butter_cup Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 Ok, so both my 'hubby' and I are up for a threesome. Both knowing the boundaries. We will start talking about it and what all is aloud. I'm ok with anything and everything. But, today when discussing it - he said "most girls would not be ok with the idea of my c*&k deep inside another girl & you of all girls want to watch this?" Both him & I are unsure of approaching someone up for this. Help? I am the kind of gal who is up for it & then quickly turns back and is not. Then, we start talking about it again... and then repeat. I've had my experiences - but not like this. Link to post Share on other sites
boldjack Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 BC, It sounds like both of you are ambivalent about this. I wouldn't DO anything until ALL of the issues are sorted out. Link to post Share on other sites
era Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 Both him & I are unsure of approaching someone up for this. Well, yeah, because who are you planning to approach?..female friends? They would possibly be offended that you asked. If your intention is for it to be just a one time only experience, then hire a pro...someone who knows what she's doing. Link to post Share on other sites
jnj express Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 You have hubby in quotes is he your H or your BF. Anyway---you two are playing with fire. Way too many times the 3 some or open mge, ends up with one of the partners falling for one of the people they are having sex with, and the mge., and family get blown apart. Mge. is meant for 2, anything else, get a divorce and be single and play any games you want, but doing what you are describing has red flags all over it, for both you and your H. Link to post Share on other sites
Author butter_cup Posted May 5, 2009 Author Share Posted May 5, 2009 Ok. Well thank you for your input on how I should put HUBBY but, I will stick with hubby in my quotation marks. Until my relationship with my "HUBBY" is established here. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 Sounds like you look at this situation as fantasy material, but really don't want to act on it. Link to post Share on other sites
AAlike Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 There are certainly people that are able to engage in this kind of thing and have no hangups about it. However, until you know that you are in fact one of those people, you have to realize that there are also plenty of people that THINK that they can handle this sort of thing and don't realize until it's too late...you can't really undo it and it will most likely stick with you. The tough thing is that it's difficult to know which type you are until the situation actually happens. so for me, anytime I'd thought about anything like this it has become a simple risk vs. reward ratio. The potential reward is a unique sexual experience - however, the risk is potentially jeopardizing my relationship. so for me I would prefer to leave well enough alone and not take that risk. The only way that I might consider it is if our sex life got so mundane that it was already jeopardizing the relationship, and I don't see that happening anytime soon. Link to post Share on other sites
lostsunsets Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 So long as you are prepared to lose your husband and marriage, go for it. Nah, he would never screw her again without me knowing, he would never have an affair or like having sex more with her then me. I would never enjoy the bi experience so much that I would carry on an affair without him knowing. Link to post Share on other sites
Mahatma Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 as someone else said, it sounds like you enjoy the fantasy more than the reality. Link to post Share on other sites
Javelin Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 Ok, so both my 'hubby' and I are up for a threesome. Both knowing the boundaries. We will start talking about it and what all is aloud. I'm ok with anything and everything. But, today when discussing it - he said "most girls would not be ok with the idea of my c*&k deep inside another girl & you of all girls want to watch this?" Both him & I are unsure of approaching someone up for this. Help? I am the kind of gal who is up for it & then quickly turns back and is not. Then, we start talking about it again... and then repeat. I've had my experiences - but not like this. Even if you have boundaries in place for this sexual experience; you're still not ready to walk the path. You're having too much doubt and it'll only lead to jealous and betrayal. I'd suggest sticking to just you and your hubby, before you damage your relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
J-BABY Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 I agree if you have doubts about it I wouldnt even do it. It would probably just mess things up between you and your "hubby" and it would probably be best to talk to him if you havent already about the matter the best thing to do in situations like this is to talk to each other... if you really do have strong feelings for him then thats what i would do, SECRETS can hurt a realationship more then you know.... Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 Ok, so both my 'hubby' and I are up for a threesome. Both knowing the boundaries. Boundaries with 3somes? . Ya, ok. We will start talking about it and what all is aloud. I'm ok with anything and everything. So much for the boundaries:rolleyes: But, today when discussing it - he said "most girls would not be ok with the idea of my c*&k deep inside another girl & you of all girls want to watch this?" Both him & I are unsure of approaching someone up for this. Help? I am the kind of gal who is up for it & then quickly turns back and is not. Then, we start talking about it again... and then repeat. I've had my experiences - but not like this. Out of curiosity, what kind of 3some are we talking about? FMF? MFM? Or both? I've seen alot of men hypocritically want a FMF, but wouldn't be fair about it if their "SO" wanted a MFM too. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 Oh, and from the sound of it, once you 2 do cross that 3some territory, I think you are going to have major marital problems. In my opinion, I don't think either of you, especially as evidenced by your reluctance, are going to be ok with the thought of another man having you, or another woman having him. I think most people like the idea of it because it give them a chance to screw someone other than their spouse...but once its done, I think most realize, they don't like the idea and that getting some on the side with someone else doesn't make up for the thought of your spouse getting "theirs". Link to post Share on other sites
Dman Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 This is the sort of thing you should only do if you are both 100% sure you want to do it. Threesomes can create unforseeable problems of jealousy and regret. If you have doubts, however small, don't do it! However if this is something he really wants to do even if you don't I fear he will only eventually find someone else to share the experience with. Link to post Share on other sites
J-BABY Posted May 10, 2009 Share Posted May 10, 2009 I have to disagree with DMAN i personally have wanted to do it with several girls but it was a want not a need and if it happened then great if not owell but that didnt mean i was gona go find someone else to do it with. Link to post Share on other sites
lostsunsets Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 Bump, What about it buttercup? Link to post Share on other sites
its only me Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 not from personal experience but an old friend of mine and her husband WERE swingers. He is a cop and she works in a corporate office. They found a few women and did their swap with the wife watching, sometimes participating (yuck!!) well she justified it all by saying he can not see being with one woman forever, so they do it together and its all ok. As long as she knows, its not cheating. (ya what ever huh!) WELL one of their women they had together ended up being one he met a few times a week when "he had to work late" it ended in a full affair and they divorced. He is now with the new girl (probably doing 3some with her too) She never thought their extra-curricular activities would cause this since it was agreed on together! Be careful on what you decide on doing! Link to post Share on other sites
lora22 Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 IMO the only way to do a threesome is to gueststar. Link to post Share on other sites
singleish Posted May 28, 2009 Share Posted May 28, 2009 I'm not sure if you are trying to find a reason to try or a reason not to try. But either way, don't just jump into a full fledged threesome. Neither of you has any idea how you will feel after the fact. If you are really curious, do a google search for swing clubs, or swinger forums and find a "swinger party" somewhere near you and go. Establish rules between yourselves that you will ALWAYS stay together, and there will be NO NO NO penetration of any kind except between the two of you. No dicks in holes, no fingers in holes, no tongues in holes. (FWIW, this is referred to as "Soft-Swinging") Oh, and limit the amount of alchohol you drink. You want all perceptions and most decisionmaking unimpared. Go to the party, have a good time, see how you feel watching each other get kersnoodled by other parties. Then go home (or stay) and *$#k like a new couple. Then make sure you take at least a week to think the whole thing over. And just in case you decide to "Just Do It!" DON'T ADD A THIRD PERSON THAT YOU WILL EVER SEE AGAIN!!! Hire a pro, or go somewhere else. Adding someone you both know is ALWAYS ALWAYS asking for problems. Link to post Share on other sites
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