His Wife Is Leaving and MM Said He Wants To See Me...

[MeaganRaye]

what country does the MM live in heartbroken?

[wildsoul]

And that implies prostitution? She already has a relationship with the man, so it wuoldn't make her a prostitute if he paid for the trip

Meagan, you were very cavelier in your 1st replies. It seemed like you were framing the decision as if it's all about getting a free trip!

 

You've already recanted that now. Don't think I'm accusing you or anything like that. It's SO easy to comment and not know the back story. That's just the nature of the medium. We've all done that.

[xxxheartbrokenxxx]

It's noble that you're wanting to own up to your decisions and not blame it all on him.

 

What should be coming out of all this is you should be making BETTER decisions now.

 

The point is not about getting strong enough within yourself so that you can continue being with your abuser!

 

HB, I e-love you. I'm recognizing that I'm feeling amped up and wanting to shake some sense into you. I know it's because I'm trying to shout thru the denial. I'm going to back off now. Not abandoning you, but I'll step back from the keyboard. Your story is so upsetting to me. I wish I could protect you. I wish I could.

HB, I e-love you.

Bless you that was such a sweet thing to say and I really do appreciate how much you care.

 

I'm recognizing that I'm feeling amped up and wanting to shake some sense into you. I know it's because I'm trying to shout thru the denial. I'm going to back off now. Not abandoning you, but I'll step back from the keyboard. Your story is so upsetting to me. I wish I could protect you. I wish I could.

You sound so much like my friend that I went to visit last week - she was so concerned about me and why I would put myself in this situ again after hes been so vile to me and she said she cannot bear to watch this train wreck and never wants to hear his name mentioned again! She has spent hours in the past giving me advice about him and now feels she has wasted her time as Im still hankering after him. I do feel really guilty about bending her ear so much last summer/fall, and for wanting to go back to him now - but I also feel it has made our friendship stronger and did help me at the time, even though I never fell out of love with him and couldnt move on, I just didnt admit that to her.

[jj33]

It doesnt matter Meagan. You dont ask those questions on a public forum.

 

But Heartbroken I know 2 people - one was a pharmaceutical rep - who was a waitress in my country when I met her, another was my old cleaner - who had a great job where MM is - they both left t and because it was so difficult to live there even if you do live in a gated community.

[MeaganRaye]

jj33, I think it was very important to ask if he was paying for the trip or not. Any decent man who wanted to see her would pay for her plane ticket there. It would suck to pay for the plane ticketdown there AND get played.

[jj33]

Im talking about which country it is. And in this case no it doesnt matter if he is paying. He is not good for her. He is NOT a decent man - he is simply a man with cash. Cash doesnt make someone decent. Hes 49 and hes using this poor young girl and she keeps letting him. You cant relate because you have a much different personality. And I dont mean that badly - hes one man who deserves the revenge you were talking about on another thread...

[MeaganRaye]

Im talking about which country it is. And in this case no it doesnt matter if he is paying. He is not good for her. He is NOT a decent man - he is simply a man with cash. Cash doesnt make someone decent.

You are right, jj33

 

But heartbroken, you should have hurt him in the wallets a bit..I would tell him to pay for my plane ticket and tell him to wire me some extra cash to live off of..and then just not go. Just bruise his ego a bit.

 

If it were me I wuold have emptied his wallets big time

[fooled once]

I can't believe you are even thinking of going.

 

He is NOT into you.

 

if he truly cared about you, he would come to you as a free man, come to YOU. He is a vile, ugly, gross man.

 

WHAT do you love about him?

 

What do you even KNOW about him?

 

You are not thinking clearly to even think this was a good idea. I mean, everyone you know is telling you to NOT go.

 

He is preying on you, on your obsession with him and with his past history of aggression, why in the HELL would you go to a place where you know NO ONE and put yourself in harms way that way?

 

Honestly, you are setting yourself up for heartache. And if you go, and when it doesn't work out, you then have no one to blame but yourself.

 

try healing yourself FIRST and learning to love yourself. You can't love anyone else until you love YOU.

 

I am just blown away that you think this is a good idea.

[xxxheartbrokenxxx]

It doesnt matter Meagan. You dont ask those questions on a public forum.

 

But Heartbroken I know 2 people - one was a pharmaceutical rep - who was a waitress in my country when I met her, another was my old cleaner - who had a great job where MM is - they both left t and because it was so difficult to live there even if you do live in a gated community.

 

Yeah I remember when you PMed me about that - I still have the message actually. He does live in an upmarket area of the city - do they live in gated communities as well do you know? Sorry if I sound naive. I have googled the place alot and you never seem to see the negatives mentioned.

 

It is not the first time MM has lived there - he has been there several times on long term work contracts and numerous holidays as well - he obviously loves the place.

[MeaganRaye]

Yeah I remember when you PMed me about that - I still have the message actually. He does live in an upmarket area of the city - do they live in gated communities as well do you know? Sorry if I sound naive. I have googled the place alot and you never seem to see the negatives mentioned.

 

It is not the first time MM has lived there - he has been there several times on long term work contracts and numerous holidays as well - he obviously loves the place.

 

heartbroken, I heard you were very distraught about how he broke your heart..did you have to take off from work? Did it affect you financially? If so, did he know about it and what did he do to help you (financially of course).

[fooled once]

Re-read the link posted up there from what you wrote several months ago.

 

He doesn't love.

 

He will NOT leave his wife and kids for you.

 

He wasn't considerate in his promises to call.

 

He treated you horribly at the end.

 

He doesn't love you.

 

He likes having his ego fed by a young woman who is beyond infatuated with him.

 

It probably is a good thing he lives in another country or I feel you would stalk him.

 

He doesn't love you.

 

Did I mention he doesn't love you?

 

Please stop this obsessing on him and focus on your life.

 

You are 26/27 years old and you have made nothing of your life in teh last months because of your obsession with him.

 

STOP STOP STOP STOP.

 

Please -- you are going to end up in a mental hospital.

 

And he is NOT worth it!!

[xxxheartbrokenxxx]

I can't believe you are even thinking of going.

 

He is NOT into you.

 

if he truly cared about you, he would come to you as a free man, come to YOU. He is a vile, ugly, gross man.

 

WHAT do you love about him?

 

What do you even KNOW about him?

 

You are not thinking clearly to even think this was a good idea. I mean, everyone you know is telling you to NOT go.

 

He is preying on you, on your obsession with him and with his past history of aggression, why in the HELL would you go to a place where you know NO ONE and put yourself in harms way that way?

 

Honestly, you are setting yourself up for heartache. And if you go, and when it doesn't work out, you then have no one to blame but yourself.

 

try healing yourself FIRST and learning to love yourself. You can't love anyone else until you love YOU.

 

I am just blown away that you think this is a good idea.

 

I lived with this man for over a year (he was a roommate, not because he had left his wife for me!) and we grew very close, he was there for me when I had a health issue and took an interest in my life, we also had loads in common and got on so well - it was an emotional A long before it became physical

 

When it became physical - although I really enjoyed it as I have never felt such intense passion for someone - I felt guilty about his wife and children so did everything except have intercourse with him. Although oral is a very intimate act - some would say just as if not more than intercourse so I dont know what I achieved by that.

 

Anyway, he does not have a history of aggression - the quote you saw was because he was so eager to ultimately have intercourse with me that one LS member thought a sexual assualt could be likely which scared me and caused me to write that post.

[fooled once]

But you don't really know him.

 

This happened over a year ago.

 

He is still a slimeball for cheating on his wife -- but I think you are romanticizing him from the memories you want to remember.

 

You dont want to remember how much he hurt you. You don't want to remember how inconsiderate and disloyal he is.

 

And you have no idea how many other women he has in his life. I mean, do you really believe you are the only one? I highly doubt it; but you are very insecure and very needy to him and he LOVES that. He loves that he can twist you around his finger.

 

If he wants to see you, he would come to see you. Period.

 

Instead, he wants someone to be at home waiting for him; willing to wait on him and fulfil his needs once his wife moves out (if she does).

 

For all you know, the wife and kids moving out could be temporary.

 

Why start up something again with this pig? Why would you walk into this knowing full well he won't commit to you.

 

How can he - he already has a wife.

[MeaganRaye]

the quote you saw was because he was so eager to ultimately have intercourse with me that one LS member thought a sexual assualt could be likely which scared me and caused me to write that post.

 

This makes me so jealous:rolleyes: I wish a guy would be that eager to have intercourse with me. My ex never had that kind of passion for me

[xxxheartbrokenxxx]

heartbroken, I heard you were very distraught about how he broke your heart..did you have to take off from work? Did it affect you financially? If so, did he know about it and what did he do to help you (financially of course).

 

It was a very difficult time for me, I was just broken.

 

I took in total about 1 month of work with severe depression and at one point I hated leaving the house for fear of bumping into him and/or his family. Also because my head was in a bad place, when I was at work my performance suffered and it did not make financial sense for my boss to keep me on so she fired me, but then changed her mind as I managed to turn it around just in time.

 

Also I was going to move to another city as there were constant reminders of him everywhere. He used to live with me as a roommate you see, thats why theres such a strong emotional attachment to him - life just seemed so awful when he left to move his family to this area, but then ultimately move them overseas a few months later!

 

So yes, it did affect me financially although he does not know this - he does not know any detail other than I was heartbroken when he left. He was not in touch with me when I was going through the worst of it, he has no idea just how painful it was for me, or how long I suffered.

 

But hell no - I would not expect him to reimburse me for my loss of earnings!

[jj33]

Heartbroken I dont mean to be harsh with you but I just want to shake you - this has train wreck written all over it. I will PM you some articles on the issues that you would be dealing with.

[fooled once]

This makes me so jealous:rolleyes: I wish a guy would be that eager to have intercourse with me. My ex never had that kind of passion for me

 

Sorry, but that is just sick. That truly is.

[jj33]

Honey what you havent come to terms with is that this man only cares about himself. His ability to care for others is limited.

 

It doesnt matter if he loves you or thinks he loves you. Rememeber when he told you if sex wasnt good for you he would end the A? What does that say about a man? It says so many things in addition to the fact that he is a selfish lover.

 

And the fact that he bragged that he was always able to satisfy other women? Bragging about the fact that hes never been loyal.

 

Hes a bad bad man in an unsafe country with NO care for you, his family or anyone else.

 

Take your money and go to counseling. Its the best thing you can do for yourself.

[jj33]

And all he said is his W became a bitch over the past few months - of COURSE she did. He took her to a supremely unsafe place where she cant speak the language. The fact that he wants you there on tap is not flattering. It just speaks to how selfish he is.

 

When its time for him to come home he will go RIGHT back to his family just like he did last time. You may THINK somethings different - but what if it was - then you would be stuck with this man. And eventually he would cheat on you and you would be stuck there with him...

 

Its a train wreck.

[Liquid]

And that implies prostitution? She already has a relationship with the man, so it wuoldn't make her a prostitute if he paid for the trip

 

He offered to pay for the trip and pay for lost wages in exchange for companionship and expected "services." It's clear that he doesn't love her. If that's not prostitution, what is?

[xxxheartbrokenxxx]

He offered to pay for the trip and pay for lost wages in exchange for companionship and expected "services." It's clear that he doesn't love her. If that's not prostitution, what is?

 

But I love him very deeply, seriously this is not what it may look like - read my previous threads - Im a genuine person.

 

I am not that sort of girl, I only have sex with men I love and do not believe in one night stands. I can count my number of partners on one hand thank you very much.

 

This is not about using him as a meal ticket, I first fell for him 2 years ago not even knowing how much money he earnt - well actually I still have no idea. Two years on from when we first got to know each other I still feel exactly the same despite trying to move on, I dont often click with people and MM was so special to me - I had never felt that way about anyone.

[jj33]

Honey its not about you being a prostitute, its about HIM. He doesnt treat you properly. He doesnt care about anyone other than himself. And the fact that he SAYS he would do various things... I wouldnt bank on it or expect him to make good. Hes an aggressive liar. He cant be counted on to even keep in communication or call when he says he will...

 

And watch when he calls or contacts you he will somehow make it your fault... mwhow she

[bentnotbroken]

jj33, I think it was very important to ask if he was paying for the trip or not. Any decent man who wanted to see her would pay for her plane ticket there. It would suck to pay for the plane ticketdown there AND get played.

 

 

That's your mistake, thinking he was a decent man. He is a cheat and a liar, not a good definition of a decent man.

[greengoddess]

They are divorcing he says. The marriage is over. Then why could he not take the time to talk with you? His marriage is over. SHE'S leaving. So why was he still in hiding calling you.

 

Wife was unhappy and going home. He wanted you there to keep house for him. Wife saw skype call. He got nailed. He told her you mean nothing. Sorry.

 

Run Run fast.

[jj33]

Exactly Bent.

 

Heartbroken there are all kinds of tales on these boards but yours is one of the scariest. Everyone is hurt by an affair but you have been hurt so so badly and you are still willing to go back for more. This is not a man who is confused or lacked courage to leave, this is a BAD BAD man.

 

The internet is full of people who will give you advice some good some bad but its no substitute for getting real help with the issues. If you are really thinking of going (despite the fact that all of us think its a dreadful idea) you really need to discuss this with your counselor. Im quite sure he or she would have alot to say about that.

 

And your family and friends. They love you and care about you. Theres a reason they are all sick to death of the idea that you would even entertain communication from him.

 

Noone wants you to be lonely. But this is not the man for you.