28, 2009 Why do ex's go from loving you to not caring at all and even to the point of being cold and ignoring you? Is it guilt? hatred? what is it? My ex makes me feel worthless and i ever did was love her..... Link to post Share on other sites
SpanksTheMonkey Posted April 28, 2009 Share Posted April 28, 2009 Why do ex's go from loving you to not caring at all and even to the point of being cold and ignoring you? Is it guilt? hatred? what is it? My ex makes me feel worthless and i ever did was love her..... Who knows why people act like they act maybe its her way of cutting the ties to a relationship she no long has any feelings for. Its not easy to be in contact/friendly with our exes some times I think its a survival method more or less. To help us move on with our lives unless your ex was a total **** head then they deserve it... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Miguelrg Posted April 28, 2009 Author Share Posted April 28, 2009 i've gone minimal contact since the split, but until the money she has of mine moves internationally through our bank accounts i have to speak to her sometimes. but when i do she just makes me feel bad for her splitting up with me? like she's angry with me oh my word, relationships ey Link to post Share on other sites
JohnnyBlaze Posted April 28, 2009 Share Posted April 28, 2009 Who knows why people act like they act maybe its her way of cutting the ties to a relationship she no long has any feelings for. Its not easy to be in contact/friendly with our exes some times I think its a survival method more or less. To help us move on with our lives unless your ex was a total **** head then they deserve it... I think there's the answer. Many times, there are still some feelings; enough to make future contact painful, but not enough to justify staying in the relationship. As to why she's making you feel bad, it's that whole transfer thing. If she attacks you, then she can vent some of her own pain and maybe make herself feel even just a little bit better. Is it at your expense? Yep. But at this point in time, your happiness (or lack thereof) is not her concern. Link to post Share on other sites
Chinook Posted April 28, 2009 Share Posted April 28, 2009 Why do ex's go from loving you to not caring at all and even to the point of being cold and ignoring you? Is it guilt? hatred? what is it? My ex makes me feel worthless and i ever did was love her..... When someone dumps you, it's an entirely selfish action they undertake. They remove themselves from the relationship because they don't want in it any longer. They may justify it with it being also in your 'best interests' because they're not into you any longer. Fact is, hurting someone also makes them feel like crap. No one likes to be confronted with the fact they hurt another human being - so they walk away and they become impervious to the contact, pleas and talk of the person they hurt. It doesn't matter what you say or do, once it's over - it's over. Nothing you say will change it. It's their decision and you should take that person at their word. People often fall into the trap of thinking 'how could he/she be so loving one minute and so cold the next?' The fact is, it doesn't matter what they said or did prior to the breakup, the fact is... there has been a breakup. It's now broken! For me, once someone actually makes that decision and hurts me that way, they've relinquished any right they had to know what I am coping/feeling/thinking like. It's not their business any longer and for me 'no contact' is the best course of action. Like you, I had to have limited contact to get stuff returned to me - which he said he would return but which hasn't materialised yet. Following that, there will be no further opportunities for this person to pull me on a string or to hurt me. Stuff him! Link to post Share on other sites
bluewolf17 Posted April 28, 2009 Share Posted April 28, 2009 I know that the times I have been the dumper, I went "cold" for the sake of the other person. I remember one guy who I only dated for 5 months. I broke it off because I just wasn't invested in the relationship anymore, and I knew he was very much into it. I felt bad of course, and didn't want to hurt him, so I have him the long, drawn out break up talk. Of course he kept calling and texting at all hours. I knew he was hurting and confused, so I would try to explain it (all over again) but it gets to a point where sometimes you almost have to be mean. I wasn't cruel, but I told him flat out it would never happen, that I no longer had feelings for him, and to move on. It was all I could do to make him understand that "we" were in the past. He eventually got it, and confided in me years later that he was emberressed about how he acted, and thanked me for cutting him off! Link to post Share on other sites
PinkRibbon Posted April 28, 2009 Share Posted April 28, 2009 They go cold because they don't care about you. It is over in their mind and you are nothing better than a stranger on the street. In fact you are worse you are a stranger they have been intimate with and knows their secrets. Guilt no. Spare your feelings no. Spare their feelings no. They just don't care. Link to post Share on other sites
EmperorR Posted April 28, 2009 Share Posted April 28, 2009 BecUae your like a stranger to them. It's the same why now I go nc give them the cold shoulder . Link to post Share on other sites
Author Miguelrg Posted April 28, 2009 Author Share Posted April 28, 2009 I think she must still be madly in love with me to be so cold........ Just kiddin guys! Great responses though it's good to hear the cold hard truth, when the break up is fresh some people just don't want to listen ! NC alll the way! as soon as i get my money that is haha Link to post Share on other sites
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