No more Mr. Nice Guy

[You'reasian]

Alright, so I'm a 25 year old male...just graduated college a year ago, I have a decent pad, I like to work out, I'm not terrible looking...from the outside, everything seems fine. I'd like to think I'm somewhat of a catch. Except I've had a huge problem ever since I was a kid:

 

99.9% of girls I've met LOVE me...but just as Rob, their awesome guy friend. Strictly platonic, and nothing more.

 

It's annoying. I've never had a serious relationship because of this. I think this "condition" is caused by a few things...for one, I'm not tall by any means. Only 5' 3 1/2". Sounds silly, but I'm convinced this is a big factor. To make matters worse, I'm also really nice and friendly. You don't know how often I hear, "Dude, Rob...you're the nicest guy I've ever met. The last decent person left on earth. Everyone I know says it, too."

 

A girl canceled our date last weekend at the last minute without remorse, and now I've just HAD IT. I don't wanna be this nice guy anymore.

 

I'd love to hear from any guys that have made their transition from the so-called "nice guy syndrome" to being a bit more cocky, a bit more of a jerk that girls melt for. Preferably from the vertically challenged. I need your help, guys. I can't live like this anymore.

 

Women like guys of all sizes and shapes. Fact.

 

You could be the nicest guy they've ever met and that's awesome, but then you've also got to have that zing - not just zing, but your zing.

 

I'm talking about that thing that makes them want to put their hands on you. I can't explain it in words, but the impression you leave or the way you are should make them want to rip off your pants and ride you till sunrise.

 

Work on your communication - that's where its at.

[purgatori]

You can either be bitter about your situation, or try to improve it. Your choice.

 

There's no improving my "situation." Androgenic hormones have already done their damage, quite unbidden by me, insofar as the masculinization of my body is concerned which makes me ineligible to partner with those sensible women who prefer their own sex. At the same time, my gender and physical sex are discordant, in that I am psychologically, emotionally, and behaviorally female, and that precludes me from participation in heterosocial coupling (especially given my extremely high "standards"). Not that I really want to enter into the heterosexual economy of dominance and submission and all the other BS, but yes, I am bitter about my own biological destiny which has assured that I will never enjoy the company of women, whereas testosterone-addled nimrods who only value women slightly more than a hole in the wall, -- and only because there is a greater status-raising effect that comes with conquering the former, -- are constantly beset by women. I guess one improvement, and a pretty damn good one when I look at it reasonably, would be to simply off myself, but then the meatheads will truly have taken everything from me, even if what's left to take is worthless anyway.

[kizik]

I'm gonna prescribe an eighth of weed and a cool plastic green bong.

[amerikajin]

There's no improving my "situation." Androgenic hormones have already done their damage, quite unbidden by me, insofar as the masculinization of my body is concerned which makes me ineligible to partner with those sensible women who prefer their own sex. At the same time, my gender and physical sex are discordant, in that I am psychologically, emotionally, and behaviorally female, and that precludes me from participation in heterosocial coupling (especially given my extremely high "standards"). Not that I really want to enter into the heterosexual economy of dominance and submission and all the other BS, but yes, I am bitter about my own biological destiny which has assured that I will never enjoy the company of women, whereas testosterone-addled nimrods who only value women slightly more than a hole in the wall, -- and only because there is a greater status-raising effect that comes with conquering the former, -- are constantly beset by women. I guess one improvement, and a pretty damn good one when I look at it reasonably, would be to simply off myself, but then the meatheads will truly have taken everything from me, even if what's left to take is worthless anyway.

 

Well, I guess you're f*cked. There's always self-stimulation, virtual sex and perhaps prostitution.

[EmperorR]

women do like nice guys, point is not all do.

[purgatori]

Well, I guess you're f*cked. There's always self-stimulation, virtual sex and perhaps prostitution.

 

Because of course sex is the only, or even main, privation that someone who is not involved in a relationship with a woman endures. Typical male scum.

[JanaJ]

Here's an excerpt from a blog post. It's about what guys do and how it gets them into the friend zone. I totally agree:

 

Mistake 1: Being Her Therapist

Girls sort guys into four categories:

• Long term relationship (husband material)
  
• Short term relationship (Few weeks, summer flings, one night stands.)
  
• Friend / Jokester (The guy she goes to when she wants to be entertained)
  
• Therapist (The guy she goes to when she is having a bad day)

 

By being a therapist, listening to her problems, and trying to “comfort her”, you fall into the “therapist” class. Now I’m not saying that you shouldn’t listen to her, but there are certain topics that shouldn’t be talked about. Ex-boyfriends and the time that you got beat up by your little sister (DLV) are two of them. Many guys play the therapist cards but don’t play their attraction cards. Therapy doesn’t attract a girl, but it could make you her friend. If you notice, many good looking girls go for the “bad guy.” You can be sure that this guy doesn’t listen to her problems.

 

Mistake 2: Buying her things

Many guys seem to think that buying girls things will get her to like them. Buying a girl something, especially before you are seeing her, is a big mistake....

 

There are a couple other mistakes guys make that the blog mentions. You can check out the blog. google "college guide to dating".

 

Hope this helps!

[amerikajin]

Because of course sex is the only, or even main, privation that someone who is not involved in a relationship with a woman endures. Typical male scum.

 

Okay, so maybe that was a tad simplistic on my part. Forgive me -- I'm a male after all.

 

Regardless, I think the main point I'm making is that you're responsible for your own sense of satisfaction in life. I know sometimes it's easier than at others, and for some people, it's easier than for others. But I've known severely disabled people who will, in all likelihood, never have intimate relations with others and manage to suck it up. What the Christ are you complaining about? Change what you can and accept the things you cannot change.

[kostoronto]

I'm not a bad guy, but I'm not a nice guy by any stretch of the imagination.

 

Guys have to be chameleons. There's a time and place to be a nice guy, a bad boy, a funny guy, a serious guy, etc. I met my current girlfriend at a party and I was joking about having sex with her within the first 10 minutes. That turned her on enough to give me her number. Women are like cars, you're never going to get anywhere unless you turn them on first.

 

On our first date, I was the funny/casual guy. Every so often I would subtly remind her that we were on a date by showing my fangs and teasing her or by using innuendo.

 

Another thing: which roller coaster is more fun? The one with high drops and high velocity or the tea cups? Of course the former. Picking up girls is the same thing. It's ok if they get angry at you, as long as you're able to win them back. You'll be more memorable if you invoke some sort of emotion.

 

Sorry if that had no flow, I'm kind of sick and not thinking straight haha

[Mary3]

This is my observation :

 

Jerks are usually very handsome and they can be whatever way they want to be and still get the girl. They don't have to be * nice *. They just simply wait until the hottest girl comes along ..

 

Women who like jerks : Women who are attracted to Jerks are likely attractive themselves and attractive women are rarely seen with * nice ~nice average guys . It's not that jerks are good for any woman but Jerks honestly have a *who gives a cra_ attitude and if you don't like it , oh well"

 

I've dated Jerks , nicey nice guys and good guys. I will take the good guy over the jerk and the mamby pamby nice guy.

 

Why being too nice doesnt work : If you are too sugary sweet nice you are like a wet dishrag collecting germs on the counter. You won't get much respect or notice.

 

If you show you have a backbone even if you are very short , everyone respects that. Yea sure bigger guys could kick your patoot and girls can ignore you but what you HAVE that stands out is your KEY. Are you funny ? Talented ? Sexy as hell ? Passionate ? What is different about you that makes a woman want to lay down with you ?

 

I've went out with short hot guys and they try hard !

 

Not if he is not confidant though....so man up

[Woggle]

Just be yourself and a woman can take it or leave it. Don't mistreat them but only go out of your way to spoil a woman that truly does deserve it.

[amerikajin]

Just be yourself and a woman can take it or leave it. Don't mistreat them but only go out of your way to spoil a woman that truly does deserve it.

 

Words to live by.

[purgatori]

This is my observation :

 

Jerks are usually very handsome and they can be whatever way they want to be and still get the girl. They don't have to be * nice *. They just simply wait until the hottest girl comes along ..

 

Women who like jerks : Women who are attracted to Jerks are likely attractive themselves and attractive women are rarely seen with * nice ~nice average guys . It's not that jerks are good for any woman but Jerks honestly have a *who gives a cra_ attitude and if you don't like it , oh well"

 

I've dated Jerks , nicey nice guys and good guys. I will take the good guy over the jerk and the mamby pamby nice guy.

 

Why being too nice doesnt work : If you are too sugary sweet nice you are like a wet dishrag collecting germs on the counter. You won't get much respect or notice.

 

If you show you have a backbone even if you are very short , everyone respects that. Yea sure bigger guys could kick your patoot and girls can ignore you but what you HAVE that stands out is your KEY. Are you funny ? Talented ? Sexy as hell ? Passionate ? What is different about you that makes a woman want to lay down with you ?

 

I've went out with short hot guys and they try hard !

 

Not if he is not confidant though....so man up

 

Man up?? You can go to hell with your "man up". Manliness is not a virtue, and therefore not something that should be cultivated. And anything that is attracted to manliness is not worth attracting because it is psychologically deranged.

 

Okay, so maybe that was a tad simplistic on my part. Forgive me -- I'm a male after all.

 

Regardless, I think the main point I'm making is that you're responsible for your own sense of satisfaction in life. I know sometimes it's easier than at others, and for some people, it's easier than for others. But I've known severely disabled people who will, in all likelihood, never have intimate relations with others and manage to suck it up. What the Christ are you complaining about? Change what you can and accept the things you cannot change.

 

Oh, I've accepted it alright, in the sense that I have faced the fact that the continuation of my loneliness is inevitable, but I'm not going to delude myself into construing my situation as being a positive one, nor will I deny my desires.

[Mary3]

Man up?? You can go to hell with your "man up". Manliness is not a virtue, and therefore not something that should be cultivated. And anything that is attracted to manliness is not worth attracting because it is psychologically deranged.

 

 

 

Oh, I've accepted it alright, in the sense that I have faced the fact that the continuation of my loneliness is inevitable, but I'm not going to delude myself into construing my situation as being a positive one, nor will I deny my desires.

 

Most women are attracted to manly~ness. I do not find skinny effeminate males sexy. I like men strong .

[purgatori]

Most women are attracted to manly~ness. I do not find skinny effeminate males sexy. I like men strong .

 

I am already quite familiar with how masochistic straight females think, and as I said, I regard them as deranged since there is nothing about manliness that could be considered even vaguely attractive, let-alone an excellence. This especially true of the aesthetic dimension, in that men to me are nothing more than a corruption of the female form, and the more masculine their appearance, the greater a deviation from beauty they represent. I have no time for anyone who is attracted to such abominations.

[Mary3]

I am already quite familiar with how masochistic straight females think, and as I said, I regard them as deranged since there is nothing about manliness that could be considered even vaguely attractive, let-alone an excellence. This especially true of the aesthetic dimension, in that men to me are nothing more than a corruption of the female form, and the more masculine their appearance, the greater a deviation from beauty they represent. I have no time for anyone who is attracted to such abominations.

 

Are you a boy or a girl ?

[purgatori]

Are you a boy or a girl ?

 

I am biologically male, unfortunately.

[Mary3]

I am biologically male, unfortunately.

 

It seems you use this site to spew hatred about male and females.

[Mary3]

I am biologically male, unfortunately.

 

So you were born in a males body but feel female ?

 

I have a transgendered male friend who makes a beautiful female and hangin out with him you would think he was a girl. He had the shots and has female breasts.

[purgatori]

It seems you use this site to spew hatred about male and females.

 

Only about males and those attracted to them -- lesbians are awesome. And if you were in my position, that is to inhabit the body of a sexy you hate, and to be relegated to scraping from the bottom of the heterosexual women barrel if you wanted to be with anyone at all, you might find that you had a bit of hatred to "spew" about as well. Not that I envy you, as I would rather be gnawed to death by rats over the course of several weeks than spend one day being attracted to men.

 

So you were born in a males body but feel female ?

 

I have a transgendered male friend who makes a beautiful female and hangin out with him you would think he was a girl. He had the shots and has female breasts.

Precisely. But I would not make a "beautiful female", as I do not believe that the technology currently exists to correct the sort of damage that has been done to me by androgenic hormones.

[Mike86]

Back to the subject...

 

I am a "bad guy" and I don't get girls. I'm 6'3'' 265lbs and muscular. I work in the recieving bay of a hardware store lifting heavy boxes, driving forklifts, basically a "man's job." I am completely indifferent to my customers' problems and often rude. None of this has landed me a decent girlfriend.

 

The only girls I seem to attract are 'bad girls' or basically sluts. Girls that want to try out the big boy for a few weeks. From my point of view its the thin effeminate guys that get the best girls. These guys seem to get stamped out of an American Eagle factory.

[Mary3]

Only about males and those attracted to them -- lesbians are awesome. And if you were in my position, that is to inhabit the body of a sexy you hate, and to be relegated to scraping from the bottom of the heterosexual women barrel if you wanted to be with anyone at all, you might find that you had a bit of hatred to "spew" about as well. Not that I envy you, as I would rather be gnawed to death by rats over the course of several weeks than spend one day being attracted to men.

 

Precisely. But I would not make a "beautiful female", as I do not believe that the technology currently exists to correct the sort of damage that has been done to me by androgenic hormones.

 

What if a man made a pass at you ?

[purgatori]

What if a man made a pass at you ?

 

Several already have, and it made me sick.

[Mary3]

Back to the subject...

 

I am a "bad guy" and I don't get girls. I'm 6'3'' 265lbs and muscular. I work in the recieving bay of a hardware store lifting heavy boxes, driving forklifts, basically a "man's job." I am completely indifferent to my customers' problems and often rude. None of this has landed me a decent girlfriend.

 

The only girls I seem to attract are 'bad girls' or basically sluts. Girls that want to try out the big boy for a few weeks. From my point of view its the thin effeminate guys that get the best girls. These guys seem to get stamped out of an American Eagle factory.

 

I am very attracted to men of your description. Some nice long term relationships developed Thin or even normal men don't do it for me. He needs to have lots of meat and def some muscle under there...

[Mary3]

Several already have, and it made me sick.

 

How would you describe your outward appearance ? I'm not being judgemental .