His Wife Is Leaving and MM Said He Wants To See Me...

[jj33]

Thats it exactly. I know its not what you want to hear but it is the truth.

 

Unless he went through very intense counselling BEFORE you were together - and that could take years and might not work ...

 

he would never treat you the way you want to be treated on a consistent basis and you will never ever have the life you dream of with him.

 

"Getting" someone doesnt always mean being happy. Being married to someone doesnt always mean being happy.

 

They have to show you UP FRONT that they love you and care for you and know how to treat you in a way that makes you happy.

 

Jumping every time he calls because maybe he has finally realized how wonderful you are and that he wants to spend his life with you, while he is in another country, when he has treated you so badly is a fools errand. That is a fantasy of happily ever after.

 

All you know is what he tells you - being away he has no opportunity to SHOW you.

 

And at this point he hasnt even had the courtesy to treat you with the littlest teeniest bit of respect or consideration.

 

he has left you hanging for is it a month now?

 

Youve given him many many chances. Grieve now. Be sad. Put it behind you. It was a VERY bad experience and when its behind you, you will have learned and hopefully you will NEVER let another man treat you like that again.

 

You will find happiness HB, just not with him.

[xxxheartbrokenxxx]

Please print your last post, and tape it to your sun visor in your car, on your bathroom mirror, on your computer screen and mirror-print it and tattoo it to your forehead.

 

(He's FIFTY??? With FOUR kids????

 

Do you KNOW what he is going to owe in child support each month? And you are daydreaming about having a FIFTH child with him at his age?)

 

 

He did once say to me that he wanted MORE kids but that his wife was too old to have any more.

 

He has got a 4 year old so he is already a bit of an old Dad anyway!

 

For me, his age wouldnt be an issue.

[jj33]

Enough with the excuses - he knows or if he cared enough to find out he would know. Hes a b*stard. He doesnt care what this is doing to you.

 

HE HASNT EVEN CALLED YOU. He called once or twice and disappeared. there is NO EXCUSE for that. NONE.

[JeezLouise]

And if he cared, he would have been in contact to find out.

 

Most people worry about how their behaviors impact the people they care about.

[JeezLouise]

He did once say to me that he wanted MORE kids but that his wife was too old to have any more.

 

He has got a 4 year old so he is already a bit of an old Dad anyway!

 

For me, his age wouldnt be an issue.

 

Yeah, it's all the fault of the bitch wife from Hell.

 

You MUST be young, if you think age isn't an issue.

[PhoenixRise]

One more thing though (and Im not trying to make excuses for him) but he doesnt know the damage this is doing to me. He doesnt know how I sit crying for hours or that I take it with me everywhere I go and feel I cannot enjoy life when this drama is going on.

 

I dont even think he realized what it did to me last summer. Well he didnt stick around to find out anyway as he did his disappearing act, he only knew I was devastated that he moved out. He did see me cry about it a few times. But he didnt realise that even a few months later I was still suffering and was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress and was going to move to a different town because of him, and that I almost lost my job and at one point felt I couldnt leave my house for fear of bumping into him and/or his wife when they were living here after he abandoned me. He only saw the tip of the iceberg last summer. He would have no idea what it is doing to me this time round.

 

Please HB

 

Stop making excuses for him.

 

HE KNOWS

 

He knows enough. He saw you crying and screaming his name before he walked out on you to go back to his wife and kids.

 

He knows that you have intense feelings for him. He Knows what he is doing. He. Does. Not. Care.

 

AND

 

Even if he didn't know. Even if he had no idea how you felt about him then basic human decency and would compell someone to promptly call a friend about a change in plans

 

Stop providing excuses for him.

[xxxheartbrokenxxx]

Thats it exactly. I know its not what you want to hear but it is the truth.

 

Unless he went through very intense counselling BEFORE you were together - and that could take years and might not work ...

 

he would never treat you the way you want to be treated on a consistent basis and you will never ever have the life you dream of with him.

 

"Getting" someone doesnt always mean being happy. Being married to someone doesnt always mean being happy.

 

They have to show you UP FRONT that they love you and care for you and know how to treat you in a way that makes you happy.

 

Jumping every time he calls because maybe he has finally realized how wonderful you are and that he wants to spend his life with you, while he is in another country, when he has treated you so badly is a fools errand. That is a fantasy of happily ever after.

 

All you know is what he tells you - being away he has no opportunity to SHOW you.

 

And at this point he hasnt even had the courtesy to treat you with the littlest teeniest bit of respect or consideration.

 

he has left you hanging for is it a month now?

 

Youve given him many many chances. Grieve now. Be sad. Put it behind you. It was a VERY bad experience and when its behind you, you will have learned and hopefully you will NEVER let another man treat you like that again.

 

You will find happiness HB, just not with him.

 

Unless he went through very intense counselling BEFORE you were together - and that could take years and might not work ...

 

So you think he needs counselling? He wouldnt admit that he did though. I wonder if he knows what he is? Like, when he leaves me hanging etc - does he stop and think 'hang on a minute, Im acting like a right a**hole'?

 

Cos if I did what hes doing I would have a guilty conscience. So would most people wouldnt they? He must be an odd ball. Well actually he is - my best friend thought it was weird when I said to her he has no friends and does nothing social at all and is rude to the general public when out. She thinks he sounds socially inept. Makes you wonder what his wife has been through over the last 20 years with him.

 

But yes, so far he has left me hanging for nearly a month.

[PhoenixRise]

He did once say to me that he wanted MORE kids but that his wife was too old to have any more.

 

He has got a 4 year old so he is already a bit of an old Dad anyway!

 

For me, his age wouldnt be an issue.

 

 

This says to me that you are an ego stroke to him. His wife is older, probaly closer in age to him, and he is remineded that he is no spring chicken when he is with her.

 

It must really make him feel like a manley man, a true stud, that such a pretty young woman is so desparate for him.

 

He is enjoying your desparation HB.

It makes him feel like the young stud he thought he was back in the day.

[xxxheartbrokenxxx]

This says to me that you are an ego stroke to him. His wife is older, probaly closer in age to him, and he is remineded that he is no spring chicken when he is with her.

 

It must really make him feel like a manley man, a true stud, that such a pretty young woman is so desparate for him.

 

He is enjoying your desparation HB.

It makes him feel like the young stud he thought he was back in the day.

 

Yeah his wife is at least in her mid 40s. I remember thinking it was a horrible thing to say about her when he said that.

 

He is enjoying your desparation HB.

It makes him feel like the young stud he thought he was back in the day.

 

[jj33]

Phoenix is right HB.

 

And what a grim picture you paint of him. Can you imagine what his wife has been through?

 

She has 4 children with him. Reason enough to stay. You dont.

 

There is NO reason for you to be holding onto him other than loneliness.

 

Loneliness is difficult but its something we all have to face. We all have to do our best to make positive connections with ourselves and with other people.

 

 

He is not a positive connection.

 

And no before you say it you CANT wait for him to go to counselling or suggest it to him. You dont have another 10 years to lose on someone who may never ever be the man he is in your dreams.

 

Everyone wants to believe that if he was with me, it would all be different, wed be the perfect family. Hed no longer be an as*, hed be happy and fulfilled, because of the power of our love....

 

The writing is on the wall HB. You need to wake up from the dream and stop foolilng yourself.

[JeezLouise]

Cos if I did what hes doing I would have a guilty conscience. So would most people wouldnt they? He must be an odd ball. Well actually he is - my best friend thought it was weird when I said to her he has no friends and does nothing social at all and is rude to the general public when out. She thinks he sounds socially inept. Makes you wonder what his wife has been through over the last 20 years with him.

 

Socially inept?

 

More like Cluster B of the DSM-IV.

 

He's not an oddball. I'd say he's a mixture of histrionic and narcistic personality disorders, with a healthy dose of antisocial and borderline thrown in, just to make it more exciting.

 

But what KILLS me is this - "do you think he needs therapy?" DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH yes. Everyone here has been telling you for a year that he has some serious psychological issues.

[xxxheartbrokenxxx]

Please HB

 

Stop making excuses for him.

 

HE KNOWS

 

He knows enough. He saw you crying and screaming his name before he walked out on you to go back to his wife and kids.

 

He knows that you have intense feelings for him. He Knows what he is doing. He. Does. Not. Care.

 

AND

 

Even if he didn't know. Even if he had no idea how you felt about him then basic human decency and would compell someone to promptly call a friend about a change in plans

 

Stop providing excuses for him.

 

I agree - he knows how I loved him. Just not sure if he knows how much I still DO love him.

 

I agree he saw a bit of what it did to me last summer as I am the sort of person who always shows my emotions and says what Im thinking/feeling, but he doesnt know the finer details like almost losing my job over it etc.

[PhoenixRise]

I agree - he knows how I loved him. Just not sure if he knows how much I still DO love him.

 

I agree he saw a bit of what it did to me last summer as I am the sort of person who always shows my emotions and says what Im thinking/feeling, but he doesnt know the finer details like almost losing my job over it etc.

 

 

HB

 

Stop minimizing

 

He knows enough to know that he has hurt you and IS hurting you.

He called you initially because he was counting on the fact of your love and desparation to make you jump at the chance to spend some time with him. He was counting on you to bring him sex, companionship, and youthful feelings without him haveing to give you a damn thing in return except a broken heart when he left you crying and screaming his name after his contract is up and he returns to his wife and kids.

 

He is using the fact that you love him.

 

He KNOWS.

 

He knows exactly what he is doing. He knows exactly what it is costing you. He. Does. Not. Care.

[xxxheartbrokenxxx]

Well I have been meaning to write this...

 

He may have all those personality disorders we just discussed, the writing is on the wall I agree.

 

Again I am not writing this to make excuses for him, or to frustrate any of you. But I want you all to know...

 

My first impression when he moved in was 'oh my God - an old man has moved in!!! He must be a pervert to want to live in an apartment with 4 young girls!!! I avoided him for a few days and used to laugh about him with the other girls!!! Out of everyone who lived there its ironic that I was the girl who made the most fuss about it!

 

But then one evening we got talking - I became fascinated by him as he told me about studying abroad in an interesting city when he was just 13 for 1 year. Then he went on to say he could speak fluent.........and had lived and worked in.........for much of his life. He would always leave you wanting more - when he was in the middle of telling you an interesting story he would say 'I will tell you the rest another time' which would have me going 'no tell me now - I want to know - it sounds really interesting!'

 

I thought he was amazing. Very intelligent. Well educated. Very deep. And ever so handsome. I just never meet guys like this, EVER. Never any this intereting - just such average guys with average lives hence why I have had very little experience with men and why I just dont like anyone I meet in that way. At this point I didnt even admit it to myself though that I could possibly be attracted to him.

 

But then I quickly realized we ahad loads in common. I have always liked a particular type of muscle car - turns out he drove this particular car! Again that got us talking.

 

When he put his things in the fridge I realized we liked exactly the same food - smoothies, chocolate, fruit and veggie stuff! I love house and hip hop music, it is my passion and I am an amuteur DJ - he was into the same type of music too and gave me some original vinyl to add to my collection! We would spend hours listening to and talking about music - again I seldom meet people with the same interests despite going to places where this sort of music is played.

 

There was alot of coincidental stuff not mentioned previously but I feel I should say...

 

At the time he lived in this town Mon-Fri while his family were living elsewhere and he went home to them at weekends. I personally found myself in a roommate situation in this house due to moving away from my family to this town to be with a guy but it didnt work out, yet I chose to stay here instead of going back home.

 

Well, turned out his family lived in the same area my family did - and he started giving me lifts home most weekends so I could see my family and friends. Coincidental or what??? To return the favour I would cook for him about 3 times a week and we would eat dinner together with a bottle of wine and chocolate for afters.

 

We also had the same sense of humour, and knew what the other was thinking. Sometimes he would say something and I would have literally been just about to say the same thing and vice versa! Some of the things were really random as well. We were on exactly the same wavelength. We had the same pet hates and everything. He was like a magnet to me, we quickly developed a deep bond.

 

Like I said earlier - he does not mix with people, and I have a very strong personality, I am 'different' and dont often gel with people, not many people 'get' me and share my likes/dislikes but with him we just 'clicked'. It just felt so right and I have never experienced anything like it before.

 

It started to bother me how inappropriate our relationship had become - I thought we were getting on a little bit too well, and sometimes I would distance myself feeling really guilty about his wife and kids. He would make constant sexual innuendos as well which made me laugh but deep down I knew it was inappropriate.

 

Anyway, a few months after he moved in I was diagnosed with a very rare but sight threatening eye disease - he became my rock throughout this very frightening time. Had it not been for him I would not have known to keep pushing to see the best eye Dr and demand treatment etc. He was very concerned and kept Googling the technical terms for me and was always there to talk to about it - he understood what I was going through and what 'loss of central vision' must be like. Which is what has happened to one of my eyes. And the fear is still there it could happen to my good eye and if it did I wouldnt be able to read or recognise faces - I would be disabled and prone to very serious accidents thorough not being able to see. To this day I still cannot believe I have this condition, especially at my age - normally its the elderly who are prone to losing their central vision, I was so angry that I had this at such a young age.

 

But I fear that if I did go blind I would have no one to look after me and it hurts so badly, I feel so alone. MM was much more supportive than my parents or friends about this.

 

I hope this provides an insight why the bond between us is so strong and why I love him very deeply. And why I miss him even now. When he left it was like a bereavement, I felt so empty. The pain was just indescribable.

 

Sorry if that was long!

 

Oh and we didnt get physical at all until he gave a months notice that he was leaving - and I refused intercourse until he could offer me a proper relationship and we did everything but. He did hit on me quite a few times throughout his time living there and I resisted but when he gave his notice and told me his wife and kids were moving here I just didnt hold back anymore. I was hard. It felt so good, yet so wrong because I knew we shouldnt be doing it.

[JeezLouise]

This is going to sound mean, but...

 

Big deal.

 

That is NOTHING any different than MILLIONS of people have felt. This is not special. This is not written in the stars. God did not ordain this.

 

I have felt this THREE times in my life. So what? that doesn't mean that the relationship is meant to be - it doesn't mean that life suspends all reason and compassion for it.

 

You can feel ALL of that - and it still be unhealthy and wrong.

 

Maturity comes when you say "WOW that was intense - and it is killing me and needs to end. Now."

[jj33]

Its great that he was good to you and your rock when you were going through a difficult time.

 

But that still does NOT give him license to treat you the way he has treated you ever since.

 

You are still making excuses. Take the good from it - you need to look after yourself and care for yourself even if there isnt someone standing next to you telling you to see the best eye doctor.

 

The "bond" is not the same for him as it is for you. Noone who loves you in a healthy way would behave the way he behaves towards you.

 

All of this is about your self esteem. You need to learn how to care for yourself and protect yourself.

[xxxheartbrokenxxx]

It was very shocking how he started treating me once he had moved out of here compared to what he used to be like. I just couldnt adjust, it was a terrible time for me.

 

Although obviously he does not feel the same way about me, he did say to me once that 'its rare for me to get on with someone as well as I do with you'. So he did recognise that we clicked. Some posters on my previous threads even thought he used our common interests to his advantage - to 'groom' me.

 

Jeez - I know you say that attraction like that happens every day, but for me its the first time I felt it in that way - it did feel very special and unique to me.

[fooled once]

You are still making excuses.

 

You cannot see that he is NOT going to come rushing for you

 

And if he did, you should want to kick him in the balls; not dream of having kids with him.

 

For all you know, he moved back WITH HIS WIFE and kids. You don't know he didn't.

 

You know nothing.

 

Know why? Because he didn't care enough about you to call.

 

Period.

 

Let go of the fantasy you have in your head.

 

How can you love someone so dispicable? Seriously? He is a liar. He has no compassion. He is a cheater. He doesn't care about others. He doesn't have manners or common courtesy.

 

What is there to hold onto? Memories? Do you remember how he abandoned you? Did you "love him" then? I can't image how you could.

 

You want to find love. That is understandable. But you are re-creating him to be someone he isn't.

 

HE DUMPED YOU and yet here it is; almost a year later, and you still pine for him? You refuse to change your email or cell number because he might call?

 

Sorry, I am done. I truly don't think you are getting it and I have no doubt that if he ever calls you again, you will dump your life for him.

[JeezLouise]

You are missing the point. It is a GREAT feeling. Of course it is special, and of course it is thrilling.

 

But it isn't the be-all and end-all of life.

 

Being able to recognize that something is BAD for you is more important than getting a thrill out of an ultimately toxic relationship.

 

Being whole and healthy is what is important in life - and being able to recognize unhealthy and debilitating behaviors and people. And THEN being able to step away from those behaviors and people - and stay away.

 

If you were an alcoholic and he was a bottle of Two Buck Chuck, he might taste mighty fine and make you feel pretty good for a few hours - but at the end of the night, you have a bitchin' cheap hangover, a furry tongue, a lost license a DWI, and 20-to-life for a hit-and-run where you killed a 9 year old little boy.

[PhoenixRise]

HB

 

The things he did for you, he did because they are convienant, they cost him nothing, and he knew they were leading up to getting sex with you.

 

AND everything you are talking about happened over a year ago. What has he done for you lately?

 

Those things created a bond on your part. They did not equal a bond on his part. I know it may be hard for you to believe that the intense feelings you have are all one sided but it is true. This man does not love you. He does not have strong feelings for you.

 

AND when I see the things, the small crumbs he gave you to inspire such devotion and intensity from you it makes me sad for you.

 

IF he was there for you during your illness that is good, but I wonder if you were so caught up in your infatuation with HIM that you didn't accept the full measure of support from your friends and family.

 

HB please stop making excuses for him and for yourself. You think that if everyone could just understand how good it was back then everyone will see that it is understandable for you to continue to hold on more than a year later after everything has gone to hell.

 

HB He was married then.

He has treated you like something stinky stuck to the bottom of his shoe since then.

He is still married.

He doesn't love you.

He is bad for you.

 

Let. Go.

[jj33]

HB noone is saying it is easy. I know that. I am in touch with xMM frequently and for the past few months he has done all sorts of very nice things for me all the time, under the cloak of "business". He creates opportunities for me, gives me information I might not otherwise have access to... does everything he can reasonably do in a business context to help me succeed and make my life better.

 

Recently he has been trying to spend time with me every chance he gets in a business context. But it doesnt matter. He is married. He is married he is married.

 

And NONE of those things mean that he is leaving and that we will live happily ever after.

 

All it means is that he wants to be in my company and my good graces and that he cares for me. But it means nothing in terms of a romance. There is no romance. He is married.

 

Contrast that to your situation. WHAT DOES IT SAY?

 

This man is treating you like dirt, doesnt care about your feelings.

 

And yet you jump like a puppy every time he contacts you and feeds you some line of garbage that is convenient for him.

 

We established weeks ago that the "dream" as you call it was really a nightmare. A third world country, that can be EXTREMELY DANGEROUS, where you DONT speak the language, would be totally dependent on him... its not glamorous its poverty stricken.

 

Yes he may pay for a month of lost wages if you visited but you could also lose your job at home and end up with NOTHING but more tears and heartbreak.

 

Your vision of what "could have been" was extremely naive. With or without his W in the picture.

 

Its an illusion that you feed yourself so you dont have to face the fact that ITS OVER. The "dream" that you had of a future with this man is warped. Dead. Finito. Yes you may have had something good with him but his feelings dont mirror yours, hard as that is to accept.

 

Cry scream, eat chocolate do whatever you have to do, but you have to stop living in a fantasy world. Its taking your youth from you.

[xxxheartbrokenxxx]

Hey guys

 

I realize I have been kidding myself, thinking that he has offered me this dream, then I carry on fantasizing about what could be as it prevents the depression coming.

 

I know I must face the depression, but please consider how hard that is for me - to accept the dream is over forever and that I must once again grieve the loss of a man very special to me. This time after he made actual 'plans' for us to be together.

 

It scares me to think I will go through the depression again, I really dont think I can physically or emotionally handle it. Look at what it did to me last summer. I really just cannot face all that again. Well it is starting to kick in anyway, the last few weeks waiting for him to contact me have been painful enough.

 

I am already a mess, my concentration at work is starting to suffer again and I often find myself looking out the window thinking of him and tears start welling up in my eyes, although fortunately for me my bosses business has expanded dramatically since last year so therefore because there are more employees I do not stand out as much if I am not being productive. That sounded really bad. I do care about my performance and feel so guilty that I am not on top form, when I am going through this and my work is suffering I feel that I dont deserve my pay cheque.

 

My cycle is all over the place, I had 2 month gaps between my periods TWICE, then recently I had a 2 week gap since my last one. I get constant headaches and feel lethargic all the time with no motivation to do anything. I usually work out everyday but the over the last few weeks with everything thats been happening, I have not been able to find the motivation to do anything - although yesterday I forced myself to so some weights and toning, cardio is out of the question right now as its too fast and I cannot bring myself to do anything energetic. Some days I just feel like I would rather not be here, and that theres just no point in me being alive although I would not have the balls to take my own life despite being in this much pain.

 

I just feel so pathetic and weak. I look at other members on here who help themselves and give up on a situation because they recognize that no matter how good it feels - it is causing them pain/lowering their self esteem or whatever.

 

Jeez I agree with you that I need to start recognizing this myself but feel I am a long way off. With me there just seems to be no boundaries to how people think they can treat me and with me I do not seem to recognize whats right or wrong with regards to how people treat me. For example, I have been bullied for much of my life - nasty and aggressive people seem drawn to me like a magnet and recently I was badly picked on by someone in work but I was too scared to stick up for myself and it carried on for months.

With the MM it seems to be like punishment and reward for me. You know, I go through months of pain but oh it all seems soooo worth it just for him to be able to hold me in his arms again...followed by him abandoning me once more but because the intimacy feels THAT good, the months of pain seem worth it and it makes me go back for more.

 

But back to some of the Loveshack people I admire - jj33 who ended things with her MM even though it was painful to do so, and still is a very difficult situation - she even has to work with him! But jj you still manage to hold it together and despite his recent flattery you have remained strong and not given in. I just do not know how you do it - if it was me I would probably have carried on 'because it felt good sometimes'. And I may have thought 'ok, hes married and hes not leaving but its better to have him sometimes than not at all'.

 

Wildsoul - her MM actually left his wife and they set up home together. The chemistry was amazing but she did not feel comfortable because of his mental abuse and aggression and ended it on her terms. Even though they were very sexually/romantically compatible. If that was me I would probably have kept trying to make it work and pretend the abusive behaviour hadnt happened. Put it to the back of my mind.

 

Theres a woman who recieved flowers from her xMM today on another thread (I forget her name) but she is sticking to her guns despite that incident stirring up her feelings for him. She still wants to be NC. If that was me I would be so flattered by the flowers and read far too much into it. And probably call him up and tell him I still wanted to be with him!

 

Bottom line is, for me it would seem - as long as that intense chemistry is there, I will overlook everything bad. I very rarely get it with guys though, Im terribly picky so when it DOES happen I cling onto it at all costs.

 

I am addicted to that feeling of being turned on by him. Being with him awakened my sexual desires. Before him I was content just being 'on my own' if you get me but since getting intimate with him it just does not cut the mustard anymore. I physically ache for him and amongst everything else I just cannot cope with the severe sexual frustration. Seriously I cant. I only have sex with men I love, I do not have one night stands, EVER. So going out and meeting a random stranger to let my frustration out with is not an option for me. Its that emotional connection and intimacy you have with someone rather than just the physical sensations that does it for me. I cannot have one without the other. Right now, and for the last God knows how long - its only HIM that I have wanted in that way. But I cant have him so as well as the depression I have THIS to put up with as well. Its just such fun being me.

 

I know people on here are frustrated beyond belief with me about everything to do with this situation, for those that are I really do not mean to wind you up. I know I am hard work. Theres a reason that certain friends and my sister just refuse to talk about this anymore. I am a nightmare when Im depressed about him. I repeat myself over and over, feel like Im going mad and like Im on a merry go round. Urgh.

 

I just find it so difficult to imagine how he didnt feel for me what I feel for him. I mean, I only get intimate with men I love. I must keep reminding myself that people do not always get intimate because they love someone. But when its 'just a shag' it tends to be wham bam thank you mam. So I cannot get my head round why MM would spend hours and hours just kissing me, cuddling me and stroking my body??? You have to feel SOMETHING for a person to do all that dont you???

 

I remember the first physical contact. In fact I think it happened exactly 1 year ago today when he gave his notice that he was moving out of this house. There had been over a years worth of sexual and emotional chemistry built up, when he kissed me it felt EXPLOSIVE. No one had ever kissed me in this way before. After the first kiss he said to me 'I had been wanting to do that for a long time. And every sexual contact after that felt equally as good. I am addicted to that feeling. That intimate/desperate sexual feeling that only he gives me. I just cannot cope with the sexual frustration on top of the depression, its just killing me.

 

Sorry if this seemed to go on and on, but I needed to let all that out.

 

Thanks for listening.

[Owl]

You're still focusing on how wonderful (your fantasy) this is, rather than the REALITY of the situation.

 

Still.

 

After more advice than I even care to consider to the contrary from virtually ever member of this community.

 

Still.

 

Think about that.

 

What are you hoping to hear from us?

[wildsoul]

Sorry if this seemed to go on and on, but I needed to let all that out.

 

Thanks for listening.

Great awareness and honesty HB! You've got some long-standing patterns to undo, but this really can be the best turnaround point of your life.

 

I've got your new theme song ready. It's by a 2 woman comedy team called Garfunkel and Oates. The song is called "Self Esteem."

[joybean72]

You may even want to search for a local CODA (Co-Dependant's Anonymous) meeting in your area. Just a suggestion.