mark982 Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 why are you thinking of getting her anything? can't for the life of me figure that one out. if you must, a simple text will do the trick. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CM2009 Posted May 6, 2009 Author Share Posted May 6, 2009 why are you thinking of getting her anything? can't for the life of me figure that one out. if you must, a simple text will do the trick. Oh yeah im leaning on just sending her a text and that's it, i also have a little $.99 Bday card from Target but that's only if I want to go by and get somethings of mines or I can just send it through the mail. But the text maybe the way to go. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 Don't buy her a bday gift. Don't even say happy birthday..You two are NOT a loving couple right now and you not buying her a gift will tell her you aren't putting up with her crap. And yes, definately buy her a mothers day gift because this involves the kids.. You two are still parents, even if right now you're not a couple. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CM2009 Posted May 6, 2009 Author Share Posted May 6, 2009 Don't buy her a bday gift. Don't even say happy birthday..You two are NOT a loving couple right now and you not buying her a gift will tell her you aren't putting up with her crap. And yes, definately buy her a mothers day gift because this involves the kids.. You two are still parents, even if right now you're not a couple. Their not my kids though.... Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 Umm... she betrayed your trust, she's playing manipulative games, her family have turned against you... why would you buy her a birthday present? MAYBE consider helping the kids get her something FROM THEM. But not from you. Oh, and let her pay her own damned bills. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CM2009 Posted May 6, 2009 Author Share Posted May 6, 2009 Umm... she betrayed your trust, she's playing manipulative games, her family have turned against you... why would you buy her a birthday present? MAYBE consider helping the kids get her something FROM THEM. But not from you. Oh, and let her pay her own damned bills. like i said the kids aren't mines. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 Their not my kids though.... See below.. MAYBE consider helping the kids get her something FROM THEM. But not from you Great idea. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 her family have turned against you... Why would her family turn against you? SHE is the one who cheated, had an EA! Link to post Share on other sites
Author CM2009 Posted May 6, 2009 Author Share Posted May 6, 2009 Why would her family turn against you? SHE is the one who cheated, had an EA! Because family take sides and also I wasn't able to take care of her and the kids when I was out of working and looking. And a lot of other crap. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CM2009 Posted May 6, 2009 Author Share Posted May 6, 2009 See below.. Great idea. Just wanna know, why would it be a great idea? Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 Well, to take the high road never puts a person in a bad light. I would get a card, a funny one (not sarcastic) for her B-Day. For Mothers Day - a nice flowering plant and a blank card that reads: "You will always be the Mother of My Children". Link to post Share on other sites
Author CM2009 Posted May 6, 2009 Author Share Posted May 6, 2009 Well, to take the high road never puts a person in a bad light. I would get a card, a funny one (not sarcastic) for her B-Day. For Mothers Day - a nice flowering plant and a blank card that reads: "You will always be the Mother of My Children". No Mother's Day gift this year for her, she's not my mom and I didn't father her children so let them deal with that!! Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 Gotcha. Sorry about that. I hate it when I sound like an idiot...you would think I would stop. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CM2009 Posted May 6, 2009 Author Share Posted May 6, 2009 Gotcha. Sorry about that. I hate it when I sound like an idiot...you would think I would stop. No you don't sound like an idiot. My thing is I can see if they were my own then yes I would but since they are not, and since she's the one who wanted to break up the 4 of us then no I shouldn't. But like I said any advice is fine in this post. Link to post Share on other sites
Athena Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 No you don't sound like an idiot. My thing is I can see if they were my own then yes I would but since they are not, and since she's the one who wanted to break up the 4 of us then no I shouldn't. But like I said any advice is fine in this post. Ok so you figured out about the Mother's day thing... and you figured out about her B-day card and/or text. What else is on your mind? Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 No you don't sound like an idiot. My thing is I can see if they were my own then yes I would but since they are not, and since she's the one who wanted to break up the 4 of us then no I shouldn't. But like I said any advice is fine in this post. How close are you to her kids? I understand you are not their father, but if you were a father figure in their lives, don't you care about them? In the very least, I would make sure the father or one of the grandparents or another adult in the children's lives help them buy something for their mother. Otherwise, I would do it myself. It also sounds like your wife is willing to try to reconcile. You mentioned she wants to go to counseling but because she's "only doing it to know for sure she's done everything possible", you are not willing to go. So you cannot exactly blame HER for everything. I understand what she did was pretty ****ty, but if you really wanted to save your marriage and reconcile, you would explore every avenue, including going to counseling. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CM2009 Posted May 7, 2009 Author Share Posted May 7, 2009 How close are you to her kids? I understand you are not their father, but if you were a father figure in their lives, don't you care about them? In the very least, I would make sure the father or one of the grandparents or another adult in the children's lives help them buy something for their mother. Otherwise, I would do it myself. It also sounds like your wife is willing to try to reconcile. You mentioned she wants to go to counseling but because she's "only doing it to know for sure she's done everything possible", you are not willing to go. So you cannot exactly blame HER for everything. I understand what she did was pretty ****ty, but if you really wanted to save your marriage and reconcile, you would explore every avenue, including going to counseling. For one I was the one who wanted to reconcile, I was the one who was asking and begging for her to come back and lets work things out, I was the one who wanted to go to counseling and she said no. I was willing to go but not just for her to say "at least I went." If your not willing to work on the marriage then don't waste our time. How close I am to the kids, well I was really close but for some reason I get a negative vibe, I don't know whats been said about me since I've been gone but I don't feel the kind of love I use to. Link to post Share on other sites
Admiral Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 we've been seperated for over a month now, should I give her a gift if so what should the price amount be? You're separated. She isn't attracted to you. So why are you even THINKING about giving her presents? Go meet some other women and divorce her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CM2009 Posted May 8, 2009 Author Share Posted May 8, 2009 I'm not giving anything!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Admiral Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 I'm not giving anything!!! Oh, good. Remember, separated = no relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
cyabye Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 I would get her a whole lot of nothing, nada, zip. Enjoy the EA. You can't reconcile all by yourself. A woman does not respect a beggar. They respect action. Do a 180 and hall azz. At least she'll respect you for manning up. I'd get out while I could. c'ya-bye! Link to post Share on other sites
Author CM2009 Posted May 8, 2009 Author Share Posted May 8, 2009 I would get her a whole lot of nothing, nada, zip. Enjoy the EA. You can't reconcile all by yourself. A woman does not respect a beggar. They respect action. Do a 180 and hall azz. At least she'll respect you for manning up. I'd get out while I could. c'ya-bye! Exactly, she got a Birthday text message and that's all.... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 How close I am to the kids, well I was really close but for some reason I get a negative vibe, I don't know whats been said about me since I've been gone but I don't feel the kind of love I use to. Them towards you or you towards them? Link to post Share on other sites
Author CM2009 Posted May 8, 2009 Author Share Posted May 8, 2009 Them towards you or you towards them? Them towards me Link to post Share on other sites
Author CM2009 Posted May 13, 2009 Author Share Posted May 13, 2009 Question, ok Bday passed and I just sent her a text and said Happy Birthday and left it at that. I remember her telling me a while ago before the EA that she felt neglected and it didn't seem like I didn't care for her like I use to. My question is even though I "might" want her back, should I have at least gave her a card or a small gift to show her at least I do care? Just wondering.... Link to post Share on other sites
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