She's older than me

[hopeful]

I have a crush on one of the TA's who taught one of my classes this last semester at college. I'm 21 (a senior) and she's probably 24 or so. We talk a bit over e-mail and I try to imply that I'm interested in her but have been afraid to come out and tell her. It's summer now (well, school is out that is) and I really want to ask her out. I don't have her #, just her e-mail addy, and don't want to ask her out over e-mail, doing so would make me look like a coward. I'm really afraid that since she's older than me by 3 (maybe more?) years, that she'd laugh if I asked her out. If any guys have been in similar situations, or ladies if you have any comments I welcome them. Thanks!

[D.]

Dating a girl that is older than yourself is not unusual. I myself have dated men younger than myself by a short margin.

 

You being 21 and her being 24 is really not that much of an age difference and should not be a factor.

 

You are right, however, not to want to ask her out on line. Perhaps while online you could ask her for her phone number and tell her there is something you wish to talk to her about but not online. Be prepared for her not to be willing to give it to you. That does not mean rejection, it only means she values her privacy and does not give out her number.

 

If she does give you her number, you want to take it slow by asking her out for coffee, or a walk in the part or an art show ...... something during the day. Give her the option of you picking her up or her meeting you there. That is always a good, slow, non-treatening start.

 

Remember also, she may already be involved in a relationship of which you are not aware. Be prepared for that as well. If that is the case, you can still enjoy her online company, or if that is too uncomfortable, move on to someone else.

 

Best of luck!

[Miranda]

Great advice!

 

I'd say, "GO FOR IT"!!!

 

Good luck.

[Tony T]

You can ask for her phone number via Email. Let her know there is something personal you want to discuss with her.

 

Invite her to a campus event or something pretty harmless first time around. Then proceed from there. You'll know whether she would be interested in seeing you more after that.

 

The only thing that bothers me about this is that when you are 97, she will be 100. Will that be too old for you then?

[Lisa]

I think you should go for it: I'm 45 and my bf was 28, think of that difference, he was born the year I started college!!! lol

 

Age difference, particularly in your case, does not mean anything anymore. Probably what bothers you more than the age is that you were her student. But that might not bother her at all.

 

Ask her out the next time you see her.. I don't see anything wrong with emailing her and asking her to a concert, or a movie or something like that.

 

Life is short, we are not promised tomorrow, don't have regrets for the road not taken...

[hopeful]

Tony,

 

Thanks for the advice. I don't consider her to be too old for me, it's more a fear that she might consider herself to be too old for me. I will follow your advice and ask her for her #. Thanks!

You can ask for her phone number via Email. Let her know there is something personal you want to discuss with her. Invite her to a campus event or something pretty harmless first time around. Then proceed from there. You'll know whether she would be interested in seeing you more after that. The only thing that bothers me about this is that when you are 97, she will be 100. Will that be too old for you then?

[Shay]

Go for it. I am 25 and I Love younger guys. She will be flattered that you like her if nothing else. I wish you the best of luck. You could always give her your number on an email and tell her youd like to ask her something.

I have a crush on one of the TA's who taught one of my classes this last semester at college. I'm 21 (a senior) and she's probably 24 or so. We talk a bit over e-mail and I try to imply that I'm interested in her but have been afraid to come out and tell her. It's summer now (well, school is out that is) and I really want to ask her out. I don't have her #, just her e-mail addy, and don't want to ask her out over e-mail, doing so would make me look like a coward. I'm really afraid that since she's older than me by 3 (maybe more?) years, that she'd laugh if I asked her out. If any guys have been in similar situations, or ladies if you have any comments I welcome them. Thanks!