If you or MM died, would you be able to attend funeral?

[MeaganRaye]

Again...WHY should I forgive him?

 

You're not giving me any reasons why that has to happen.

 

Again...a BS has to forgive their WS if they want to continue the marriage. And they've normally had a long standing bond of love between them.

 

OM and I have no "bond" of any kind. Nor do I have a REASON to forgive him. I don't owe him anything, nor does he have any kind of "rights" when it comes to my wife, my family, or anything pertaining to them.

 

WHY should he be forgiven and given the PRIVILEDGE of being treated like a family member or friend, when his only contribution to things was to attempt the destruction of my marriage?

 

Your marriage was already on destruction or already destructed by the time the OM was in the picture. Why else would your wife look for sex/love elsewhere? I know it's easy to blame to OP but really, you need some self actualization. In some cases, the spouses are separated and not even living together. I'm sick of everyone making it seem like they had the perfect marriage until X came along

[MeaganRaye]

LOL. Its great that you do a lot of reading, but you are not taking the relevant parts of the story and applying them.

 

Biggie was MURDERED AND he was a FAMOUS entertainer. Half of the women their were probably his OW at some point. His funeral was highly publicized. And it was so full and overflowing that Faith wouldn't have known if the woman was there or not.

 

Now, THIS is funny.

Were they not real people with feelings just like everybody else? Faith said in her book that she personally INVITED the OW to her funeral, she did not have to do that. I was just using that as an example but there are many non famous people who have done similar things that Faith had done.

[NoIDidn't]

LMFAOROTF!!!!!

 

LOLOLOL!!!!!

 

self-actualization is the achievement of one's full potential through creativity and a grasp of the REAL WORLD. it has nothing to do with this conversation.

 

LOL is almost sad.

[bentnotbroken]

LOL. Its great that you do a lot of reading, but you are not taking the relevant parts of the story and applying them.

 

Biggie was MURDERED AND he was a FAMOUS entertainer. Half of the women their were probably his OW at some point. His funeral was highly publicized. And it was so full and overflowing that Faith wouldn't have known if the woman was there or not.

 

Now, THIS is funny.

 

 

 

And he and Faith were legally separated and she was involve with someone else herself. Lil Kim needs compassion and a new stylest, the harlot look is so last decade:lmao::lmao:

[bentnotbroken]

LOLOLOL!!!!!

 

self-actualization is the achievement of one's full potential through creativity and a grasp of the REAL WORLD. it has nothing to do with this conversation.

 

LOL is almost sad.

 

 

 

Freud would love this.

[NoIDidn't]

Does anyone notice that Meagan is the only OP here trying to fight this case?

 

Dare I say that MOST OPs know that the Betrayed and THEIR family planned the funeral and that they dare not show up uninvited?

 

Meagan, your logic is very twisted. I hope it doesn't get you hurt somehow/more than you've already been.

[Owl]

Your marriage was already on destruction or already destructed by the time the OM was in the picture. Why else would your wife look for sex/love elsewhere? I know it's easy to blame to OP but really, you need some self actualization.

 

This is hilarious.

 

You have absolutely NO IDEA on the state of my marriage at the time of my wife's emotional affair. The causes of the issues that led to her choices, or the situation in general.

 

You're GUESSING.

 

Guess what...you guessed wrong.

 

My wife got to the state she was in due to NOTHING wrong with the marriage, but tons of her OWN issues (medical and emotional) that had nothing to do with our marriage or our own personal relationship with each other. I was doing everything possible to find and address whatever issues I could during that time leading up to, during, and after the affair.

 

OM was an opportunist. A lonely guy who saw something I had that he wanted...and attempted, deliberately and intentionally to get it.

 

BTW...my marriage is five years recovered past this horrible event. We're doing GREAT.

 

So the funny thing is that I'm actually not all that angry at OM at this point.

 

I just don't get where you seem to think that somehow he's "owed" anything in all of this?

 

Being an OW/OM doesn't entitle you to anything. EXPECIALLY as related to anything to do with family/friends/etc... Just a concept that you might consider.

 

If you engage in a secret, illicit relationship...you're going to be relegated to the role of being a secret, illicit person who is "persona non grata" in the WS's "open" family life.

[bentnotbroken]

Your marriage was already on destruction or already destructed by the time the OM was in the picture. Why else would your wife look for sex/love elsewhere? I know it's easy to blame to OP but really, you need some self actualization. In some cases, the spouses are separated and not even living together. I'm sick of everyone making it seem like they had the perfect marriage until X came along

 

 

You really should do some reading before you post. Owl's situation isn't quite what you think.

[MeaganRaye]

This is hilarious.

 

You have absolutely NO IDEA on the state of my marriage at the time of my wife's emotional affair. The causes of the issues that led to her choices, or the situation in general.

 

You're GUESSING.

 

Guess what...you guessed wrong.

 

My wife got to the state she was in due to NOTHING wrong with the marriage, but tons of her OWN issues (medical and emotional) that had nothing to do with our marriage or our own personal relationship with each other. I was doing everything possible to find and address whatever issues I could during that time leading up to, during, and after the affair.

 

OM was an opportunist. A lonely guy who saw something I had that he wanted...and attempted, deliberately and intentionally to get it.

 

BTW...my marriage is five years recovered past this horrible event. We're doing GREAT.

 

So the funny thing is that I'm actually not all that angry at OM at this point.

 

I just don't get where you seem to think that somehow he's "owed" anything in all of this?

 

Being an OW/OM doesn't entitle you to anything. EXPECIALLY as related to anything to do with family/friends/etc... Just a concept that you might consider.

 

If you engage in a secret, illicit relationship...you're going to be relegated to the role of being a secret, illicit person who is "persona non grata" in the WS's "open" family life.

Well, what happened why did your wife cheat on you?

[NoIDidn't]

And he and Faith were legally separated and she was involve with someone else herself. Lil Kim needs compassion and a new stylest, the harlot look is so last decade:lmao::lmao:

 

LOLOLOL!!!!

 

I'm saying. Bringing Biggie into a serious conversation is laughable.

 

The amount of women that came out and said that they were sleeping with him before, during, and after the marriage to Faith would fill this entire forum with whiners.

 

LOL is still feeling sad, though. But I can't help but laugh to keep from crying.

[herenow]

Does anyone notice that Meagan is the only OP here trying to fight this case?

 

Dare I say that MOST OPs know that the Betrayed and THEIR family planned the funeral and that they dare not show up uninvited?

 

Meagan, your logic is very twisted. I hope it doesn't get you hurt somehow/more than you've already been.

 

And why is it that Meagan feels the BW should have compassion for the OW and let her attend the funeral when the OW had no respect or compassion for the BW while she was stupping (spelling?) her H?

[MeaganRaye]

LOLOLOL!!!!

 

I'm saying. Bringing Biggie into a serious conversation is laughable.

 

The amount of women that came out and said that they were sleeping with him before, during, and after the marriage to Faith would fill this entire forum with whiners.

 

LOL is still feeling sad, though. But I can't help but laugh to keep from crying.

What does it matter? Faith still invited the OW to the funeral. That's the point.

[herenow]

LOLOLOL!!!!

 

I'm saying. Bringing Biggie into a serious conversation is laughable.

 

The amount of women that came out and said that they were sleeping with him before, during, and after the marriage to Faith would fill this entire forum with whiners.

 

LOL is still feeling sad, though. But I can't help but laugh to keep from crying.

 

OK, Meagan, if your MM is a big recording artist who sleeps around with many OW and they all plan to attend, I say go for it.

[NoIDidn't]

What does it matter? Faith still invited the OW to the funeral. That's the point.

 

No, the point is that you are talking about an UNINVITED OP showing up at the funeral of a former WS.

 

 

Faith invited her, great. Faith also knew that the woman knew him for longer than SHE did. Again, this apples and oranges thing.

 

Uninvited vs Invited.

 

Crashing a funeral shows a complete lack of respect for the grieving. This kind of thing gets people arrested. But you obviously don't know this, yet.

[Dexter Morgan]

Now, the OM, has feelings too and I think it's unfair to make such a scene at your own wife's funeral.

 

If the affair and the OM was known, the OM would be making the scene by showing up and basically spitting in the widowers face.

 

If the spouse doesn't know, well, then they don't know. But just as it was despicable enough to bed down a MM/MW, it would be highly despicable to attend the funeral.

 

It's best to be cordial and realize that he loved her too

 

LMFAO....you are delusional. Ya, thats exactly what someone that was betrayed would think:rolleyes:

 

 

and let him get a last look at her so he can get some sort of closure.

 

The OW/OMs need for closure is not the spouses concern. The OW/OM can mourn in their own way...send an unsigned bouquet.

 

And anyway, why should the betrayed spouse be cordial to you? You already said you owe nothing and don't care about the woman of any man you are screwing.....so why should the spouse be cordial to you?

[OWoman]

Do you ever wonder if something tragic were to happen to the MM, (critical or fatal car accident, murder, illness) do you know if anyone will be able to contact you so you can visit him or even attend the funeral? Surely if its a secret, the wife or the children or any of the family wont know you so they can't contact you

 

Say if you died, do you think MM would attend your funeral or burial?

 

I'm just curious because if the relationship is kept secret and something tragic happened it would be awful for either one of you to not be able to give your last respects to one another. Or what if you don't find out until it's too late and they've been dead for months

 

If my H had died while still married to his xW, there would probably have been two "funerals" - one small intimate one of just his (now x)W and kids, and another memorial service organised by his family (parents, siblings, cousins, etc) which would have been attended by friends, colleagues, neighbours, etc. I'd certainly have been included in the latter by his family - though to avoid awkwardness they may well not have included the BW.

 

If I'd died, he'd certainly have attended any funeral for me.

 

Funerals are about THE FAMILY, not just the widow / widower. The parents, siblings and kids have as much (and in some cases more) right to mourn and honour their dearly departed - and out of respect for THEM I'd certainly have attended, as they (and he) would have wanted.

[Owl]

Please take the time to do a search for threads started by my > than 4 years ago. I'm far too lazy to type the whole story out again.

 

Bottom line is that my wife refused treatment for depression (which was both medical and situational, due to her bad choices concerning work and home life), and basically retreated into online gaming and stopped putting any effort into our marriage.

 

I was the one putting all the effort into trying to figure out what the "issues" were and trying to get our marriage back to the wonderful times we'd had for 17 years prior to all of this happening.

 

For details...take a look for my old posts.

 

So the deal is...I'm not nearly as angry as I might come across.

 

But the bottom line is that an OW/OM has no "rights" when it comes to anything like this. Nor does the BS "owe" them anything along what you're suggesting either.

[GorillaTheater]

And why is it that Meagan feels the BW should have compassion for the OW and let her attend the funeral when the OW had no respect or compassion for the BW while she was stupping (spelling?) her H?

 

I'm under the impression that Meagan doesn't remotely care about about anyone but herself, and is genuinely puzzled over the fact that anyone would care about the feelings of others.

[bentnotbroken]

What does it matter? Faith still invited the OW to the funeral. That's the point.

 

 

The point it is an extreme situation. One of celebrity, infamy, media, and publicity. It isn't the normal situation, since both their affairs were public knowledge. There was nothing secret there. That's not real life for most affairs. Get back to the real world. Not some contrived notion of what others should do. The AP shouldn't have been involved in and A, did it stop them...no. So it behoves the logically thinking person that a BS should some how do what an AP would think is the right thing to do:confused:

[Owl]

And why is it that Meagan feels the BW should have compassion for the OW and let her attend the funeral when the OW had no respect or compassion for the BW while she was stupping (spelling?) her H?

 

This is the same point I've been trying to make as well.

[herenow]

What does it matter? Faith still invited the OW to the funeral. That's the point.

 

The point is, you are putting yourself where you don't belong and expecting people to welcome you. No dice honey.

[NoIDidn't]

It made her look good in the press. THAT is what that was most likely all about.

 

Their marriage was over.

 

In fact, Biggie's mother was LIVID over the fact that Faith even got possession of the body to plan the funeral if my memory serves me right.

 

This situation was nothing near a typical OW/MM situation. So it doesn't make any sense that she would think this proves that some wives are cordial to OWs.

 

They weren't reconciling. They had both moved on. Faith had nothing to lose by inviting the whole lot of them. And there were a WHOLE LOT of them.

 

I wonder if THEY started fighting each other at the funeral. LOL

[jj33]

The more I think about it the idea of walking into a BSs funeral sickens me. Its just so cruel and so selfish. Why inflict pain on a family that is grieving?

 

It doesnt matter who loved who the most or why they stayed or left. The point is the family is holding the funeral to mourn THEIR loss and people are coming to comfort them and share in their grieving.

 

Its simply not about the OP in any way shape or form.

[NoIDidn't]

Read some of the other threads. You're impression is right on the money.

 

I agree. The lights are on.....

[herenow]

The more I think about it the idea of walking into a BSs funeral sickens me. Its just so cruel and so selfish. Why inflict pain on a family that is grieving?

 

It doesnt matter who loved who the most or why they stayed or left. The point is the family is holding the funeral to mourn THEIR loss and people are coming to comfort them and share in their grieving.

 

Its simply not about the OP in any way shape or form.

 

I agree again! That's 2 for us just today!