Author n9688m Posted May 3, 2009 Author Share Posted May 3, 2009 Understood. For your next relationship, why not use the litmus test of finding someone who doesn't need you to compensate for their lack, whether financial or otherwise? That's the litmus test I use. Indeed... my current relationship is fairly new but it would be nice if it works out long-term. Two very striking observations about her are (1) She is just about the most independent, self-driven woman I have ever met; and (2) She is undeniably the most physically passionate woman I have ever been with. That seems to be a really nice combination so far to start off a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 Indeed... my current relationship is fairly new but it would be nice if it works out long-term. Two very striking observations about her are (1) She is just about the most independent, self-driven woman I have ever met; and (2) She is undeniably the most physically passionate woman I have ever been with. That seems to be a really nice combination so far to start off a relationship.It sounds like you've got it together then and know the red flags to avoid. She's with you because she wants to be with you. Relax and enjoy! Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 Lots of missionary sex - but no oral and no French kissing. And in retrospect I think those were indeed major clues I totally missed.Isn't it possible that you missed a boatload of other major "clues" as to your "walkaway wife's" detachment and unhappiness as well? Guys usually notice the change in sex life/lack of sex life clues first, and miss much of the others. However, women usually have less desire for sex AFTER and BECAUSE there are other problems damaging the relationship. Men notice the sex issues first (and sometimes that's ALL they ever see as a problem; and sometimes consider the lack of sex as the only problem). But for women, the other problems in the relationship LEAD to the sexual problems. So, perhaps these out of the blue walkaway wives really weren't. You just didn't NOTICE the problems. If you can miss a major change in your sex life, don't you think you could have missed a lot of other issues? Or that you just brushed them off as nagging or whatever? Link to post Share on other sites
Author n9688m Posted May 4, 2009 Author Share Posted May 4, 2009 If you can miss a major change in your sex life, don't you think you could have missed a lot of other issues? Or that you just brushed them off as nagging or whatever? Yes, no doubt that is possible. Hindsight is 20/20. Then again, if I were worried about every slight change in the relationship then I would come off as insecure and/or non-trusting. Indeed there were a number of times where I sensed things were just not quite right and I even asked if we should consider counseling - yet each time she assured me things are just fine. In retrospect, I think she was right to not seek counseling- because if fundamentally she married someone for the wrong reasons, then there wasn't a thing counseling could have done to fix things. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 Only 17% of women truly enjoy performing oral sex (Ref: "What Women Want!" So if a woman is willing to perform oral sex, she's (a) over-charged the credit card (b) wrecked the car, or © is wanting something! Women want an emotional~spiritual connection at the beginning of a relationship which then leads to sex! Men want a sexual connection which then leads to an emotional connection? Which is why us men are so emotionally devastate by walk-a-wives! If you want a Happy relationship ~ fulfill her emotional needs in the beginning! Not after you're ship has hit the reefs! TOO late then! Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 If you want a Happy relationship ~ fulfill her emotional needs in the beginning! Not after you're ship has hit the reefs! TOO late then! How true is this! Once a woman shuts down emotionally due to unfulfilled needs, good luck jump starting it again. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 How true is this! Once a woman shuts down emotionally due to unfulfilled needs, good luck jump starting it again. SOMEWHERE IN AMERICA? THERE SHOULD BE A MOUNTEMENT TO THIS FACT! And I not talking the town square ! I'm talking about the Statue Of Liberty or Mount Rushmore! Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 SOMEWHERE IN AMERICA? THERE SHOULD BE A MOUNTEMENT TO THIS FACT! And I not talking the town square ! I'm talking about the Statue Of Liberty or Mount Rushmore! Great idea! I look back at my past relationships, including my marriage where I shut down upon finding out about his cheating, and they all followed that cycle. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 A man never knows. A woman just all of a sudden turns on you or at least makes it known that she turned on you. Walking away because cheating and other issues are another ballgame. A walkaway wife to me is when a man treats a woman good and he thinks they have a good marriage and all of a sudden she flips on him. Link to post Share on other sites
SummerLady Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 Nahh. I would say that kissing is way more indicative than oral sex.. With my first ex.. I still gave him oral but I couldn't get myself to kiss him on the lips (even a small kiss was too much).. cause it disgusted me.. Go figure.. I didn't mind oral..but couldn't kiss him on the lips.. but it's sooo true. This is so true. Kissing to me is the end all. I love to kiss BUT it to be with someone I am truly connected with. Its hard to fake passionate kissing. I stopped kissing my husband when I found out he cheated and that was it for years until the divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
sumdude Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 Maybe the pillow over her face while I gave HER oral sex might have been a clue.. lol:eek: Link to post Share on other sites
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