"needing Time And Space"

[Evanescence]

I've been doing a lot of thinking today (cuz of course it is on my mind and i can't get rid of it, so i may as well give it my attention right?). You're lucky that you've been able to say all that you feel you have to say. Sometimes i feel like that, but my mood has been changing so much lately, that at other times i feel like i have SO MUCH to say! Do you ever feel like that? I don't know if you've said previously, but i was wondering how long it was that you left her alone before she came back. So far for me it's been 2 1/2 weeks, and no phone calls or anything. I'm wondering if he's even missing me, or if he even cares. Or maybe it'll just take time before he realizes what he's done. He's still calling it a break, even though he said he wants to see other people. And i stupidly said that i may wait for him (although i also said that if someone comes my way and sparks my interest, i'll give them the time of day). Maybe it was a mistake to hint that i may be waiting around.. i dunno. I'm almost thinking that i should call him and tell him that i'm moving on... maybe it will open his eyes? but then that would involve me calling him and NOT leaving him alone like i should be. He said that "what will be will be" and i've decided that i completly believe that now. Fate brought us together three times in the past (long story) so why not once more right? But anyway, how long were you broken up?

It's totally up to you whether you want to get together with her again. If you can't see it going anywhere with her anymore, then i suggest you just let it go and try it out with this other girl. Take a while and consider what is best for you, not for you AND her. If things aren't going to change if you get back together, that's not a good sign cuz you know where it will end up! if you can both sit down and discuss certain changes that have to be made on BOTH parts, and then you find it worth continuing on with her, then maybe it is best if you do. But if even after a nice long talk you don't see things changing or working out, then best just end everything then and there. Maybe you both need some time apart seeing other people, who knows. I'm now a firm believer of what is meant to be will happen. Even for those relationships that don't work out. You were meant to be in that relationship for a reason.

This whole time i was thinking "god, fate has brought us together so many times and in scary ways! why should we let fate down? can you actually choose against fate?" but i've decided that it will either bring us back together when we are meant to be, or maybe it was fate that brought us together, but only for the sole purpose of learning from each other, and we had such a great deal to learn from each other while we were together, thats why we were together for 5 1/2 years, but now we are done learning and we should now move on. Either way, everything will come together in the end and be very clear.

[FlutterGirl24]

Ok, I read through most of this forum, and figured Id be like everyone else here. My story is sort of small, but maybe you can help.

 

So I met this guy the night of my birthday. I hadnt even planned to be there, but some old friends from school of mine called me down and ended up taking me to this party at a mutual friends house. I got pretty drunk, being my birthday and all, and somehow ended up talking to this one guy and getting a ride home from him. I figured it was probably going to be a one night stand thing, but he was sober, and began talking and we figured out that we had known eachother from classes last year, and when morning came around, after talking here and there ect, I left with his number in my hand.

I called him the night of the next day and came down for a visit that lasted longer than expected because we got snowed in, and we really hit it off. We speant 4 days just having a wonderful time and getting to know eachother. For the next month things went great, until I became an idoit and whispered something to him while he was "sleeping" that I knew I shouldnt have. You know..."I think im falling in love with you...ect, ect." I let it go there, but apparently he heard it and never said anything until 2 nights ago when he confronted me and told me how much it had bothered him. When I said it, I didnt mean that I was head over heels tie you down and marry love, but that I was coming to love who I was around him, who he was, and how he made me feel. He took it the other way, and got scared because he thought what he thought was a special relationship that would bloom into comfortable love later, had moved too fast since we just sort of "fell into it", and was left really uncomfortable that I said I had loved him.

We had a long talk, but I was too dazed and suprised to even really pick up on all that he was saying, except that now he wants to take a 3ish week break (to study, and then while hes on spring break), and then see what happens from there after things have calmed down. But the more we talked, the more confused I got as to whether he wanted to even see me after the 3 weeks, be friends after the 3 weeks, reattempt something after the 3 weeks, or what. He orrigianlly wanted to have the convo in person, and now I am trying to see if we can still somehow arrange to talk face to face before next weekend. I really enjoy what we have begun to share, and I really think that something was there. I just dont know what to make out of all this. He says he only wants a laid back relationship without all the crazy intense emotions, which to me sounds perfect, but now it seems like he has the idea all caught up in his head that I am beyond being able to meet him on the same page because I claim i am in love with him.

I am so confused that Im not even sure if I am making sense here. I agree, we may have moved a bit fast, and I do want to get to continue to know him better, and I shouldnt have gone whispering things in his ear that could have been misinterperted in anyway, esp in matters taken as seriously as love, but I did, and i screwed up. What we had was wonderful, and he even would tell all his friends how happy he was to have found me, even after being single for a year and just getting used to it. And even the night before our phone convo he told me how wonderful I was and how he wouldnt cheat on me with anyone on campus because none of them would be worth it to him. So its easy to see how I could get confused when he tells me such wonderful things and shows me such wonderful things, and then asks for this break.

*sigh*

I think im just chasing in circles now.

[FlutterGirl24]

alright...i just read throught that, and I cant help but feeling stupid. ive just....dated so many people, and for once, something felt incredibly right about this guy. even when i first noticed him across the room in that class of mine the previous year. little things he does just sends shivers through me, and makes me smile, and there is soo much we have in common. i dont know how to expalin the feeling, but he just hits home. normally, after a month, i would be nothing like this at all. but now i am such a wreck, and im not even sure if i need to be. i guess what i really mean to ask is, does it sound alright to try and ask him for a person to person talk before we officially begin the break, as thats what he wanted to do in the first place? i dont think like it sounds unfair, and i just have so many things unanswered in my mind, that makes it difficult to be able to sort through most of my emotions- which is what i think he established the break as being for in the first place. what got me though was how he told me all his friends had told him to just end it and break my heart, but he heard how happy i was and couldnt break me. i dont even know why he would suddenly want to do that, without ever showing desire to do so prior. im just left in this circular mess of not knowing if this is his polite way of breaking up, or truely a break to sort through his and my feelings. he did just go through an entire year of singleness, but he also gave that up pretty quickly once I came around. maybe he just got scared??? but does that have to mean its over?and if not, how is that fixed?

[FlutterGirl24]

and now

*drum roll please*

my questions have gone and answered themselves

finally...a boy that can talk to me straight

im just used to ones that refuse to talk and go into hiding

he just want to make sure it wasnt going to over boil itself

he doesnt want it to end

things just got said stupidly over the phone

boys and girls....we shall soon see if breaks can be a good thing

and i have a strange good feeling about this one

[monkey]

I know your righ everyone, i just get so frustrated & upset, because our deal was for me to return to England, do my job & have some treatment for my panic attack problem & then we would meet & see how it went, she has poisoned one of my friends that i introduced to her, againsed me & she feels i am in the wrong, no-one seems to realise my panic attack prob wasn't my fault, like i wanted it.!

 

My s/o is an independent strong & stubborn person, & i did trust her, as she did everything for me to trust her, this is what we were very much together, trusting.

However, i don't know if i do now.

It's a year since we were so close in Budapest & it was wonderful & i think of how we were then & this gets to me, being introduced to all her friends etc, it's everything i ever wanted.

 

Whats people opinion on having a break, as Evan said & seeing others, i can't do this while i still love her & can anyone, even if they think a break is necessary

 

Yes, mabe if it wasn't to be, it wasn't to be, but to just be apart & leave it at that, we may never know what might have been unless we try & pursue it.

 

Michelle, i get your "fate thing" My gf who i met in England, had worked 3 years in Hungary & was en-route to try her chance in America & she never wanted at all a relationship to get in her way, she told me out flat, no relationship, friends ok, but she didn't want to lead me on, i pursued her & she was the one who eventually made the move on me, a complete change of mind, so i believe this can happen again, but if i leave it, it won't. She says she wants to meet with me in the future, when, i not know, but she seems to have learned how to become a psychic & knows we won't be together.

My moods change also from positivity to negativity & i feel stronger from my situation, as i know you eventually will,but this doesn' stop us feelin upset & hurting occasionally.

I know when we meet, i will inevitably bring up "reconciliation" & the ebook says not too, but as fluttergirl says, there' so many things unanswered, what does she expect us to talk about, the weather!, & i feel unless we can't be calm about it, as i do have an anger, it will end up in raised voices.

She told me to mail 1 a week, but she doesn't believe i will keep it to 1, does anyone have a thought as to wether i should prove this to her, or not bother at all, it was always the content not the quantity.

[eagle_nate]

Hey Flutter,

Quite the conundrum you find yourself in. Why shouldn't you be allowed to tell this guy how you feel?

If you were falling in love with him and he had strong feelings for you, what is the problem? Unless of course he was there for othe reasons. I'm not trying to make you feel bad but it seems odd to me that you can share such wonderful times together and then he needs a break all of a sudden.

 

Sounds like he wants the fun without the strings attached. And that isn't fair to you. A friend and i talked a lot last night about my situation (it's here somewhere) and the one thing that i found important was that i had been lacking self-respect. i put her needs so far above my own, that it wasn't so much a partnership as it was a one-way street. I was willing to sacrifice so much ...but for what? For the priviledge of being with someone?

 

Forget that...there's someone out there who will do those things for me that i was willing to do for her but she was not willing to do. It has to be equal give and take and I've noticed one common denominator thru all of these stories...we're the only ones giving. Whether it be space, time, letters, e-mails, etc.

 

Screw it folks....I got an e-mail the other day that completely broke my heart saying the things i never wanted to hear from her...but I summoned up all my courage, brought her stuff to her, and said goodbye.

 

Not what i wanted in any way, and i'll admit to calling her since and sending an e-mail/letter, etc.

 

But at least i can walk away with the tiniest shred of dignity.

 

I think that's what's important.

[JamVan]

Hi Evanescence, to answer your question about how much time had passed until she contacts me it's normally only one or two days. This is the third time now we've been on a break??? It's one thing for them to come back, but for what reasons are they coming back for? Sometimes I just think it's because I'm so good to her and do everything for her and she really doesn't really want to be alone. It's funny though, I don't know if you feel this, some days you feel very strong and confident in yourself and then the next you miss them like crazy and start questioning your thoughts and actions. I guess that's why they say one day at a time.

[Elle]

OK gang

after 5 weeks of constantly badgering me (really strange given he moved out decided he wanted a break and slept with someone else) to nights the night after two weeks of minimal contact (we have kids so there has to be some) I am going to tell him the door is closed he's not coming back!! I have tested out the'se feelings on a few friends and I reckon he has got wind of it hence the invitation to come over and share a bottle of wine!

 

My question is do I drink his wine before I tell him??

 

He has had a history of being as bit erratic so Im a bit scared he's going to freak out as all along Ive been saying no matter what you do i will still love you and be there (inc sleeping with someone else) but this last two weeks of little contact has made me realise that Im actually a lot happier without his drama

 

I just have to think forward and not back because if I think back to before he had his breakdown I realise Im grieving for someone that will never come back because we have both changed so much

 

Someone told me yesterday (who went through this 10 years ago) if you can grapple the fact that you can still love someone but realise that they are not doing you any good or even you them then thats when you start to move on

 

I know I will always love him but I cant carry on like the last two years he will drive me as crazy as him and I quite like the glimmer of hope that Im beginning to see that I can survive and find out what I want for a change instead of concentrating all my energy on him I will keep you posted (whether you want to hear it or not!!!)

 

Fluttergirl sometimes just writing it down is therapeutic and helps to put things in perspective think its quite common for people to back off when they think things are getting heavy give him a bit of time to digest and maybe he will realise its not so bad

 

Money- the grand gesture thing is a gamble but it would be the makin or breakin I say if you have the urge then do it at least you know you would have tried everything- could be a bit expensive though and Hungarian prisons are not as comfortable as you think but a word of warning my valentines gesture with the roses on the bed and ballons etc really back fired I was mad that he had wasted some much money on empty gestures when his actions were the complete opposite

[Elle]

sorry that should say Monkey not money!!

[eagle_nate]

Good luck to you,

I would be prepared for anything but he might take it OK.

 

They say there's a three second delayed reaction when you hear traumatic news such as this, ie death, break-up. Let him vent as long as it's not abusive, and just tell him your true feelings. I wish my ex would do that for me, she keeps saying it's because she doesn't treat me right..which is a cop-out. That makes it hard to accept!

 

But, if she could just be honest with me and tell me, at least i could walk away from it feeling like i have closure.

 

You owe him that much, be honest and up front....let us know how it goes!

[coursingthru]

Thanks Nate!

 

 

That is all I wanted was some type of reason myself. Posing that email to him gave me the closure I needed! He is the type of guy that needs and explanation for everything and ALWAYS has questions. It turns into more of a lecture or seminar for our relationship.

 

 

So he did email me back and it was lengthy as always! I only read the first few sentences and stopped and immediately emailed him and told him that I only needed a simple answer yes or no. Not the rehashing of everything because I know what we've been through and it wasn't bad enough for him to walk out.

 

 

I was honest completely with him telling him that in my next relationship I want simple communication and that you don't always need the answer or have to have questions about everything. I told him I loved him but that we just want two different things in life.

 

 

Of course - he was upset that I could even write "in my next relationship" at all. From the way he wrote his email to me showed me that he is still not dealing honestly with himself or me. He continued to project onto me and relive the past negatives.

 

 

I told him that isn't what I want from someone. The past is the past. He emailed me and said that he wasn't going to say goodbye - only that he'll talk to me later and that one day we will have redemtion and reconcilliation with eachother. I informed him that I am looking for neither from him.

 

 

It is going to take him 2 years to come full circle. He never healed from his divorce and now me. He told me that if I begin to date again - not to let him know because it will crush him and he can't even be my friend at that point anymore!

 

 

I felt sooooo good because I could see from his response that nothing would change even if we went to therapy. He isn't ready to admitt anything and continued to place the blame on me. I sent him the words to this sarah mclachlan song:

 

Perfect Girl

 

 

My friend told me that I need to heal and remove myself from the drama because this guy is not going to walk away from. I've decided to move to my old city only 15 minutes away and move in with my mom until i can get through all of this and save money and get my real estate license (which I take the final test in April!)

 

 

It is humbling because I have been on my own since 18 (im 36 now) but if I fall back into living on my own - right now - i will continue to struggle.

 

 

So my friend told me two important statements.

 

 

1. Make a list of what I want to do and do the opposite

 

2. Sex is a bi-product of a nuturing and loving relationship

 

 

Basically telling me that I need to not be physical with anyone for awhile - just date and that the decisions I am making are too messed up right now because I am not in the right place to do this on my own.

 

 

He always says "It ain't a brain tumor!" It's only temporary!

 

 

Anyway - thanks for your support and I hope all is going well with you.

[eaglenate]

Hey,

Glad to hear you're feeling good. I think that's exactly what is important for any and all of us.

I really hope you can remain positive and strong. These are hard and trying times, that challenge us beyond what we thought possible. But I think if we can all remember that it is a process like any other, ending in bliss.

 

Most importantly, keep that strength up...not that i have been able to but it's nice to say!

[Elle]

Well I expected a reaction maybe even a violent one because its been know but he said it was a huge relief because I had made the decision and he was sitting on the fence and couldn't decide whether to move on or come back.

 

We had a few tears and said that we missed each other as friends so it was important to keep that going. I drank his bottle of wine and he went back to his cousins flat. He text-ed me and said that we would both be OK and maybe somewhere way down the line we will get back together. I text-ed him back and said in order for us to both move on we cant harbour that thought its got to be over.

 

I had a few tears when I went to bed mainly because although I was scared of a bad reaction I did expect him to put up a bit of a fight!!

 

This morning I just feel huge relief its actually the limbo that does your head in well it does mine and I have spent two years like that. I realise now that he really wanted to go all along but never quite had the bottle to do it

 

So now he has all the time and space he needs and I just hope that he doesn't regret it I will never be able to look back at what we had and make sense of what went wrong but I can look forward and make the most of my life on my terms and concentrate on my kids instead of my husband.

 

Take care gang this has been a difficult painful road but at least I can now take an alternative route!!

 

on a lighter note we agreed that he could continue to do his washing here and will pay me don't know why I didn't think of that years ago!!

 

 

[Evanescence]

I'm having this horrible horrible urge to call and yell at my ex. God, how dare he do this?! He breaks up with me, and I think "ok, this is it, we are done" and i was depressed, but probably would have been easier to move on. But he had the urge to call me a few days later and tell me that he made a mistake? and that we could see each other soon? that he may only need a bit more time? And really made it seem like things were going to be getting better. Now it is 3 damn weeks and not a word from him. I know i should be taking that as a "move on" push... but i keep thinking back to all the s**t he told me that day after we broke up. I am left only with assumptions because i can't talk to him and ask him all of my questions. My assumptions get worse and worse everyday... and i want to call and yell at him because of my assumptions. I trusted him more than i've ever trusted anyone. I trusted him SO much.. for 5 1/2 years of my life... and he stabs me in the goddamn back like this! How can someone be so cruel? I'm starting to think, if he came back, would i really want to be with someone who could hurt me so much willingly? But i'm also thinking, how can i ever trust again?

Anyway, calling him up and yelling at him would be a really bad idea right? I want to do it so bad! I just need to vent in the worst way. And everyone around me is sick of hearing it. And i know the only person that could help me feel better is him. Telling him how i feel would make me feel so much better. I know why I'm not doing it though. I'm thinking that maybe we still have a chance,and if i were to call him up, that would screw up my chances of getting back together with him. Why do i care about that so much? why do i want to get back with someone who hurt me more than i've ever been hurt before?

this is all so damn confusing

[UCFKevin]

Because you still love him. Because you are inherently good at heart.

 

It'll pass. You'll begin to realize how you couldn't/shouldn't be with someone who could be like that to you. May take a while, though.

[Evanescence]

It really sucks when your ex or s/o doesn't give you all the answers you are looking for and leaves you with nothing but assumptions. I have just recently had a bunch of people tell me that he is "f**king someone else" and keeping me here for when it doesn't work out or he gets tired of it. I'm starting to believe them.. It's funny because you think you know someone so well, especially after 5 1/2 years of being with them. You trust them and think that they would NEVER do that to you. And now when i think about it, as much as i've been trying to prove these people wrong, it makes sense.

I've decided finally to MOVE ON. He is s**t. He has not been straight with me right from the beginning of this whole mess. The only explaination for this whole thing is that there is someone else. This all started with him saying "i need more time with my friends"... welll gee... i wonder who that FRIEND was?! THat piece of s**t. HOw can someone do that to someone they've loved for 5 years?

Although i don't know if this is the truth, i'm going to accept as the truth until he somehow proves me wrong.

If he DOES come crawling back i'm not accepting him back.. not after all of this. I can't. I think the only thing that would work is if after i tell him that i'm not taking him back, he starts to devote his life to proving to me that he was an ass.. and that what i'm assuming happened didn't really happen. and trust me, it's going to take a lot to convince me that he's actually worth my time.

 

anyway, i hope everyone else has better luck than me. (but hopefully i'm not having as bad of luck as i'm assuming to have)

 

Take care everyone.

[monkey]

Evan, everything you have said in your last 2 posts hits home to me, you said in the first of the 2 that he contacted you & said he'd made a mistake & you'd be together soon, thats pretty positive & i can understand you feel he's seeing someone else & that it obviously isn't working so he'll be retuning to you.

I know you can't prove this, but it's so difficult to not think of it in our situation, i'm the same & it's only been 15 months compared to your 5 years.

 

Calling them & yellong is hat i feel like & doing the reverse psychology thing, hoping that it works, it would sure make us feel better, but it would mabe make reconciliation a lot harder, or they may think about hat they've done, who knows, only them!

I want reconciliation, but i've been hurt & i feel i can't trust again & am afraid to incase it happens again, she always gave me reason to trust her but if we were the less sensitive type, this shouldn't bother ius like it is, i know guys that would say **** off to her, but i love her & can't. Especially when they come out with "i never want to hurt you, but..", they just don't wanna hurt themselves.

[eagle_nate]

"they just don't wanna hurt themselves."

 

the best and truest part of your post...I think it clearly applies in many of our situations...I'd like to think mine is not one of them but then again, I also thought I knew her so...who really knows?

 

And to quote UFC as well, "it'll pass, but it may take some time"...try and remember the first part of that!

[sexyjonnie]

Well, at the beginning of February my ex-gf told me she needed a break, she wanted to spend more time with her friends and finding herself. So I gave her the space she wanted, but she was treating me like a stranger. She would call me "dude" and just acted completely different. Then on Valentine's Day she broke up with me, and our 1 year anniversary was supposed to be a week after that. Since then she's been calling and saying she missed me and loves me and sees us married someday (I'm 23, she's 20). So things were looking better, but then the past few days she started saying she would call at a specific time, but then she wouldn't and would end up texting me a message on my cell a few hours after she said she would. She's done this for the past 4 days. So, finally on Saturday I told her not to call me unless she figured things out. She proceeded to call me 30 minutes later and she was being super sweet using the "girlfriend" tone of voice I hadn't heard in a month. She said she wanted to hang out today after she got off work at 8. So, at 10 I called her work and they said she had been gone since 8. I called her but got her voicemail and then I went to go talk to a friend at his work and I saw her car parked at the bar next door. So, I just called her, and of course I got her voicemail again, but this time I said: "4 times you said you would call but you didn't. Your actions speak louder than your words. I'm tired of this emotional roller coaster you've put me on. I don't ever want to speak to you again." We'll see if that gets her attention. If she comes back, then I'll know it was meant to be. But if not, oh well. It's her loss. And she said right after we broke up, "I think I made the stupidest mistake of my life." So, I'm not sure how to feel right now, but that's how life goes. Thanks for reading this.

[eagle_nate]

Good for you buddy,

You made a very difficult decision. Only time will tell what happens but you're certainly saying all the right things. At the end of my drama (go back a month or so!) I told her she finally had her space...a lifetime of it.

Sometimes you have to bite the bullet and do what's best for you, even if it is the most painful of your options. At the end of the day you have to look out for number one.

[sexyjonnie]

I think she wanted to string me along as her safety net, so once she was done partying I would be there on the side waiting like a little puppy. That is way too strenuous. It was a tough decision, but I think I made the right one.

[sexyjonnie]

I wanted to add a bit more, but I couldn't edit my post since I was unregistered. Anyway, as much as I miss her and wish things were how they used to be, I try and remind myself that she put me through a lot of crap this past month. Perhaps if she had only approached things differently, things would be different. And if she really truly loved me and cared for me, would she have done this? I know I wouldn't. It's ironic though, I reread her old letters and emails where she tells me I'm the love of her life and she never wants to lose me, yet how could you do this to someone you love. I know time is the only thing I can rely on, but unfortunately it can be so agonizingly slow sometimes. Everyone take care...just remember: you WANT them in your life, and you would be disappointed if they weren't. But you don't NEED them in your life, the way you need food, air, and shelter. There are 6 billion people in the world, you can't just limit yourself to one person.

[Evanescence]

Hey man! i hear you loud and clear! i've been seeing a counsellor to help me with my emotions (my relationship was 5 1/2 years and he was my first everything). SHe told me today flat out to call him or write him a letter or something and tell him that we are no longer on a break. He did break up with me, but now he's still calling it a break..

My ex did the exact same thing that ur ex did. WHen we were on a break he was SO COLD. wouldn't tell me he loved me, wouldn't let me hold his hand when we talked in person. ALthough i could see him in his eyes, all the warmth and love, his actions said the opposite. HE did say "you know i love you", but it's not the same. Anyway, after he broke up with me, he called 3 days later saying that he made a bit mistake, and he was talking in the same old bf tone, acting like he cared, and wasn't distant or cold. He even ended up stopping by that night (we are long D, but it's a long story as to how he actually ended up at my place). And he told me that he still needed more time and space.. and possibly see other people. He didn't really know. I thought that things were going to get better from then on, but now it's been 3 weeks, and i haven't heard a word from him. Now all i have is my assumptions. I think he thinks that i'm still sitting here waiting for him, and that's ok. So i guess what i have to do now is what you did. I have to tel him it's over, we're done. I don't care if he's calling it a break still (and he is even though he said "maybe we should see other ppl"). I'm going to say that it is NOT a break and to stop calling it that. And to stop calling me whenever he wants to. I don't want to hear from him unless someone in his family is seriously ill/dead (god forbid) or if he wants to get back together. Iknow any time he calls me it is just going to let out a bit more string, and i'm not taking it anymore. THe only way i can move on is to end the rollercoaster and get the hell off, just like you did.

So way to go! I completely support your decision. And you are right, if it was meant to be, she will come back and you two will work things out. Couples do it ALL the time. I've just never realized how much it happens.

[sexyjonnie]

You'll feel a lot better if you do. I'm not sitting by the phone anymore waiting for her to call. A part of me is expecting her to call and say she's sorry, but I'm trying not to expect anything since expectation leads to disappointment. In fact, two of my friends had the exact same thing happen, they told the girl they never wanted to speak to them again, and the girls came running. What it does is it takes the control from the other person's hands, and they no longer have a leash. And once the other person realizes this, they have to decide what the other person is worth. So, in essence, it will tell you exactly how the other person feels. I've tried to see it from her standpoint, and if she had told me she never wanted to speak to me again after I had put her through hell, I would definitely stand up and take notice. It may be a bit extreme, but some people need a wake up call sometimes because they don't realize how much they're hurting the other person. When it comes to relationships, its everything or nothing. Not in between. I'm trying to stay busy, but I've noticed my days are a whole lot longer now. This is the best time for self-improvement, because the sweetest revenge is success in everything you do.

[situationsmend]

EVANESCENCE-

 

We both don't deserve what we got. I get the same people telling me over and over how evil my ex is to me because

one week she seems like she's desperate and sad and wants to come back to me and the next week she'll not call me for a few days and when she does call, and we talk, She acts as if all of this is no big deal with sort of a 'why haven't you gotten over it yet?" kind of attitude.

 

It drives me friggin INSANE. If they really loved us, They wouldn't do this to us. They don't love us or respect us

and aren't mature enough to handle all of this in the right way. I've hated how my ex has handled this whole thing from

day one of our break up. No answers, Only assumptions. I've tried being so loving and caring and patient with her because I

love her, But whether she realizes it or not, She's playing mean games with my heart and I'm hurt very badly.

So all we can do is distance ourselves from it all. I'm actually moving out of the city in 2 weeks, just picking up and leaving.

I need to move on with my life, I can't keep waiting and hoping for her to come back, she may not.