Petrified!

[Ill Biskits]

My S.O. (I still find it odd to call her my girlfriend for some strange reason!) and I will have been talking for exactly one year this time next month. Our anniversary will be extra special because this is when we've finally cemented the time to meet! We've been planning the face-to-face for donkeys, but interruptions always seemed to crop up! I've booked the tickets (overseas), and i'm raring to go counting down the days. We're in love, would be rather silly if we weren't excited eh?

 

But ahhh I have so many insecurities about the whole thing (a large chunk of it is to do with my attractiveness)! I fear that everything we've shared (its been an intense year, let me tell you!) will all amount to nothing. I am madly in love with her, I would rather lose all my limbs than her! Hell, I'd even give MJ my nose to ensure we'd forever be together! I've been honest to her about my insecurities (she's very empathetic and caring with my depression), and reassures me "nothing will cease her love for me" and reminds me everyday i'm somehow "cute". But i'm not totally convinced.

 

I don't know what i'm seeking for, and I doubt i'll find the golden answer. I suppose the only option is to keep a clear mind and "see what happens". It's torture.

 

But i'd love to speak some of you people here, shed your experiences! Been reading about all the LDR/online success stories on here, raises my confidence just a tad . I hope me and my love can join all of you!

[era]

I'd even give MJ my nose to ensure we'd forever be together!

 

LOL..

 

Me and my online b/f finally met inperson after 11 months of communicating.

 

I was really nervous too.

 

It was weird though.

 

It was the scent of him (pheromones play a large role), and even the way he walked, and some other stuff, I was not attracted to him.

 

So mine is not a success story...but I hope yours will be..

[Els]

It's true, it doesn't work for some.

 

But it does for others.

 

However, if you go into it being excessively insecure and worried, you just might make your own fears come true.

 

So as hard as it seems to be, you need to take a deep breath, relax, and tell yourself to just chill, and let yourself trust and believe her when she tells you she loves you for who you are.

 

It's normal to be scared to a healthy degree, of course. There's always risk in relationships anyway. Lots of people in real-life relationships discover after 11 mths or even more that their partner isn't really the one for them.

 

Just relax.

 

Btw, if it makes you feel better, there was insane chemistry when I met my SO (we 'got together' online) in person. There are many others on this board whom I'm sure will post very soon about how it was so for them as well.

[Bearandsue]

I'm pretty sure you have nothing to worry about. She has seen pictures of you I'm sure and she stuck around for a year. So I guess she isn't shallow. Whatever you don't show up being all insecure. Talk to her about the way you are feeling now. You know play the "what if" game. That worked for me and my SO.

 

We met online and within three months we moved in together. I remember picking him up from the airport. I was nervous as hell. He gave me a big old kiss right there in front of everybody. It was like we knew each other for 10 years.

[KikiW]

I was JUST at petrified to meet my guy too. I was freaking out, terrified that even though I was absolutely crazy about him through the net, that the chemistry wouldn't be there in person. I was very lucky that we connected just as well in person.

 

Just breathe, it will be okay Bring her favorite flowers, or something that means something significant to you both. And don't be scared to go for that first kiss

[Mountainlove]

don't think so negative about yourself- what if you don't like her when you see her ? It could also work the other way around :-)

So relax! Talk about your fears, talk how you both imagine the day will happen... did you spoke of what will happen? Will you hug or kiss first? What is the plan after you meet. Sometimes it is nice to have a plan. She is probably very nervous as well!!! But also remember after you meet it takes 5 min max to relax :-)

Have you ever watched elove on tv? This helped me a lot as you get to see so many reunions:)

[northstar1]

My S.O. (I still find it odd to call her my girlfriend for some strange reason!) and I will have been talking for exactly one year this time next month. Our anniversary will be extra special because this is when we've finally cemented the time to meet! We've been planning the face-to-face for donkeys, but interruptions always seemed to crop up! I've booked the tickets (overseas), and i'm raring to go counting down the days. We're in love, would be rather silly if we weren't excited eh?

 

But ahhh I have so many insecurities about the whole thing (a large chunk of it is to do with my attractiveness)! I fear that everything we've shared (its been an intense year, let me tell you!) will all amount to nothing. I am madly in love with her, I would rather lose all my limbs than her! Hell, I'd even give MJ my nose to ensure we'd forever be together! I've been honest to her about my insecurities (she's very empathetic and caring with my depression), and reassures me "nothing will cease her love for me" and reminds me everyday i'm somehow "cute". But i'm not totally convinced.

 

I don't know what i'm seeking for, and I doubt i'll find the golden answer. I suppose the only option is to keep a clear mind and "see what happens". It's torture.

 

But i'd love to speak some of you people here, shed your experiences! Been reading about all the LDR/online success stories on here, raises my confidence just a tad . I hope me and my love can join all of you!

 

Try not to worry so much - she's already seen pictures, so she has an idea of what you look like.

The transition to in person chemistry doesn't always work out, but try and keep a positive attitude and enjoy it

[FabulousLadee]

Now I have a little experience...lol

I just met my babe for the first time this past weekend and I had the same anxieties.

It went off without a hitch. We are extremely attracted to each other.

Don't worry. It will be fine.

[Island Girl]

Will you hug or kiss first? What is the plan after you meet.

 

I wouldn't talk about this part. This is something that should just unfold as it will.

 

Talking about it and having a "plan" can lead to pressure and it being forced.

 

Just relax. Think about being together and talking and sharing the way you do now. Think how wonderful THAT will be!!

The rest will come if the chemistry is there.

And the only way to find that out is by going and meeting up!

 

So many here have met this way and have even ended up engaged!

 

Remember what IS possible. And enjoy the journey.

[Ill Biskits]

Thanks for the feedback people! Mmmm where to start .

 

To elaborate on my one and singled out concern, it's my skin. I suppose it's natural and all for my age; only, I just don't want to be a dissappointment to her. I know our love is unconditional (having played the "what ifs" quite a lot, yes!), loving eachother for who we are, but I struggle to find myself believing it! From the things she says, I'm being a complete idiot:

"It's temporary, it's nothing."

"Bring your cream and I'll rub it in."

"Even if you have massive, yellow, ugly zit on your butt cheeks, I'd still kiss it."

etc.

 

We're very open/honest with one another, and considering she's chilled and supporting with my more serious depression, why can't I convince myself with something as miniscule as this? Frustrating!

 

don't think so negative about yourself- what if you don't like her when you see her ? It could also work the other way around :-)

So relax! Talk about your fears, talk how you both imagine the day will happen... did you spoke of what will happen? Will you hug or kiss first? What is the plan after you meet. Sometimes it is nice to have a plan. She is probably very nervous as well!!! But also remember after you meet it takes 5 min max to relax :-)

Have you ever watched elove on tv? This helped me a lot as you get to see so many reunions:)

 

Funny that you mention it, she has heaps of insecurites of her own, so she's in exactly the same shoes as I! Always questioning how I could ever touch her with such 'disgusting' flaws. 'Flaws' they may be to her, but I bloody love them! So yes, I try relax to the fact that she probably accepts me for who I am, the way I do for her.

 

As for planning, well, we've let eachother know what to expect during the few weeks i'm there. What's off limits (come to think of it, nothing bloody is ), and what's on the table. We've admitted to eachother we probably wouldn't be able to stop ourselves (not that we want to!), so we're preparing for everything. About the kiss, I don't know if either of us would be brave enough to do so on the spot (!), but an intimate gaze into her juicy brown eyes with the biggest grin ever seen will satisfy me.

 

It went off without a hitch. We are extremely attracted to each other.

Don't worry. It will be fine.

I was JUST at petrified to meet my guy too. I was freaking out, terrified that even though I was absolutely crazy about him through the net, that the chemistry wouldn't be there in person. I was very lucky that we connected just as well in person.

 

 

Awww . The 'chemistry' hasn't crossed my mind at the slightest, really. We get on like a house on fire over the phone (initially, she did have trouble comprehending my accent, as she learnt American/British English at school, and not my rural, uneducated sounding Down Under tongue (bad pun). She still comments on how silly I talk!) and staring into eachother's eyes on webcam .

 

Out of curiosity, how long did it take for the disbelief that you were face-to-face at last to fade? Or is the surrealism still with you even today?

 

P.S. You've probably figured through my inexperience, this is my first (and will be my only ) relationship/love . It's hers too, so I think it's special we're learning the tools of the trade together.

 

P.S.S. I feel so dumb talking about this on a forum, so I apologise for being all soppy and lovey dovey with you buggers .

[Rollercoasterr]

My disbelief still hasn't faded. And it's been 4 long visits later. It goes away temporarily but then it smacks me in the face with "WOW! HE'S here!".

 

Kinda cute when he does it too.

[KikiW]

Out of curiosity, how long did it take for the disbelief that you were face-to-face at last to fade? Or is the surrealism still with you even today?

 

...

 

P.S.S. I feel so dumb talking about this on a forum, so I apologise for being all soppy and lovey dovey with you buggers .

 

Ok first part - I met my LDR for the first time early October last year, and I STILL think back to it and get a little "wheeee!" - The entire weekend we both walked around in a daze, oftentimes just staring at each other. I admit, as I have settled into the relationship a bit, I don't stare as often, but I catch him staring still

 

And don't feel dumb, we're all here being squee about someone

[You'reasian]

Forget about how ugly you think you are and when you see her, make sure you have a half-dozen of her favorite flowers in your hand - I'm sure if you feel the way you do, you won't be able to stop smiling when you see her - don't say alot, but show her that you love and care for her.

 

Just be yourself.