SERENITYISME Posted May 12, 2000 Share Posted May 12, 2000 Myself: Female Born 11/23/70 SantaCruz,CA.U.S.A. @3:11AM. He: Born 4/23/53 Cheektowaga, NY.U.S.A.(time?) We both live with our own boyfiend/girlfriend respectivly... Yet, each of us is quite unhappy and lazy "so to speak" about moving on with our personal lives.. He and I have worked together for aprox. 3 years under considerable stressfull environments... We actually spend more time together than with our mates. We have each found intense comfort with one another... Attraction? YES! We share our world with eachother. Cannot go to sleep without the other as our last thought in mind. We each have become quite dependant apon the other and feel great dispair when one is not in the work environment ie;sick days,vacations,etc. We share a wonderful fantasy life in our dreams Yes we often share our sleep hour dreams with eachother verbally. We most always read eachother without even use of words. Tons of syncranicities between us too. We have hugged on several occasions... He has attempted to kiss me- I turned away and explained of my morals... He seemed ok with that. It's obvious to everyone we know that there is some romantic connection: (we are each asked "when are you two getting married" etc.) We are very close... I have actually discussed this affair of the heart with my boyfriend.. He still hangs in there though allowing me to decide what is best for me since mid February! The question I ponder is what exactly is the best path to take? I have never even kissed this man physically , Yet- cannot help but feel "in love" with him. How are we connected? Why? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted May 12, 2000 Share Posted May 12, 2000 You are connected because of your work situation. You are connected because each of you is in a stale relationship. Working together in a stressful environment connects you to a situation you must mutually deal with. You are close because you have gotten to know each other in the work environment and have grown fond of each other. If you really enjoy this man, what are you waiting for??? You say you turned your head when he tried to kiss you because of your morals. My morals say it's pretty heinous to remain with a mate who I do not care than much about. To your credit, you have told your boyfriend about your feelings for this man at work and to his credit, he is giving you ample time to make up you mind. In the same situation, I would have wished you great luck and split. I have got to tell you this is a WILD situation. Your post screams out with its own answer. Take some good, potent vitamins for about a week. Tell your boyfriend you only have ONE life to live and you want it to be with someone you REALLY want to be with. Then, try do get on with this chap at work. If that fizzles out, you are free to find the man of your dreams. Anytime you are in a relationship that is failing and you are unable to jump start it, move on. When you eventually get married, you'll have to work very hard to keep it from going stale but you can do it. One more thing you need to look at a bit and that is why you may have feelings for this man at work. What was your relationship with your father. This man is 17 years older than you and could possibly be a father figure to you. Only you could answer that. Otherwise, the age difference is really insignificant and you should go for it. So what are you waiting for??? When are the two of you getting married??? Link to post Share on other sites
SERENITYISME Posted May 13, 2000 Share Posted May 13, 2000 Thank you so much for your timely response. More importantly for your honest insight. I have decided to be brave and follow your advice, I am scared... But, I know that in the long run I will be better off. Re; The father figure thing, my own father and I have a wonderful relationship. (healthy and satisfying) I have actually always found myself attracted to men quite my senior as they seem to connect with me better mentally. In retrospect "Most my female friends are also my senior." I have not ever dated anyone that I've worked with however: it's always just been a rule of mine. Again, I wish to say thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
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