ilikegirls Posted May 1, 2009 Share Posted May 1, 2009 first im gonna tell you i am extremly shy..and i have no idea how i became friends with a girl that is way out of my league im like a 3, and she is like a 7 i knew her for about a year now, but we became really close since the time she broke up with her BF (6-7 months ago) i asked her out she told me she like me more than a friend, but doesnt want to go out now...for some strange reason i was ok with this but now she is back with her BF... THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED: she went on spring break he started talking to her again, last day of spring break the decided to get back together somethings she told me: "I really did like more than a friend" "I told him how I still had feelings for him, but there were things holding me back, including you" "I should have mentioned how I had leftover feelings for him when you first told me how you felt about me" "I know you and I were never really a couple or anything, but I kinda feel like I cheated on you or something. And now I guess I understand how much I really meant to you." "I am truly sorry for everything I have ever put you through. You don't deserve any of it, especially after having had treated me as more than a princess." i havent talked/ or really seen her in about a month i used to see her everyday, multiple time..i spent all my time with her Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted May 1, 2009 Share Posted May 1, 2009 You need to continue to distance yourself from her. She's setting you up to be there for her when she re-breaks up with her bf. She's assuming by her telling you that stuff, you'll always be waiting in the wings so to speak. My guess is she's telling you a load of crap. What does she care? If she really had that strong of feelings for you, she'd have ditched the ex and moved on with you. But she didn't. It's a mind game and when she comes crying for you, just walk the other way. Link to post Share on other sites
messiah Posted May 1, 2009 Share Posted May 1, 2009 yep WTRanger is right ya know. people like having their ego fed. it makes her feel good that you are there for her when she is in the **** with her bf. DONT BE THAT SORT OF GUY! when she gets in the **** with her bf again and she comes crying to you be strong and tell her to get lost. Find a girl who is into you as you are to her. Dont waste your time on this girl. Believe me i know i just been through it all. Link to post Share on other sites
paddington bear Posted May 2, 2009 Share Posted May 2, 2009 I agree with the above posters - however, from what she's said to you I think she did genuinely know she was stringing you along a bit and was confused and was sorry for it. However, you filled an emotional gap for her until she could get her ex back and now she's got her ex back you have, as you said, been well and truly dumped. And I bet you feel weird, because she wasn't your girlfriend you can't tell all your friends you've been dumped and get any sympathy because she wasn't your girlfriend, so you're expected to simply suck up the rejection without any emotional support. Don't you think you deserve better treatment than this? If you were truly friends then you would still be friends whether she had a boyfriend or not. I'm in the same situation you are in now, been dumped by a guy who used me in exactly the same way until he got back with his ex and now he expects me to be all happy that I never see him or talk to him any more and it hurts like hell. Worst of all is I think it was rather nice and generous of me to agree to be friends with him when I wanted more, when I should have told him to f*** off, and after putting up with being seen as a stop-gap between ex and getting back with ex, and being seen as someone so unattractive that he'd never want to sleep with, thus ruining my self-esteem and then after still being his friend despite all of that generosity towards him, I now get dropped in favour of his ex. I knew this would happen, but I envisaged that he would get together with some other girl, other than me that is. His ex is a horrible, nasty piece of work and despite me being well and truly pissed off with him, there's still enough care there for him to feel very sad that he ended up back with her. If I was going to lose him, which was inevitable, and I knew it, I would have preferred to lose him to someone who at least treated him with some respect. But there you go, as I mentioned in another thread, nice guys like nasty, controlling bitches and can't seem to escape from their clutches. I now think he's a selfish bastard, you need to get to that stage too. Mourn the loss of someone who was an important part of your life, deal with the utter loneliness of the gaping chasm that she used to fill, then you'll eventually get angry with her for making you feel so miserable and then hopefully eventually you will reach total apathy towards her, you won't care what she does, who she's with and then you will be happy again. I'm still awaiting the apathy stage in my situation...can't wait, then I can move on and find someone who does want to be with me. Learn from this, never agree to be friends with someone you want more from ever ever ever. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilikegirls Posted May 2, 2009 Author Share Posted May 2, 2009 ^she is the one who broke up with her EX.. she told me it was because they always had arguments about me anyway-- my friend stole my phone and started to text her he said that: i missed her, and i am over it and i still want to be friends, and that i am happy for her, but sad how we arent friends anymore this is what she said back: "she kinda expected us to not talk anymore", "she hated how we are", "she is glad we see eye to eye", "she missed her bestfriend bunches" im not completely over what she did to me, in the back of my mind i still want to be with her and im hoping that after she is done with this guy, she will come back to me. but i have to keep telling myself that it will never be..i dont think i can hang out with her again, or even have a legit conversation with her Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilikegirls Posted May 6, 2009 Author Share Posted May 6, 2009 ^^help/bump^^ Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 You won't fully get over what she did to you for a while. It's not something that goes away in a matter of days. It sounds as if you already know the answer as to what you need to do. You just need to find your core strength and avoid this girl at all costs. Every time you interact with her you reset your progress to zero. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilikegirls Posted May 14, 2009 Author Share Posted May 14, 2009 one of her friends came up to me and said: girl: _____ wanted me to ask you if u are going to...? me: i idk, maybe girl: u should text ____ about it. me: uhh.. girl: text her. me: maybe (i didnt) she tried to contact me a few times, but i dont usually respond THIS SERIOUSLY SUCKS i miss her terribly, haven't talked to her in about a month. but it would be so awkward if i were to hang out with her cuz everything i want to say, i cant say anymore plus all the heartache she put me through. but i cant help but remembering all the fun times we had together, and i become sad/depressed that she is gone and sort of angry at myself, that i let her go..and i should of told her how i felt earlier Link to post Share on other sites
Odyssey Posted May 17, 2009 Share Posted May 17, 2009 ilikegirls, I'm sorry to hear about the pain your going through right now. I'd been there myself... stupid rebound - she too ran back to her abusive ex bf. Fantasizing all the 'what ifs' and the happy times, won't get her back. If she really wanted you, she wouldn't of dumped you in the 1st place. Look at it this way, if she's not putting time and effort for you, then you shouldn't either. Just keep yourself busy with friends, hobbies, etc (whatever makes you happy)... it really helped me. Link to post Share on other sites
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