how do i make him stay with me?

[Cheryl]

I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. Even though we are still young (both in our early 20's) I knew very early on that this guy is my soulmate. He makes me so happy and I have no idea what I would do if I lost him. We planned out our entire lives together, thought about when we'd get married, where we'll live, and even how many children we want to have. I am so in love with him, and i know he loves me too, or at least i know he did. But lately he's been acting kind of different, ever since we had a big fight about a month ago. He got mad at me because he found out I got drunk with my friends. We made up and he said he forgave me. Then last week I read something I wasn't supposed to read, which he wrote saying how he's really mad at me and wants out of the relationship, but feels bad because it would break my heart.

 

Well its too late because now I am totally crushed. I love this guy more than anything in the world. How could he still be mad at me because of that fight?? We've had other fights before but things always got back to normal right away. It doesn't make sense to me. He still tells me he loves me everyday. Was he just venting out his anger when he wrote that he wants out? Or does he really not love me anymore yet continuously lies to my face everyday?

 

PLEASE...any advice would be greatly appreciated. I am a smart, funny, attractive girl who doesn't want to get burned by the most important thing in my life...

[Miranda]

Hon-

 

You two need to TALK. Just say you were thinking about the arguement that ou both had and were wondering if he had really forgiven and forgotten about it.

 

Honestly, you can't keep anyone who doesn't want to stay. No matter what you do, you'll always be on shaky ground- and that's not what you want t build your relationship on.

 

I can't imagine why he would be so angry about you getting drunk with your friends...unless something more happened?

 

But, either way you two need to clear some issues ASAP.

 

Communication is the key.

[D.]

Again, I must agree with Miranda. Make sure that when you talk to him, you are kind and tactful and try not to be tearful. Be as rational as you can. I know it is difficult, but will get the best results.

 

As far as the note you found, I would not mention it to him, but it is my gut feeling that he was just venting. I could be wrong, but that is my guess.

 

Once, I walked in on my husband in his early 20's (and me, too) when he did not see me. It was after a fight with him. He was talking to him self in the mirror and said "if you don't like it here, why don't you just go back home to your Daddy!" I cannot tell you how upset that made me. He then saw that I was there and shocked and explained how one vents in such a manner. That is what I base my opinion upon.

 

I say follow Miranda's advice and do so in a calm, rational manner and get it out in the open and resolved once and for all.

 

Best of luck.

[Billy the Kid]

well first off you need to know that you can never "make someone love you" take my word for it I have tried too many times and it dosen't work... second you are so young, not that it matters but I will bet you a paycheck that you will have many relationships before you are 25 or 30... it's just part of learning about life and love....sometimes you will be on the other end of the stick...remember always be true to your self, and that it is always better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all....hope things work out.

Again, I must agree with Miranda. Make sure that when you talk to him, you are kind and tactful and try not to be tearful. Be as rational as you can. I know it is difficult, but will get the best results. As far as the note you found, I would not mention it to him, but it is my gut feeling that he was just venting. I could be wrong, but that is my guess. Once, I walked in on my husband in his early 20's (and me, too) when he did not see me. It was after a fight with him. He was talking to him self in the mirror and said "if you don't like it here, why don't you just go back home to your Daddy!" I cannot tell you how upset that made me. He then saw that I was there and shocked and explained how one vents in such a manner. That is what I base my opinion upon. I say follow Miranda's advice and do so in a calm, rational manner and get it out in the open and resolved once and for all. Best of luck.

[Tony T]

Judge a person on how they treat you and not what they write in private. People say and write a lot of things they don't mean. They even do things they don't mean.

 

However, my rule is that I treat people with kindness, consideration, and respect always. I expect them to treat men the same way. When they don't, I'm outta there.

 

If you weren't supposed to read it, then ignore it.

 

If you talk to him and he says that is absolutely the way he feels now, give him a goodbye kiss and be on your way. If he says he felt that way at the moment but things have changed, hang around.

 

Dudes in their early 20's are pretty fickly and prone to move around a lot, from lady to lady. You've got some work ahead of you if you want to keep him around but it is possible.

[Princess]

Dear Cheryl,

 

It sounds like you two need to have a long talk. If you're suspecting that your relationship is having a problem, then you can't just wait around like it's not there. Face up and tell him what you saw. Ask him if its true. Ask him how he feels about the relationship. Don't be crushed if he has a negative answer. Remember, both of you are still young. You have your whole life ahead of you. If you want it to work out, you have to talk to him about it. Don't let that sort of thing just hang there.

 

Good Luck,

 

Princess