confusedinkansas Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 Just venting now....But I post here from time to time....I also "take breaks" from here from time to time. But, as I am reading several different threads here....Infidelity/OM-OW/Separation/Divorce..... The pattern I see happening here is there are so many that just come here to "Throw Stones". Why? NONE OF US........That's right folks.........NONE OF US are perfect human beings. We all make mistakes from time to time. We all falter or lose our way. Some find their way back, others don't ~ It happens. I'm not a bible beating person.......But for crying out loud - He that is without fault cast the first stone. (or something like that-LOL) And as I have said before "Can't we all just get along".....Of course I was laughed at with that question & told NO.........LOL:laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 ahhhhh but CIK, Adultery is a different fallibility ! Apparently it comes from a much deeper 'evil-ness' in people. So much so, that people who do that are condemn to go to hell or at least, be symbolically "stoned to death" in the internet world. ! lol... Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 ahhhhh but CIK, Adultery is a different fallibility ! Apparently it comes from a much deeper 'evil-ness' in people. So much so, that people who do that are condemn to go to hell or at least, be symbolically "stoned to death" in the internet world. ! lol... This post is contradictory because so many BW (and BH) are able to forgive their H's (and W's) and move on to re-build a stronger marriage. And, most of those BW haven't said anything condemning to OW. I know that I have never said that a OW should "go to hell" or anything close to it. Lunch time! See ya later. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 I don't want anyone to go to Hell. And if you asked some AP you will not only find that I don't want them to go to hell, but pray for them as well. I think AP aren't anymore stoned so to speak than those who don't understand or agree with cheating. I love the person and hate the sin, any sin because it separates US (ALL) from Christ. Link to post Share on other sites
Author confusedinkansas Posted May 4, 2009 Author Share Posted May 4, 2009 ahhhhh but CIK, Adultery is a different fallibility ! Apparently it comes from a much deeper 'evil-ness' in people. So much so, that people who do that are condemn to go to hell or at least, be symbolically "stoned to death" in the internet world. ! lol... Really? Deeper Evil-ness huh? Link to post Share on other sites
Reggie Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 I think it is the justifying and blameshifting that sets folks off. Plus, some BSs are still pretty raw from the trauma. I know I have always encouraged folks that are remorseful and accept full responsibility(like telling the truth and realizing it was them, not the BS or the marriages that caused the cheating). Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 Really? Deeper Evil-ness huh? LOL...yes, yes....a deeper "evil-ness"!!!! scary is it not? Link to post Share on other sites
Author confusedinkansas Posted May 4, 2009 Author Share Posted May 4, 2009 Am I missing what you're saying? People that cheat have a deeper evilness? I don't think that because someone cheats makes them evil. Is that what you're saying Tami? - Or is it WHAT they are doing that is evil? Link to post Share on other sites
jj33 Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 Regardless of whether someone believes it stems from a deeper evilness or not, it doesnt give anyone the right to throw stones at the OW/OMs/WSs on this forum. Link to post Share on other sites
Author confusedinkansas Posted May 4, 2009 Author Share Posted May 4, 2009 Exactly my point Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 Am I missing what you're saying? People that cheat have a deeper evilness? I don't think that because someone cheats makes them evil. Is that what you're saying Tami? - Or is it WHAT they are doing that is evil? LOL...CiK, I am kidding, actually I was being sarcastic:D. Sorry if you misunderstood. Link to post Share on other sites
Author confusedinkansas Posted May 4, 2009 Author Share Posted May 4, 2009 I was hoping you were......Glad you cleared that up. Link to post Share on other sites
jj33 Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 Confused a lot of people have stopped posting on the infidelity and OW boards becaues of the abuse. As I keep telling people - the alert button. If the moderators are kept abreast of those who insist at taking shots at other posters and instigating problems, the nastiness will eventually stop. But engaging and fighting with them or ignoring them isnt going to make the problem go away. Link to post Share on other sites
Reggie Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 Regardless of whether someone believes it stems from a deeper evilness or not, it doesnt give anyone the right to throw stones at the OW/OMs/WSs on this forum. I agree. But, you must admit there is some ridiculously twisted thinking going on over there, embarrisingly simplistic stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 Still, many BSs cannot allow themselves to be kind to fellow posters who are WSs because they only see the label, the "A" dangling from the neck. They ignore the fact that there are real feelings involved....pain, suffering,confusion. They are consumed by their own bitter experiences that to them no WS deserves kindness or true friendship for that matter. Link to post Share on other sites
Reggie Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 Generally, the WSs that are not justifying, blaming, and who are taking responsibility seem to be treated alright. Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 Generally, the WSs that are not justifying, blaming, and who are taking responsibility seem to be treated alright. Actually, I think the WS who are not justifying, blaming and who are taking responsibility the way that some BS think/believe they should (accdg. to their standards) seem to be treated right. Short of that, one is just no good and will be called out in the forum as such. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, why not call it a duck? Link to post Share on other sites
Reggie Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 I think the standards are pretty well accepted: truthfulness, remorse, responsibility, amends/restitution. All time honored signs of taking responsibility and prerequisites for forgiveness. Link to post Share on other sites
annieo Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 When you hear someone's story of being lied to, cheated on, it tends to bring back the bad memories, "activate your pain body", as Eckhart Tolle might say. So, naturally, a person who has been cheated on/lied to will get upset and vent when they hear about someone else getting cheated on/lied to. Especially if they're hearing it from the cheaters point of view and there seems to be a lack of remorse or a lot of self-justifying going on. And that does happen here. Aside from these understandable angry reactions, there are the self-righteous moralizers and hypocrites ... Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 I think the standards are pretty well accepted: truthfulness, remorse, responsibility, amends/restitution. All time honored signs of taking responsibility and prerequisites for forgiveness. Forgiveness from the BSs in the forum? Link to post Share on other sites
Reggie Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 Forgiveness from the BSs in the forum? No, just forgiveness in general. Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 I thought we were talking about how the OWs/OMs/WSs are treated here in the forum...not sure where forgivemess factors in...Forgiveness is between the parties and for oneself. Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 This post is contradictory because so many BW (and BH) are able to forgive their H's (and W's) and move on to re-build a stronger marriage. And, most of those BW haven't said anything condemning to OW. I know that I have never said that a OW should "go to hell" or anything close to it. Lunch time! See ya later. Yes, but you are one to see all the different viewpoints of the A. You tend to understand what the OW might have been thinking and feeling based on what your WH told her. Most BS's don't have that kind of perspective and understanding. (By 'understanding', I am not saying accepting). So, those BS's who demanded 'all or nothing' and would never take back and forgive a cheater tend to be the ones who throw the stones. Link to post Share on other sites
Reggie Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 I thought we were talking about how the OWs/OMs/WSs are treated here in the forum...not sure where forgivemess factors in...Forgiveness is between the parties and for oneself. I agree. We were talking about how WSs are treated, not forgiveness. I merely mentioned the factors I see as needed to be forgiven as representative of the type of demonstrations of remorse from a Ws that, typically, elicit a more sympathetic response from BS posters. Link to post Share on other sites
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