What's the biggest emotional problem (about self improvement) people facing today?

[yesha]

Hello guys,

 

I'm just making a survey and i want your opinions.

 

1) What do you think is the top most problem people face today regarding personal being and self improvement?

 

2) What are the conditions that bring about this problem/difficulty?

 

Thanks guys, I'll be waiting for your replies.

[knaveman]

I feel that the biggest problem we all face is that we are meant to be important. Why can't anyone just live anymore? Why do we all have to be important or famous or super special? Why do we all feel entitled?

 

Maybe "entitlement" is a better way to sum that up.

 

Also, lack of compassion. No one cares for anyone else anymore. No one cares if the next guy lives or dies, only if we get what we are supposed to get. Entitlement. The next guy is cheating us, or trying to get one over on us, or trying to hurt us. No one cares if the next guy is hurting himself. No one cares if the next guy needs help. Get the kids to soccer practice, get home to make dinner, get home in time to see "Real housewives..." We're all so self-absorbed and blinded by our own lives we don't bother to see when our neighbor or our friend or a stranger may need a helping hand.

 

We don't care about ourselves so why should we care about anyone else? We try to please society, some particular group of friends, or someone but in the end are only doing it to please ourselves. We are shallow. We have now real value anymore. Look at websites like this, LoveShack.org only exists because we stopped communicating with the people in our lives. We come to the internet, faceless strangers, for help and support on things we already know.

 

There is only one problem with self-improvement. Us. We are our own hindrance to our own problem.

[Nikki Sahagin]

I agree with much that has been said. I think we all lack support networks. There are too many people living in too small a space and you'd think this would improve your chances of making connections, but it allienates you. There is no sense of community spirit, extended family or even a healthy nuclear family anymore. People grow up in fractured families. They don't know how to take the lows with the highs. As was said above the feeling of entitlement; there is so much freedom and so many options that we all feel we deserve everything. Everything we 'settle' for like a relationship or a job seems to become a sacrifice. We don't know how to give, only to take. I think society is all about trading up, buying something new, shinier. There is little meaning. There is little focus on communication, even that has become manipulated to be jargon and slang and persuasion. We have been manipulated to want things we don't need, and to take for granted the things we do need. We place objects ahead of people, so people suffer and struggle alone. Again as was said, we need to come to forums to reach out and be heard. Why do we not have people to do this for us in our own lifes? I'm sure some of us do. But why the disconnect?

 

I think we all feel like strangers. Everything is so competative that we view each other as enemies instead of just other humans struggling to make it in this crazy, crazy world.

 

As for the issue, it begins in us but I think is a product of everything. Our own minds, society, culture, what we are exposed to, what we learn, what we feel.

[quankanne]

good questions, yesha!

 

I think the biggest problem we face as a society and as individuals is that we fail to understand that we can be independent, that we don't "need" someone else to define ourselves. So many people go into (and stay in) relationships because they fear being "alone" ... alone is a place to start, a place to discover yourself and what strengths you possess.

 

and I think that fear is caused by society insisting that we be partnered, that if we are beautiful and sexy, we can get those partners; if we fail, there must be something seriously wrong with us, because it's unhealthy to be "alone" ... and that's plain stupid.

[josie54]

I think we all suffer from an overabundance of convenience, which leads to a host of emotional and physical problems--disconnection, depression, obesity, debt....you name it. Convenience has led us there.

 

For instance:

 

-Easy money: We borrow too much money because the banks say they can afford it. Credit card offers come in the mail, stores (even now) offer zero percent financing on products we don't need, and mortgage companies are asking people to refinance and "take that vacation."

 

-Easy access to foods and goods: 24-hour stores, shopping malls on every corner, drive-through restaurants. Not to mention taking a plastic bag to carry out a pack of gum (which I just saw someone do in front of me in the checkout line recently--she asked him, "Do you want a bag?" giving him the option to turn it down. "Yes," he said, without batting an eye. A bag. For a pack of GUM.)

 

-Easy living: We don't exercise because we live in neighborhoods with no sidewalks that connect us to the rest of the community. We drive everywhere, and never think of walking that mile to the store. We stay inside glued to the television, Internet, or video game console.

 

-Easy access to information: The media bombards us with the latest "disaster" making people panic, often for no reason. (Swine flu? The one that's resulted in 200 or so deaths so far? Do they ever mention that the REAL flu, that strikes every year, kills THOUSANDS, and no one bats an eye and often many don't even bother to get vaccinated?) As a result, we get too scared to let our kids out side or travel to other countries.

 

All this convenience has led to a sense of "learned helplessness," for lack of a better term. "The bank loaned me too much money, so now I'm in foreclosure." "The fast food industry sells fattening foods, so now I'm fat." "It's too dangerous 'out there' so I have to stay home and hide."

 

I know I'm drawing this to an extreme (most of us don't take this sense of blame quite this far), but I think much of this is happening on a subconscious level. It affects how we eat, live, and connect with others. We don't even realize that we're trapping ourselves, because of the messages we're getting every day. We have to make conscious efforts to shield ourselves from this level of insanity.

 

I hate the fact that we've based our society on this idea of convenience--on the idea of having what we want, when we want it, here, now and always. It's not so bad to walk to the store, make your own healthy dinner, bring your own bag, or turn down that plastic one. If we made our culture a little less convenient, we would all be better off in so many ways.

 

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[lonelyandfrustrated]

I think the biggest problem we face as a society and as individuals is that we fail to understand that we can be independent, that we don't "need" someone else to define ourselves.

 

Drop 'to define ourselves', and I think the rest of it describes the real biggest problem: that people are TOO independent, and therefore uninvested in each other. That leads to a bunch of screw-you mentality, nobody really cares about anybody anymore, and look at places like this. We all want someone to lean on and confide in, but our RL people don't give a crap, we're blocking their progress or harshing their mellow or whatever.

 

There's just no commitment anymore. Everyone is all about themself.

 

"What's in it for me?" is the new mantra.

 

i blame teh interwebs, and also turning away from God's purpose. We're supposed to need each other, and it is our purpose to serve each other.