Am I silly to be jealous of my husbands cousin?

[Bejita463]

Just because it's his cousin--by adoption--doesn't mean that he cannot be sexually attracted to her. Let's be honest, incest happens ALL the time, and he may not view her as a cousin being that they were not raised together as family.

 

Point conceded. My judgment was clouded by my own perception of appropriate family behavior towards a cousin.

[GlassWindow]

 

Ok. I just thought with your immediate explanation of how she is thinner than you, and you are self-consious of your weight, PLUS you call yourself muffintop (which is hardly an self-loving endearment), so I thought maybe there were a lot of self-esteem issues going on.

 

 

I have to agree with JeezLouise....What struck me first was how you introduced the situation....you didn't state the problem first; you stated how you viewed yourself and his attractive cousin first. This spoke volumes as to how the situation has partly been created. You said it yourself that your judgement is probably clouded over....I will agree with that. However,

 

I do think your husband could back off a little with the compliments. Does he compliment you in the way he does the cousin? If not, maybe that's where the discomfort needles in (ON TOP OF how you view her and yourself)....

 

And if he IS sexually attracted to her?? Well, what can you do? As long as behavior remains appropriate and he doesn't cross a boundry further than simply complimenting her, you shouldn't have anything to worry about.

 

I'd relax. Truly.

[love2dance]

 

I do think your husband could back off a little with the compliments. Does he compliment you in the way he does the cousin? If not, maybe that's where the discomfort needles in (ON TOP OF how you view her and yourself)....

 

I agree with this. If your husband is complimenting another woman more than you, or more sincerely he does for you, then it must be very painful and irritating. You must talk to you husband again, without getting defensive, and calmly let him know that you would like his admiration and that you are not getting enough validation from him. You should also tell him knock off the creepy behavior, because it makes you uncomfortable. If he cares about your feelings then he would realize that even if he really wants to talk about how great his cousin is, its not worth it if it is hurting you.

[angie2443]

I also didn't add that we argued about this yesterday... When I told him I didn't like the way he spoke to her times, he just brushed it off as if it were my problem and that I shouldn't feel this way because she's a relative.

 

This would be a red flag for me just because he doesn't seem to be respecting your feelings.

 

I don't think there is enough information here to know rather your husband is attracted to his cousin or not. You might be a little insecure. At the same time, incest happens all the time and his remarks about her looks seem really odd to me.

[You'reasian]

I don't know why, but it's really getting to me, I'm always looking at her pictures

 

To be fair though, she's a very nice girl, she's not flirty or tarty or anything like that, espeially not with my husband so I can't be resentful towards her. I just don't like it the way my husband talks about her and to her at times.

 

Am I over reacting?

 

She is his family - so I do think you're being a bit sensitive. Be thankful that he has great family

 

If you love your husband, you should also try to respect his family - makes things alot easier on you and for your relationship.

[melodymatters]

Bottom line: there are always going to be more attractive woman on the planet. If your partner feels the need to MENTION their gorgousness, MORE than he compliments you, it's disrespectful.

 

End of story.

[stillafool]

Don't worry. With looks like her's it won't be long before she has a boyfriend attached to her hip. Then your husband will have to back off.