RealHoney Posted October 21, 2003 Share Posted October 21, 2003 I have been very good friends with this guy for about 6 months now. We hang out in the same group of friends and I call him for relationship advice etc. I get along well with him but never felt any physical attraction. Well last weekend I saw him at a party and he asked to speak to me privately. We went off to a room and he confessed to me that he likes me more than a friend, that every time we're together he just wants to kiss me, and that he thinks we'd make a great couple. I was so shocked - I couldn't believe I had missed the signs. He was totally cool and said no pressure or anything, but that he'd like to get to know me on a deeper level. We shared a kiss, but it was mostly because I felt like I had to give him SOMETHING for laying it all out on the line! Now this guy is not ugly by any stretch of the imagination, but he's just not my type. I don't know whether I should compromise my usual physical/sexual standards and go out with him a few times, or just tell him straight up that I'm not attracted to him in that way. On the other hand maybe that spark can develop with time? I just don't want things to get messy or feel guilty for stringing him along. What would YOU do? Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted October 21, 2003 Share Posted October 21, 2003 Do you enjoy his company? A lot? If so, then it's worth spending more time with him to see if you become fonder of him. I don't think people should let appearance stand in the way, particularly as it is possible to change one's opinion about a person's appearance. If he has a lot of the qualities you'd like to have in a partner, then it would be worth it to check out the possibilities. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted October 21, 2003 Share Posted October 21, 2003 I don't think you should ever go out with somebody you're not interested in that way just because THEY want to. Hell, if people did that they could just start dating almost anybody. moimeme is correct that once you get to know him you may find many qualities about him to be very attractive. And, yes, you might even ultimately get a physical jolt from him. But I think you're better off dating people you are attracted to from the get-go. That's the way nature sort of meant it to happen. If you start dating this guy and you begin to feel a strong bond to him minus the physical attraction, you will both end up being hurt. You can't eliminate the physical passion from the relationship scenario. Therefore do a lot of thinking before you consider this. Female's abilities to convert a situation like this vary from person to person. You may be able to do it...you may not. You also may find out that not only is he physically unattractive to you now...but he may turn into a real butt hole later. Hope you make the right decision. It wouldn't hurt to go out with him a few times...but to string it along long enough for some attraction to possibly develop is not something you may want to do at a young age. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted October 21, 2003 Share Posted October 21, 2003 Female's abilities to convert a situation like this vary from person to person This is probably true. People 'need' upfront physical attraction to varying degrees. For some people, so long as the other person isn't a complete turnoff, sparks could develop. For others, once sparkless, always sparkless. All I know is that there have been several occasions that I was not initially attracted to a fellow but the attraction grew when I got to know and become fond of him. That works, I guess, for those of us who are seduced from the brain down Link to post Share on other sites
Leikela Posted October 21, 2003 Share Posted October 21, 2003 All I know is that there have been several occasions that I was not initially attracted to a fellow but the attraction grew when I got to know and become fond of him. This is totally true for me too. The two serious relationships that I've been in started off as friendships, where I wasn't neccesarily attracted to the guy. Once I got to know them and fell in love with them, the sparks were off the charts, especially with my current boyfriend. Physical attraction can definitely grow into major sparks after you get to know the person. I would give him a chance and see what happens. You'll never know if you don't try. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts