lostsoulmate Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 I got a job back home will be moving there within the month. My daughter is going with me, we are working on the custody agreement. We are selling the house. It is over between us. Life just is what it is. Link to post Share on other sites
jwi71 Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 I got a job back home will be moving there within the month. My daughter is going with me, we are working on the custody agreement. We are selling the house. It is over between us. Life just is what it is. Good for you. Try and think of this as a positive step. And I'm proud of you. Glad you dropped the "original plan" and have placed the needs of your daughter, and to a lesser degree her father, first. Negotiate with her father, find a solution you can both live with - and shared time sucks for the parents. Be prepared to GIVE. Because its the right thing to do for your child. Good luck lostsoulmate...life begins anew Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 Be prepared to GIVE. Because its the right thing to do for your child I agree...difficult to do,still has to be done...it IS the right thing to do. To new beginnings! <cheers!> Link to post Share on other sites
boldjack Posted May 8, 2009 Share Posted May 8, 2009 LSM, I wish you and your little girl well in your new life. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 Custody agreement? Unless he is rich and can fly to see her every weekend...what kind of custody agreement would there be with you moving that far away? Once a year? Link to post Share on other sites
mark982 Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 excelent point dexter Link to post Share on other sites
tami-chan Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Custody agreement? Unless he is rich and can fly to see her every weekend...what kind of custody agreement would there be with you moving that far away? Once a year? I didn't know "custody agreements only meant, weekends"?...hmmmm...I know someone whose "custody agreement meant, holidays and school vacations... Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 I didn't know "custody agreements only meant, weekends"?...hmmmm...I know someone whose "custody agreement meant, holidays and school vacations... a custody "agreement" can mean anything. point was, what kind of "agreement" is it going to be for him and his child for her to be that far away? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Well, it's only 90 minutes by plane. They can structure the costs into the support agreement. I know my dad had two daughters across the country from the wife who left him while he was soldiering during WW2 and he religiously sent his support payments and gifts/cards and never saw them. That was back in the 40's and 50's. He never talked about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Well, it's only 90 minutes by plane. How many people do you know that could afford 2 flights a month? Because to me, it would not be acceptable to not be able to see my kids but once or twice a year just because their mother decided to move that far away. My kids are more important to me than that. They can structure the costs into the support agreement. I'd say since she is the one that is moving away, she should pay the costs. but alas, a court wouldn't force a mother to pay transportation costs even if she was the one that made the decision to take the child that far away from the father. Sucks to be a dad in this day and age after divorce. I know my dad had two daughters across the country from the wife who left him while he was soldiering during WW2 and he religiously sent his support payments and gifts/cards and never saw them. yup, this is where father's get the shaft. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 I don't recall but will assume the daughter is under 5yo, so dad will have to come to her, as there's no reason for mom to travel back to dad's locale anymore (this was the situation with my dad and his daughters). I would definitely petition the court for some relief in consideration for primary physical custody being at a distance. I hope dad doesn't fall on his sword if he truly loves his daughter. I hope he fights for fairness. I hope the OP remembers her childhood and wants to do better for her daughter Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostsoulmate Posted May 18, 2009 Author Share Posted May 18, 2009 I will have her during the school year, he will have her during summer. Funny how you all get your panties in a bunch before you even know what is going on. We plan on selling the house within a year as we already have a buyer (he has agreed to do this when she starts school in the fall), and he is moving to South Dakota. We are no longer together, but he has decided to start a new life closer to his daughter. Good for our daughter, good for him and good for me. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 Mam, if you're talking to me, I don't wear panties. I do however, know your history here and have supported and commented on it. When you provide an update lacking pertinent details, based on your original postings, we are forced to fill in the blanks with customary procedures or seek more information. Happy it worked out for you Link to post Share on other sites
mark982 Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 i still don't see how this is a win-win sitution.he(imho)still gets tossed outta his childs life.only having the kid for the summer?how long do you think that's going to last before the kid don't want to go for the summer.pretty soon all he will be is the guy mommy gets checks from. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 i still don't see how this is a win-win sitution.he(imho)still gets tossed outta his childs life.only having the kid for the summer?how long do you think that's going to last before the kid don't want to go for the summer.pretty soon all he will be is the guy mommy gets checks from. exactly. And when she gets older, she isn't going to want to spend the summer away from her friends, especially once she gets in high school. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostsoulmate Posted May 18, 2009 Author Share Posted May 18, 2009 i still don't see how this is a win-win sitution.he(imho)still gets tossed outta his childs life.only having the kid for the summer?how long do you think that's going to last before the kid don't want to go for the summer.pretty soon all he will be is the guy mommy gets checks from. Not asking for child support. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostsoulmate Posted May 18, 2009 Author Share Posted May 18, 2009 exactly. And when she gets older, she isn't going to want to spend the summer away from her friends, especially once she gets in high school. Perhaps that is why he is going to move. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 Perhaps that is why he is going to move. Yup, he has been forced into it. Always nice to know that father's are forced to do things against their will just to be able to see their children if a mother decides she doesn't care how far away she moves them from their father. At least he is doing as right by her as he can in light of the crappy situation you have put him in. Link to post Share on other sites
jwi71 Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 Yup, he has been forced into it. Always nice to know that father's are forced to do things against their will just to be able to see their children if a mother decides she doesn't care how far away she moves them from their father. At least he is doing as right by her as he can in light of the crappy situation you have put him in. Oh come on Dex...its the best of a wholly crappy situation...and considering from where she came...yeah, she did good. It IS progress on her part. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 Oh come on Dex...its the best of a wholly crappy situation...and considering from where she came...yeah, she did good. It IS progress on her part. she did good? she all of a sudden doesn't want to live where they made a life....cheats on him, decides she doesn't care what he thinks and is going to move his daughter from him that far away....and she did good? Did good at what? Deciding "my way or the highway" and forcing the girl's father into moving against his will JUST so he can see his own child? If you mean manipulating the situation and the girl's father...yes....she did good. good news is, the girl's father wants to be with her and at least one parent is thinking about the child. Link to post Share on other sites
jwi71 Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 Um...its good that she dumped her plan to string him along then move out leaving him in the dust. Yeah...the change from that to openly communicating with him, to finding a job and working towards a healthy split DESERVES applause. It IS progress. Color as you like Dex...but her choice of action IS improvement. And that IS good (the improvement). Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 Um...its good that she dumped her plan to string him along then move out leaving him in the dust. I don't think she ever planned to string him along. I think she planned on doing what she wanted to do no matter who it hurt. But yes, its good that he isn't being strung along....I agree. Yeah...the change from that to openly communicating with him, to finding a job and working towards a healthy split DESERVES applause. I agree....but moving his child away no matter what he might have thought does not deserve applause. Link to post Share on other sites
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