l0stMike Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 It's been a while since I posted here. I guess I can partially attribute that to the fact that I made some strides in finally moving on. I don't want to get into my backstory or anything, so I'm going to make this quick. Today is my ex's birthday. I have been debating on whether or not to text her a simple "Happy Birthday" possibly coupled with a "Hope you're doing well!", but I don't want her to think that there are any underlying connotations attached to it. I simply want to wish someone who was formerly a very influential part of my life a happy birthday. She's in Texas, I'm in PA, we haven't talked in a year, our relationship was not broken over broken trust, so it could be a little random but maybe tolerable because there isn't any chance of us ever running into each other again given we are 1500 miles apart for the indeterminate future. I guess the only message I would be trying to send is that I don't have any hard feelings anymore. But that, in a sense, may be the reason why I shouldn't text her. I'm well over the emotionally distressed stage. Yet, I do want her to have a good day, you know? If you haven't noticed already, I'm a little torn about what to do here. What do you guys think? To text, or not to text, that, is the question... Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 Don't send her one cotton pickin' thing and don't acknowledge her birthday in any fashion. Doing so will show her you have not moved on. You guys haven't communicated in a year. There is simply no reason whatsoever to start now. She is over, complete, finished, done, etc. and needs to exit from your life and your mind NOW. If you did something and she didn't acknowledge it, you would be devastated. If she did, you would go out of your mind trying to figure out what message she was sending. NOTHING, NADA, ZERO...for her birthday or anything else from here on out. You will have no reason ever again to ask us how you should relate to this lady from your distant past. It's time you found yourself a very nice, suitable love interest...and surely that person would not like it at all if you were sending birthday wishes to loves past. Now about that for one-stop shopping? Link to post Share on other sites
Author l0stMike Posted May 3, 2009 Author Share Posted May 3, 2009 I agree that theres no point in starting contact now, but I don't really want to start any contact. I don't really care if she replies or not to be honest. I just wanted to tell her happy birthday because I'm nice like that. Whether or not either of us still cares about the other, a birthday is a birthday no matter who it is. I will always care about her and she knows that whether I text her today or not. I didn't really think about it affecting my "moved on" appearance. Do you still think its a no go? Link to post Share on other sites
dethfire Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 don't do it, you are in a delusion. if you are just a "nice person" then I expect you to look up strangers in the phone book and wish them happy bday because that is what your ex is, a stranger Link to post Share on other sites
Elpida Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 I am sorry but I will send her a short Happy Birthday message... If you loved each other in the past, and you still care about her as a person, I do not think there is anything wrong in doing so... One year passed, it sounds like you both moved on and you both understand this. Ok, my ex-fiancee just (3.5 months) broke up with me and I am fighting for a second chance but whatever happens, my birthday will not be complete without his simple message... Even if we do no communicate at all in the future I would still like to know he remembers me in his own way. But this is only my opinion... Link to post Share on other sites
EmperorR Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 I gurantee you she is not thinking about whether your going to send a text message. Admit it you just want contact that's it, just go on like it's any other day. Link to post Share on other sites
fabulous_chk Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 no don't text...just wish it inside and hope she's doing ok. but don't text her. you will be opening doors that needs to be firmly closed and locked forever. Link to post Share on other sites
Author l0stMike Posted May 5, 2009 Author Share Posted May 5, 2009 no don't text...just wish it inside and hope she's doing ok. but don't text her. you will be opening doors that needs to be firmly closed and locked forever. well, i just wanted to write and say that i made it. i didnt text her. i was up after the midnight deadline and when i went to bed, i couldnt fall asleep. maybe it was just anxiety keeping my brain in unrest mode, but today passed and i think part of me felt a smidgen of remorse because i didnt wish her a happy birthday. our relationship ended open-ended if that's even possible, and we cared about each other long after it did. that was mutually expressed to both our friends and each other at one point over a year after the relationship was over. oh well, what are you going to do i guess. ive learned to not care about these types of things anymore, but the fleeting possibility that i just passed up an opportunity to calm any remaining troubled waters eats at me a little bit. i am happy that i was strong enough to resist the temptation, but im not happy that i was unforcefully kept from being myself and wishing someone i care about a happy birthday. this forum is riddled with advice on sealing the deal and never looking back, and post after post after post reiterates that mindset. i guess it's the right way to go about handling a breakup after being in that situation for two years now, but it would be nice for someone to get on here and say "hey, you know what, my ex and i rekindled after time apart and now we are happier than ever." maybe it would give all of us dreamers out here a feeling of something other than the desperation caused from following everyone's advice and simply giving up. Link to post Share on other sites
Elpida Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 "but it would be nice for someone to get on here and say "hey, you know what, my ex and i rekindled after time apart and now we are happier than ever." maybe it would give all of us dreamers out here a feeling of something other than the desperation caused from following everyone's advice and simply giving up. I am so much with you on this! I keep looking for those "happy ending" stories... I so much do not want to give up... at least not yet... so I will keep looking! Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 ive learned to not care about these types of things anymore, but the fleeting possibility that i just passed up an opportunity to calm any remaining troubled waters eats at me a little bit. this forum is riddled with advice on sealing the deal and never looking back, and post after post after post reiterates that mindset. i guess it's the right way to go about handling a breakup after being in that situation for two years now, but it would be nice for someone to get on here and say "hey, you know what, my ex and i rekindled after time apart and now we are happier than ever." maybe it would give all of us dreamers out here a feeling of something other than the desperation caused from following everyone's advice and simply giving up. So. The Truth IS that you really DO have a dream of reconciliation. The birthday greeting wasn't just about wanting her to have a good day because you are such a nice person. The point was to tickle her memory of you, and see how she responded, and to see if the HB! gave her enough warm fuzzies to talk to you about a possibly reconciliation. Had you posted that you wanted to text Happy Birthday - hope your day is wonderful! because you wanted to see how her response was because you miss her and the dream of a reconciliation lurks in your heart, you may have gotten different responses. Link to post Share on other sites
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